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2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast

2homos@2homos.com (Roxanne and Virginia)

Ever wonder what two Lesbians talk about when they get together? Well...wonder no more. The 2 Homos Lesbian podcast is the show with two Lesbians sitting around talking about whatever crosses our minds. We're not always politically correct, and no topic is off limits. Come spend some time and get intimate with us. We're open-minded, we speak our minds...and sometimes, for better or worse, there's no "edit" button. Enjoy the random observations of the 2 Homos Lesbian Podcast.



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2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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If you're going to run for public office in America, you would think that a basic pre-requisite would be to have read the Constitution of the United States of America at least once. It's only a fundamental document that describes the role of government in the 50 states. If they did, they would know about a basic human right that all citizens are born with under the Constitution...the inalienable right to m********e.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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It's tough enough to come out to your parents, but when your parents are ok with you being Gay and you have a problem with it...then you're in serious trouble. Fortunately, for those parents working hard to accept their LGBT family member there's a place they can go to meet other parents dealing with those same issues. It's called PFLAG. Google it.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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It's not that Lesbians don't like Martha Stewart. We enjoy a nice afternoon of crafting as much as the straight girls next door. It's just that "crafting" for Lesbians includes putting up shelves, building a new addition on the house, and installing a pergola and a fire pit in the backyard. "Dykes on a Dyme" will show you how at: youtube.com/dykesonadyme.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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A Super Wife is not your ordinary wife. This is one that still takes you out for a romantic Valentine's Day affair, even after 14 years. She's the one that takes you to that special restaurant at the strip mall where you play a sexy game of "spot the Dyke"...just like when you first met. Next time, Ladies, don't make it so easy by putting a "Yes I Am" license plate frame on your car.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Somehow the quality of the cleaning job no longer seems to matter once the topless maid service comes over to do a cleaning. You no longer care about the fact that the cobwebs are still hanging from the ceiling, the toilet doesn't look like it's been cleaned in months and the kitchen floor looks like it's been scrubbed with a napkin. Then you realize that they sent over the topless grandma with her pancake t**s down to her knees. Now you'll pay extra just so that she doesn't clean topless.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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As you get older and start losing your vision, it doesn't become any less important to continue keeping up with good vag-scaping habits. Just because you can't see your bush, doesn't mean it doesn't require some regular grooming and upkeep. You can go out and get yourself a good bush-trimmer with all the accoutrements...or you can take your chances with some unscrupulous young lady from Craig's List. Just don't be surprised if she carves a pentagram in your bush and dyes it blue.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Conventional wisdom says that you should never pay for your whores with your credit card. Not only does it leave a tell-tale paper trail, but you also run the risk of your wife finding out about all your extracurricular activities. Then again, you're missing all those frequent flyer miles and rewards points you could be accruing with all those expensive purchases. It might be a worthwhile trade-off.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Out of ideas for a great new side dish for your next Super Bowl party? Here's a secret - follow around an 18 month old child, watch the foods they put together and write down all those special recipes. Who can resist blueberry yogurt and black olives. The best part is that there is absolutely no chance of anyone showing up at the same party with your super secret signature dish. Delish.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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In the event of a global nuclear war the only surviving life will be cockroaches and rats. Of course, there's no need to wait until Armageddon strikes. Rats and roaches are living in every house in America. They're sleeping right next to you, walking freely around your house, eating your food, and having more sex and making more babies than you are.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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It takes 10 muscles to smile and 6 muscles to frown. Either way sounds like a lot of work. Why not just go with Resting Bitch Face. That takes no muscles at all and is simply the look on some people's faces. It's not only true...there is science behind it to prove it. Upload your face.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Rescue centers that adopt pets usually go through a lot of effort to ensure that the pets they adopt out are a good match for the new owners. They check the pet's temperament against the new home, they check to see if the pet is high or low energy, if they're good with kids and if they get along with other animals. One aspect they tend to miss, however, is to check a dog's IQ. Nobody expects their next pet to be an Einstein, but it would be nice to adopt a pet that can at least remember where...
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Sometimes being a good partner simply means putting your own needs aside while you hold your partner's hand to help them through a scary or tough part of their life. It can be a gesture so simple as sitting calmly beside them talking about how hot Rhianna and Beyonce are while your partner is skidding down a treacherous snowy mountain about to careen off a cliff to her death. You can at least leave her with happy thoughts as she goes.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Listen up, straight people. Just because you figured out that Jodie Foster is a Lesbian does not mean you have Gaydar. Even if your best friend is Gay, this does not mean you gain Gaydar by osmosis. This is a special super power that only Gay People are endowed with. No, George Clooney is not Gay, either.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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There was a time when you could find a doctor to cure your various STD's on the down low without letting your wife or partner in on your little secret. Today we need computer technicians that can do the same thing. Every once in while you need to find someone that can carefully clean all the viruses and nasty infections off your computer without letting the new girl you're dating know anything about it. All gone.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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It's time to get schooled. Here's your list of true or false questions: 1. All Lesbians drive trucks. 2. All Lesbians have short hair 3. All Lesbians are sporty. 4. All Lesbians are vegetarians. 5. Lesbians like to drive motorcycles. 6. All Lesbians sleep with each other. How are you doing so far? Remember...70% is considered passing.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Most people traveling by air these days will do anything to avoid extra charges for luggage, onboard food and anything else that might be considered civilized....even leg room. Instead we'll all pack and stuff our onboard bags so full that even if you had to buy a box of tampons the only way you could get them on the plane is to shove them all inside yourself at once.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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It's a well know fact that Lesbians have to change out the carpeting in their homes twice as frequently as Gay men. All that carpet munching really takes a toll on things. The only thing that's changed is that the Lesbians just don't buy their carpeting at Home Depot anymore. Time to sell your stock.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Lesbian fishing attire: Baseball hat - check. Thermal base layer under your matching t-shirt - check. Hooded sweatshirt to layer on top - check. Sporty, wraparound sunglasses - check. Stylish waterproof boots - check. Faded pair of comfortable blue jeans - check. Fishing pole with a pink wrapped grip and a matching pink reel - nope. That belongs to the straight chick on the boat.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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All straight men should be required to get a back wax at least once in their life. It's not because they need it and it's not necessarily because back hair is gross. It's more for the amusement of Lesbians and their friends. We're just freaky that way...and we like to watch.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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These days there are so many ways to pick up women. You can browse the personal ads, go on match.com or even do it the old fashioned way by picking up some drunk chick at a bar. Why would you even think about tossing some chicken bones down on the ground in front of some lady walking her dog just so you can save her dog and be her hero by giving her dog mouth to snout resuscitation? It just seems like so much more work than is really necessary.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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If you really want to fight obesity in America, and you're really serious about it, the answer is not to force stores to sell carbonated drinks under 16 ounces in size. The answer is first to shut down all the McDonald's in America, secondly to stop the Little Caesar's two for one pizza deal, and the third is to replace all the Coke and Pepsi on store shelves with look-alike cola that tastes like crap. That will cause all American's to stop drinking soda altogether. It's not a...
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Becoming a vegan used to seem like so much work. Every meal has to be planned out down to the last detail, you have to shop for groceries on a more regular basis, you have to find exotic recipes to keep meals interesting and you have to interrogate every restaurant server about each dish on the menu just to make sure you can eat it. Nobody wanted to invite you over for dinner because you were such a pain in the ass. Now that we know about meat glue and pink slime...vegan doesn't sound like...
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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You should always strive to your best in everything you do. It's important to give it your all and really put your heart into it to be the best you can be. Once you've blown your wad and put forth your very best effort, even if you didn't come in first you can still feel good about it...until someone tells you that you're second best...out of two.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Nothing spells H.O.T. like a smooth, dreamy waterbed from the 1970's, especially if it has automatic heat controls. Then you think about your parents banging away in their new sleep numbers automatically adjustable bed...and suddenly...it just doesn't seem as hot and sexy anymore.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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What most people fail to realize is that swearing can be a serious addiction. Most addicts are helpless to stop and need some type of intervention to help them break the cycle. You'll know you've hit rock bottom when you realize that you can't get through a complete sentence without swearing at least once, and when the first word that comes out of your baby's mouth is, m**********r.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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There are few things more disturbing than thinking about sweaty balls...except perhaps thinking about having sweaty lips. Now that the holidays are upon us, do a friend a solid and find some Clean Balls or Lip Clean. Wrap it up into a sexy little package and make it your special secret gift between you and the one you love this holiday season. The world will be a better place.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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Who doesn't want a cuddly lovable pet to love and enjoy? Here's an idea...why not a full grown alligator? There's a pet you can let roam freely through your backyard and your house, a pet you can have curl up to you at night when you sleep, and a pet that's really good with children. Feeding it isn't really a problem either. Just let it eat all the cats and small dogs in the neighborhood.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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If you're going to open a business, it's helpful to have the name of your company clearly spell out to customers exactly what you're selling. After all these years it finally became clear that the spot between the t**t and the s*****r is called the Twitter. Some people are just the last to know.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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There's no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed if your children photo bomb other families on vacation taking their own family photos. They're just trying to do a public service by trying to make the other family look better. It's a public service that's free of charge.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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You go to a party later in the evening...you're not planning to stay the night, but it's possible that you might be too tired to drive home. Now comes the quandary... Before you go out you get to choose one extra thing to bring with you without being consdidered psycho. Do you take the fresh pair of panties or do you take a toothbrush? Choose wisely.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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With Thanksgiving right around the corner, it's time to kick off the holiday season in style. It's time to sit in front of your computer to type that annual holiday letter to all your friends, family and people you care about to tell them what you've been up to all year long. Of course if you really gave a s**t about them you might have actually picked up the phone once or twice throughout the year instead of contacting them once a year with some ridiculous form letter that nobody wants to read...
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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The meaning of a true partnership is when a your spouse is willing to get up in the middle of the night, walk down the street in her pajamas and look like some freak on her cell phone in the middle of the street to hack a portal for a video game you're playing. The even truer meaning of the word partnership is that she puts up with you playing that nerdy game with teenage boys across the city that are up late at night jizzing on their cellphones.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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It's important to be a good role model for our kids and to help our community. When someone needs a helping hand, it's an opportunity to set a good example by doing whatever you can to reach out and help. It's in that spirit that we're gathering friends and family together to help us send 100 cases of Clorox Urine Cleaner to Connecticut to help clean up the hundreds of jugs of urine that the State doesn't know what to do with.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
by 2 Homos
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You have a few drinks one night and you decide to pleasure yourself before you go to bed. In the morning you can't find your vibrator. There's either a mouse in your closet that is having the time of their life....or you had better go looking for that thing immediately. Immediately as in right now...not 10 years from now.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Four more states that now allow Gay marriage, the first out Lesbian Senator, a President of the United States acknowledges Gay history for the very first time, and we have two challenges headed to the Supreme Court regarding DOMA and Gay marriage. A couple of months in, and 2013 is already a great year. Of course, Ethan won't be happy until his moms can be legally married in every state in the US...and he is going to let everyone know that he is not happy until that happens.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Sometimes you can go months or even years without thinking about someone, and then one day out of the blue it hits you...are they dead or alive? Sometimes maybe you're just better off not knowing. The mystery of not knowing is more exciting than the truth.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Just as Batman has a Batmobile, MILF's need to have a MILF mobile. The only problem is that MILF mobile has to go when the kids come along...unless you have a few hot au pairs that drive your kids around in the Range Rover with the car seats while you head down to West Hollywood in your convertible. All this happens while the wife is at work...of course.
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Lesson learned. Buy American and you won't have to worry about importing all kinds of foreign bugs and larva that will burrow into your skin and erupt with millions of babies that you now have to raise and take care of as your own. One baby is just plenty.
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Fund-raisers are a dime a dozen these days. Everyone is riding their bike, running a marathon or dancing all night long to raise money for one charity or another. If your friends are suffering from fund-raising fatigue and they don't want to donate money for another cause, it's time to big out the big guns. Invite them to an event where women are removing their clothes and dancing on poles, and you'll be able to meet your fund-raising goal in one hour or less.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Sometimes you just want to kick back and enjoy a good movie. You want to sit in the movie theater, relax and enjoy some passive entertainment. It's all good until you realize the move is subtitled and you have to work at reading the movie instead of watching it. If I wanted to read the book...I would have stayed at home. Then the sex scene starts....
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Everyone needs someone they can count on when the going gets tough. You need someone that can provide the necessary air cover when you're trying to hit on that really cute guy that you've been staring at all night long at the club. Just be careful who you choose to be your Wing Girl, however. You don't want your creepy Lesbian friend hitting on the hot guy you've been checking out. In the end he might just wind up liking her better than you.
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Before you get into a new relationship, you may want to take a look at the new prospect's track record with breakups. It's not about how many breakups they've had, but more about how they behave during a breakup. You don't want to be the subject of the next Eminem song with all your blubbering voicemail messages crafted into the next hit song making it to the top of the charts on the radio.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Be careful what you offer to do for a friend just to be nice. There may come a day when you have to make good on that promise, and you might just run out of friends to offer up and throw under the bus in your place. The real test will be when it comes down to the last minute and it looks you may just have to go to the theater to see the live dancing show. At that point do you suck it up and go, or do you get a last minute case of the runs so bad that you can't even leave the house?
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Somewhere in the world there must exist an institution where Lesbians can go to learn how to be a proper Lesbian. There will be woodworking classes, workshops to learn all about the different types of denim and flannel, and an extra credit course you can take to help you make your work boots match your outfits. The one class that is required by all attendees will be how to shake hands properly without crushing the crap out of everyone you meet.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Southern California has two seasons, bone dry and flooding rain. During the dry season you can go out of the house any time of the day or night and never have to worry about checking the weather at all. When it rains, however, the National Weather service should not only issue an emergency alert that all of a sudden nobody remembers how to drive, but also to be aware that it's wash day for the homeless river lady. When wash day comes, everything gets washed...even if she's wearing it already.
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Landmines used to be the affectionate name to call piles of dog crap in the backyard that needed to be cleaned up before the gardeners showed up. Then came Jersey Shore, which taught us that landmines were simply ugly chicks to avoid in a bar. Now we're back to land mines really being a danger for the gardeners, except this time a gardener really did get blown up.
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It's true...bush is back. Even if you're not interested in growing a bush for yourself, there is still something you can do to help those in need. For all those ladies that lasered their bushes off back in the nineties and now can't grow a pube if they wanted to, you can grow your own pubic hair and donate it to Locks of Love for pubes. Feel good while helping others to feel good, too.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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The average human passes gas at least 14 times every single day. Gas is a just a natural part of the digestion process and everyone does it. Still...you can rest assured that stinkiest toot you'll do each day will occur at the most inappropriate time possible. If it's not in the middle of the meeting with your boss, it will be right at the moment the new girl you just met goes down on you for the first (and possibly the last) time.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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Going for a massage is the same as having sex with your partner. It's important to have a good line of communication going throughout the entire experience where you talk to each other about what feels good and what's too much. In either case there's a possibility that you could wind up with a hand up your ass going for a deep tissue massage if you just lay there quietly like a dead fish not saying anything.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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As a parent you have a responsibility to talk to your children directly about the important things in life. That means telling it exactly as it is and not beating around the bush. This includes sex, masturbation, breasts and periods. There is no more horrifying a surprise for a 12-year old girl than to all of a sudden see blood shooting out of her vagina and coming to realize for the first time that this is going to happen every month of her life for the next 40 years.
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If one is good, then we'll take two. Two times the dirty diapers, two times the amount of food to buy, two times the pairs of shoes and two times the bill for college. Of course, It will only take one time to scare off the boys who try to date the twins before they've reached the age of 35.
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Professionals in all walks of life take care of the tools they use to do their job. Top chefs keep their knives protected and razor sharp, artists make sure they're brushes are in top notch shape for their next masterpiece, and musicians strive to make sure their instruments are tuned up perfectly. It's pretty much the same for Lesbians. We keep our nails trimmed, our hands clean and we declare a national emergency that must be taken care of immediately if the dishwasher breaks and it means we...
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Owning a vagina is a big responsibility. You can't just place that kind of responsibility in anyone's hands and hope for the best. It's important to clean it regularly, to dry it out properly and to make sure no bacteria or mold grows on it. Most of all it's important to pick out a pretty color when you first get one, and to make sure that the carpeting matches the drapes.
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Halloween is the best holiday ever. On what other day can you walk an attractive cop into your house, wearing a smokin' hot, sexy uniform with a super-short skirt, in front of your wife and into your office, where you have a pull-out futon matress...and nobody even thinks twice about it?
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Countries are at war with each other, people are dying for no good reason, 50% of Americans are now obese, drug use is spiralling out of control, the worst recession this country has had since the Great Depression.... Doesn't God have enough to worry about without having to listen to you pray about making a touchdown? Just let God take a day off and enjoy the Super Bowl like everyone else.
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The Glendale police department are out wasting their time giving tickets to cyclists who are just out enjoying a peaceful bike ride while blowing through stop signs. What they should really be doing is something that will keep the streets safe for everyone. How about giving out moving violations to cyclists that really shouldn't be wearing spandex at all. $350 for the spandex muffin top. $500 for wearing the white spandex shorts.
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Everyone likes to have good neighbors that they can rely on when you need a little help. Someone to borrow a cup of sugar from, someone to help cut down tree branches, or just someone to chit chat with while you're out walking the dog in the neighborhood. But, when being a good neighbor means stroking your dog's dick...in some cultures that may be considered crossing a line.
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Neighborhood watch doesn't mean that you get together with a few neighbors for a few beers every night and check out all the cute girls and guys in the neighborhood. It also doesn't mean that you stay in the house and peek through the blinds when you hear something strange going on outside. What it does mean is that once trouble starts, you go get the Postal Service Lesbian down the street that can hold her little dog in one hand and kick the crap out of any perp that comes into the...
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It doesn't really matter if you did pick up the individually plastic wrapped roses at the local 7-11 and arranged them thoughtfully in a bouquet for your lady for Valentine's Day. Let her just believe that you could not stop thinking about how wonderful she is all day long and that you just wanted to sweep her off her feet and surprise her with the most magnificent bouquet of flowers ever. Why destroy the fantasy by admitting that you simply picked them up like a supermarket rag at the checkout...
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If necessity is the mother of invention, then why hasn't someone invented a weapon that can kill mosquitos in the middle of the night as they buzz by your ears, bite you everywhere they can find an exposed piece of skin and keep you up to all hours of the morning annoying the crap out of you? I'm not asking for much. Maybe just a bedside flame thrower.
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It's important for everyone on this planet to do their part to protect the environment. Stop drinking water out of plastic bottles and instead drink it out of paper boxes that require trees to be cut down. Put it in a container that's so large that you need to use a glass that then requires hot water that uses fossil fuels to heat up and then detergent that contains phosphates that leak in to our water supply. Let's get serious and do your part, people.
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One of the wedding vows that most people completely skip over about is the one where the minister tells you that you've been entrusted with a vagina, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for all the days of your life. That means it's your responsibility to always make sure it's in good working condition, that it's not sagging and that nobody leaves a tampon up there and forgets to take it out. It's a lot of responsibility.
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Motherhood sounds all nice and sweet like Winnie The Pooh and lollipops, until you realize that the best way to take a baby's temperature accurately is by using a rectal thermometer. It's bad enough to have your wife staring at you with the phone in her hand ready to dial 911, until you realize that the thermometer you're holding is actually the oral thermometer that you should have been using to take your own temperature earlier that same day.
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There's a reason why wedding seating arrangements are so important, and it's not about putting interesting, fun people together. It's more about separating people that can't stand to be around each other or people that will cause drama when they are together. You have to be sure to separate the groom's former ex, who is also his aunt's ex together at the same table with the ex's current husband and her girlfriend on the side. It gets complicated.
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What's not to like? You get three square (but very salty) meals a day, an enema every other day and someone to sponge bathe your g******s every couple of days. So what if people keep you up with their howling and screaming all night long, the lady next door comes in to your room to tell your visitors that you've been dead for two years or that the cleaning lady withholds toilet paper when you have to take a crap? You're living it up at the lovely Country Villa Convalescent Hospital.
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Some people eat mushrooms, some people study mushrooms, some people grow mushrooms, and others simply manage by the mushroom principle -- keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em crap.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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It used to be that a slutty young gold digger could just give an old man a good roll in the hay, he would have a heart attack and die immediately after signing away his will to the new 20 year old he just stared banging. Now with Viagra, those old bastards can hang on forever. Now you really have to think about whether or not it's worth it to marry Hugh Hefner just to be come the heir to the Playboy fortune.
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
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E-bay is the panacea for buying anything at all you can think of. It doesn't matter what it is...new or used...shipped from anywhere in the world, you can find it on E-bay. Next time you take the dogs on a walk at 5am and one of them gets hit by a reckless driver in the dark and the fog, you can find the murder chalk you need to draw an outline of the dead body on E-bay. Just search for it.
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You're eco-sensitive about almost everything in your life. You drink out of a reusable plastic bottle, you recycle everything you can and you even have a composting bin in the backyard. Why not take it one step further and just not wear any underwear. That way you can reduce the amount of laundry you have to do and conserve water at the same time. Lesbians will still find you just as sexy as if you were wearing only a thong.
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The unspoken rule of Lesbian Etiquette - if you see another Lesbian that you don't know, don't talk to her. Don't make eye contact. Don't acknowledge her existence. Don't stand too close to her. And, definitely don't be seen together in the same location for more than a minute. It's a good thing online dating is now an option or Lesbians would be single forever.
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The true test of parenthood is when you fall down in the playground, twist your ankle around to the back of your head, hit the ground in the worst pain you've ever felt shooting up your leg....and you still don't let out a swear word in front of all the children. The good news is that instead of boiling eggs to color for Easter, you can just put your swollen foot full of special colors inside an Easter basket and call it good.
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There really is a place where it doesn't matter which ethnic background you come from, which religion you are, your gender or your sexual orientation. Try calling a government office to make an appointment and everyone from any walk of life will suffer equally. You'll be stuck in a voice telephone system that's impossible to navigate and then after waiting on hold for hours, you'll be disconnected as soon as someone comes on the line. Equality for all.
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Now that Gay marriage is legal in more than half the states in the U.S. we no longer have to worry about young Lesbians bringing the U-Haul to the second date. Now we have to worry about the long waiting list at the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas and the scarcity of wedding cakes all over the country. At least the wedding flowers can be recycled, since the divorces will be happening before the flowers lose their scent.
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Thanksgiving...the time of year to be thankful for family, good friends, all the wonderful things in our lives and for sharing with others. Next time you share that secret family recipe that's been handed down from generation to generation make sure that you leave out one ingredient so that you drive the next three generations insane trying to figure out how you make that special pie taste so good.
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Any good parent wants to make sure that their kid has a positive childhood filled with lots of interesting experiences that they'll remember for the rest of their life. You want to enrich them with educational outings and fun-filled family trips. As you're thinking about where you might go and what you might do with your child, for most parents that might not include a visit to a Hookah bar or teaching them how to light things on fire so that you have a 20-foot bonfire.