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Jumping Nothing

A podcast about professional wrestling by Karl and Michael, teasing a powerbomb through the Spanish announce table before reversing into a back body drop through the English announce table. Mostly Raw and pay-per-views.



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Jumping Nothing
Sep 1, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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If Vince McMahon's deepest, most personal dreams had somehow come true, the Million Dollar Man would have been a good guy. He would have come out, waved money, ordered people around, made off-colour remarks and, ultimately, he would have been lauded as a hero. It didn't happen that way for Ted DiBiase, but it's working for Donald Trump. "Lemme tell you something, I'm very rich," he says. The crowd cheers. "Women are pigs," he says. The crowd cheers. "I own a lot of golf...
Jumping Nothing
Sep 1, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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If Vince McMahon's deepest, most personal dreams had somehow come true, the Million Dollar Man would have been a good guy. He would have come out, waved money, ordered people around, made off-colour remarks and, ultimately, he would have been lauded as a hero. It didn't happen that way for Ted DiBiase, but it's working for Donald Trump. "Lemme tell you something, I'm very rich," he says. The crowd cheers. "Women are pigs," he says. The crowd cheers. "I own a lot of golf...
Jumping Nothing
Aug 3, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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Hulk Hogan is alive. Roddy Piper is dead. Hulk Hogan is bad. Roddy Piper is good. Hulk Hogan was in that movie where he plays basically Hulk Hogan but wearing blue. Roddy Piper was in a John Carpenter cult-classic B movie that Slavoj Zizek featured in one of his documentaries about film. Hulk Hogan is despised. Roddy Piper is beloved. Hulk Hogan is the 1980s monoculture. Roddy Piper is the 1980s counterculture. Hulk Hogan did not kick Cyndi Lauper in the head and remain lifelong friends with...
Jumping Nothing
Jul 11, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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Bray, County Wicklow, Ireland. Just south of Dublin, it’s the birthplace of Finn Balor, Hozier and, most importantly, Jumping Nothing’s Cathal. Join us as we hear tales of his time in the community hall watching an 18-year-old Fergal Devitt crack open his head off a ladder in front of the world’s most casual crowd. We also take in the new NXT champion’s time in Japan, the logic of his ‘inner demon’ gimmick and, most excitingly, we fantasy book his move to the main roster of the WWE....
Jumping Nothing
Jun 23, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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The team head to the pub in blitz-wracked Bethnal Green, London to get soused and prepare for an evening of traditional greasy grapple in storied York Hall, as former WWE stars, indie darlings and THE CURRENT IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION fly in to take on the best the locals have to offer in Revolution Pro Wrestling’s Summer Sizzler. We speculate on what’s about to happen in the lively Old George pub before reviewing events back at the studio. We are SHOCKED by Matt Classic’s true identity....
Jumping Nothing
May 18, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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Daniel Bryan is finished. Injury has done for him for perhaps the final time. In this podcast, the team discuss whether this is their fault, and by extension your fault, for demanding so much of a preternaturally talented star. There's a wide-ranging discussion, from a 25-year-old 5'8" indie wrestler being the best in the world to a man holding up the belt at the end of a Wrestlemania booked around him. We talk Bryan the strong-style master, Bryan the artist, Bryan the child entertainer...
Jumping Nothing
May 5, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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The Irish and the Mexicans have links that go deep, from our shared affection for the Olé Olé Olé football chant to the disproportionately large number of Mexican fast good outlets in Dublin considering its population of ~8 Mexican people. So it’s sure to be a joyful time when our team, renamed Carlos, Don Miguel and El Wogano for the occasion, take a look at Lucha Underground, the hour-long lucha libre show that popped up at some point last year. Join us as we discover the wizardry of the...
Jumping Nothing
Apr 20, 2015 Jumping Nothing
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Brock Lesnar doesn’t seem like he enjoys wrestling all that much - but that doesn’t matter, because he is incredible at it. In the first episode of the new series of Jumping Nothing, Karl and Michael are joined in their new studio (...not apartment) by new addition Cathal, recruited for his unmatchable virtue of being from somewhat near Fergal Devitt in Bray. With the third man in place, they unpack the problem of Brock Lesnar, a man who doesn’t do anything smart fans like, but whom it is...
Jumping Nothing
Jul 30, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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Bret Hart is the greatest professional wrestler of all time - this is a topic on which even implacable enemies Karl and Michael can agree. As a result, this episode is something of a celebration. We begin at Wrestlemania 10 and conclude at Wrestlemania 13, covering the period of time during which the Hitman consistently failed to have hall-of-fame quality pay-per-view matches, selecting six to show that he could, at his height, do everything, with anyone. The compilation takes in Bret making...
Jumping Nothing
Jun 24, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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Things take a turn towards Lovecraftian horror as Michael and Karl unfurl the hundreds of depressing things about the fan media that surrounds professional wrestling. From shoot interviewers who laugh at Roddy Piper getting raped to dirt sheets posting about Seth Rollins’ outfit as if it was ‘dirt’ like in the 80s, and from Mick Foley’s relentless Al Snow jokes to the WWE poptimists, we dig up the uncomfortable. Then we stare at it and go, “Jesus”, and sigh, and laugh in a macabre...
Jumping Nothing
May 27, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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AJ Styles stealing Devitt's family, Michael Elgin being cube-shaped, Okada not understanding English and Ligeruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu - it's NJPW vs ROH.
Jumping Nothing
May 1, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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Punk was the best in the world, but now Punk is dead. It’s not uncommon for professional wrestlers to brag - it’s necessary, even, in many cases. And a long line of arrogant young men have claimed the title of world’s best for themselves over the past several decades. But it only starts to matter when it begins to feel, even slightly, true. With that in mind, Karl and Michael select instructive moments in CM Punk’s career and see what they can see. Did he gain Raven’s powers of...
Jumping Nothing
Apr 10, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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Thought we'd stopped watching wrestling forever? Well, we had. After the disappointment of the Royal Rumble, Karl and Michael left the WWE Universe via wormhole and devoted themselves more fully to their hobbies - reading Gawker and studying the Elder Scrolls wiki respectively. But something happened. Was it the draw of a wrestling spectacular without parallel, live from New Orleans, Louisiana? Was it the opportunity to see Undertaker for perhaps the last time, and to cheer Daniel Bryan on as...
Jumping Nothing
Feb 2, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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Jumping Nothing
Jan 18, 2014 Jumping Nothing
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There is an alternative. Far from the world of matadors and John Cena's dad, away from indie wrestling's pale imitations, there is a place where wrestling is still strong, proud and captivating. That place is Japan. For the benefit of their souls, Karl and Michael watch a wrestling show that's actually good, staying seated for five and a half hours of dragons, Deloreans and demonic possession, of dropkicks that haven't forgotten the effective in-ring logic of a dropkick, and of Americans who...
Jumping Nothing
Dec 21, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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It’s awards time. Dave Meltzer carried the torch for so many years, but the elders have ruled that he doesn’t look sloppy enough any more to be the voice of record. With this in mind, Karl and Michael have bravely stepped into the fold to give out the only recognition worth getting in wrestling these days. Awards include: Best disguise Grimmest appearance Woman of the year Most disappointing finishing move for a man with huge t**s Best exploitation of an oft-terminal medical condition for...
Jumping Nothing
Dec 2, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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Big Men are back, and not just Ryback. As dirtsheets and smarks bandy the apparently leaked fact that Vince is tired of small people, Karl and Michael consider the mess that was Survivor Series as Year Zero in the switch to the mostly-big-men era. We consider if Roman Reigns is ready, brother, if Big E Langston is ready, brother, if Ryback is ready, brother, if Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are ready, brother, and if Mark Henry has an Uncle Chud (he does). Along the way, we ponder the kayfabe...
Jumping Nothing
Nov 11, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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Things get tense as Karl turns heel and shoots on these marks in defence of John Cena, the greatest of all time. It's an in-depth look into Ol' Steroid Skin himself, his merits and drawbacks, the excitement those trumpets reluctantly bring to even the grumpiest neckbeard. We talk hulking up - including whether John Cena's lack of implicit kayfabe supernatural ability harms his cause - and burials, and moveset, and great matches, and more. Karl also attempts to draw heat by literally calling our...
Jumping Nothing
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In this world, there is light and there is dark. There is good and there is evil. There is an indie show we real-life went to in London, and there is TNA’s Bound For Glory. Who will triumph in the battle to make Karl and Michael learn to stop worrying and love the powerbomb? This one’s fun. We talk about the almost peak-entertainment given by (the internet’s) Colt Cabana and (Vice wrestling documentary’s) Grado, the heelery of British men with guts and the absolutely impeccable genius...
Jumping Nothing
Oct 10, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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In this episode of Jumping Nothing, popular podcast duo Karl and Michael watch highly anticipated, never-seen-before, effectively personality-free WWE pay-per-view Battleground. Can Daniel Bryan defeat Randy Orton for the vacant WWE title? Will CM Punk finally get his hands on Paul Heyman for the 7th time? Can Cody and Goldust win their jobs back from the nefarious Shield? Answers to all this and more can be found through googling “WWE Battleground results”. We’re more concerned with...
Jumping Nothing
Sep 23, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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On today's Jumping Nothing, Karl and Michael explore independent wrestling. Is it all just vanilla midgets? Is it laudable to do 100 moves? Does it matter what order the 100 moves go in? Who is watching this? Why not do a headlock? Is it funny to tell people to lick your g******s? Are indie wrestling fans just shut-ins on insulin highs? Answers to these questions and more are at least implied on the latest podcast, in which our intrepid podcast hosts dissect a strange world of untelevised...
Jumping Nothing
Aug 24, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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Episode two of Jumping Nothing sees the wrestling world in strange shape. John Cena's gone for six months, Orton has turned heel, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan have both had incredible matches at the top of the Summerslam card, most of the indie wrestlers nerds like have been given contracts and Sin Cara is, as ever, injured. A mere year ago, that would constitute the wishlist of the 'smart' internet fan. But are Karl and Michael happy? Sort of. We praise the high points of Summerslam, insult the US...
Jumping Nothing
Aug 10, 2013 Jumping Nothing
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Karl and Michael mull the profoundly important question of whether professional wrestling is for children, as well as taking in Cena, Bryan, Lesnar, Punk and everyone else on Raw, and expressing hopes and dreams for Summerslam. This is Jumping Nothing, feel free to RKO.