Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 4, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST

12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight --. star of "grandfathered," actor john stamos. from "saturday night live," comedian jay pharoah.aturing the 8g band with patrick carney. [ cheers and applause ] seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. former nominee, mitt romney gave a speech today to try to stop donald trump from securing theion. and in a related story, a
12:38 am
at godzilla. [ laughter ] that's not enough to stop him. mitt romney gave a speech at the university of utah this morning,nald trump. and in it, he said trump's promises are as worthless as the degree from trump university.opped the mic and it broke his toe. [ laughter ] ben carson sat out tonight's ublican debate and kind of the first ten. [ laughter ] ay about his vacant expression during donald trump's super tuesday victory speech, and told reporters, "i wasn't happy." well, if that expression means you are happy, then my wife was thrilled when i forgot her birthday. [ cheers and applause ]
12:39 am
of unintended pregnancies in the u.s. has dropped by 18%. the drop is attributed to a new contraceptive. [ laughter ] no thank you. no. i don't want a drink. thank you, though. a farm in ohio has the words "no trump" written so large in cow it could be seen by overhead planes. the craziest part? no one asked the cow to do that. [ laughter ]en cows know. [ cheers and applause ]hub has revealed america's most popular porn search term to be "lesbian."opular google search is "how to clear your browser history." announced it's developed a new packaging material grown from mushrooms, which could replace styrofoam. plus, if you eat the mushrooms
12:40 am
[ laughter ] oh, yeah, all right. here we go.the flurgen in the gurgen. [ applause ] nasa estimates that during his scott kelly drank almost 200 gallons of water filtered from his own urine and sweat, e last day, he found all the fiji bottles he brought with him. [ laughter ] no! why? and finally, according to recentf americans have admitted to cooking in the nude. unfortunately, most of them work at chipotle. [ cheers and applause ]tlemen we have a great show for you tonight. from the new film "whiskey, ," our good friend, tina fey is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ]x's "grandfathered," and netflix's
12:41 am
[ cheers and applause ]d another old colleague of mine, one of the stars of "snl," jay pharaoh is on the show for the very first time tonight. [ cheers and applause ] ng to him. but before we get to that, yesterday, the supreme court in what could be the most important abortion case in 20 years. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: okay, so the first thing to know is that thanks to ave a constitutional right to abortion in america. but over the last 20 years, that right has been under attack by es, who think that even if they can't make abortion illegal, they can make getting one more difficult. roe v. wade in 1973, states have enacted 1,074 abortion restrictions. of these, 28enacted just since 2010. the only thing that increased
12:42 am
in the last five years are new emojis and amount you hear bruno mars at the gym.e of these restrictions is a new law passed in kentucky this month requiring women to have a medical consultation 24 hours before having an abortion.hat you have to get a consultation before exercising a fundamental constitutional right seems to many, including kentucky state lawmaker, mary lou marzian, who ng a bill that would require men to quote, "have two doctor visits and provide a signed and dated ouses providing consent before they could obtain erectile dysfunction drugs like viagra." honey, will you write me a note for viagra?wanted to do some reading this weekend, so no. [ laughter ] so those kind of restrictions have become commonplace over the last five years, and yesterday, ard arguments on an anti-abortion law in texas that is pretty obviously aimed at tryin abortion.
12:43 am
take place in very expensive wn as ambulatory surgical centers. it also requires all abortion providers have admitting privileges at local hospitals. the end result in texas is that million women of reproductive age who may be left with only ten abortion clinics. >> seth: ten clinics for 5.4 million women.d making matters worse, the waiting rooms just have one "us weekly" from like 1982.ke us. now texas lawmakers claim the new rules are just to protect women's health and saft. these lawmakers care about safety the way olive garden cares about portion control, not at all. [ laughter ]na kagan pointed out yesterday, "there are many procedures that are much higher risk. co could go on and on. and of course the reason colonoscopies aren't regulated like abortions is that all men even are ass [ bleep ]." [ laughter ]
12:44 am
other two female justices in hammering away at texas' texas is doing this for the benefit of women. justice sonia sotomayor pointed out that one of the undue burdens in the is law this. a nonsurgical abortion, a woman can take two prescribed pills at home. but if the law stands, she has or pay for a hotel to get those two days of treatment. driving 200 miles to do something you can do at home.trage if you told men they had to go to albany to masturbate? and meet with a counselor 24 hours ahead of time.ing to fantasize about? oh, from the progressive ads? [ laughter ]he end, it was justice ruth bader ginsburg who, when the lawyers representing texas continued to claim that the omen's health, cut to the chase and pointed out that, quote, "a woman has the fundamental right to make this choice for herself, but for now, the choice is in anthony kennedy," who is the swing vote in this case. a four-four vote mean the texas
12:45 am
right. it shouldn't be harder for women to access health care than to access "uptown funk." this has b [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night."e ] so my kids don't have to forage, got two jobs to pay a mortgage, and i've also got a brain. life's short, talk is cheap.while you sleep. still don't think i've got a brain? you think a resume's enough? when things get tough? don't you want that kind of brain? a degree is a degree. want someone like me. but only if you have a brain. friday night owls and saturday early birds... for the new sonoma goods for life collection...
12:46 am
apparel for him and for her...the kids. save on sonoma for your home too. plus get kohl's cash. kohl's. ed your car... like greasy, fast food treats your body... hey, steve. hey!o walk everywhere. so say no to greasy fast food... and treat your body right... rotisserie-style chicken sandwich from subway. made with our new, hand-pulled, chicken raised without antibiotics... all on our freshly-baked bread. the subway sandwich shop.o. she is a youtube sensation, superwoman!n.
12:47 am
that state i reach when i decide,g to be okay, and i'm happy. unicorn! i'm going to take you all,n island! degree motionsense. the world's first antiperspirant with unique microcapsules activated by movement,s of freshness all day. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degree. it won't let you down.
12:48 am
them. you can even choose a car for them. re you ok? (child) i'm ok. (mom) we're ok. (announcer vo) it's what makes a
12:49 am
[ cheers and applause ]elcome back to "late night" everybody. please give it up for the 8g band over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, he's been sitting in all drums, from the black keys, patrick carney is with us. [ cheers and applause ] it has been an honor, patrick. please come back anytime.ys know what a casserole is? a casserole is a meal where you ferent kinds of foods in a dish and you sort of cook it up. and what you get is what you get.ring this up is we here at "late night", we come up with tons of different ideas all the time for the show. and many of them aren't quite full sketch, a full meal, if you will. so instead of just discarding all those ideas we thought we'd style in a segment we call "late
12:50 am
[ applause ] >> seth: all right, first up, one of our writers thought of showing celebrities caught without their make up, it would be funny to show celebrities caught with their make up. in a segment cleverly titled, "celebrities caught with their make up." ay, let's check out the first celebrity. looks like we caught this hollywood star wearing make up. uh-oh. [ light laughter ] celebrities caught with their make up. [ applause ] not enough for a full sketch, but a fine, a fine piece of writing. [ light laughter ] have you heard of gaydar? great.ydar is when an individual is able to look at a person and know if they are gay or not. so, here's the premise, what if rt justice ruth bader ginsburg had really good gaydar? well, then you'd have the
12:51 am
[ light laughter ] gay.laughter ] or not gay? not gay. [ light laughter ] gay. gay, gay, gay. [ light laughter ] all right. there's something there. there's something there. that might be better than casserole. you guys heard of the word a day okay. [ light laughter ] one of my writers comes to me and says what would it be like instead of a word a day if it was a sound a day calendar. it's a calendar where instead ofords you get to learn new sounds. her a listen. [ glass shatters ]
12:52 am
[ thump ] that was a tub of potato salad hitting the floor. [ light laughter ]'s up next. [ creak ] [ moo ]alling on to a cow. [ laughter ] you know what? we don't have time for this. let's rip through a bunch of them.revving ] [ horn ] [ pop ] [ cartoon boing ] [ cartoon twang ] [ cartoon bounce ] what are these? [ cartoon spring ] very well made. [ sharp whistle ] [ cartoon buzz ] [ cartoon stretch ] [ cartoon whiplash ] all right, that's way too many of these. [ creak ] [ moo ] we heard that one. let's just do one more. [ wailing ] that's the sound of americans onmp's inauguration. [ cheers and applause ]we are making a pretty good casserole here you
12:53 am
you guys been paying attention to the debates? great.st because i didn't feel like it. how many of you had a word a day calendar? great. okay. so. [ light laughter ]tching the presidential debates, what happens before every presidential debate the candidates, they get a tour of the stage. it's explained to them how the rk. and they often show -- the networks often show that footage without the sound. so you can't hear what they are actually saying. best writers. [ light laughter ] have dubbed over the clips with ine is being said. let's take a look. we'll start with john kasich. >> now, govedium. you'll be standing behind it. there will be people over there, audience members, they're in the audience. also the people to your left.and your left. and then you'll talk to those the debates other candidates will talk to people during the debate.
12:54 am
center? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's good. what? that's so good, let's take a look at one with jeb bush. >> okay, governor, so, what we have here -- what? [ laughter ] love water. water is funny. >> me too.rinks it. everybody drinks water. [ light laughter ] >> that's true. that's true. >> should i use that as a joke in the debate?ht kill. >> uh, governor, i'm not sure -- >> pick it up and go -- ng. >> seth: very nice. [ applause ] very nice. all right. that goes right into the casserole.t. no idea. i cannot stress, no idea is too strange for "late night casserole" and that will become abundantly clear when you see our next and final piece.ters, conner o'malley, he's a big fan of charlie rose, big fan. favorite part is the theme song
12:55 am
the theme music from charlie rose. light laughter ] >> seth: that is a delicious casserole.with more
12:56 am
coveringg. because covering heals faster. to seal out water, dirt and germs, block clear bandage from band-aid brand. of who dunnit? luckily, jay chews trident to help clean and protect his teeth, so he can claim his innocence
12:57 am
they'll never know. t. cherish your teeth. alright, what do you think boys?s. we could do some thai. ooo... how 'bout sushi, eh? [weird dog moan/squeak] why not?eaking] no, we're not, we're not having barbecue... again. [quiet dog groan] why? legs, and i'm on two... and i'm driving. that's why.
12:58 am
uinta.com sends craig wilson a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what he becomes? great proposal! let's talk more over golf. great.over tennis? even better. a game changer! the ready for you alert, only at lq.com. burn relief? try cool mint zantac. it releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. zantac works in as little as 30 minutes.e 24 hours. try cool mint zantac. no pill relieves heartburn faster. mited data for your family is a struggle. other carriers either don't offer it, or it's too expensive! not t-mobile! intr! get three lines of unlimited 4g lte data for just fifty bucks each, and get a fourth line, free!give you a fourth line at no extra cost. so tell those other guys you're done worrying about data.nlimited
12:59 am
and a fourth line on us.
1:00 am
[ cheers and applause ]me back to "late night" everybody. our first guest tonight has earned eight emmys, three golden globes. and is a recipient of mark twain prize for american humor.as a war time journalist in her latest film "whiskey tango foxtrot" which opens in theatres friday. let's take a look. >> can i ask a favor, kim?l free to say no. >> yeah, sure. >> i hate to even bring it up. i feel so rude even asking this. >> no, it's fine.th your security guy? >> oh, by all means. don't say it just to be polite. >> i wouldn't, i'm not. >> no, that would never happen. so you're good. >> hey, you can have nick., you're a serious piece of ass. >> thank you, oh, that's nice. >> because you're what?six, seven in new york? >> yeah? >> you're a nine, borderline
1:01 am
>> huh.welcome back to the show, my good friend, tina fey everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> seth: so great to see you.ou. >> seth: it was nice see you at the oscars. you and steve carell got to present. >> yeah. rs evening? >> it was pretty good, you know. it was exciting like, adam mckay -- >> seth: former head writer of "snl." >> the former head writer of scar. >> seth: yeah. >> and we're pretty sure that's the first ever "snl" alum oscar, right, we think. >> seth: i gyeah. >> as far as we know, i don't want to be like sam smith and go out on a limb here and be wrong. [ laughter ] >> seth: so will sam smith --'s in a twitter war with me. but yeah, i feel like there have been nominees before but so -- that's pretty cool. >> seth: yeah, it's nice, use when you
1:02 am
>> yeah, adam gave me my job. >> seth: really?me couches. people who are working there now are on the same couches that an oscar winner worked on. >> seth: because they don't turn probably an oscar winner's boogers. [ laughter ] >> seth: then you also, was it is sag awards you and amy got to present?rnett. >> yeah, amy and i got to give a lifetime achievement award to carol burnett which is a super big deal and it was interesting lized, partly we realized that anyone under 35 was like oh, that's nice. and then everyone 35 and up was my gosh. we were like i know. and it was like such a huge deal. and thankfullyt me process what huge deal it was until i got back to the hotel and i was like oh, my gosh, carol burnett. [ laughter ]my hotel room having a real freak out about it. it was pretty cool. >> seth: people at the security called up, they're like people r hotel are saying there's a woman saying carol burnett. >> there's a woman crying alone about carol burnett. >> seth: so congrats on the
1:03 am
>> thank you.is is a chicago tribune reporter? >> yeah, there's a woman named kim barker who wrote a book called the "taliban shuffle" abou in afghanistan and pakistan. and there was review of the bookes" where michiko kakutani said, oh, kim writes herself like a tina fey character. like, i'm going to read that book. [ laughter ] >> seth: you basically skim all book reviews. >> yeah, and when it doesn't say about me, i don't read. the book was really funny and dramatic and so, yeah, we took aramount and they let us make a movie out of it. >> seth: that's fantastic, and you shot in new mexico for >> yes. yeah. >> seth: so my wife is from new mexico. i spend a lot of time there. how was your time? did you enjoy new mexico?e new mexico. we were half the time in santa fe, half the time in albuquerque. it's like mountains and these restaurants are amazing. and everyone that lives there,
1:04 am
just like women who were once married to don henley. [ light laughter ]ke gorgeous like 58 yearen and like thick squash blossom necklaces. >> seth: i feel like every other store front is like a gallery. like a georgia o'keeffe gallery. i seriously loved it. >> seth: there's a -- >> 10,000 ways., i was went to. i went there. my wife took me there for my >> it was great. >> seth: it's a beautiful spa. >> it's a beautiful spa. and you can get like your our own private hot tub. it's like in the mountains, all these little doors and warrens and different places and so i went there with a bunch of my friends.g on the movie and so we were like walking around. it was very crowded. i went back, took a little hot tub. into the ladies locker room and there was a couple getting a tour.walk into the lady's locker room. it was a very confusing way and so i was like, oh i'm so sorry, this is actually the lady's
1:05 am
and then the part of the couple as the gentleman look at me and said "i got >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] thing to hear. >> yeah. i was like, it was a gray buzz cut, basketball shorts. e. but i felt so bad. that then i proceeded to deeply over compensate. [ laughter ] >> and then i was like oh no, and i'm so sorry. i kept trying to like engage with this couple who weren't out, they were like, how do we do these lockers? and i was like what you do is -- you just have to set it to zero.all right. they were right next to me in the locker room. i'm not prejudice in that way at all. them to know it was an honest mistake. then i found myself taking off my bathing suit at them. [ laughter ] from around here? i just was like when would you ever -- you are in a locker room. ing your bathing suit off. but i just wanted them to like
1:06 am
>> seth: tyou think to make people like you. >> i know and it never works. [ laughter ] >> seth: you need to have better self-esteem. you've accomplished so much. it's not about just taking your people. >> at them. [ laughter ] but if they see this again i'm so sorry. >> seth: we were talking backstage.s now, your daughters are 10 and four. >> yeah. >> seth: i'm about to have my first. >> congratulations. >> seth: thank you so much. [ cheers ]u were saying -- i'm saying i can't wait to see your movie and you told me that i'm never going to see it now -- >> the next movie you see is going to be "kung fu panda 4." [ laughter ] you're never see it. to see another adult movie ever again. but 10 and four, are those fun ages? >> very sweet, very sweet. they are a nice distance apart. they don't fight too much. and the little one is getting to that -- four is a very sweet age, very affectionate. when i go leave to go to work in the morning they're like no, i want one more, one more kiss and one more hug.d she'll chase me to the door. and then i'm going down the elevator and you hear her going like, i love you, i love you so much. >> seth: aww. >> and my husband goes where she
1:07 am
and it's jly. then the other day, i heard her saying it to her poop going down the toilet. she goes, bye, poopy, i love you, i love you so much. [ laughter ] fair enough. [ light laughter ] fair enough. seth: your husband jeff richman, a fantastic musician. >> yes. >> seth: are the kids musically inclined? >> i think they are.i am. i think they have a little bit of his skills. they play some instruments already.what musical. >> i'm okay. we did a benefit recently. we did this benefit for lincoln center where we got a bunch of "snl" people and then some g this thing. we are all rehearsing, singing these songs.three-part harmony thing with kate mckinnon and cecily strong who are good singers.home one day. and i was like oh, and my 10-year-old was like what are you working on? i said, oh, i'm singing the high
1:08 am
and she just like deadeye looked hink [ laughter ] for you to havld you have the high part? little girl get out of my face. >> seth: i like that your 10-year-old is cutting and the to poop. [ light laughter ]far apart. job. >> seth: so we were talking backstage about challenge coins. me. because in meet a lot of great air force people. and some people who were really e people i think we dress like marines in the movie. they have this thing called challenge coins. which is officers in the military, if they want to give aomeone below them they give them these coins of their rank. and so these guys when they go out, if they go out to a bar, at the end of the week or whatever. people pull out their challenge coins.est ranking challenge coin drinks for free. >> seth: and so it's not their rank. m. >> right. somebody had to hand it down. so if you are a general, you can give it to somebody beneath you. and then they can be like i have
1:09 am
thank you to the people that helped us with the movie. we got some and apparently i think the highest ranking you nk is actually first lady. we asked for some presidential ones, which is like the second highest. they sent me one as well.the guy who helped us but then i go one so i have a presidential coin. so i won a free drink.t and that is so good because i know you. you are the biggest booze hound on earth. [ laughter ]g to it work for nachos? [ laughter ] what about mini pizzas? but i was thinking, we should y. we should have comedy challenge coins. >> seth: so the highest ranked comedian?he bar and you're like. i got a chris rock. >> seth: i drink for free. [ light laughter ] >> i have a 1960s, bill cosby. [ laughter ] [ applause ]h: that's a very high one. well thank you so much for being or having me. >> seth: i will buy you a drink anytime.
1:10 am
free. >> seth: i'm going to buy you a drink. cause i drink more than you. [ light laughter ] give it up for tina fey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "whiskey tango foxtrot" is in theatres friday. we'll be right back with john stamos. responds to the pressure of your finger. so you can do a ton of stuff in a lot less time. like look at a site without going to it. or watch. you can do pretty much everything faster. shooting stuff. music stuff. couch shopping. shoe shopping. running. checking a flight from an email. i'm peeking my flight. i'm not peeking my flight. i'm peeking my...wait, i missed my flight. owl photos.s. photos of... dolphins! a high-stepping man. pizza gifs. it's all faster with 3d touch on iphone 6s. what beer may i fetch you, my lord? umm... i'll have
1:11 am
and perhaps a wrench.wrench. redd's apple ale. and green apple. huh. introducing centrum vitamints. you enjoy like a mint... with a full spectrum of nutrients... new centrum vitamints. get 30% off every guest every ship in the caribbeanhis offer won't last long come seek the royal caribbean book today at 1-800-royalcaribbean. house, too! my bed, my squeaky toy... my goodness is that smokymeatytasty- bacon?? you like bacon?acon!
1:12 am
i'm gonna beat you to bacon! (vo) what makes dogs do the crazy things they do? beggin' (phone vibrates) yeah. you gotta come spring me. you and i were rapscallions news? here's the news. alec baldwin and jason schwartzman were seen mooning paparazzi. tographers... i did it again. folks, you can't make this stuff up. four bandits choser. bravo-niner, in pursuit of a toyota prius. over. how hard is it to catch a prius? over.ly pretty fast. over. very funny. we should get some flowers for the car. yeah! holly!
1:13 am
1:14 am
nd applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. is currently reprising his role as uncle jesse, on netflix's "fuller house." you can also see him in the new series "grandfathered" every tuesday on fox.
1:15 am
>> hi. i just came by to tell you that i borrowed 20 bucks from ravi and i have no intention ack. catherine, you're amazing. and i really like you. i know i was an idiot.you if you were anyone else, i would have moved on by now but i don't want to and i don't think you want to either.thing okay? or is this ken doll giving you a problem. ome to the show, john stamos! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: what a delight to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: always so nice to see you. >> hey. >> seth: this is good show. now -- >> seth, let me start by saying you're wonderful. >> seth: oh, well thank you, john. you're won you're handsome. >> seth: thank you. >> and you're smart. >> seth: i know. >> and i just love watching you. >> seth: you know, i feel -- >> hold me.
1:16 am
and then other days john stamos comes out and i feel like the bottom of the shoe. i gotta be honest. 'cause if we are talking handsome, you're the real deal. >> talk to bob saget about that. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] oh, he doesn't think you're handsome, bob? >> no, he does. >> seth: he doesn't. all right.- you, in this show, you play a 50-year-old grandfather. >> yeah. >> seth: now obviously in real life, you're aging backwards, we caughter ] but what was your reaction when you were first with the idea of a show called "grandfathered" where you are the grandfather? talked about doing a show where a bachelor, sort of a george clooney type before he, you know, sold all that out and got married. [ laughter ] a bachelor kind of guy who finds out he has a son. and then we added that my son had a daughter. >> seth: mm-hmm.nd they said what do you -- we tried every title. and they said, "what do you think of 'grandfathered?'" no. [ laughter ] yeah, you can't do that. but it's fine. know it's a it's just a part. you title it? you're an improv guy. come on, seth. >> seth: yeah. >> o.b. >> o.d.b. >> seth: the original o.b.
1:17 am
o. >> ol' dirty bachelor. [ laughter ] >> seth: ol' dirty bachelor is not bad. >> yeah. not bad right. >> seth: there you go. all right, now we got it. >> o.d.b. you can't change the title now. so i wanna -- and also you work with the baby on the show is twins, right?t. >> seth: you've done that before. you've done the twin thing. >> i made a couple twins very wealthy a long time ago. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] gain. >> seth: i hope these young twins are smart enough to know that you're the gravy train for twins who want to make cash. >> i made them sign a deal that a reunion of "grandfathered" 20 years later, they have to be on it. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. that's good. [ cheers and applause ] that's the way to do it.talk about "fuller house," congratulations. >> thank you. >> seth: already picked up for another season. >> yes, thank you.- what made you decide, not just you, but everybody. like what -- or i guess you personally to go back to it again? >> i felt enough time went by. spent a lot of time in the theatre out here. very proud of, you know, a good theatre career. >> seth: mm-hmm.n, leaving the show, i loved it, but i felt like i really need to do something
1:18 am
about. so i did "er" for years and, you know, and i finally felt, "okay, i've done enough stuff.o back to that." >> seth: had you -- when was the last time you watched it before you went back to it? >> never. >> seth: really? did you watch it when it aired? know, about six, seven years ago jeff franklin, the original creator, and myself we got together and said let's do a spinoff. everybody wants, you knohe show. so, i watched the pilot. it was pretty funny. >> seth: yeah. i'm glad you liked it. >> it was good, yeah. that's about it. know, messed her diapers. you'll have this. when's your -- when are you due? >> seth: soon. like two months.by act? do you know? >> seth: we don't know yet. >> have you checked it? [ laughter ] >> seth: we tried with the sonogram, i ters. >> right and she does them, yeah. >> seth: and it hasn't anything >> nothing. oh, yeah. right. >> if she's good, send her over, we'll make her money. >> seth: okay. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> seth: now the show, always beloved. obviously successful. maybe "full house," maybe safe to say never been a critical darling. darling?
1:19 am
>> seth: okay. now, i were talking back stage "fuller house," and again, a success, renewed for another season. >> right. >> seth: there have been some mean reviews.y. when it first came out -- and i was nervous about doing this again because, you know, it's so beloved as you say and i didn't wanna disappoint people.ught it turned out well and people seemed to like it. and i read a couple nice reviews. but then there were these -- and i have nothing against reviewers.reviews. "grandfathered," you know, got love letters. but these were so sort of whacky. and they're real. we were talking about them. did you -- yeah. we have here -- i want you to be able to look at them as well. >> all right. >> seth: 'cause these are actual --ther. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you want -- the "hollywood reporter." do you want me to read it? >> yeah. yeah. >> seth: "hollywood reporter" that there will be a more painful 2016 tv episode than the 'fuller house' pilot." [ audience boos ]s watching -- he was being mauled by a bear when he watched that. >> seth: you think that was -- >> "the revenant." >> seth: and then he was tying it to that. >> right. >> seth: yeah. episode two, daniel. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. the pilot --
1:20 am
painful i just said enough. >> yeah. i mean it's the pilot. i mean, how [ bleep ] rude, right? [ laughter ] >> rude. "washington post" said there's a point where -- >> give the guy's name, by the way. you're missing the name. >> seth: all right, hank stuever. >> okay. ] >> seth: i hope i'm saying that right, hank. >> doesn't matter. [ laughter ] >> seth: "there's a point where mes more like necrophilia and 'fuller house' immediately crosses that line." [ audience ohs ] that's pretty good, right? >> you got -- raise your hand. do you know what necrophilia is? [ laughter ]n it to them? >> seth: it means you have sex with a dead body. [ laughter ] >> i mean, how, i mean, that's what it means. like -- like -- he wrote that about kid's show. this is a family show. >> is necrophilia if you get screwed by a dead magazine? [ audience ohs ]be what happened. >> oh, come on. that's easy compared to -- that's a baby, to having sex with dead corpse.a.v. club" was nice, though. >> the "a.v. club?" what did they say? >> seth: the "a.v. club" was nice. >> yeah. >> seth: joshua alston said, "netflix's 'fuller house' is porn."
1:21 am
i mean what -- >> seth: it's a nice turn of the phrase.t nice. there actually, there's a real porn -- i shouldn't say this. >> seth: is there?eal porn that just came out. it's called -- [ whispers ] >> seth:"full of holes?" >> hey, woah! my hand to god. and it's really very specific with the catch phrases. >> seth: yeah. >> i think there's a lot of --if you're watching a porn parody you want >> i binge watched that. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah.re supposed to binge watch these things. >> seth: yeah. "new york times." >> what's the guys name? >> seth: james poniewozik. >> okay.series begins as a sitcom family reunion. it becomes self-conscious, dated, and maudlin reminder of of time in your inevitable demise." [ laughter ] >> would you -- like --, look, so he liked it. he like it. [ laughter ] >> okay, good. >> seth: that one, that's a -- t the most. >> right. james, it's "fuller house," not
1:22 am
but those are -- those would be ite those as a parody, right? >> seth: yeah. those they are real people. >> anyway, you know what, the fans loved thive days, it was released only four, five days ago. netflix said let's do a second season. >> seth: that's great. >> so i thank the fans for that. >> seth: where is -- speaking of the fans. [ cheers and applause ] of fans where is the craziest place you have run into a "full house" fan in your career?he drums, right there. [ laughter ] >> seth: just today? >> yep. >> seth: great. >> patrick, tell the story. one day they were d he was doing an interview, he was walking out, and they said, "what's new on the new album?" and he said, "john stamos is playing drums."ved him. and that went out that i was playing for the black keys. >> seth: wow. >> right. >> yeah. our records might be better if you played. [ laughter ] it. i doubt it. >> seth: well, congratulations on everything. >> thank you. >> seth: congratulations on and your new show as well. it's always so lovely to see you. >> thank you. >> seth: now give it up for john stamos, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] new episodes of "grandfathered" air tuesday nights on fox and "fuller hous netflix now. we'll be right back with
1:23 am
[ cheers and applause ] [burke] at farmers, we've seen almost everything, so we know how to cover almost anything. even "turkey jerks." [turkey] gobble. [butcher] i'm sorry!march fourth,2014. talk to farmers. we've seen almost everything, so we know how to cover almost we are farmerm the world's first antiperspirant
1:24 am
that release bursts of freshness all day. degree. it won't let you down. i have an orc-o-gram for an "owen." that's me. stacy drew. world with you. gram jet engines to talk and such. her biggest weakness is she cares too much. thank you. at ge. i'm a wise elf from a far off shire. and sanjay patel is who you should hire. thank you.riously though, stacy went to a great school and she's really loyal. you should give her a shot.
1:25 am
doesn't care if you run everyday, or if you're young or old. no matter who you are a heart attack can happen without warning. if you've had a heart attack,men can help prevent another one. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. bayer aspirin. .. friday night owls and saturday early birds... for the new sonoma goods for life collection... save 50 to 60% on everyday apparel for him and for her...the kids. save on sonoma for plus get kohl's cash. kohl's. well, this is the time. and your ford dealer is to get 0% financing for 60 months on a ford suv. that's right. just announced.rer...edge...escape... and expedition... are available with 0% financing for 60 months. ford suvs. designed to help you
1:26 am
selling brand. but hurry, 0% financing for 60 monthsmited time offer.
1:27 am
1:28 am
>> seth: such a pleasure, my friend. >> yes, sir.day? >> seth: now, you're right down the hall. and it's always nice to see you. i want to give you credit 'cause
1:29 am
stuff on the show. your ben carson, exceptional. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] now i've even read -- i even read today, because he sort of suspend his campaign, i read someone said the best thing about his campaign was the jay pharoah impression. [ laughter ] >> amen. >> seth: can you give us -- can you give us a little a farewell ou wanna know what's funny, seth? seth, it's not even an impression. it's just me being the creepiest thing i can think of. [ laughter ] because he just -- it is. [ laughter ] >> are you ready for this check up? i'm like, ooh. [ laughter ]you know? i would not want to get a prostate exam by that man. >> seth: no, i don't think so.ourse, there are also politicians you impersonate. the president, barack obama, that you got a chance to meet. >> yes, sir. that's right. >> seth: and here you are. there's a photo.with the first lady. >> yes. yes. >> seth: and this is you in the office. and that is the least 've ever seen on you. [ laughter ] i've known you for six years, i've never seen you wear -- >> i would never wear that >> seth: yeah. >> like --
1:30 am
[ laughter ] >> it's like very j. crewish. you know?. crewish, yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: now do you -- how was it, i mean, obviously you met them before. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: how it is when you meet someone like him that you impersonate? just hope that you don't say the wrong thing because you know that he has snipers and you don't want to >> seth: right. yeah. you would have to really have to cross the line for him to have a sniper take you out. >> yeah. but you know anytime you see f the secret service with, like, machine guns and you see them, like, playing you're like, "what's happening here?" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. that's not right. >> you don't wanna tick that person off. >> seth: you don't wanna tick that person off. >> i did not. but barack loves it, man. he loves it. he was like, "i -- well, i think it's pretty good. [ laughter ] i actually like what you do.you're playing me a little too straight. [ laughter ] i like to have fun. turn up, bitch." i was like, "whoa!" [ laughter and applause ] great. >> seth: now, i, you know, at
1:31 am
obviously a bunch of cast bunch of ex-hosts. >> yeah. >> seth: and i'm thinking for the people like you, you know, the dana carvey's, who do of people there that you'd done over the years. and you ran into some people you did. i know i saw jay z, talking to jay z.e a fan. >> he -- when jay z saw me at the after party at the 40th he fake jay z?" [ laughter ] i was like, "hey. what's up, hova?"like, "yo, man, can i get a picture?" he was like, "ha ha, no. no." [ laughter ] >> seth: no picture? >> "no, because, you know, i don't want like a lot of up to me. you know? i just feel like, yo, we all, we havin' a good time. yeah." >> seth: there you go. [ laughter ] >> i was like, "great."out eddie murphy? that was most excited -- >> oh, my gosh. >> seth: the most excited i was to see anybody. >> that was so surreal for me l know that eddie murphy is my idol. you all know that, right? >> seth: yeah. we all know that. i really look up to him. yeah, right. >> seth: i introduced you as that. >> yeah. [ laughter ] actually, louis c.k. brought me over to him.
1:32 am
like, "you wanna meet ed?" i was like, "sure."er there and eddie murphy was like, "oh, yeah. i know exactly who you are. yeah, exactly." [ laughter ] he said, " it's something about your will smith impression. your will smith is amazing. [ laughter ]t." [ cheers and applause ]d like, i didn't know what to say. i was like, "oh, my god, i don't know what to say." like he turned me into a dominican woman. >> seth: oh, no.ned me dominican. i was like, "oh, my god, mr. murphy, i love you. i can't believe this, papi. oh, my god, i love you" -- little weird. i'm going to get a drink. all right." >> seth: now, did you watch the >> i did. >> seth: you did. >> i thought chris rock did a very good job. >> you know, we actually -- yeah, yeah. definitely.nd applause ] >> seth: great job. >> yeah. >> seth: fantastic. five. but, you know, chris, i love chris but just the little that he has it just -- you know -- [ as chris rock ] under da sea
1:33 am
[ laughter ], wow. but he -- thank you. thank you. i feel like he did a great job with all the pressure that, you know, he had. like, i said this in an interview beeople are going to get mad anyway." >> seth: absolutely. >> "so say what ever you wanna say." >> seth: say what you want. now this i'm very excited about because i heard you have a new re not gonna be able to do on the show, they're gonna give it to somebody else. but oscars, we're talking about oscars, is it true you've got a dicaprio? leonardo dicaprio. >> seth: okay. all right. >> yes. >> seth: so this is -- this would be something you could do on radio. >> seth: yeah. >> wait, don't make me laugh. [ laughter ], well, it's been a long time coming. i finally won and, it's hello from the other side." i don't know.need work but you know, if i screen -- [ applause ] wait, wait, wait.ike he's, like, "you know, i should have won this like a long time ago.
1:34 am
know. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. >> i don't know what to say. >> seth: it's getting there. >> it's getting there.g there. and you've plenty, so you don't need it. >> so many. >> seth: thank you so much. always so great to see you.new film coming out, "get a job." [ cheers and applause ] >> "get a job." >> seth: march 25th? >> "get a job" comes out march 25th. yeah, it's me, miles teller, anna kendrick, bryan cranston. >> seth: fantastic.n. yeah. >> seth: all right, i can't wait. always good to see you, buddy. have a great show on saturday. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: jay pharoah.ill, future. we'll be right back.
1:35 am
1:36 am
1:37 am
eers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to tina fey, john stamos, jay pharoah, everybody. patrick carney, thanks for the week. 8g band. see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] arson: well, hello there. i'm carson daly and you have

98 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on