tv ET Entertainment Tonight NBC November 29, 2016 7:30pm-8:00pm EST
( banjos playing ) well! hey, mr. darling. how are you? hey, there, charlene. a lot of pollywogs is frogs since last we laid eyes on you. well, it's nice to see you, too. hey, boys. easy, boys. you know, every time we come to town they just get all het up. yeah, they're a wild bunch. boy, you're here early.
now you made us put lights on the truck. it sure beats having doug out there on the hood holding out a lantern. he's always complaining about bugs hitting him. then he'd get acting cute and fall off about every other chuckhole. yeah, that doug's a caution. what brings you to town this time? well, sheriff, we... what i got to tell you is private. uh, goob... don't you have something to do? no, not a thing, andy. you got big ears, ain't you? rs. boy, like the sheriff said, you got things to do. well, yeah. i have. i'll, i'll see you, goob. well? now, this is just 'twixt us. oh, i wouldn't say anything. cross your heart, hope to jump a stump? yes, i do. well, sheriff...
land to the mayberry county government for $300. ( whistles ) american. just come to town to pick up the money. well, how am i going to talk to rich folks like you? sheriff, we want you to treat us just like before. just like we was poor folks, like yourself. okey-doke. oh, and that ain't all. now that we come into a fortune and can afford to feed a few extra mouths i'm going to get my boys here married. no kidding. . each and every one of 'em is going to get himself nuptialed. you know, they've been just like a bunch of caged lions since i told 'em. especially rodney, there. he's, uh... jittery. oh, i can see. you know what? with all this happening to the darling family we ought to have a celebration. if you're talking about some of miss bee's cooking, you're on.
and you meet me at my house at 12:00. good, that'll give me time to get the boys curried up. make up some music there to cover the engine noise. get out of the way yonder! see you at the house. ( banjos playing ) no, plenty. plenty. well, miss bee, you sure ain't lost your touch with a skillet. tell me something-- what was that thing you had laying there 'twixt the taters and the black-eyed peas? the steak? mouthwatering. i got to learn what kind of animal you chopped that off of. and them muffins, pa. we got to get the recipe. they was larrupin'. how about a tune? want to pick along, sheriff? you like "salty dog"? "salty dog's" good. give me my jug, rodney. now, you boys take the main tune and i'll kind of gargle out the trimmings. watch it, you lunkhead.
one, two, one. ? standing on the corner with the low-down blues ? ? a great big hole in the bottom of my shoes ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? ? let me be your salty dog ? ? or i won't be your gal at all ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? ? look here, sal, i know you ? ? a rundown stocking and a wore-out shoe ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? ? let me be your salty dog ? ? or i won't be your gal at all ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? ? down in the wildwood, sitting on a log ?
? let me be your salty dog ? ? or i won't be your gal at all ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? ? i pulled the trigger and the gun let go ? ? i heard the shot in mexico ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? ? let me be your salty dog ? ? or i won't be your gal at all ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog ? once more! ? let me be your salty dog ? ? or i won't be your gal at all ? ? honey, let me be your salty dog. ? the boys are going to get married. it certainly is. now that they got $300 in back of 'em outside of their natural charms, of course. but we're going to take it step by step. first off, i'm going to find a wife for dean there. uh... that's going to take a bit of doing. he's too short. the only short one i ever foaled.
of wives for the boys right up there in the mountains. mountains? with $300? i want city girls for my boys. that's the main reason we come to mayberry. you mean to tell me that you've come down here into town to find wives for those boys? why not? nice boys like i got. take mitch there. strong as an ox and almost as bright and can do his sums, up to and including three. but, but, briscoe-- and he's pretty, too. look at them fine, chiseled features. chisel hit him right here. well, uh... they're, they're, they're fine boys. now, i'm not questioning that but you, you can't just just swoop down into town and find wives just like that. well, sheriff, we don't expect to rush into anything. good. might take the rest of the day.
five or six. not the way we operate. we'll just go down there on main street and wait for them female hearts to start fluttering. everybody on the truck. uh, charlene, uh, you best stay here. well, uh... i don't want her to be alone whilst we're down there on main street bird-dogging it. might not be lady-like. well, mister, mr. darling, um... uh, mister, uh... i, uh, i've got to go. i've got to go, i've got to, i've got to find goober. am i allowed to arrest them, too? oh, no, no. just follow them around. if they bother anybody, come and tell me. yo. well? well, you promised me a badge. here. there. very nice, goober. well, go on. right... chief.
they sound like a wild bunch. you never met 'em, did you? no. well, you better know they're a wild bunch. oh, maybe they just have their own ways. you ever try talking to a stone wall? i'm telling you, briscoe darling is serious about finding wives for those boys here in mayberry and he thinks he's got four rock hudsons there. well, good luck. okay. i better get back to school. unless, of course you want to sign me in as your deputy. i've run out of badges. tonight. take a point to the right here, boys. got to agree with you-- too skinny. likely to be sickly.
you're for certain right. too big a mouth to feed. well? they moved over to elm street and set there for an hour and ten minutes. then they stood in front of the diner for another hour and they moved over to the park... i don't care where they went, goober. did they bother anybody? they just ogled girls. ( door opening ) sheriff? what? just come by to give you my sympathies. what for? i sure understand why you're still a single man. the pickings in this town is mighty slim. not one female we saw come up to muster. oh, well, i'm sure sorry to hear that, briscoe.
goober! what was you saying, big ear? make him quit calling me big ear. what, uh, what-what goober was trying to say is that it is true that when you're trying to find a girl here in mayberry it's pretty slim pickings. you can sure say that again. we're going back up to the hills and take another look at that crop. yeah, that's a good idea. got to go pick up charlene and say farewell to miss aunt bee. see you next year, sheriff. i'll see you! miss bee, i sure do want to thank you for that fine lunch. you're always welcome, briscoe. all of you are. what do you say to miss bee, boys? oh, it was nothing. charlene, do you see what i see? aunt bee: it's an owl. not just an owl, ma'am, that's an omen and we couldn't of been hankering for a better one right now. really?
that's right, ma'am, you get your pick. any one of these fine, upstanding boys is yours for a life of wedded bliss. will you please just get out of my way? mr. darling, you stop all this nonsense and leave her alone. i was kind of hoping you'd cotton up to dean here. rodney here-- he's a fun-loving one and doug over there is kind of tall... mr. darling! please, miss bee. i appreciate your help but let the lady decide for herself.
in marrying any of your sons. nobody said anything about right now. the courtship's going to take at least two days. then whichever one finds your heartstrings, he's yours. mr. darling! sheriff! i got me a new sister-in-law! we finally got us a bride. what are you talking about? the owl made the match. the owl? omen they saw. silly? if you're looking for a bride and you see an owl at day the next female you come across has stole your heart away. andy, do something! look, it so happens that miss crump... miss crump? society, eh? oh! look, she, uh... she... she's not interested in any of your boys. well, it's fitting that a girl do a little balking. she wouldn't be a lady
it so happens that miss crump is my girl. steady, boys. your girl? yes. well, sheriff, that comes a surprise. why, you're a good friend and all that and i hate to take your girl away from you but an omen is an omen. andy?! briscoe... i ain't got time to talk to you now. i got to run the boys through a creek a couple of times to get them ready to come a-courtin'. i'll see you later. oh, andy, do something. ( engine starting ) now, briscoe, i've told you once and i'm telling you again. miss crump is my girl and if you don't stay away from her i'm going to arrest you! now, you remember that! and we mean it! well, what do you think will happen? i don'..
well, i'll tell you one thing. they're not going to get any more of my muffins. if we could just reason with them but people that live by omens and witchcraft and stuff like that-- you just can't get through to them. gomer: andy! what? andy! andy! andy, they're back. they're back. where? over at helen's. ( groaning ) ? there is a time for us to wander ? ? when time is young and so are we ? ? the woods are greener over yonder ? ? the path is new, the world is, too ? ( bluegrass break ) well, howdy, there, sheriff. briscoe! doin' a little serenading, give her some idea of the beautiful music that's going to fill her life from now on. i thought i told you to stay away from her. don't get riled.
you just listen to me. now, sheriff, i'm sorry that miss crump used to be your girlfriend, but i don't know why a reasonable man like yourself can't understand that seein' that owl in the daytime sealed her fate and the only thing that can unseal it is a counter-omen and that would be seein' another owl in the daytime which ain't likely. why don't you get on the truck and go up in the mountains and find one? that don't count. uh, where you going? going to tell her good-bye? he's going to tell miss crump good-bye, boys so play a little sprightly music to cover up the sobbin'. ( rollicking bluegrass ) well, do you hear what's going on out there? yes. as loud as they can get?
say something. give me an opening. all right, you've got an opening. now, what are you going to do? i don't know. you beat everything. you just beat everything. well, i threatened to arrest them. i threatened to throw them in jail and all he keeps doing is telling me how i ought to be reasonable, how the owl is an omen, and how a marriage between you and one of his boys is destiny and the only thing that will cancel it is a counter-omen, which is seeing another owl in the daytime, and i... w-wait. what? wait right here. just wait right here. but where you going? just wait right here. wait. nearly 9:00-- they ought to be along any minute. goober: well, i hope so. are you all set? set as i'll ever be. now, remember what i told you.
i got you. ( car approaching ) that sounds like them. it is. all right, get covered with branches. right there. i, uh, just want to make sure you're not blocking the driveway. hey, charlene. sheriff, where's this license thing you was tellin' us about? it's in town. it's in town, but listen. it just happens that aunt bee has brought some of those good muffins t off the fire. want some? that's a good idea. boys! boys! now, you be nice. okay, goober. b-but i had a half a muffin left. well, you can eat the rest of them on the way uptown. oh, uh, miss bee, uh, i sure wish you'd write out the receipt for them muffins.
u say you don't put no sour mash in 'em? no. it's an old family recipe. we'd better go to the courthouse and get the license. some other time. hey, look. pa, it's an owl. the second owl in the daytime. that's a counter-omen. it means only one thing-- that miss crump really ain't the perfect mate after all. looky there. i never seen an owl fly that way. went straight up, without so much as a fluttering of a wing. it's gone. b-but it was an owl. oh, definitely an owl. oh, yeah, it was an owl. i ain't too sure. now, there's a lot of strange birds flying down from the north lately-- brands i ain't never seen before. what do you think, boys? well, i got to agree with you. before we call off this here marrying i'd like another look at that there owl.
he might fly back again. briscoe: he's there again. look at the way he's a-flying. he's upside down. he's got to be from out of state. there's no question, briscoe. no other bird looks quite like an owl. aunt bee: no other bird looks like an owl. there he goes. he's gone. it's an owl's own business the way he flies. the important thing is we saw the counter-omen. miss crump's going to be awful broke up about this. i'm sorry about that, sheriff, but we just can't take no chances. now, you tell that miss crump lady that rodney will always hold a soft spot in his heart for her. come on, boys. yeah, well.
hey. what you doing up there, big ears? i just like to climb trees. well, there's a crazy owl flying around somewhere so watch out. tell miss crump that i'm sorry she lost out on the boys. make up some kind of a story. let her down easy, you know. see ya. right. bye. ( playing bluegrass ) bye, sheriff.