The gender stereotypes clinton truth
- Publication date
The gender stereotypes clinton truth: Telling the truth even when it's an inconvenient truth or a painful truth. take that proverbial case of the wife asking her husband if she looks fat in this dress and i'm intentionally using the gender stereotypes here although it could work just as well with either any combination of genders fat in this dress and let's say that the truth is that she thinks she does.
- 2022-06-07 18:27:52
- Internet Archive Python library 3.0.1
- Give me the outfit makes me look fat this is a timeless question do which husbands and boyfriends if they know what is good for them it's supposed to answer no course not regardless of what they actually may think this is the classic lie that we tend to think of is not only excusable but virtuous. In fact some would say that it's a. Wrong it can be wrong not to lie in this situation culture in which lying is accepted. And forgiving and at times even encouraged. Our politicians sometimes lie to us and we've come to accept it is par for the course. Think of president clinton's infamous. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. This lie got him into trouble temporarily but then you see bumper stickers that say when clinton lied no one died. This is forgiving clinton's lie by contrasting it with the more egregious lies if the bush administration to lies about weapons of mass destruction in iraq that led us to war. The philosophical underpinnings of this bumper sticker is that ally is not a moral wrong and absolute sense but only insofar as it hurts people. Then even bushes lies that had such dire consequences seem to have been quickly forgotten. The american people re-elected him after all. Dj telling the truth i got you into a lot more trouble than lying just ask edward snowden. There seems to be a general cultural consensus that lying itself. Is not evil and truth-telling itself is not good. It's contextual. It depends. Even the biblical commandment to not bear false witness against one's neighbor doesn't outlaw lying generally but specifically when lying incriminates and innocent person. Most of the major medieval jewish commentators. Don't even comment on this commandment. Because its meaning is thought to be narrow and obvious. It's about preserving a court system that's reliable and just. One commentator it benezra notes that the verb can be read as causative to cause to testify falsely. So it's prohibiting hiring a false witness as well as doing it yourself. But they don't extrapolate to lying in general. The fact that it specifies against your neighbor makes an error still. The commandment to not kill. Simply says don't kill. It doesn't say don't kill your neighbor. The commandment against stealing simply says don't steal. It doesn't say don't steal from your neighbor. These are absolutely wrong regardless of whether the victim is your neighbor or not but the ninth commandment says do not bear false witness against your neighbor. Which suggests that this is specifically about relationships within a community. The message seems to be that lying is not an absolute wrong like killing and stealing but it is wrong with in a community because of the damage it does to relationships. Honesty is part of the glue that holds the fabric of a community together. When is congregation road our regulations covenant be clearly thought so too. It says among other things speak the truth as you experience it with kindness care and respect. You can find those regulations having it on our website or down at the welcome table after the service. This is a challenging idea because of course when we lie it's most often to preserve our relationships. It's to make things nice. We figured that sometime it's far more destructive to tell the truth. Take that proverbial case of the wife asking her husband if she looks fat in this dress and i'm intentionally using the gender stereotypes here although it could work just as well with either any combination of genders fat in this dress and let's say that the truth is that she thinks she does. There are two possibilities for why she's asking. Hey it's an honest question she honestly wants to know his opinion cuz she wants help in deciding whether she should wear the dress or not 4b the question is code for a different question. Like do you love me or are you attracted to me. If it's an option she truly wants his opinion then surely he owes it to her to give it to her. She is explicitly asked for help and making a decision she values his input and if he cares about her he should mislead her. If it's option b and when she's really asking is do you love me or are you attracted to me. Then it's a lot more complicated because in fact she is being dishonest with her question. She's not asking what she wants to know. So what to do. He could play along with the game. She's asking do i look fat meaning do you love me and he could say no you don't look fat man and yes i love you. So he'll be answering and code the question that was asked in code. But what a mess. What a sad state of affairs if we can't ask what we really mean and say what we really mean. I think a much healthier and bolder approach would be for the husband to say yes that dress is not flattering on you and i love you very much. Let's look at one more scenario if sticking with option b she speaking in code and wants to know if her husband loves her. And in fact. He doesn't. Then it's even more essential that he tell the truth. That would be the hardest truth of all but above all she would have a right to know that. We have a right to know the truth even if we don't always want to hear it. There's no worst kind of lie but a lie that's a private somebody of the information that they need to make good choices in their lives. Of course real relationships are rarely so simple as binaries of loving or not loving. Thinking somebody looks good or bad it's not so clear. It's usually shades of grey and the truth is blurry and the small lies that we tell or just rolled into the general fuzzy ambivalence is of daily life. And so it's easy to tell ourselves that we're not really lying. For being kind. We're choosing one truth from many possible truths that we could offer. But anyway we're a postmodern people and he's stark notions of truth and falsehood are so passe. But here as barbara warren in her homily we run the risk of lying to ourselves. Because telling the truth. As best as we can discern it. Is really really hard. You don't get to wallow in pleasant fantasies about who you are. You have to own up to your own failings and shortcomings. First to yourself. And then two others. You don't get to manage your image. You don't have recourse to the little fibs that protect us all from responsibilities and judgment. You also don't get to indulge in social niceties but you have to instead get real with the people in your life. You have to endure the consequences of people having information before you are ready for them to have it. This could be awkward. It can be painful. What can cause conflict. It can set you apart from others and society. It's a way of refusing to play the games and speaks in the code that everyone else speaks on. And so what if we all did this. If the language of the ninth commandment suggest. The telling lies tears the fabric of relationship in community. Would truth-telling actually keep that fabric intact. Clearly not. At least not in the short-term if we all started telling the truth as we saw it about ourselves and others a lot of things would come unraveled. But maybe they would be the very thing that should come unraveled. And the things that survived to be the things that should survive. It would be a spiritually daring way of approaching life it would require the courage to let go of everything that wasn't grounded in reality. And the face. To trust that it would turn out okay. I'm reminded of the aphorism if you love something set it free. If it's yours and will come back to you. If it doesn't. It was never meant to be. The spiritual intensity of truth-telling has not been lost on religions over the ages. In many religious traditions truth-telling itself is a central spiritual practice. Telling the truth even when it's an inconvenient truth or a painful truth. Is seen as an essential part of being in sync with the universe. Sasha truthfulness is one of the eight pillars of hindu practice and one of the upanishads the sacred scriptures that is written. No virtue is greater than truthfulness. No sin greater than promoting untruth. It suggests that all other spiritual practices are meaningless. Unless they're grounded first. And truth-telling. What categorizes a practice of truth-telling as a kind of asceticism. In the christian tradition. The monks st. augustine also taught absolute honesty and he developed a whole taxonomy of kinds of lies. From least bad to worst. The worst kind of lie with spreading a false religious teaching. The least bad kind of lie with lying to save somebody's life. But in his view even this kind of a lie cuz we send. They're prohibitions against lying in both the hebrew bible and the new testament in the book of john jesus described lying as the devil's tongue. In the book of numbers balaam speaks as an oracle and says god is not a human being. Better chun-li. God is envisioned that the being who does not lie truthfulness is considered an ascetic spiritual practice and a tradition and lying is a sinful indulgence. Is a fascinating concept that truth-telling is an aesthetic practice. Asceticism eating a kind of extreme austerity foregoing of comfort stripping down to the bare essentials for the purpose of spiritual growth. And truth-telling is like this. In place of the comforts of our social games and codes by refusing to lie you're constantly reminding yourself and others that life is serious and short and we don't have time to be saying things that we don't mean. Hard enough. To say what you mean when you mean to say what do you mean. It's hard enough to really know somebody. And really be known by them when you are trying to be honest about who you are. Much less when you're spinning lies. By refusing to lie you stayed that we have a sacred connection to one another. Lion does soul damage to the liar. The lively. And the relationship between them. By refusing to lie you refuse to participate in that kind of soul damaged. It's definitely a no-frills way of living. So i challenge all of us to give it a try for one week. One week absolute truthfulness no lies. No misrepresentation. If you decide to conduct this experiment i would love to hear your experiences with it. It doesn't mean you should say everything that crosses your mind right we should heed the old warning always tell the truth but don't always be telling it. In other words don't go out of your way to say hurtful things. But if you want to do this experiment you can't mislead people either by your silence or by your words or by your actions with all of these great spiritual teachers are right it will truly be a spiritual practice. And i bet it will teach us a lot about ourselves i guarantee it will be hard to do even for a week. Because that's gloria steinem put it so beautifully the truth. Will set you free. The first. It will piss you off. Please rise and friday or spirit for our final him in the teal hymnal number 1017 we are building a new way.