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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 17, 2016 11:00pm-12:02am CST

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- billy crystal. from "how to get away with murder," alfred enoch. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from jeezy featuring french montana. now, stay right here's jimmy kimmel! ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome.
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thanks for watching. thank you for joining us on a very special holiday. today is national unfriend day, a a aka nud. we started back in 2010. we try to encourage those of you on facebook to decide which of your facebook friends are actually friends and eliminate those who don't make the cut. my mission is to simplify your life and to bring meaning back to the word been cheapened. also i like saying the word "nud." in is the social media equivalent of cleaning out your fridge. that guy who sat behind you in freshman biology class who keeps posting about his 5-k, he's a container of old beans. throw him out today. that woman from accounting who posted 30 pictures the of her bird today, she's a tub of cream
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it. unfriend every classmate, co-worker, neighbor, every lady from church who you don't know who has ever annoyed you. i won't be happy until you log into facebook and see a blank white screen, and that's the goal. today is not the day to make friends. [ applause ] not only is today not the day to make friend, i don't even want you to watch the show "friends" today. today is the day to unfriend. you don't are to stop at facebook. feel free to unfriend people in real you can even unfriend people you are actually friends with. just imagine the next time you see one of your friend, you'll actually have something to talk about. you'll be surprised by her new haircut or her relationship status will be unknown. maybe you'll even want the see photos of her vacation. probably not. but maybe. give it a try. i ask people on my facebook page today to tell me who they're unfriending and why they will be unfriending them. and we got a lot of responses. thousands of them.
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post pictures of their feet, toes, yuck. that's a classic. start with them. [ laughter ] anybody who has ever done that. from destin, i'm unfriending my mom because every time i post something i get a phone call asking what it means. mom is out. i'll be unfriending all of those who show off what their husband and boyfriend bought them and start their post like shout out to this amazing guy that just bought me this new purse. like stfu. fu guillermo, you know what that means? >> no. >> jimmy: all right. this is from rick. let's delete all friends that start a status with that moment when. definitely. mark writes anybody who uses the term butthurt, #fmattdamon. unfriend people who like
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for funeral selfies. not even joking. if your friends are dead, unfriend them, too. go on your phone right now and do it. nud it up tonight. you'll be happy you did. while on the topic of social media, a new thing that's spreading quickly. if you haven't heard of it yet, you'll have heard of it tomorrow. the trump is coming challenge. all you do is neesneak up on a group of people and yell, trump is >> trump is coming! >> trump is coming! >> trump is coming! >> jimmy: it's very simple. melania does the same thing when she hears him coming home at night. donald trump today had his first official meeting with a foreign leader as president-elect. he met with japanese prime
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the meeting actually got off to a rocky start. trump asked the prim if he could teach him how to do the crane kick from "karate kid." this is interesting, a top adviser to the prime minister of japan did an interview with reuters. i've been meeting with very distinguished senators and congressmen and they unanimously told me that we don't are to take each word that mr. trump said publicly literally. they said that unanimously? mind to what the president of the united states -- like he's a drunk uncle making a toast at a wedding. [ applause ] what our president says as kind of a riddle that no one can ever solve. [ laughter ] meanwhile, washington, d.c., the vice president joe biden had lunch with vp-elect mike pence. their spouses were with them. after ward reporters shouted questions at them from across the street.
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pence? >> no, i'm not. look, is he going to block you there? >> are you worried he will find out you don't like him? he can probably hear you. >> no, i'm not worried about it. >> finally some honesty in washington. mike pence is very busy right now leading the trump transition team. they have to hire a lot of people in a short period of time. and there were a couple of surprising names on the list. one of those is former texas governor rick perry who reportedly being considered to be secretary of energy, which is especially amusing to those who remember this, as you may recall during the 2012 campaign. he famously forgot the department of energy during a debate. >> you can't name the third one? >> the third agency of government, i would do away with education, the -- commerce and, let's see. i can't. the third one i can't.
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oops. >> jimmy: so not only did he forget the department of energy he forget it in a list of departments he would want to eliminate. in other words, he's being considered to run an agency he does not believe should exist. it's like putting voldemort in charge of hogwarts. [ applause ] but it does happen, don't be surprised if he does get the job. no american has ever served as energy secretary or she came in second to last on "dancing with the stars." the other guy i can't believe is being considered is mitt romney who is meeting with donald trump this weekend reportedly to talk about becoming secretary of state. mitt romney didn't even vote for donald trump. he came on our show once specifically to tell people not to vote for donald trump, and now he's meeting with him about a cabinet position. he's planning to wear his most apologetic dockers, from what i understand. [ laughter ]
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turns out he was just keeping it so he could offer them all jobs afterwards. maybe trump is just screwing with them. maybe he just wants them to come to the office and say, mitt, you're fired. fired from what? doesn't matter. get lost. [ applause ] meanwhile, hillary clinton was in our nation's capital last night. she was honored and she confd the past week she just wanted to curl up and never leave the house again. that's where bill stepped in and said, oh, yes, she will. at the end of the speech, clinton said america is still the greatest country in the world and then she got on a plane and flew to sweden where she will live out her remaining days on earth. donald trump -- it was report today that donald trump is planning a victory tour of the states he won. he's planning on holding a series of rallies starting some time after thanksgiving.
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it was all a prank. [ laughter ] he wants to make sure to tell people in person so he can see the look on their faces. this country is in a state of uncertainty. and i for one am preparing for the future. in fact i've already been to the future. you will see me on late night television doing the commercials that you only see on late night television. tom selleck does the reverse mortgage commercials. we'll need >> the following is a paid advertisement for transcontinental fidelity. >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy kimmel, host of amazing celebrity swimming pools. if you're like most people, you're worried about your financial security. but what if i were to tell you there's a way to guarantee a steady source of income with no money down, no collateral and no debt? sounds too good to be true, right? well, that's what i thought
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transcontinental fidelity. >> reverse, reverse mortgage? >> jimmy: yes, the reverse reverse mortgage. the concept the simple. transcontinental pays you a fixed monthly income for life. no strings attached. use it for whatever you like. then, after your death, your children will receive a bill for the total amount plus fees and interest. >> sounds great. what's the catch? >> jimmy: for you there is no catch. you're tapping into your kids's re let's be honest, they probably won't even want. >> i used my reverse reverse mortgage to pay for my cataract surgery and i got a boob job. thank you, transcontinental fidelity. >> jimmy: it's just that simple. >> what if my kids find out? >> jimmy: who's going to tell them? you? >> to sign up for your reverse reverse mortgage call the number on your screen. >> jimmy: we'll take a break.
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coming to an end. and this week unnecessary censorship, too. (cheering on tv) you may write me down in history, with your bitter, twisted lies. you may trod me in the very dirt, but still like dust, i rise. you can shoot me with your words... you can kill me with your hatefulness. but still, like air...
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: back on the show billy crystal. music from jeezy featuring french montana is on the way. yesterday "forbes" released their list of the highest paid reality tv stars. i think they do this just to make us mad. the top spot goes to kim kardashian west who took home $51 million this year. not only that, the kardashian jenners as a group made a combined $122 million this year.
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if there was in fact a god, turns out there's not. [ laughter ] [ applause ] meanwhile, the second richest reality show family, the robertsons of duck dynasty have announced that this upcoming season will be the last of duck dynasty. i guess it will be too hard for them to keep doing the show once donald trump appoints them all to the supreme court. duck dynasty, it's surprising because just a couple of years ago this show was a huge hit. at one time one of biggest shows on television, but their core audience dipped when phil family transitioned into a woman. and it turned some people off. so this will be it. maybe i'm confusing it with another show. i don't know. [ laughter ] it's hard to believe that a show about a family that makes expensive kazoos won't be back for a 12th season. by the way, i'm not great at math, but duck dines ay has been on for 11 seasons, they've done
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finally taking their revenge. [ laughter ] [ applause ] no survivors. okay. back to our program tonight. i didn't mean to get off track. national unfriend day. we received many, many facebook messages from people sharing their courageous stories. amy told us i'm already down to 66 people. i don't know if i can afford to unfriend anyone else. you know what, amy, you have to ask yourself this question, can you afford not to unfriend anyone else? please, give us just six more. sounds like an acid reflux medication. i'm unfriending people who lie about how awesome their spouse is every five minutes. i don't trust people like that. i don't either. ricky says one guy every year, one guy does a daily birthday countdown two months before his birthday. okay. unless that guy's name is jesus, he is unfriended. [ applause ] this is from heather.
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she's always having conversations under my post and answering questions that are directed to me. good. your mother isn't your friend. rebecca writes unfriending my kids because, frankly, they don't need to know which glass of wine i'm on. go talk to your snapchat, instagram friends. that's right, punks. finally i'll be deleting my landlord. the jerk keeps posting lease violations on my profile. right. good, yes, unfriend your unfriend everyone. drain the swamp! right? [ applause ] you know, national unfriend day is a day of empowerment but also a day of reflection. what that said it's time to take a look at all the facebook faces who are no longer our friends as of today.
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together ? ? like when you said you felt so happy you could die ? ? you were right for me ? ? but felt to lonely in your company ? ? but that was love and it's an ache i still remember ? ? you didn't have to cut me happened and that we were nothing ? ? i don't even need your love ? ? now you're just somebody that i used to know ? ? somebody ? ? i used to know ? ? somebody ? ? now you're just somebody that i used to know ? ? somebody ? ? i used to know ? ? somebody ? ? now you're just somebody that i used to know ?
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>> jimmy: should be in jail, never mind. good-bye all. and good riddance to you. all right. it is thursday night, oh, yeah, there's a lot of uncertainty in this country right now. but one custom i'd rather uphold is our weekly tradition of bleeping and blurring the big television moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is this week in unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ] >> at the same time my father if he needs to be a [ bleep ] he can be a [ bleep ] and i think this countui a [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ] you. >> there will also be no [ bleep ] tonight. at least not by me. i don't know about usher. >> college graduates are drowning in [ bleep ]. >> we couldn't keep our eyes off katy perry's [ bleep ]. >> what's on your mind right now? what's going through it? >> is football not the greatest
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>> two people that [ bleep ] me on the fox news channel are bill riley and -- i'm right in between them. >> happy thanksgiving my friend. >> what the [ bleep ]? >> i love black [ bleep ]. i love it. >> a lot of people do. >> can you imagine [ bleep ] a wild tiger inside your family home? >> forget the hair falling out. how does your [ bleep ] not fall off? i don't get it. >> my name is sponge bob squarepant i love [ bleep ] and i'm very good at it. >> jimmy: we have music from jeezy and french montana. from "how to get away with murder," alfred enoch is here. i'll be right back with billy crystal. [ cheers and applause ] are we on? ahem.
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>> jimmy: speaking of bad mustaches, cleto, what's going on? >> cleto: that's november. >> jimmy: are people still doing
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i... i... i wanted those... no you didn't... hefty slider bags cost less than ziploc. you'll thank me later. oh...
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>> jimmy: become back to show. the big surprise casualty from "how to get away with murder," alfred enoch is here. he was the one under the sheet. i didn't think he would be, but he is. then this album is called "trap or die 3." jeezy with french montana from
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i did a little bit of research today. turns out french mont is is not hannah montana's brother as i was told. next week before we head off to fight with our families, we'll be joined by shia labeouf, anna camp, and we'll have music from green day. and tuesday night our second annual red special to raise awareness for the fight against aids, live in-studio with bono, julia roberts, channing tatum, kristen bell, dj khaled, neil patrick harris, halsey, and the killers, too. that is tuesday night. a very big show for a very good cause. so please join us for all that. our first guest tonight is an emmy and tony award winner and nine-time oscar host with a new comedy tour called "spend the night with billy crystal" starting january 21st at the arsht center in miami. please welcome the billy against all others -- i [ bleep ] that up. the word arsht just sent me on
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billy crystal, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you think i'd be better at this by now. >> you had a little tongue twist. >> jimmy: i did. arsht really got me. >> it sounds like a jewish soup. doesn't it? have you had the arsht? or i have a pain in my arsht. >> jimmy: i care for the borscht. >> if i could unfriend somebody -- >> jimmy: who would it be? >> rudy giuliani. every shot of him on the campaign was this. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're 100% right.
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he's a really good guy. but he got nuts. >> jimmy: he seems like he got really, really mad at some point. >> yeah. there may be some rottweiler blood in his past. if you do that dna test, maybe -- >> jimmy: i do want to ask you about a photograph. now, giuliani is in this photograph. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: we have rudy there. he kind of has that look but a happy version of it on his face. donald trump. >> who? oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: michael bloomberg. president i assume you're playing golf together or it's a weird costume party. [ laughter ] >> this was when trump was a democrat and pro life and for the war. >> jimmy: what happened during that round of golf? >> i don't know. it was a big charity function that joe does every year. and mr. trump used to --
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no, no. listen, sincerely, we have to -- we all -- we're in this together. and we all have to do the best. we are americans. we have to do the best we can. and we will because that's who we are. >> jimmy: and what choice do we have anyway? >> yeah. and i -- i just really don't want to -- i don't want to. this is scary. >> jimmy: did you play against him? >> yes, no, tournament. we were a fivesome, which sounds terrible. but it was a fantastic fivesome. it was an amazing fivesome. a very smooth fivesome. and it's right near where president clinton lives in chappaqua. so he knows the golf course perfectly. so the three of us were together. joe torre and i and president clinton for the round. as soon as we start at the first tee, president clinton knows the
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what you want to do here is just lay up, hit a 3 wood. that's what you want to do here. every hole. now, what you want to do here, what you want to do here. by the fourth hole, you wanted to hit him with your putter. [ laughter ] what you got to do here, what you got to do, what you got to do here. so now we finish the first nine, and we're all of us a certain age, so we're in the men's room at the turn. j guy. joe's at the urinal. and i start behind him saying, what you want to do here -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] is just relax, joe, because you know, elvis died straining his stool. i don't know if you knew that. in the middle of this, clinton walks in. oh, yeah. >> jimmy: uh-oh. >> and it was like you know when you're in high school and you're smoking a cigarette and the teacher came in and you hear
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i don't think he heard me but the next week i was audited. so something may have happened. >> jimmy: you are about to start another comedy tour. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're starting it in miami. i butcher the name of the venue. but how do you decide where you're going to go when you pick 30 city, how do you pick the cities? >> well, warm. >> jimmy: based on -- >> it's january. >> jimmy: climate? >> so, yeah, i'm not going to be in the middle of south dakota in january. so >> jimmy: i got you. >> because it's a key state. >> jimmy: it's a swing state. >> it could determine the whole tour. [ laughter ] and i had toured there with 700 sundays. i had big success in palm beach. we'll do sarasota and clearwater. >> jimmy: will this be a traditional stand-up show? >> no, it's sort of like this.
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summer. we did six weeks there. it was unbelievable satisfying. >> jimmy: wow, six weeks in australia. >> yeah, they're phenomenal audiences. just the greatest. >> jimmy: how are they different than american audiences? >> they listen. they don't use cell phones. >> jimmy: for real? >> not once, not once in the six cities we were in three or four shows in each city was there a cell phone, that silly glow on somebody's face when you know they're not listening to you. jimmy, it was so great. i've done two years on and have been interrupted by phone calls in the middle of things. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> when i'm doing my show, i'm on stage and this woman in the third row is just -- you know, not even looking at me. so i start playing the show to her. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> everything just to her. and then she takes a call. and now she's on the phone. i'm looking at her. and she goes, i have to get awe, h -- off, he's looking at me. and in west palm beach where we're going to be there's a red
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i think someone's pirating the show, someone's videotaping the show. it throws you off. i go to the stage manager, i go somebody back of the house is taping the show. so get him and find out what it is. so i'm in my dressing room. a cop comes down with stage manager. was i right? did you get him? no, it's his life support system. [ laughter ] he's in bad shape, though, he' but he's a big fan. [ laughter ] true story. so i said, can't you put some tape over the red light? so i don't see it? he said, no, no, then the nurse will think he's dead. we got to keep -- >> jimmy: billy crystal is here. more of billy when we come back. [ applause ] [vo] how to go live if you're not outdoorsy, but sometimes you find yourself outdoors. sure, you're inside right now
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or...how did i get up here? well next time that happens just pull out your phone. open facebook, hit this, and go live. tell everyone where you are then maybe do a little spin to show off the view cuz you're outdoors. and now your friends are too
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is that coffee? nespresso. what else? my belly pain and constipation? they keep telling me "drink more water." "exercise more." i know that. "try laxatives..." i know. believe me. it's like i've. tried. everything! my chronic constipation keeps coming back. i know that. tell me something i don't know. (vo) linzess works differently from laxatives. linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation, or chronic constipation. it can help relieve your belly pain, and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass. do not give linzess to children under 6 and it should not be given to children 6 to 17. it may harm them. don't take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. the most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. if it's severe stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away.
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>> jimmy: we are back with billy crystal. [ cheers and applause ] he's about to begin a tour called spend the night with billy crystal that kicks off january 21st in miami, florida. you said it's going to be a talk show type of thing. but who will you be talking to? >> the first night will be the
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>> jimmy: oh, she's great. >> she's great. and she's funny and smart. and i'm thrilled. the show is very loose. she takes me through moments in my life, my career. it's very improvised and funny. i stand and i'm up on my feet about 85, 90% of the time. but the audiences in australia found that they liked it better than a concert, typical concert show because it was more intimate. they felt like they were sitting at a table. >> jimmy:h >> and it was great. and we show clips. >> jimmy: funny for bonnie after night 25 of interviewing you. do you have any questions for me? >> we go back and forth. >> jimmy: you do? >> it will be great. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about this amazing photograph. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: this was taken where? >> in sat sydney at a chinese restaurant called the golden century. this is not a friend of mine. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: how did you decide who got the eat who? >> well, i left that up to him. you know, they fish in waters off, you know, down in new zealand. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so everything's big. >> jimmy: everything's big and deadly. >> oh, there's incredible scary things there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they have nine of the most venomous snakes and the most lethal might be rupert murdoch. ug but the most fabulous people. we were in every city there. and they were great audiences and the food is amazing. >> jimmy: sounds like you're ready to move to australia. >> it was really weird because i was there during the conventions. >> jimmy: oh, you were? so was everyone asking you what's going on? >> what's happening there, what's going on there? and then, you know, they saw coverage of open carry, people with guns.
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>> no. not at all. >> jimmy: i would think if any place had that besides us, it would be australia. >> they're the most peaceful loving people. >> jimmy: they have so many snakes, they should be carrying guns. >> but they also have mandatory voting. you have to vote. we had 46% of our population did not vote. >> jimmy: i know. it's terrible. but it was great. so i started -- i have a little cold. sometimes you stumble into funny things. >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right. i woke up this morning and i was really nasal. 6:30 in the morning. when i got on the phone, i said, i sound like david gergen. this would be the oddest imitation of all time. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> but i saw him for months on cnn. he's probably the smartest of all people who cover everything. hillary clinton has to make up her mind [ laughter ] i mean, she has to make that speech of her life tonight. i believe that she will do that.
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she surrounded herself with people. and i believe this could be the time of her life. >> jimmy: that's good. that's very good. [ cheers and applause ] >> now, only about 800 people got it, but they loved it. >> then i bit my lip this morning. i was talking out the side of my mouth. oh, my god, i sound like david axelrod. and i'm not coming out and being like david frey or anything. but the democrats need a consensus of who they want to be. >> jimmy: that's very good, election. >> i'm done. that's it. >> jimmy: what are you doing for thanksgiving? >> they're all coming. >> jimmy: the whole family's coming? >> yeah. 30 of them. >> jimmy: 30 of them. will you cook? >> yeah, we do everything. we make the key things. >> jimmy: do you personally make any of the key things, like the turkey? >> no. i carve. >> jimmy: you carve? that's important. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you a good carver? >> yes, i'm a very good carver. >> jimmy: what's your strategy when you carve the turkey? >> anything goes.
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>> you have to cut it down the middle, peel the skin back, then vertically cut the breast out or if you're donald trump you just grab the breast because you can. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the tour starts january 21st in miami, florida. we'll be right back with alfred enoch. look how big my hands are. yeah. ooh. rawr. how much am i making for this again? hundred k. win or lose. total cake walk. ooh oooooooh! her last opponent is still in a coma. what? no. no no no. amy, get in there and fight for your life. isn't there an easier way to make a hundred k? sure. old navy's giving away a hundred k everyday through black friday. plus right now it's 40% off your entire purchase. 40% off!?! you keep in touch with me, girl. i'm going to old navy. ahh! it's 40% off your entire purchase right now.
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. may cause low sodium levels. the most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. trintellix did not have significant impact on weight. ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you. ?take a good look around.? wait... ?take a good look around...? ?and if you're looking down, put a little love in your heart.?
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?...kindness will be your guide. ? ? put a little love in your heart. ? ? and the world... ? ? bum, bum, bum. ? ? ...will be a better place... ? ? and the world... ? ? bum, bum, bum. ? ? ...will be a better place... ? ? ...for you... ? ? ...for you... ? ? ...and me... ? ? ...and me... ? ? ...you just wait... ? ? ...and see. ? oh, yeah. ? put a little... ? ? ...love in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? (avo) from make-a-wish and the aspca to meals on wheels and the national parks, the subaru share the love event is happening now and will have given ninety million dollars
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jeezy and french montana. earlier tonight our next guest was found dead under a sheet on tv. he has made a miraculous recovery to be here tonight. from "how to get away with murder," please welcome the newly unemployed alfred [ cheers and applause ] i have to tell you, you know, they kept me in the dark as to who our guest would be tonight. >> really? >> jimmy: today they told me it would be you. i can't believe you're the one they killed on the show. were you shocked by that?
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you're always hoping you are not going to be unemployed. that's part of it. >> jimmy: now i'm just remembering that you're english. you are. >> this is nice. i get to be honest now. >> jimmy: do you pretend to be an american? >> all the time. i go deep under cover. >> jimmy: besides the shows you mean? >> besides the show. >> jimmy: where do you do this? >> even when i went back to england. it was strange. >> jimmy: why would you do that? >> i w weeks. i have to stay in the accent. because i'm not very good at it. >> jimmy: you can refresh. >> and then it's gone. >> jimmy: i remember being very surprised when i met you and you spoke like this. >> that's great. i fooled a nice australian lady last time i was back. i was with my girlfriend in cornwall. and there was this australian lady sitting a couple of seats away who lent over and said, i think we're the other than foreigners in here.
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>> jimmy: so the fact that you're a compulsive liar the reason they killed you on the show? do you think that had anything to do with it? >> it made my continued employment unsustainable. >> jimmy: how do they tell you and how do they handle it? >> it was bizarre, right? because we knew someone was going to die from the beginning of the season. we're all hypothesizing who is it going to be, who will survive and who is not going to survive. and asia very nicely -- not very nicely as it proved, tried to convince me it couldn't possibly be wes. no, no, for this reason it couldn't be him. oh, great, so i'm safe. then i got a call from pete nowak, the chair runner's assistant, could you come in and meet pete? oh, okay. that was in the a normal occurrence. she sounded a bit sad on the voice mail. >> jimmy: then did pete come right out with it or how does he tell you?
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office, i think i know where this is going. >> jimmy: you said that to pete? >> no, no, i said i didn't. i thought that would be forcing issue. >> jimmy: got you, yes. >> trying to be a good employee in case he changes his minded. hi, pete, how is it going? put a smile on. >> jimmy: pete, just put a down payment on the house. so excited, really, you know? . that's the kind of thing where were you when i needed you? >> jimmy: was p was he nervous about telling you? >> he was. it took about 15 minutes until we got to it. all that time i was thinking, you're not making this easy for yourself, pete. just rip off the band-aid. >> jimmy: yeah, right. just come out with it. >> just come out with it. >> jimmy: after he told you, did you go right out and tell the rest of the cast? >> i did. >> jimmy: don't worry, you guys are all okay. >> good news, everyone. you're safe. it's me. i took the fall.
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in a way. >> like being on reality tv show. because every week you find out someone is safe or seems to be safe, then they say, well, we're not sure where in time we are. >> jimmy: that's the thing about the show. there's so many flashbacks, i presume you will still be on the show even though you're dead on the show. >> right. >> jimmy: this season when they tried to figure out who killed you, by the way, just tell us who killed you because screw them. they fired you. right? [ applause ] >> you know what? i've b really well the last couple of months because i thought, well, i'm a desperate man, i'm a man with nothing to lose. >> jimmy: yeah, right. you were a danger to everyone at abc right now. and you got the use that power for evil. >> no. you would have kept me in my job, now i think you're going to lose me the next five. >> jimmy: listen, you take them as they come and you go as they go. i just made that up. i'll have needlepointed on to something for you. >> i like it.
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>> jimmy: you will be on the rest of this season? >> i will. because we've got to find out what happened to wes. >> jimmy: right. well, i'm sorry you got killed on the show, but it's good that you're still on it. [ applause ] i'm trying to see the silver lining here. >> that's it. >> jimmy: albert enoch, everybody. "how to get away with murder" returns january 19th . we'll be back with jeezy and french montana. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. go to "sports-matter-dot-org" to
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there better be food up there are you're all fired! who ordered the food!? who ordered the food? don't shout at me, dude. paul ordered the food. but i'm paul and i didn't. if we don't feed her this instance, she's gonna fire all assistants! someone has to take the fall! tom orders on tuesday's. today isn't tuesday. it's not tuesday!? maybe the intern ordered? there's no way someone who's been here for three hours ordered the food and we've been here for three years
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you're my new ceo. don't worry i'm, i'm not going to fire you. jimmy john's concert series is brought to you by the dick's sporting goods found. go to "sports-matter-dot-org" to help save youth sports. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank billy crystal, alfred enoch and apologize to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "trap or die 3." with some help from french montana, jeezy! >> make some noise. i don't know what this is.
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>> let's go. >> one, two, three, go. ? heard that new jizzle boy he going crazy dropped some new i got them going crazy ? ? dropped it in the spot and they was going crazy brought it back from the top and they was going -- ? hey ? you know we going crazy ? ? it's jizzle from the block you know he going crazy ? ? when they play this that be going crazy ? ? said i'm just that i'm just that and this is me talking it ain't the liquor ? ? diamonds in my damn chain i'm going fishing i talk to your here like a politician ? ? told her give me brain take me you know that wanna try some new things ? ? you know she ate it up just like a cutter board i'm counting old paper
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? got a ticket oakland ? ? got a ticket fresno ? said she like the taste she drinking like prosecco ? ? i'm killing with the field i'm charles manson exactly what you want i'm strapped and handsome ? ? let's go ? ? heard that new jizzle boy he going crazy dropped some new i got them going crazy ? ? dropped it in the spot and they was going crazy brought it back from the top and they was going crazy ? real at the spoan real back on top you know we going crazy ? ? it's jizzle from the block you know he going crazy ? ? when they play this at the spot you know he going crazy ? ? montana from the block got em going crazy like it's still the 80's ? ? you claim that you the realest when you watch fugazy show me whose your jeweler man that boy's crazy ? ? she tried to charge me for
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up but this shorty kraez ? ? all i wanted was a mil and a new mercedes now i'm jumping on these like the new mcgrady ? ? you can't talk gotta show me ? the brown bags ya owe me ? ? take these then call me that brain freeze aint on me you can't hate can't hold me i whip foreigns like i stole ? ? heard that new jizzle boy he going crazy dropped some new i got them going crazy ? ? dropped it in the spot and they was going crazy brought it back from the top and they was going crazy ? real at the spot and they was going crazy real back on top you know we going crazy ? ? it's jizzle from the block you know he going crazy ? ? don't smoke up none my trees take me serious ? she thinking we together she delirious ?
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grave cradle to the grave ? who made this beat this sound like this was taylor made ? ? you know i'm in that just like expensive suits money i'm in that mansions just like the yeezy boost ? ? i got rich off butter that betty crocker it ain't my fault just like i'm silk the shocker ? ? heard that new jizzle boy he going crazy dropped some new i got them going crazy ? ? dropped it in the spot and they was going crazy brought it back from the top and they was going crazy ? real at the spot and they was going crazy real back on top you know we going crazy ? ? it's jizzle from the block you know he going crazy ? ? when they play this at the spot that be going crazy ? go crazy go crazy go crazy ? [ cheers and applause ] >> it's in the stores right now.
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this is "nightline." >> tonight the disappearing dad who vanished without a trace leaving behind a wife and two boys. >> he devastated us. he left us with nothing. >> their idyllic suburban life shattered. the inv now more than 20 years later a shocking phone call. >> he asked me if i knew who richard hoagland was. and i said, yes. >> have police solved the case and the missing father's stunning secret. plus, esther the wonder pig. adopting a piglet seemed like a swine idea until she grew into a whole hog. >> getting rid of her wasn't an option for us. >> this 650-pounder sleeps in a bed and opens doors with her

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