tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC March 1, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST
[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- carson daly, from "the last man on earth," actress kristen schaal, music from nad surf, featuring the 8g band with patrick carney. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ]
night. [ cheers and applause ] i thought chris rock did an incredible job hosting. give it up for chris rock, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] not an easy job hosting the oscars. he was fantastic. you guys, let's get to the news. leonardo dicaprio won the first oscar of his career last night for his leading role in "the revenant." all night long, beautiful woman were coming up to him asking, 'can i hold it?" and then he won the oscar. [ laughter ] the long awaiting primary event super tuesday is tomorrow. "yeah? well, so is 'ncis,'" yelled jeb bush. [ laughter ] "there's a lot of stuff happening on tuesday!" [ laughter ] according to the new cnn national poll, donald trump has increased his lead among the republican field and is now up to 49% support. but remember, it's a cnn poll so
[ laughter ] donald trump recently said that backstage at the debates it looks like marco rubio applies his make up with a trowel which is surprising critique from a man who applies his makeup by standing outside the cheetos explosion. [ laughter and applause ] when asked this weekend why he retweeted a quote by fascist dictator benito mussolini, donald trump told reporters, "i want to be associated with interesting quotes." which i gotta say, is a pretty interesting quote. [ laughter ] a quote that he falsely attributed to mahatma gandhi, and here it is. [ laughter ] >> seth: come on, there's no way. he should know better. [ laughter ] producers have announced the upcoming "star wars" sequel will excuse me for a second.
c-3po. [ laughter ] that's right, the upcoming "star wars" sequels will probably contain gay characters. said yoda, "experiment in college, i did." [ laughter ] and finally, according to a new study, less than half of young men heard of emergency contraception like the morning after pill. morning after pill, but they were long gone by then. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is the hardest working man in show business. from nbc's "the voice," "today show," and "last call," carson daly is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] she is a fantastically talented actress, a very funny person, she's one of the stars of fox's "the last man on earth, kristen schaal is back on "late night" tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from the wonderful band, nada surf. so it's a great show. [ cheers and applause ] i'm looking forward to getting
but before we get to all of that, donald trump is poised to win big on super tuesday tomorrow, and he got a big boost friday when new jersey governor chris christie endorsed him. but he's also come under fire for declining to disavow the support of white supremacists. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: with polls showing trump well ahead in most of tomorrow's primaries, it's now or never for his opponents, specifically marco rubio, to take a stand. but instead of attacking trump on substance, rubio tried to beat trump at his own game. which led to the whitest round of snaps ever played. [ laughter ] >> he's flying around on hair force one and tweeting. >> i go back and i see him with makeup, and it's like he's putting on with a trowel. >> trump likes to sue people, he should sue whoever did that to his face. >> he has really large ears, the biggest ears i've ever seen. >> he's taller than me, he's like 6'2", which is why i don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who's 5'2." have you seen his hands?
they're like this. and you know what they say about men with small hands -- [ audience ohs ] you can't trust them. [ laughter ] >> seth: when you make a dick joke on the campaign trail -- you're the dick. [ laughter and applause ] also, remember when trump insulted john mccain's war record and it seemed like the worst thing a candidate could possibly say? what's happening now makes that seem like a soft burn from the dowager countess. [ laughter ] so the presidential race has essentially become a schoolyard fight. and that may explain why the original schoolyard bully decided last week to wade in, chris christie. >> there is no one who is better prepared to provide america with the strong leadership that it needs, both at home and around the world than donald trump. >> seth: we make a lot of fun of new jersey as being state of air pollution and weird smells but the reality is it also supports
and, it is there, in that farm setting that you can best find the words to describe chris christie's endorsement of donald trump -- chicken-[ bleep ]. [ laughter ] because it is hard to find an act of political opportunism and self-interest as brazen as this one. because these are actual things chris christie said about trump before. >> i just don't think he's suited to be president of the united states. >> why? >> i don't think his temperament is suited for that, and i don't think his experience is. what you need is a president who's had the experience and the know how to do this and not someone who's just gonna talk off the top of their head. i just don't believe that the skills that your talking about that donald has -- >> okay. >> -- are transferable to a governmental setting, i just don't. these times and these challenges demand a grownup. we are not electing an entertainer-in-chief. >> seth: that's right, "we're not electing an entertainer-in-chief." which is why chris christie endorsed the guy who just did this. >> it's rubio! [ cheers ] that's what it is.
>> seth: it's like he's playing a game of a-hole charades. [ laughter ] now, many republicans were shocked that christie chose to endorse trump over a more establishment candidate like rubio. but it turns out christie had a reason for not backing rubio. according to the "new york times," rubio left christie a voice mail message seeking mr. christie's support. but made the mistake of assuring christie that he had, quote, "a bright future in public service." and that was a mistake because christie, 53, took the message as deeply disrespectful and patronizing questioning why a 44-year-old was telling him about his future. [ laughter ] to be fair, he's an old 44. i mean, he did leave a voice mail. [ laughter ] grandma. grandma. grandma. rubio? [ laughter ] but christie knew trump would never disrespect him like that, at least not until the first chance trump had, which was after a rally in texas on friday. >> get in the plane and go home. >> you got it. >> it's over there. you go home.
go home and get your [ bleep ] shine box. [ laughter and applause ] but christie wasn't the only endorsement trump received last week. because david duke, the former grand wizard of the kkk, also voiced support for trump. now most candidates for public office would instantly renounce support from the former leader of the kkk or any wizard. [ laughter ] but when trump was asked about duke, he gave this evasive answer. >> will you unequivocally condemn david duke and say that you don't want his vote or that of other white supremacists in this election? >> well just so you understand, i don't know anything about david duke, okay? i don't know anything about what you're even talking about with white supremacy or white supremacists. if you would send me a list of the groups i will research them and certainly i would disavow if i thought there was something wrong. >> seth: they're white supremacists. [ laughter ] there's something wrong. something supremely wrong. of course, in classic trump fashion, he backtracked on his cnn comments today by blaming them on technical difficulties.
florida with a very bad ear piece that they gave me. and you could hardly hear what he was saying. >> seth: he said david duke and the ku klux klan? i thought he said daisy duke and the wu-tang clan. [ laughter ] and i will not disavow the wu-tang clan. [ applause ] of course, trump has disavowed david duke and the kkk now. because he's already accomplished what he's set out to. even racists know you have to pretend not to be racist in public. trump lets just enough racism slip that racists can listen to him and think, "oh, yeah. he's our guy." [ laughter ] but as bad as that was, that wasn't the only shocking thing trump said this weekend. because at a rally on friday he also proposed dangerous new limits on the first amendment and freedom of the press. >> i'm going open up our libel laws so when they write purposely negative and horrible and false articles, we can sue them and win lots of money. >> seth: sue newspapers and make lots of money? well i got bad news for you, pal.
[ laughter ] that's like suing radioshack or mc hammer. [ laughter ] so trump wants to make america great again by ripping up the thing that made america great in the first place, the constitution. now you might ask, "would he really do that?" well perhaps a clue lies in how many times trump has praised other actual dictators who have also restricted freedom of speech in their country. >> why are you so comfortable praising vladimir putin? you've called him a strong leader. >> i mean, i think he is a strong leader. i mean, you would like me to call him a weak leader. he's a strong leader. saddam hussein killed terrorists. he would kill. there were no terrorists. he would kill them immediately. he didn't do it politically correct. he found a terrorist, they were gone within five seconds, okay? if you look at north korea, this guy, this -- i mean, he's like a maniac, okay? and you gotta give him credit. how many young guys, he was like 26 or 25 when his father died, take over these tough generals and all of the sudden -- you know, it's pretty amazing when you think of it. how does he do that? he goes in, he takes over and he's the boss.
>> the best thing about is even when donald trump's praising kim jong-un, he's also burning him for being short. [ laughter ] but trump's praise for dictators is actually very telling because that's all trump cares about, power. and judging by his skin he's almost full, it is time to unplug him. [ laughter ] his campaign long ago went from entertaining to scary. it's kinda like the movie "snakes on a plane." sure, the idea is entertaining, but an actual snake on your actual plane would be terrifying. [ laughter ] and that's what's happening now. the plane is american democracy and the snake is trump. and right now all sane people everywhere are saying this -- >> i have had it with these mother[ bleep ] snakes on this mother[ bleep ] plane. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we feel you, sam jackson. we all feel you. this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you guys it's very exciting. this year for leap day, american express has been giving you a few more minutes of your nbc
now it's our turn with more "late night" sponsored by the blue cash everyday card by american express. and i'm very happy that we have this extra time, that we don't have to go to commercial because as many of you know the oscars were last night. and "mad max: fury road" cleaned up. anybody here see "mad max: fury road?" [ cheers and applause ] six academy awards and i was -- i felt sort of pride for that but also bittersweet pride for me. because i, you guys don't know this, i was actually in that movie. they cut my scene. [ light laughter ] so i was proud but also, you know, it hurt my feelings that i wasn't in it. i guess, according to the director, my scene, the reason they cut it was i wasn't mad enough. [ laughter ] but he did send us the clip. so thank you to george miller for sending this cut scene from
[ cheers ] >> what's going on? >> gear up. immortan joe is sending us to gas town. >> gas town! >> by our deeds we honor him! v-8! [ chanting v-8 ] [ grunting ] >> seth: hey, hey, hey! i'm sorry, but could we maybe just pump the brakes? not to put a damper on our big trip to gas town, but quick question, do we all have to go? [ laughter ] >> what? >> seth: it just feels a little silly. and, if i'm being honest, irresponsible, that when we ever we go to get gasoline, we drive a fleet of muscle cars that literally shoot out fire. [ laughter ] okay, let's simplify. why do we go to gas town? >> gasoline! >> seth: and what do we waste a lot of every time we drive to gas town in our big muscle cars? >> gasoline! >> two for two, you guys.
>> ain't nothing wrong with looking cool. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. this is what i'm talking about, a perfect example right here. [ laughter ] does the guitar have to shoot fire? i mean, come on, jeremy. >> the name's doof warrior. when you were jeremy. [ laughter ] >> i'm not going to defy immortan joe's orders. paint me up, boys. >> great. actually, i'm so happy that you brought up the war paint. [ sigh ] >> you're the worst. >> seth: oh, i know, i know, i'm the buzz kill here. but do we have to paint our bodies white every single morning? >> it is a tribute to immortan joe. he is the one who grabbed the sun! >> he is the one who grabbed the sun! >> seth: i heard it when he said it. [ laughter ] and in general, i think we could
>> why aren't my war boys suited up? do you not wish to ride with me, eternal on the highway to valhalla! >> we live to serve you immortan joe. it's just that this war boy is enlightening us on how things should be done. >> we need gasoline! >> seth: not necessarily. >> is this about your wind board again? [ laughter ] >> seth: first off, it's not a wind board, it's a wind glider, you know that. and guys, why can't we give it a shot? we would save thousands of gallons of gasoline. >> okay. let's picture that. you're on the fury road riding your wind board. >> seth: wind glider. >> and a gang of buzzards ambush you. what do you do? they have harpoons and buzz saws. >> seth: and i have the wind which i will harness and glide to safety. >> and when they ram you with their cars that are covered in spikes? >> you know what's scary? everybody wanna hear what's scary?
>> last year you were calling it global warming. >> seth: haven't you died yet? >> it's a myth! >> seth: it's a serious problem. [ arguing ] >> the science does nab you. >> seth: you can yell all you want, it's a serious problem. all the birds are extinct. [ arguing ] >> silence! he's right. we're going to go with his wind board. >> seth: really? >> yes. i'll go tell the mechanics to scrap what they are working on with the cars and the war rigs. >> seth: are you sure? >> totally, you know, it's time for something new. hey, can i pitch you an idea? just off the top of my head why we're spit balling? >> seth: yeah, i mean, of course. >> what do you think of a recycling program? >> seth: i think that would be great. >> like a color coded -- >> seth: yes. >> blue papers, green for bottles and cans and red for trash. >> seth: red for trash! >> yes. >> seth: oh, my god. you know, i have been writing these memos to you for years. and i never thought you read them. i'm so happy and touched to see that the message is getting
>> no, no, i'm reading them. i'm up in my skull sitting on my chair, reading your memos out loud. doof is up there reading them, too. >> i read the memos. >> yeah. we love your memos, they're so cool. >> seth: you're [ bleep ]with me aren't you? [ laughter ] [ coughing ] >> i'm so sick. i'm so sick. we're all so sick. enough! time! yes, we'll leave this boy here with his wind blade while we ride eternal on the highway to valhalla. [ cheers ] >> seth: i hope every single one of you get's your feelings hurt today. [ horn ] >> doof warrior out.
>> seth: whole lotta wind in this game. [ applause ] >> announcer: more "late night with seth meyers is sponsored by the blue cash everyday card from american express. the card that gives you more than cash back, it's backed by the service and security of membership. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i just wasn't mad enough. that was the problem, i wasn't mad enough. everybody give it up for the 8g band over there. [ cheers and applause ] so happy to have them here. also, so happy because sitting in all week on drums from an incredible rock band the "black keys", patrick carney is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you for having me. >> seth: thank you so much for being here this week, patrick. [ applause ] you guys, our first guest tonight is one of the busiest people in television, he host the "today show," "last call with carson daly," and "the voice." which is back for its tenth season on nbc. please welcome back to the show
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> thank you! 8g band, patrick, awesome. you guys are the best. >> seth: it's a nice night. you're here on good night. it was very -- it was nice being backstage i met your lovely wife. >> thank you. >> seth: congratulations you just got married this year. >> it took ten years. >> seth: ten years. >> but we finally did it. we got married. >> seth: couple for ten years. >> now we -- we have three kids. >> seth: you have three kids. >> you've met jackson. >> seth: yep. >> my oldest is here with me tonight. >> seth: so, you just put off wedding for basically no reason. >> as long as humanly possible. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] and was it a good wedding when you finally did it. >> it was amazing, 'cause there was 12 of us there. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> the best part about it was, we surprised our mothers -- actually, our parents, really and told them about 48 hours before. so just -- december 23rd, they were at my house for christmas. and we were just like oh we have
and they open it up, and it was wedding invitation. of course, for the past decade, they were like, "when are you gonna get married, when this gonna happen?" and then they just stopped for about five years. and then we -- it's they opened it, and they started to cry. it was happening, you know, in our hometown in two days. and it was just us. >> seth: oh, fantastic. >> and it took all the control away from them. and, it was really -- it was really great ceremony. >> seth: that's wonderful. [ laughter ] >> i highly recommend it. >> seth: that is a beautiful sentiment right there. >> highly recommend it. yeah. >> seth: also, it must be nice, because the fact you guys are a family, you have three kids. friends probably didn't have their feelings hurt they weren't invited. because in a wedding like -- at the beginning of your lives. >> let me just explain you're -- you're gonna have a kid here. once you have a kid, there are no friends. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. oh, gotcha, so that's -- you don't have any. >> there are no friends. >> seth: yeah. >> there's only -- there is only spouse and offspring -- times how ever many you have. >> seth: that's good -- i'm so psyched to hear that, 'cause we're having one like, real soon. >> yeah, whoever you've wanted to, like, unfriend or whatever. you can shake them all the minute you have a kid. >> seth: here's the reason you also can't invite people in your situation. is, nobody wants to go to a wedding if kids are there. >> no, no. [ laughter ]
kids was, we felt like they -- it was like, let's just wait a little longer. kicking the can down the road a little bit. 'cause they'll get to the age where they will appreciate it. so jackson, my oldest walked siri down the isle with the ring. they really i think got a grasp of it. you know, and for us, the whole idea is to stay together as long as you can. and today's day and age, it's a difficult task. >> seth: yes. >> we thought, you know what -- and this is unconventional. you know, i work at the "today show" now. it's traditional place. i get a lot of tweets where viewers of the today show, 30 years, "why aren't you?" siri is also the today show. >> seth: she's a -- she's a food blogger. >> she's a cooking correspondent now. >> seth: so she's -- on the show. and so people would be angry at you, yes. >> we do stuff together like this. and like i'd check twitter in the commercial. they'll be like, "why don't you marry that woman? she's amazing, you are living in sin." [ laughter ] and you what, the truth was -- >> seth: you were. you were living in sin. >> i was living in sin. >> seth: but that's great. >> i'll tweet them back from hell. [ laughter ] >> seth: so -- i wanna talk ten -- this is the tenth season of "the voice." >> yes. >> seth: incredible, flown by.
chair? truth or rumor that there's a fifth voice chair, that like basically goes on tour by itself? >> this is true. it goes around the state fairs. i don't know where it goes. it's impossible to get. it travels with body guards, it's like the stanley cup i guess. >> seth: so you would just walk to a state fair and maybe be luck that, "the voice" chair would be there? >> the request come in like crazy for a "voice" chair to be at some event for a photo-op. >> seth: so if somebody's got enough scratch, they could get the "voice" chair for their daughters batmitzvah? >> yes, yes! [ laughter ] yes, if you can't afford beyonce, "the voice" chair is in your range somewhere. on a lower tier of money. and it does, it travels around. it's booked for like ten years. >> seth: it's a nice chair. >> but i know somebody, if you need one. for -- >> seth: i would love one. i would love, maybe the birth? >> yes. >> seth: maybe i'll put my wife in the chair. >> yes! [ laughter ] >> seth: then she'll just turnaround. or i'll turn around, if i want to -- keep the baby? [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: you should be in the chair!
[ applause ] i'm with your family in the other room going, "weird, seth hasn't turned around." [ laughter ] seth's wife hasn't gotten a chair turn. >> seth: this is a very awkward moment. >> you should come back next season. >> seth: you do "the voice" in l.a. >> we got a steal! >> seth: if blake gets my baby, heart breaking. especially because, if blake raised my baby and i got it back, it would be too much of a man for me to handle it. [ laughter ] if it spent a day with blake shelton. >> your baby have like would have a dip in its mouth. >> seth: he would show me the way to hammer. "oh, guess that is more efficient." >> and now he's with gwen so the baby would have like pink hair. too confusing. >> seth: i don't know it's kind of interesting though. >> no chair for you. no chair for you. >> seth: okay, no chair for me. >> it's a fun show. i can't believe it's been on. >> seth: yeah. you shoot in l.a., but you live here. >> yep. >> seth: through the years you obviously you have gone back and
>> yep >> seth: true that you lived at one point in ricky martin's house? >> this is true. >> seth: okay. >> i wanna preference this by saying this wasn't "livin' la vita loca" superstar. >> seth: okay. >> this was back in the mid-'90s. >> seth: this is pre-that? >> this is "general hospital" ricky martin. >> seth: okay gotcha. >> to me this is, menudo ricky. he was in menudo. >> seth: this was like -- this was somebody who's house you could afford to stay in. >> oh, i couldn't afford, "livin' la vida --" no, i could afford to lease or to rent menudo, ricky's house. i moved to l.a. with a bunch of dj's working at a radio station. all over the country. i'm moving in a truck, six years six station i'm in san francisco, down in san jose. and a bunch of us get a job in los angeles. world famous k-rock, i'm playing nada surf, i'm playing all these great bands at the time. so i think i've died and gone to heaven. i never think i'm going to be anything. so i get this great job in my 20s. i'm like, oh, we lease the house in hollywood hills, we have a bmw. we have died and gone to heaven.
money. but this house we've rented was ricky martin's house. >> seth: and did you know that. did a -- >> no because we would get his fan mail. bundles of mail in spanish would come to our house. and so, on my radio show on k-rock, i would read all of all -- we called it casa de menudo. so i would read all ricky's fan mail on the air. >> seth: now reading someone's mail, that has to be illegal. >> but enough -- [ laughter ] i didn't think about that. i didn't think about that. i sure enough time has gone by, now i'm okay. >> seth: yeah, i mean i would assume like, mail though that's federal though. that's a federal crime. >> but everybody -- they loved him. >> seth: now does that -- at a werid way like 'cause obviously, through the years you've become -- your profile has gone up. has it started to sink in thaty you will never receive fan mail like ricky martin was doing? even pre la vida loca. pre la loca -- >> yeah but nobody even writes mail anymore. this is back in the days where teenage girls would put their perfume on it and little hearts in it. >> seth: i guess that's truth. there's no such thing fan mail probably anymore.
>> seth: yeah, there's no way to perfume tweets. >> but to answer your question, there's a good chance i could rent his house again one day. >> seth: really? you would to get back in the game? >> no, that same house. >> seth: oh that same house. >> the casa de menudo. >> seth: yeah, i hope things go well enough for you to get that house again. >> thank you. i thank you. >> seth: and thank you so much for being back on the show congratulation on everything. >> thank you so much. >> seth: carson daly everybody the tenth season of "the voice" airs monday and tuesday nights on nbc. you can also see carson hosting the "today show." and "last call" that is after "late night." it'll be on tonight. we'll be right back. with kristin schaal. [ cheers and applause ] four bandits chose a prius as their getaway car. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over. this thing is actually pretty fast. over.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back too "late night," everybody! our next guest tonight played obsessive fan, mel in "flight of the conchords," and voices evil genius grade schooler, louise, in "bob's burgers." starting sunday, you can see her in new episodes of the very funny fox series, "the last man on earth." let's take a look. >> wait, carol, carol. there's something i have to tell you. this is going to be hard to
>> then i'll move in closer. >> todd and gail are boning. >> cheese and rice! >> todd didn't do anything wrong. he and melissa had already broken up. >> i have to tell melissa. >> carol, you can't. todd swore me to secrecy. >> melissa's my best friend, and she's getting boned against. >> and i'm your husband. okay, so promise me you won't say anything. >> okay, i promise. >> let me see those hands. >> good catch. >> seth: please welcome back to the show, kristen schaal! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so nice to see you. you look lovely today. >> oh, thank you! i'm wearing an exclusive piece of jewelry. the maker's name's alice. she's my niece, and she gets all of her beads exclusively from
>> seth: oh, wow! [ laughter ] how old is alice? >> 4 1/2. >> seth: wow! >> yeah, she's a genius. >> seth: to get a necklace made by a 4-year-old is, i think, a violation of some labor laws. [ laughter ] >> maybe we'll edit this part out. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, there you go. so, i want to -- i talked a little bit to jason sudeikis about this, but i want to talk about forte, your co-star, will forte. >> oh, he says "hi," by the way. >> seth: oh, thank you. >> which i thought was strange because i thought maybe you guys had each other's phone numbers or something. like, "why do i have to relay the hello?" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, like you and i don't see each other enough for you to have to do his housekeeping. >> yeah, he said it, like, three times. i was on the phone with him the other day. i'm like, "i'm going to do seth." he was like, "oh, tell seth, 'hi.' please tell him, 'hi.'" i'm like, "tell him yourself?" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> right? but he says, "hi." >> seth: i hate myself in advance. please tell him, "hello" back. [ laughter ] >> you got it. >> seth: all right, thank you. uh, this is forte's look. this is forte's look at a party. recently, he shaved half of his head. [ laughter ]
>> seth: you work with him enough, because i know how obsessive forte can be. did he shave just the head half? or is it full body half hair? >> i believe he committed. >> seth: fully? >> yeah, you know he does. >> seth: yeah, he's full on commitment. >> i know shave shaved because he shaved his eyebrow. i watched him shave his arm and leg. and then, according to the make up department, he took the electric razor, pulled open his boxers, and just went for it. >> seth: wow! [ laughter ] >> because he had to ask for a new razor. and they're like, "you just bought one." and she was like, "its got forte's pubes it." [ laughter ] and they're like, "all right. that's fair." >> seth: yeah, that's not -- nobody wants to use that razor again. i don't think it's usable. this -- i remember, because i'd known you before. >> you've known me. >> seth: i've know you for a long time. and so the first episode of "mad men," i remember saying, "oh, my god. that's kristen schaal." but you were only in the first episode of "mad men." >> yes. >> seth: here's a shot of you. obviously, you know, one of the great shows of our generation, and you played a switch board operator. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: what was "mad men" experience?
>> flo from the progressive ads? >> yeah, that's stephanie courtney. >> seth: that's crazy. >> yeah, i know. >> seth: that i missed. >> little did we know that we were going to go off up and out of there. [ laughter ] she was going to make multi-millions and i was going to try. [ laughter ] >> seth: i think it's safe to say you guys did better than any actual switch board operator from the era. >> i think that might be safe to say, you know? i mean, what is happiness? like, maybe some of them found love. but did they find, like the new heights of a career? >> seth: probably not. no fault of their own. >> yeah. >> seth: the feeling imposed on them imposed by society. [ laughter ] what was your "mad men" experience like? did you have a good time? >> i had a great time. i mean, they dress you up in, like, you know, from the underwear out. so the bra was, like, all cone-shaped and pointy. they really got into it. and they gave you the cigarettes to smoke. i've never smoked before, so i was just, like, puffing away, just, like, showing off, you
puffing. and matthew weiner came up, and he was like, "cut!" he comes from behind the camera. so he just, like, gets down, kneels right in my face and he's like, "you don't smoke, do you?" [ laughter ] and i was like, "what do you mean?" [ laughter ] he's like, "why don't you just leave yours in the ashtray? all right, let's go again." i guess you inhale, and you're not constantly making smoke and just, like, going nuts with it. is that right? >> seth: you were cartoon smoking? >> i was. [ laughter ] i was forcing smoking. >> seth: that's allowed. it seems weird. >> maybe that's my character. >> seth: to be fair, at least you -- at the time, it was only the first episode. you didn't know how specific and the, like, sort of attention to detail the show would have. >> right. >> seth: you might thought, like, "'mad men,' this is a show about crazy people." >> i didn't know what it was! >> seth: yeah, you can't be blamed. >> who knew what that was? it was like, amc. amc had done nothing but showing reruns. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you know? we were like, "okay." it was, like, shot in a weird
we were like, "okay." >> seth: when he came over and said, "don't smoke," like that, you should have said, "i don't think this is going to be on tv." [ laughter ] >> i mean, i did it, and it took a year before it did get on tv because he had to, like, finish "the sopranos" or whatever. [ laughter ] yeah. >> seth: um, well, thank you so much for coming on the show. it's always a pleasure to see you. [ laughter ] >> is that it? >> seth: that's it. [ laughter ] well, actually, no. >> well, i don't think so. >> seth: you know what? will you stick around? >> i think i will. >> seth: all right, stick around. >> you always try to screw me up. >> seth: we'll be back with kristen schaal.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to the show, everybody! i'm here with kristen schaal. >> yeah, hey, seth. >> seth: hi. >> hey, i heard you mentioned before that it was leap day. >> seth: yes. >> and you are excited about it, and i love leap day. >> seth: you do? >> yeah, because it's the one day out of year women can ask men to marry them, i mean, where it's, like, not weird. >> seth: oh, i didn't -- so this is a tradition about leap day? >> yeah. >> seth: i did not know that. >> yeah, and i was just wondering if before you kick me off the set if i could maybe, you know, live out my dreams and ask some people in the audience if they would marry me? >> seth: yeah, sure. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks, seth!
[ applause ] >> hello. um -- [ laughter ] from the moment we met, a few seconds ago, i just that knew i wanted to make you the happiest man in the world. [ laughter ] will you marry me? wait, before you answer -- [ laughter ] i just think you should know that i'm very good at sex. [ laughter ] i know all the positions. up and down, side to side, curly-cue, in the air, coffin style, franklin and bash, and backwards fettucini alfredo. [ laughter ] that's all of them. and i know them. so, there's one rule. there's one rule. you know, no kissing. [ laughter ] it's too personal. >> okay, okay. >> all right, so, will you marry me? >> yes. >> aaaah! [ cheers and applause ]
[ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> hi. >> um -- can i have your -- [ laughter ] i don't want you to think that you're my second choice. >> okay. [ laughter and applause ] >> because you are my first choice after my first choice. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> okay, i want you to look deep into my eyes. really look. are you looking? i want you to lock it in there. [ laughter ] are you locked? >> yeah. >> are you there? all right. i want you to close your eyes, but don't stop looking into mine. [ laughter ] you can figure it out, all right? you got this. you got this. >> okay. >> okay, now, open your mouth and say, "ahh." i want to look and see your throat. [ laughter ] oh, yeah. ooh, you might be developing a minor case of strep throat there. [ laughter ] i don't care. through sickness and in health, right? >> yes.
>> oh, yes! [ cheers and applause ] oh, my god. that's so great! [ applause ] aaah! gosh. [ laughter ] here, take this. >> okay. >> here you go. it's a brownie. [ laughter ] take a bite of it. [ laughter ] >> wonderful. >> thank you. the secret ingredient is love. [ laughter ] and the other secret ingredient is acid. [ laughter ] and there might be a ring in there. >> i'll check back in a couple hours. [ laughter ]
>> yes. >> ayour honor! [ cheers and applause ] oh my god! so many husbands! aaah! [ laughter ] hi. >> hey. >> so, i don't want to propose to you. [ laughter ] but i want to propose to the man next to you. [ laughter ] but i'm just feeling kind of vulnerable inside. so will you help me out? >> sure. >> just tell him that he's a hunka hunka? [ laughter ] talk to him normal. [ laughter ] >> you're a hunka hunka. [ laughter ] >> thanks. >> so, where's your holsters for those guns? [ laughter ] >> where's your holsters for your guns? [ laughter ] >> i don't know what to say.
>> is it time for desert? because you're a real beefcake. >> is it time for desert? because you are a real beefcake. [ laughter ] >> i still don't know what to say. [ laughter ] >> okay, do you think he likes it? please ask him if he'll marry me. not you, make sure you get the pronouns right. [ laughter ] "marry me." >> will you marry me? >> noooo! [ laughter ] oh, no! i lost it! [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh! i can't help it! i think i'm going to ask the whole audience to marry me. seth meyers' audience, will you marry me?
aaah! thank you! seth, you might want to leave because your audience and myself, we're about to consummate our engagement fettuccine alfredo style. you know what i'm saying? >> seth: no, i like to watch. i like to watch. >> you know what i'm saying. >> seth: kristen schaal, everybody! "the last man on earth" premieres sunday, march 6th, on fox. we'll be back with music from
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the house makes the heart don't get me started about how hard it is to start or stay on track or don't dream or do whether you want or want not to what i arrived to the radio took me the radio radio made me what can i do but dream what can we do but listen to stories wretched or glorious is it me and you in other scenes
i don't mind if it's hot i don't mind what you're thinking i don't mind if you're not what can i do the airwaves they took me the radio took me the radio radio made me what can i do but dream what can we do but listen to stories wretched or glorious is it me and you in other scenes where i found my eyes it's loving that took me it's sundays out
the son makes the man a little cold to see clear a little cold see clear cold to see clear a little cold to see clear a little cold to see clear the air waves they took me the radio radio made me what can i do but dream what can we do but listen to stories wretched or glorious is it me and you in other scenes where i found my eyes