tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 21, 2009 12:05am-1:05am EDT
it's time now for tonight's "closing argument." as president barack obama tries to sell his healthcare proposal, he does so with dwindling support. just 49% of americans approve of how he's handling healthcare, down from a high of 57%. his overall job approval dropped from a high of 69% to 59%. the nation's struggling any isn't helping. he had an approval of 72% earlier, and now it's down to 56%. so we ask you, how much
confidence do you have in the president? tell us what you think by going to abcnews.com or on the twitter page. they're cute and cuddly and they're in extreme danger. we go to madagascar, the only place where lemurs exist, to see why they're threatened and what they're trying to doo tprotect them. that's our report for tonight. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. r rtfoishba n irand terry moran, and all of us at abc news, good night, america. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. this is the samsung jack, a brand new crossover device in the tradition of the blackjack and blackjack ii. its qwerty keyboard makes it easy to text your friends about the summer krush concert series, it started last friday with daughtry from seattle and it was broadcast here on our show.
>> we were there, jimmy! >> we were there, it was spectacular. >> oh, it's you guys, the father and son, don't tell me -- where aryou from? >> from brooklyn. >> you're following the summer krush series? >> yeah. we're going all around, but none are from brooklyn. samsung opening act contest where the bands submit their songs onlinefor a chance to perform at the summer krush tour and have their performance broadcast on the show? >> are any of the bands from brooklyn? >> i don't know. they might be. well, if you find out, can you let us know. >> yeah, let us know, because we're from brooklyn. >> we're from brooklyn! >> for more information about the summer krush tour and the opening act contest go to
www.samsungsummerkrush.com. "jimmy kimmel live" back with david arquette, jill wagner d linkin park. ♪ i got troubles, oh ♪ but not today ♪ 'cause they're gonna wash away ♪ ♪ this old heart ♪ gonna take them away [ quacks ] with listerine® whitening vibrant white rinse. who else could give you extra whitening power, kill bad breath germs, and even prevent stains?
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almost. new active 3 from nivea for men. mt. wan >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- david arquette. from "wipeout", jill wagner. cousin sal does funny things. and music from linkin park. with cleto and the cletones. and now, above all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
captions paid for by abc, inc. >> hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. welcome. that's very kind. i appreciate it. i don't want to bring anybody down tonight, but well, i suppose you heard the news by now, jon and kate are getting a divorce. if i seem tired it's because i have been up all night trying to care about this. if you aren't familiar with jon and kate, congratulations. but if you aren't, they have a reality show called "jon and kate plus eight" on tlc. last night they had a big, big show announcement on which they announced their separation. it's said to be amicable. he gets the 23-year-old girlfriend, she gets to keep the crazy hairdo.
they say it's good for your kids to announce your divorce on tv, it helps them adjust. if they do bring the show back, i don't know how they'd do it or what they'd call it because it wouldn't be jon and kate or plus eight. but if kate decides to do a spinoff, i have an ide ithat really think might be great. look at this. >> one house, two single mothers. and a crap load of kids. [ kids crying ]. >> octom and kate, plus 22. coming to tlc this fall. [ cheers and applause ] >> they can start their own city. in other extremely important celebrity news, the tour manager of the black eyed peas has been charged with assault for allegedly punching blogger perez hilton. the band in fairness does have the words black eye right in their name so you should have expected this. what happened unclear, but apparently will.i.am got in an argument with perez hilton about
some things that perez wrote about fergie the lead singer of the band on the internet. perez called her thugly which i think is gay for ugly and they argued. there was an alteration with the tour manager. even know he isn't one who hit him, perez lashed out at will.i.am in his blog. >> will, i'd have more respect for you in you hit me yourself, you're a coward. so after this happen, and when we leave and go too the hotel and will.i.am followed us to the hotel! which is where they were also staying. [ laughter ] >> and then the next day he followed me to the airport, where he had a flight. [ laughter ] here's what i think the strangest part of the story. the whole thing is strangebut after the fight, perez went on -- went on twitter saying somebody called the police. he tweeted the police. i don't know if that's ever been done before. thisorning the police in
toronto made the official statement. rez hilton's real name is mario and when the police spokesman says that that that's who he means here. >> at approximately 1:30 a.m. monday morning, mario lavandera exchanged words with will.i.am and fergie at the cobra nightclub. several minutes later, he exited the nightclub and he was allegedly assaulted by the band tour manager, mr. polo molina. witnesses said mr. molina's fist went boom boom pow, boom boom pow, on his cranium. no more questions, my humps. [ cheers and applause ] >> i mis -- i miss biggie and tupac.
>> and president obama talked about his own struggles to kick the habit of smoking cigarettes and here he is signing the papers. [ cheers and applause ] >> not a great message necessarily. but there's east up front about it. hey, here's a product that i think we can rally around. if you're a woman with large breasts, and i am, it's uncomfortable to sleep. i never thought about that, but breasts can get in the way. it makes it hard to lie down until this new product hit the market. >> millions of women suffer from a poor night's rest, sleeping on your side without proper breast support can be a major culprit. introducing kush, the comfortable nighttime companion.
anatomically contoured to support a woman's breasts. it maintains a more natural shape and it keeps you from side to side. the slip resistant surface helps to keep them positioned as you roll from side to side. order now. [ cheers and applause ] >> uncle frank, explain that product to those who don't understand. >> no, no. i understood it, but it's necessary sometimes. [ laughter ] >> ts is pretty good. a big international soccer tournament going on in south africa. the team usa upset egypt to stay alive. the teams that beat the u.s. last week, brazil and italy played each other on sunday, but the highlight did not happen on the field, but off it. [ laughter ] >> war paint.
he's about do battle with obesity and he's painting -- hey, kid, kid, ice cream not meant to be applied to the forehead. speaking of kids in sports, if you haven't seen this, it's all over the internet. it's something else. this is an eighth grader from ohio, his name is aaron shutway and check this out. >> look at that. that's a reason to rub ice cream on your head right there. he said it took him 30 tries to do it. so i thought it would be fun to see if our parking lot security guard guillermo could do the same thing in 30 tries. it wasn't easy, was it, guillermo? >> no. [ laughter ] >> here he is, he's got 30 tries. let's see if guillermo can make the same shot. >> hi, i'm guillermo. and i'm going to do what the kid just did. watch.
very nicely done, guillermo. guillermo, everybody. we have a good show tonight. on the show tonight, david arquette. from "wipeout", jill wagner. music from linkin park. and we'll be right back with hidden camera hijinks with cousin sal, so stick around. (announcer) what does greatness taste like? round of miller lite. (announcer on call) ...here it comes... watch this now... got it! my goodness! now you have seen it all. (announcer) that's what greatness tastes like. triple hs brewed. great pilsner taste. miller lite. taste greatness.
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♪ hi, there, we're back. joining us, actor/clothing designer david arquette. from "wipeout", the enchanting jill wagner is here. and later on, from the big premiere of "transformers, revenge of the fallen", new music from linkin park. that's the soundtrack there. tomorrow night, josh duhamel will be here. bat for lashes and shia labeouf, eric hutchinson, megan fox, david cross and june diane raphael on the show this week.
so join us then. i want to say happy birthday to our announcer, dicky barrett. >> thank you very much. [ cheers and appuse ] >> this is my cousin sal. who did you get dicky for his -- what did you get dicky for his birthday? you know, there's a whole story here, really. >> there is -- >> there is one every year, by the way. >> why? what are some of the gifts he's gotten you in the past? >> he got me a door mat that said knock on wood. >> because dicky is in the band, mighty, mighty bosstones. >> and when i first moved here, i lived in the hotel for four months and my birthday fell on the day i moved out of there and dicky got me a knife. my favorite is the his and her towels right after my divorce. [ laughter ] what's wrong with this guy? >> well, why don't you find a different --
but this year, dicky has a terrible -- it's called "chocolate pudding" and he sings about chocolate pudding. >> do we have a clip of the terrible song? >> we may have some. ♪ chocolate pudding ♪ >> a song about chocolate pudding. ♪ ♪ chocolate pudding >> so i thought -- of the thousand songs -- >> but the only one about chocolate pudding. >> the only one sal cares about. i thought it would be funny to buy him 40 containers of chocolate pudding for his birthday. i like the premade stuff and the powdery stuff. what did he do? i give it to him, he throws it in the garbage. right in the trash for the homeless people on hollywood boulevard. >> i thought it would be nice. >> we could have had dessert for homeless people. >> sal, i didn't keep the towels either. >> you don't have the towels? >> no. no. >> this is terrible. >> did you give him the chocolate pudding in a cup? >> i thought i did. yeah. he's a little drunk right now. >> that's not true either. >> we should probably move on.
well, let me just say, there's no more happier people in the world than the people in the impound lot after their car was towed. >> or dicky. >> or dicky. with that in mind,e sent my cousin sal to a tow yard to help cheer them up. >> hi, you got towed? >> yeah. >> why? >> ticket. >> tickets? what happened son? mom forgot to put quarters in the meter? >> how much is it going to cost me to get my truck right now today? >> can i show the boy a trick? >> want to see a trick, william? he's too old for tricks. >> he's going to love this one. >> want to see a trick? >> exactly. >> [ bleep ]. >> here's a quarter, you put it in the meter, right? you didn't put it in. [ laughter ]
look what it became. look at that. the bill for $400. [ laughter ] >> i'm not being friendly, but i'm in a hurry. >> i appreciate you're in a hurry. >> i think we're all in a hurry. >> raise your hand if you're in a hurry. >> you're talking to harry? >> one more time, raise your hand -- >> you take care of us -- don't worry about -- >> i need to know who's -- who's in a harry, not in a harry? >> excuse me, what's going on with this man? >> okay, how can i help you? >> i just -- >> what kind of car is it? >> a nissan maxima. >> color? >> red. >> red? the red maxima? >> yeah. >> come here, i have to talk to you. i wanted to do a quality road test on your call, so i took it to run some errand you know? so you know how they say never feed your dog milk shakes before
going on a ride? >> yeah. >> okay. bruno, you know? third milk shake and blah, dog vomit all over the place, okay? so here's what i want to do. i'm going to give you all the air fresheners. and we forget the whole thing. >> i want to see what happened to my car. >> what happened is your car smells like shamrock shakes. >> the dog -- >> i told you i had to -- i had to run a few errands in the city. >> wellyou drove my car to the city two hours. >> i didn't say two hours. you know, probably two hours, yeah. [ laughter ] >> is it -- >> my dog vomit -- >> oh. >> yeah, my dog -- there he is. there's the dog. >> yeah. >> blah. okay? i apologize. okay? >> okay. >> $300. >> $300 for what?
>> $300 to get the car out. >> i want to talk to the officer to see what's up with my car. >> the officer? okay. hold on. let me see what i can do. oh, i'm officer rick. is there a problem? [ laughter ] >> you give the problem to me. >> i gave you the problem? you give me the car to me. >> yeah. >> i didn't go in your car. sir, i just met you. >> can you explain to me please, i want to see my car, yes or no. >> yes, you up to see the car? >> open the door. >> okay. i'll go get the other guy to get your car out. to unlock your car. hold on. >> hello, sir, can i help you? >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> give me my paper. >> sir, you forgot the air fresheners. i take it he recognized me from
before. [ cheers and applause ] >> there you go, we'll be right back with david arquette. or to speak to someone directly say agent. agent. i'm sorry, i didn't quite get that. agent. i'm sorry... agen... spit out your stride gum and chew another piece, already! or we'll find you. got it. leave the ram. the ridiculously long lasting gum. stride sweet berry.
♪ hi, there, we're back. still to come on the show, jill wagner and linkin park. our first guest is from an acting family. everyone in his family acts -- even his dog -- was nominated for a golden globe. not true, actually. now he takes the world of fashion by storm with his new clothing line propr. please say hello to david arquette. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, happy birthday. i like that. how are you? how's everything? >> good. how are you? >> good. i saw you the other night at the lakers victory center at the staples center. >> we were partying it up. >> you were very happy. it seemed you were happier than most members of the team. >> i was extremely happy.
i had a great time. i had an aming season. i went to a bunch of the games there. my friend has -- my frie, he's around here somewhere, has courtside seats. i'm sort of like -- >> we made him sit in the back. >> yeah. yeah. i'm like the free loading jack nicholson. because we're sitting there on the floor, but i'm just -- >> you're a big fan of the lakers. >> i love the lakers. >> so much that they let you ride in the parade. in the bus. >> it's amazing. the last time we won, i took the subway downtown to see them there and i couldn't get close. but this year, we knew jeannie and tim and a bunch of guys from the lakers. they let us on the bus. i'm on the bus and i couldn't believe it. we're part of the parade and ice-cube is there on the bus with me. kind of surreal dream. but everyone in l.a. is like, yeah, all right. ice cube! who's this guy? >> oh really? >> what he is doing up there? but then as i'm going down -- but i grew up in los angeles, since i was 5 years old. as i'm going down, i see my best frinndheare t c arowd nd
idthkn dt own'as i w trehe i and the eyin'rgog crazy.>> ell, whae ve ae couple of pictures her yh.>> ok. yi got toakcte piur. wh>> icarure yodsri? en? >> my friend harlan and rio and brian, yeah. that's pretty much the kgb crew there. >> were they upset that you were on the bus and they were not? >> no. >> they were happy you were on the bus? >> it was insane. i was like -- >> did you stay out late and party? >> i partied like crazy. partied like crazy. it was insane. i drank vodka too much. kanye west played. it was a nutty thing. i met all the guys and the giants, and sasha let me hold the trophy. >> nice. >> it was insane. and so i got pretty wasted. >> does your wife -- >> my wife was not so happy. >> she was not happy? >> no. no. >> she was not there at the party? >> no, she was not. >> for those who do not know, your wife is courteney cox. is she amused by your
enthusiasm? >> she's very supportive. but it was like the end of the long season of a very enthusiastic lakers. in the morning, she was like, david, david, she was like, you are aware that you're not a laker? but i am a laker. >> you were on the bus. you were on the bus. >> i was on the bus. >> that's right. >> she was like, david, you celebrate too much. nobody celebrates as much as you. >> is that right? >> that's right. i mean, i think we all should celebrate. [ cheers and applause ] right now! start celebrating. oh, wait, can i talk about that perez thing -- perez hilton. >> go ahead. >> you know, the controversy with the gay rights, i love the gays. >> uh-huh. >> i love them. my sister is -- is very -- it's a very confusing situation. >> i know, yeah. yeah. >> but i've always grown up with so much love for the gays and the homosexuals, i love them.
but all the bible thumpers and all the people who want to change the whole world, what do they want? do they want no gays around? do you want no gays? how great are gays, how colorful do they make the world? you know what i'm saying? do all the christians want no muslims out there? really? no. we want them all. don't you want a colorful, crazy -- i think everyone should have the right to get married, except perez hilton that's the only person. [ laughter ] he should not have the right. everyone else though. >> well, for a lot of celebrities i think who perez hilton who -- i mean, he's constantly drawing genitalia on people's faces and to have another celebrity or a celebrity manager punch him in the face, a lot of people aren't so upset about it. >> that's hollywood. >> i hear there's going to be a parade. [ laughter ] >> that's a good parade. >> you don't like to see -- you don't want to see the guy get punched in the face though.
>> come on though. it's not like -- war is like something a little barroom brawl. i don't like violence. >> the point is, you celebrate too much. >> i do celebrate. i do celebrate with the gays. >> how did you celebrate father's day? how old is your daughter now? >> my daughter is 5 years old. she just had a birthday. >> cocoa is her name? >> cocoa is her name. wonderful. thank you. my wife also had her birthday. she's 35. but no, and then it was our ten-year anniversary as well. >> oh, vy nice. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. >> did you get anything good for father's day? >> you know what, the thing is, my kid stiffed me on father's day. nothing. >> really? >> not a note. >> nothing? >> nothing. >> not even popsicle stick -- >> no. we had to chase her around like 22 kids for father's day. it was madness. >> why? >> i don't know, because everyone has kids. >> oh. >> yeah, we ran around.
>> well, what guys want on father's day is to be away from their children and be left alone. true? >> now i know why this is. yeah. >> this is the truth. >> it took me five years to catch on. that's relaxing. >> father's day should be the one day you forget you're a father. >> i got it now, thanks, jimmy. >> i'm sure report that back to courtney and see how it goes over. >> i will. >> you won't be on the bus next year that's for sure. you like your contemporar p. diddy -- >> wait, sorry, but on mother's day i actually fell asleep. >> oh no. >> i took a nap. >> the whole day? >> i took a nap and she woke me up and she said, david, i'm taking a rain check on mother's day. >> did she cash the rain check in? >> i don't want it to sound like she's always nagging me. she's the greatest woman in the world. i love her -- >> you must be difficult to live with. >> i do a lot of celebrating -- you have a lot of enthusiasm. i would imagine that gets tiring
after a while. [ laughter ] >> let's hope not for the audience at home. >> no, no, not for us. for talk show purposes it works out great. >> i started out a clothing line. i broke up your set-up. >> you have an unusual style of dress. you're dressed in a number of unususual outfits. for instance -- >> that's when i was a cowboy ranger. rodeo ranger. >> what do we callll this? >> also rodeo ranger. >> also a rodeo ranger. >> this -- >> that was when i was a fireman. [ laughter ] >> a chinese fireman. >> look at how beautiful and normal courtney looks next to this madman. you know you look like -- you shoulde a monkey with an acaccordion player. >> like will.i.am's manager should come punch me. >> right in the face. this wealth of dressing to take experience and start your own clotothing company. >> that's right. that's right. actuly, i started it with ben harper and a guy named davidid bedwell --
he was behind the penguin -- >> ben harper e musician. >> yeah. he's a fantastic friend and an amazing artist in many respects. we started the clothing line called propr, and we spell it with no e. >> why no e? >> i don't know. we just didn't want the e. actually, we like the writing better. it's called proper -- proprclothing.com. you can check it out, we have a website up. we're starting a pop-up store that you open it for three months and it's in venice, so if you're coming to los angeles, stop by. i was painting there today, opening july 2. >> you should have a celebration of some kind. >> i will. i was actually -- i was celebrating earlier today. i was sitting there, painting, the fumes got to me. wow! >> there it is. david arquette. david's new clothing line, propr, is in stores now. when we come back, jill wagner is here. this is kate. last year,
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it is called "wipeout". watch it wednesday nights at 8:00 here on abc. please say hello to jill wagner. [ cheers and applause ] jill, i'm going to admit something embarrassing to you. >> you have a crush on me. >> yes. every time the mercury commercials come on, my friend dave and are sitting in the office and complete silence is in the office -- and dave, go ooh la la what a fox. i would agree. >> he told me -- >> he has a radio show. yeah, so we're smitten with you. so congratulations. >> thanks. >> not since the land o'lakes butter lady, have we been so enamored with a corporate spokeswoman as we have been with you in the mercury commercials.
>> well, thank you. >> are there other slobs that in love with you? >> cops seem to love me. but when cops love you, when you're speeding and you get pulled over, you don't get tickets. >> oh, really? is that right? >> well, these guys, there were two cops in a car and they came over, you know, one was all tough. he was -- he was going to give me a ticket. and he was like, you look kind of familiar, are you an actress? actually, sir, i'm the spokesperson for this car and if you give me a ticket i will never ever do the commercials again. he was like, hey, dude, andy, and andy, he came back around. he was like -- dude, you ought to see -- check out who this is. andy comes over, he was like, we can't give her a ticket. >> so you got out of it? >> i got out of the ticket. that's wrong though. >> i had a feeling you would have gotten out of the ticket one way or other.
by the way, you're saying it was wrong, but you essentially lied to the police. you committed a felony. [ laughter ] and now you've admitted it here. uncle frank, arrest this woman. >> no. no. >> all right. well, i think you'll be all right. >> oh, my gosh, there you are. >> there's uncle frank. >> that's not andy. andy griffith maybe. not andy. you're on this program "wipeout". >> i am. i am. >> now, this is a show on -- well, if people haven't seen the show, let's show a quick clip of it. i think you'll enjoy this. >> what is motivation? >> jill, is that a rhetorical question? either way, here comes the motivator. oh, good lord, oh, let's take another look. >> now, the idea here is you put obese people up on a high platform. >> no. >> and then you hit them with giant foam rubber things and knock them into mud. >> is that not funny to anybody else? >> it's funny. it's very funny.
>> it's -- just good old fashioned humor, you know? >> do they know when they get up on the thing here this is going to happen or do they think they'd bounce ball to ball? and make it through the obstacle course? >> i'm the one who has to convince them they have to do it. i'm the cheerleader, i'm the family member who couldn't come to the set. >> yes, you're the evil family member talking them into jumping off a cliff for no reason. >> absolutely. >> i want to mention one other thing about the mercury commercials. >> back to the mercury -- >> because it seems you have a habit of lying from what i have learned about you, because you told them before hand -- >> hence there goes my dating life. >> that you spoke spanish, true? >> okay. i'll tell you a secret. so they have a big casting for the mercury job, i had $150 in my checking account. i needed -- >> i would have given you money. >> all right. so i needed the money, so my
agent at the time was like, you know, they're kind of looking for a spanish-speaking person. if you can just fake it. i'm like, okay. >> so you wrote down that you spoke spanish? >> yes. completely. and so it hasn't come up until a couple weeks ago. >> they asked you to speak spanish? >> they did. i have been doing it for five years now. oh, i'm thinking i'm good. >> you'll be all right. >> they won't fire me. well, they made me do it. they didn't make me do it. i won't say that. i tried to do it and can you hear my accent? like do you hear -- i am from north carolina. and it just shows and it shows when you're speaking spanish, it shows when you're speaking french or when -- american. >> even english we can tell. yeah. >> so did you try to speak spanish? >> i did. i was like -- i don't know what i was saying. >> uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> i don't know what i'm saying because i can't speak it. >> but they dubbed it over for you?
>> no, but i'm trying -- i'm negotiating right now, can we get someone who knows -- >> good news because we have taken care of it for you. well, take a look. i don't think you have seen this, but here you go. look at this. >> ole. [ cheers and applause ] >> see? you're doing a nice job. and guillermo did a nice job also. jill wagner. watch "wipeout" wednesys at 8:00 on abc. we'll be right back with music from linkin park. the pontiac summer closeout is here; hurry to get the pontiac you want before they're gone. the price on the tag ! is the price you pay. get a 2009 pontiac vibe for $13,708 after all offers. or get 0% apr for 60 months
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if we don't act, medical bills will wipe out their savings. if we don't act, she'll be denied coverage because of a pre-existing condition. and he won't get the chemotherapy he needs. if we don't act, health care costs will rise 70%. and he'll have to cut benefits for his employees. but we can act. the president and congress have a plan to lower your costs and stop denials for pre-existing conditions. it's time to act. all right, time for musical
♪ and your voice was all i heard that i g what i deserve ♪ ♪ so give me reason to prove me wrong ♪ ♪ to wash this memory clean let the floods cross the distance in your eyes ♪ ♪ give me reason to fill this hole ♪ ♪ connect the space between let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide ♪
there was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned ♪ ♪ there was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow ♪ ♪ and the ground caved in between where we were standing d that i i get what i deserve ♪ ♪ so give me reason to prove me wrong ♪ ♪ to wash this memory clean let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide ♪
♪ ♪ in every loss, in every lie in every truth that you'd deny ♪ ♪ and each regret and each good-bye ♪ ♪ was a mistake too great to hide ♪ ♪ and your voice was all i heard that i get what i deserve ♪ ♪ so give me reason to prove me wrong ♪ ♪ to wash this memory clean let the floods cross the distance in your eyes ♪ ♪ give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between ♪ ♪ let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide ♪