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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  November 29, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EST

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how can we help you, captain? our warp core matrix compositor is fused. our navigational systems are disabled. if you could spare some micropower relays we should have the engines
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tell them to take along a dozen micropower relays. engine room... we gotot distress signal from a cardassian freighter. they'd just been attacked by the maquis. suffered some casualties. our sensnss confirmed what we were being told but when we lowered the shields to transport some of the wounded... the sensor readings had been faked. there were no cardassians on that freighter. the maquis had rigged it with a focused particle beam that punched through our gyro shielding and we lost helm control. by the time we got back our feet again three maququ raiders came out of the plasma field. well... it seems i couldn't get the job done either, captain. it's not over. i figured you'd be going after him. we have something that might be useful to you. we intercepted a coded message from one of eddington's raiders. maybe you can decode it. our computers are still down.
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of course. save me a seat at his court-martial. count on it. good hunting, captain. captain's log: supupemental. with thedefiant'scomputers still not fully operational we're relying on odo, back at deep space nine to decipher the maquis message. in the meantime, we're combing the d.m.z. encounter r th eddington but with each passing hour, our hopes are fading. sir, incoming transmission. it's odo. captain. odo, we need some good news around here. tell me that you have some. possibly. i've analyzed the maquis message. and? it appears to be a simple breen nursery rhyme. a heterophonic, five-line verse.
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( music playing) what does it mean? metrical analysis shows an alternating tetrametere but the computer could find no meaningful pattern in the words. they appear to be just what they are-- nonsensical phrases strung together because they rhyme-- at least to the breen. and the music? it's written on a lyxian scale. i ran it through the computer, too. no meaningful pattern. so we're nowhere? now, i wouldn't say that. "the best place to hide something is in plain sight." and since this is abreennursery rhyme... so you think that eddington is u ung the music as a signal for a rendezvous in the breen system? or a breen settlement like the one on portas five which isn't far from the d.m.z. the biogenic components of the weapons eddington's been using are very bulky and very unstable. they need to be kept
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and ififnyone knows how to keep things cold, it's the breen. thank you, odo. captain. mr. worf do we have a series of sensor relays near portas five? yes, sir. two class-five intelligigce drones. pull their sensor logs. i want to see who's been visiting the breen system. captain's log: supplemental. odo's huncnc has proven accurate. our intelligence drones detected a maquis freighter tering portas five three hours ago. the freighter was last seen headed into the dorvan sector of the d.m.z. considering the freighter's range, velocity and d ading eddington's next target is one of four cardassian colonies. but... these targets are unlikely. their defense systems were recently upgraded by the cardassians. hmm.
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at leaves only quatal and panora. quatal has a lucrative mining operation and their weapon systems arein the process of being upgraded targe but they're not fully operational. t. not as tempting as panora. the maquis attacked them two months ago. most of theiei defense systems were severely damaged. they're almost helpless. there are constant ion storms in that system-- good places to hide if you want to mount a surprise attack. a tactic eddington knows well. panoraisa more logical target than quatal then eddington will attack quatal. worf: sir? he likes being unpredictable. approaching quatal prime. slow to impulse power. full scan. activate parabolic sensor arrays. initiate lateral scanners. we're too late, captain. eddington's detonated his weapon. the nerve agent is already spreading through the planet's atmosphere.
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eddington's always one step ahead of us. maybe not this time. i'm reading residual neutrino levels. lookoklike one, maybe two maquis raiders behind the fourth moon. they're on the run. go aftft them. full impulse. on screen. shields up. charge phaser banks. worf: 15% plasas to the phaser banks. sisko: how long to intercept? 15 seconds. prepare to lock targets. hard to port. starboard thrusters, full. stick with this one, old man. they've locked phasers on us. power to forward shields. forward shields, on line. lock target. targeting scanners... synchronized. fire! sisko: helm, bring us about. one momo to go. sir, this one's making another run for the planet. i don't get it. they've already poisoned the atmosphere. more speed. engine room, bridge. more speed.
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they've disabled the transport. it's losing power. it's going down. can we beam the crew off? we're ououof transporter range. incoming transmission. well, javert... let's see how deep your obsession with me is. you've got me. i can't outrun or outfight thedefiant,but.t... if you come after me, you'll have to pay a price-- you'll have to let all those helpless cardassians spiral down to their deaths. the choice is yours. how long do they have? two minutes to impact. not much time. probably take you at least a minute to get back to the planet. they're just cardassians. (sighs) helm, bring us about.
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we've towed the transport ship out of the planet's gravitational pull.
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the cardassians can limp their way home in a day or two. les miserables? you know it? i can't stand victor hugo. i tried reading the hunchback of notre dame but i couldn't get through it. it wassosmelodramatic and his heroines are so two-dimensional. eddington compares me to one of the characters-- inspector javert-- a policeman who relentlessly pursues a man named valjean. guilty of a trivial offense. and in the end javert's own inflexibility destroys him. he commits suicide. you can't believe that description fits you. eddington is just trying to get u uer your skin.
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out this book is that eddington said that it's one of his favorites. there's no accccnting for taste. oh, let's think about it. a starfleet security officer is fascinated by a nineteenth-century french melodrama and now he's leader of the maquis-- a resistance group fightiti the noble battle against the "evil" cardassians. it sounds like he's living out his s n fantasy. -hmm. exactly. and you know what? les miserablesisn't about the policeman. it's about valjean-- the viviim of a monstrous injustice who spends his entiti life helping people making noble sacrifices for a...
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he's valjean. he's robin hood. he's a romantic, dashing figure fighting the good fight against insurmountable odds. the secrcr life of michael eddington. how does it help us? well, eddington is the hero of his own story. that makes me ththvillain and what is it that every hero wants to do? kill the bad guy. but heroes only kill when they have to. eddington could have killed me back at the refugee camp but in the best melodramas, the villain creates a situation where the hero is forced to sacrifice himself for the people, for the cause-- one final, grand gesture. what are you getting at, benjamin? i think it's time for me to become the villain.
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prepare two quantum torpedoes. have engineering attach a cargo pod with 200 kilograms of trilithium to each torpedo. yes, sir, but... but what? the extra mass of a cargo pod wiwi make the torpedo less effective. maquis raiders are small and maneuverable. i'm not planning to fire at any ships, mr. worf. major what is the nearest maquis colony? solosos three. less than an hour away. three. major, i want you to send the followowg message on all maquis frequencies: "to all the members of the maquis resistance. "this is captain sisko of the u.s.s.defiant. "in response to the maquis' use of biogenic weapons "in their recent attacks "i am about to take the following acacon: "in one hour, i will detonate two quantum torpedoes "that will scattererrilithium resin into the atmosphere
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table "to all human life for the next fifty years. i suggest evacuation plans begin immediately." what are you waiting for, people? carry out your orders. set torpedo target to fifty kilometers above ground level. lock. ready, captain. time? one minute left. still no transport ship activity or sign they're beginning to evacuate. commander worf prepare to fire torpedoes on my mark. detach safeties ononorpedoes one and two. incoming transmission.
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what are you really up to, javert? do you expect me to believe that a decorated starfleet officer-- the pride of the service-- is going to poison an entire planet? that's exactly what i'm going to do. you're bluffing. am i? commander, launch torpedoes. commander, i said launch torpedoes. aye, sir. kira: the trtrithium resin is dissipating throughout the biosphere. the maquis are starting to evacuate. do you realize what you've done? sisko: i've only just begun.
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into homeless refugees. that's right. that the maquis have become an intolerable threat to the security of the federation and i am going to eliminate that threat. but think about those people you saw in the caveses. they didn't attack themalinche. you should have thought about that before you attacked a federation starship. helm, lay in a course for tracken two, warp six. commander, prepare two more torpedoes. engine room, bridge. set t urse 050 mark 179. ...on torpedoes three and four. can't you see what's happening to you? you're going against everything you claim to believe in. and for what? to satisfy a personal vendetta? you betrayed your uniform. and you're betraying yoursrs right now. the sad part is, you don't even realize it. i feel sorry for you, captain.
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commander worf prepare to launch torpedoes. wait! if... you call off your attack i'll turn over all our biogenic weapons. not enough. all right, javert. i'll give you what you want... me.
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the cacaassian and maquis colonists who were forced to abandon their homes will make new lives for themselves on the planets their counterparts evacuated. balance in the region will be restored though the situation remains far from stable. captain. commander. welcome home. it's good to be back. i gather your trip was productive. constable. odo: this way. benjamin, i'm curious. your plan to poison the maquis planets-- you u dn't clear it with starfleet first, did you? i knew i'd forgotten to do something. ah. big gamble. that's what it takes to be a good villain.
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[captioning sponsored by paramount television and the u.s. department of education
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( chuckles ) we shouldn't be here. don't worry. nobody saw us leave. ( both grunt ) hey, i need that. what if somebody tries to call? shh. mmm...
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don't worry. come here. ( chuckling ) ( pantingg) [captioning spspsored by paramount television united paramount network
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captain's log, supplemental: after two weeks we're close to repairing the varro's warp drive. i'm starting to think they'd rather give up warp travel than accept help from strangersrs. i thought we agreed central control would be off-limits. that technology's classified. we have to reconfigure the assembly ifife're going to finish this job. consider it finished. we've come this far...
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i've yet to see any results. you might check the antimatter injectors. back on-line. all l u need now is a jolt of antimatter from voyager's engines and you'll be back in business but t need access to your warp assembly. you knkn, i can understand why you're distrustful of other species. frankly, we've had a rough time in the delta quadrant ourselves but our two species have made remarkable progress working together to repair your engines. r opening hails. leles not throw all that away. i'll admit we do share some things in common. we're both on long journeys, looking for allies. in many ways, we're like cousins. "cousins"? well, distant cousins-- think about it. 400 years ago you started out the same way we did-- a single starship, a small crew facingnghe unknown and now, centuries later you've grown into a generational ship
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when i look at your vessel, i can't help but wonder if i'm seeing voyager's future. our journey could easily last several generations. so, what do you say... cousin? you can access the warp assembly from here. thank you. status? their plasma cououings are on-line. we're ready for the antimatter transfer. then let's get started. janeway to voyagege status? ready here, captain. initiate the transfer. jippeq: warp reactors one through 14 are coming on-line. it's working. keep your fingers crossed. for luck.
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the interstellar vacuum might get a little chilly. what? oh. funny. come back to bed. i can't sleep. cuddle. i can't cuddle. i told you we're not going to get caught. if someone had seen us, they would've reported it by now. i'm violating about half a dozen regulations by just being in this room, and what we did earlier... i don't know if starfleet even has a regulation for that. what are you saying? making love is a crime in your culture? yes! no. what i'm saying is it's a breach of protocol. how romantic. the captain instructed all away teams-- no personal interaction with the varro crew. i violated a direct order. come bacacto bed. that's an order.
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no. only me. ( rumbling ) the warp engines. they started the plasma transfer. we got to get down there. we're lala. ( chuckles ) what are you waiting for? to see what you look like in my uniform. ( rueful chuckling ) ( chuckles ) you don't understand. if i'm not at my post... ...you'll be executed. funny. better go in separately. ( sighs ) impressive. just trying to orchestrate the antimatter flow. you should try some chopin when you're done. look who showed up for the final movement. excuse me? just a little late for the joke as well as the job. i was checking the manifolds in segment 22.
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warp reaction's destabilizing. tal? i can't find the problele we're less than a minute away from multiple core breaches. abort the transfer. so much for finger crossing. b'elanna. i'm m ading microfractures all over the hull. why couldn't we detect that before? good question. we'll have to check the hulls on each of your vessel's segments. the sooner we start,t,t. friendly people. they've had a lot of bad experiences with other species. i don't know. it seems like your first contact went pretty well. what's that supposed to mean? just wondering where you disappeared to today. i told you. i was checking the plasma conduits... ...in "segment 22." i know. they must have sonic showers over there.
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you are such a lousy liar. haven't you learned anything from me after five years? she's cute. who? that assistant engineer, tal. cute enough. oh, here we go again. what?! you. going after impossible women-- a hologram, an ex-borg, the wrong twin and now a girl from a xenophobic species? you're right. you're absolutely right. i'm putting her out of my mind. i promise. good. glad to hear it. i'm due back on the bridge. see you in the morning. computer, open a channel to varro ship, segment 16 station 204. encode transmission with security protocol alpha seven. channel open. what took you so long? i've been waiting 22 minutes for you to call. i was testing myself seeing how long i could resist calling you. and?
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complimented or insnsted? since this is the first chance i've had to open a com-link... complimented. so... you liked what happened. yeah. a lot. enough to try it again? absolutely, but i've got to be honest. i wasn't expecting something so... different. neither was i. our species look so similar... surface. i would've never guessed when it came down to the basics... well, let's just say the birds and bees will be very confused. "the birdsdsnd bees." paris: i'm telling you you should take a look at their database. they've got some pretty amazing stuff on that ship. stuff. well, their environmental control systems, for instance-- it's completely regenerative. zero waste. impressive. it can be programmed to create
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in your quarters with that system. why would i want to? a little taste of home in the delta quadrant? springtime on the shores of lake yarren. i require a desk and a bed, nothing more. no, you're missing the point. no doubt. these people have been traraling for 400 years. they've learned a thing or two about liling comfortably. our systems are more than adequate. ( frustrated groan ) i give up. tuvoc, how do you do it? i wait until his own illogic overwhelel him. ( laughs ) i'm detecting an unauthorized transmission. origin? unknown. it's been encoded. findndut where it's going. where would you most like to be right now? besides your quarters? besides my quauaers. on a distant moon where the air is warm and the gravity is light.
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, i can almost fly. i like that. what about you? where would you most w wt to be right now? besides your cabin? ( chuckleses) besides my cabin. sorry. i can't come up with anything better than your cabin. and what would you do if you were here? now? this very moment. i'd ask you to dim the lights. and what if i said no? okay. so, we leave the lights on. the message e s been sent to the varro ship. segment 16. living quarters. uh, commander? i think i can track that down for you. hold on. something's'srong. i'm losing the signal. ( communications static ) tal?
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if it was a transmission. could have just been a glitch in the com system. run a diagnostic. finding the source of these structural problems isn't going to be easy. they've scanned most of their ship and come up empty. i'm hoping w wll do a better job. we should form smaller teams to maximize efficiency. agreed. we'll work in pairs. now, what i'd like to do is start with the reactor room where we first detected the problem then move on to the surrounding segments... you owe me. what? eyes front. last night i had to sabotage the com system to cover your tracks. you called her, didn't you? guilty. trut how long has this been going on? h. from the moment we first saw each other. it was like touching an open plasma relay. hmm. sounds serious. maybe it is. has it occurred to youog a few dozen protocols? we know what we're getting into. chakotay: dismissed. do you? our duty assignment.
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teams alpha and gamma have finished scanning sections one through 64. kiki of puts a borg cube to shame, doesn't it? the vessel's technology is impressive but its construction is haphazard. i guess they sort of improvised as they went along. seven, you've been around humans for a while now. what do you think about love? i don't see the relevance. just cururus. parental love, romantic love affection between friends. specify. romantic love. an attraction based on sexual desire the wrong person when it facilitates procreation. . not at all. the borg have referenced this condition in over 6,000 assimilated species.
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a striking similarity to disease. a series of biochemical responses that trigger an emotional cascade impairing normal functioning. forget it. are you in love, ensign? i guess that's what i've been askingngyself. ( gasps ) you're glowing. i beg your pardon? your epidermis luminesced. huh... must be the lighting in here. no, it was you. ( gasping ) you should report to sick bay. it's nothing.
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lie still. i feel fine. no doubt you're feeling wonderful. your beta endorphins are abnormalal elevated. really? you spent a lot of time on the generational ship. dodoou recall coming into contact with any toxins? antimatter radiation? a biological agent? no. did you consnse any of their cuisine? no. doctor, there is unusual synaptic activity in his cerebral cortex. no kidding. this could be the work of an alien virus. we'll have to initiate full quararaine protocols. inform the captain and request a bio-alert. wait. there's no need for that. i can explain. i'm listening.
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the doctor may rereire my assistance. there isn't and he won't. please. lala night, i had an... encounter with one of the varro. encounter? a... personal encounter. specifically? sex. we had sex. you had intimate contact with an alien species without medical clearance? it was in the heat of the moment. i didn't think anything like this would happen. correction. if you'd been thinking you would have considered the risks and exerciseserestraint. sit down.
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do we have to drag her into this? it is my medical responsibility which, i'm sorry to say, also r ruires me to report this to the captain. i expected more from you. i'm sorry. i don't know what i was thinking. don't you? i've seen tal. she's an impressive young woman, beautiful but that's no excuse yes, ma'am. there's a reason you took a semester of interspecies protocol at the academy. there's also a reason why the handbook on personal relationships is three centimeters thick. "all starfleet personnel must "obtain authorization from their c.o. "as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species." bravo. unfortunately your recitation comes a little late. according to the doctor
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but i do agree with his recommendation to run full bioscans on both you and tal and her people need to be told so they can evaluate any bio-threat you might've introduced earn their trust into their population. . i was even hoping they might return the favory their insights into long-term space travel opardy. permission to speak freely. with all due respect... this wasn't a fling. i've really gotten to know tal and i've developed true feelings for her. noted. but there are regulations, and you've broken them. i'm entering a formal reprimand into your record and i'm ordering you to breakakff this relationship.
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yes, ma'am. dismissed. commander, i wanted to share a few security concerns. a few days ago i noticeced some mess hall supplies had disappeared-- liquid nutriments, emergency rations nothing to warrant a red alert, but... i took the liberty of investigating on my own. take a look at this. tor is hardly a felony. it wasn't just unauthorized. someone accessed the ship's environmental controls from that station. life support wasasouted to jeffries tube g-33, deck 15. isn't that section normally uninhabited? whoever did this encoded the procedure
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it appears we have intruders. it looks like a varro scanning device. breathable oxygen is confined to this chamber and the area immediately behind this hatch. stand back. ( panting ) ( door beeping ) come in. work? no. i'm just tormenting myself with what-ifs. what if i had the chance ange sensors go there instead of just squinting ? too far off your course, huh? too close to an inhabited planet. "they might make contact with us." "it's too dangerous." it's always the same thing. the mighty generational ship.
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rent but that's going to change. i'm afraid i've got some bad news. i, uh... i can't see you anymore. captain's orders. how did she find out? something happened to me this morning. i had a strange sensation that shouldn't have happened. our species are too dissimilar. what shouldn't have happenened? we call it olan'vora... "the shared heart." when two of us merge... you know the biological connection we had last night? it becomes stronger. it wonon hurt you, harry but it will change you.
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bring us closer. so, can this process bebeeversed? in time... if we stay away from each other but if we don't... the more we're together the harder it will b b to stop it. but then, you have your orders. orders. it's an old story. g side of the galaxy. boy loses girl. and girl loses boy. it's not like we dididt know this was going to end. at least we had two weeks. two great weeks. good-bye, harry.
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if that's what you want. it's not. oh, harry... chakotay: welclce aboard. normally we like to know something about our guests before we invite them to join us. care to tell us how you got here? through a docking port. your entry would have triggered an intruder alert. your technology is easy to circumvent. it doesn't matter how i got here. i'm not going back. that remains to be seen. you haven't explained your reasons for leaving the generational ship. i'm not a criminal if that's what you think. if yououeave me at the next inhabited system i'll manage from there. your next stop is the brig unless you answer my questions. i came aboard four days ago with one of the work details. why? our ship's not the paradise
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ers, and... others who... continue. there are... rumors of a movement... people who want to leave the ship. some of them are willing to take violent action. can you be more specific? this is a trick. tuvok: is this a trick? you're trying to get me to expose the movement. our leaders put you up to this. on the contrary. we haven't even told them we found you. you're lying. i don't have time for a debate. you asked for asylum, fine. i'll consider it but only if you answer my questions. what movement? contact the varro authorities. let thth know we've found one of their people and take him to the brig.
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learn anything about the supposed uprising? jippeq said the rumors are just that-- rumors-- but he's questionini our stowaway just to be certain. new protocols for working with the varro. after the incident with ensign kim they insisted we keep our crews segregated. that's pretty severe. harry violated protocol. frankly, i understand their position. is that why you came down so hard on him? a formal reprimand for being intimate with a young woman?
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but i wanted to leave a lasting impression. chalk it up to growing pains. well, he looks pained, all right. until now, he's had a spotless record. maybe you should reconsider. what are you implying? are you angry because harry disobeyed orders or because he let you down? i set the same standards for all my officers. ns you'll hear me out... even insist i speak up. you're my first officer. he's an ensign. he hasn't earned the right to question my orders whatever his personal views. i see. engineering to the captain. yes? we found something. on my way. do your officers make a habit of seducing the species they encounter? certrtnly not, but it's my understanding that this relationship was consensual. i find that difficict to believe. we don't share your cavalier attitude toward intimacy. our attitude is anything but cavalier. ensign kim has already been reprimanded.
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when two people choose each other, the bonding is permanent. they become biochemically lilied. separation is rare. it induces illness, sometimes fatal. what's to become of tal when your ensign flies off in search of his next conquest? torres: captain. janeway: you found something? we've detected microfractures in one of voyager's docking ports. that's the same problem we've been having. a coincidence? i had suspicions that it wasn't. seven confirmed them. observe. silicon- based parasites which feed on duranium alloys. apparently, they began replicating on the varro ship's hull several months ago and then migrated to voyager. we analyzed them and found artificial gene sequences. the parasites are synthetic. they may have been created by someone aboard your vessel. sabotage? i don't believe it. perhaps not everyone
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( communications beep ) kim: tal, you there? harry? i can't keep this com-link open. where are you? by my computer. okay. get ready for a ride. i'm locking on. a ride? ( gasps ) a shuttlecraft. shuttlecraft? we use it for away missions. we can go anywhere we want? anywhere. for a while anyway. i'm not due back on voyager until 1900 hours. they think i'm still out repairing a hull fracture. i finished early. ( both laughing ) you're a fugitive now. how many protocols did you break this time? let's see...
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kidnapping... direct violation of the captain's orders... i must be crazy. i like you crazy. navigation? oh, careful. that's the weapons array. you know, you almost vaporized your living quarters. ( laughs ) well, they could use a good cleaning. let's go somewhere. where? there's a nebula about 300,000 kilometers from here. i've been watching it on the sensors for the past few days. oh, i would love to see it with my own eyes. have a seat. look at this-- a subspace vacuole near the center of the cloud. it must act as a gravitational anchor. there's so much data here
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do you have a storage device? we need to download these readings. what? i've just never seen anyone so excited about a class-three nebula before. maybe you've been taking them for granted. maybe i have. don't stop. you're beautiful when you're scanning. is that what you say to every girl you take for a ride? i bet you've left a trail of broken hearts across the delta quadrant. ( beeping ) actually... problem? stray radiation from the nebula. i thought it was a proximity alarm. you said we had a couple of hours. no one's going to come looking for us. oh, you don't know commander tuvok. if he sees one electron out of place he calls for red alert. ( laughing ) ( frustrated sigh )
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those things are important. i think about them, too. but sometimes you need to follow a different kind of protocol. if you believe in something strongly enough you can't ignore it... even if it means breaking a few rules. that's why i took this shuttle decompress but every time i break a rule . i'm like some kind of... borg drone-- except i was designed to be the perfect starfleet officer. top of his class... captain of the velocity team, interstellar honors. first field assignment-- bridge officer on a starship. every cadet's dream come true. you're not a program. in fact, i envy your freedom. i mean, your crew's mission-- totoeek out life... what could be more liberating?

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