tv To the Contrary With Bonnie Erbe WHUT November 7, 2013 9:00am-9:30am EST
college not only listen the tour guide and talks the wonderful things about the campus they should be looking at the crime statistics which are no matter college you pick they already higher than you expect. and find and making sure that whatever schools your child picks they know that and take every precaution to make sure they are not a victim. it doesn't mean the victim is at fault. but look there are bad people out there. and they are going to do bad things. and sometimes it's rape and you should be doing whatever you can to arm somebody >> is it the college's burden to i mean, when you go to college presumably you are 18 of age, is it the college's job to protect you from rape? more than they are doing so now? according to the report is not very much >> i think colleges should be doing more. 18 is not old enough to drink anywhere in this country. if you are not enforcing those laws that is one thing. age for consensual sex.
>> colleges have a huge responsibility when i was in college just the other day, a few years ago, cheating was a big deal. we knew if we cheated we would be kicked out. i feel like men are getting message universities don't want to help you deal with t they want to cover it up because it's bad press. a c average is not acceptable >> and why not focus on men, educating men about what they need to do? men need to you had what you are looking for is not hear no. what you are looking for and is s an affirmative yes. and if you are not trying to get an affirmative yes, what you are doing may not be consensual. and when you see a buddy of yours doing what he should not be doing. we need to arm people with information. >> and i think everybody around this table would agree on that. but what is wrong with adding the part about warning college women of this statistics that
show a link between drinking and sexual assault >> what i think is that you can warn both men and women about it: the statistics say 80% of men and women were involved in sexual assault had been drinking. tell both. men and women hey when ruin eastbound rated your decision processing skills are not the best and for women you become physically unable to protect yourself at a greater degree. >> welcome to the panel, by the way. what else should colleges be doing to protect women that they are not doing? do they have to have armed guards at every -- in front of every dorm room? >> they have to be prosecuting these perpetrators accurately. and it's almost con des sending to have this approach towards women. if you get drunk you might get raped. if i get drunk a lot of things might happen but that is not my responsibility for getting raped. >> of women who are raped 72% of
them admittedly say they were intoxicated when it happened. so i do think you have to look at the link -- >> if you drink you should expect to be raped? >> no, but you should be warned if you are getting very, very drunk, you should be worried about when you are walking home alone getting mugged or raped or -- >> getting hit by a car >> exactly. >> and are we giving them a message? >> there ought to be zero tolerance for this on any college in society. there ought to be zero tolerance but there was a coyersening of our college campuses and a coursening of the culture. i don't think it's sad but i do not find it ovally surprising we are seeing the numbers. >> and what do you do about college campuses and authorities cannot be held responsible, i should not think --.
campuses have become some of the most valueless places in society. they teach anything goes and everything is great and whatever you want to do be it. they teach few values. and i think you are seeing what kind of society springs from that. >> beyond the values there are organizations like men can stop rape and a call to men that focus on educating men around what their responsibilities are as men to not perpetrate violence against women. that is where we need to have the majority of the focus. >> all right. let us know what you think. follow me on twitter or at to the contrary. from college safety to defining success. contrary to popular belief, men are more likely than women to define having a loving marriage and raising children as an integral part of having it all. that according to a study released this week surveying professional men and women about how they approach and view
success. almost 80% of men but only 66% of women equate having it all with being in a strong, loving marriage. a greater percentage of men include having children in their definition of success and the study found men now value work-life balance as much as women. >> as employers and institutions are thinking about their policies not to just think of them in the context of this and that everyone dealing with your children or dealing with your aging parent there is a very large population out there looking for flexibility. ask them about the importance of parental leave policies, as a corporate perk, 50% of women rated it as important but only 36% of men. that is a 20-point difference perhaps fewer men do not expect that their ployer is going to deliver all the benefits. the study also found that women
are more likely to expect they will make a number of career and job transitions on their professional paths: it sounds a little bit like the study found that roles are reversing where men are expecting marriage and family as part of the success package. more of them, many more of them. and women are saying, geez, if i want to get ahead, it means no marriage no family. >> well, there have not been a lot of studies done how men feel about these things. so it's hard to compare to how men felt before versus how they feel now. as far as how women feel, now i think that this is a result of society saying things like lead in we were talking about that cheryl saying girl power more power to you if you want to have a career and you don't want to have family >> she has both. i'm not comparing her to the average woman. she is multigazillion air. but part of her message is
don't have kids it's have kids and participate more at work >> sure. but it can be difficult as a woman to do that. if you are going to get pregnant and have a child you have to take off work to do that and then moving forward it becomes more difficult because you have to take care of the baby and i know you can talk about this i don't have kids but it does become it is a difficulty for women in their careers if you have kids it is a fact. >> i think i was surprised by the findings and thought they were fantastic. i thought it was reflective of the fact that men are more involved and invested in their families and the care taking roles that were the only option women had for centuries. but it's reflective of the fact that today in america more women are the primary bread winners in their families. so it's great. work-life balance i think there should be more flex hours and such to accommodate working mothers that is a different issue >> not only to accommodate working mothers but working
fathers. that is the big take away. men want to have the flexibility to spend time with their children. and women are not just saying we are rejecting the idea of marriage per se, they are saying really it's more important to have someone who is kind and loving and supportive they don't necessarily need to have a ring on it. >> one other possible interpretation and the one the city folks told us in the interview, was that women just don't expect corporations to provide family friendly benefits. and so they are thinking if i want to get ahead, it means no family. what do you think about that? >> well, i think even with benefits i think at the end of the day sometimes meetings go long and they don't move recite talls because your meeting goes long if there's flexibility at if you are going to be a senr executive it's not to be on call all the time. so i think women may be more
than men understand the challenges there. but look, i think it's also something men are much more engaged with their families or at least sharing the load. >> younger men >> my dad was extremely engaged with that. but i think you have more women today who are not married or don't have families and not necessarily by choice but that is what happened and you are seeing more of a balance coming from that, too >> i see to a certain extent it is by choice. i was recently married but we don't have kids and we are not planning to have kids anytime soon and it has everything to do with the career ladder thing. i know it will disrupt my career or his career and that is something that we have to take into account there. when determining whether we are going to have them or not or when. >> but do you see having kids ultimately as part of your definition of success?
>> no. i personally don't think it contributes to the definition of success. is it something that i can see as being fulfilling? yes. but i wouldn't define it as something that has to do with success. i see success and think most people in my generation see success as specifically something that has to do with your career and that could be what we are seeing too. when asked about success they probably associated that with career versus. >> i know moms raising their children are just as important as any career they would have >> and one problem we are not talking about is people and women and partners are accommodating corporate america instea of corporate america accommodating women. and the fact that more women are in the workplace. and we need flex hours. and when i am the park i see more dads there than i think anybody in my mom's generation did. a lot of my friends and family were shocked how much my husband does and i was like i would not have married him if i knew he
was not going to help with the load. it is a huge load. >> a lot of companies especially the yahoo! and mesh sa they -- they said forget about flex time we need face time >> and she say working momment i also heard she did not not because of her approach to working from home but the company was in shambles and she needed to get it off the ground. and guess what? profits are surging. it's been rebranded. hallelujah to marissa meyer. and she did not want to take maternity leave but she did not comment on it. she just went to work. >> behind the headlines a american bride in kabul this memoir is the story of a young american jewish woman who fell in love with an afghani man and returned to him with his own country.
phil phil says there is a message in her story. he was very westernized in the west. but when he returned home to claim his place in the scheme of things, given that his family was powerful, he had to follow their customs. he probably hoped that i would adjust. this was madness. >> when chessler arrived in afghanistan with her new husband her passport was confiscated. she faced the represssive norms all women face in afghan sovment she had no idea that she would become a prisoner of his family >> i became a citizen of no country. and the property of a poll lick mist -- pole lick mist afghan family, he did not mention after a two-and-a-half year courtship
he never mentioned his father had three wives and 21 children. and that i would be expected to live with my mother-in-law. what? and that i couldn't go out on my own. after a few months she tried to return home. she tried to escape to the american embassy but officials could not help her without the passport. so she sought help and found it from the wife of a german diplomat who arranged a flight out. but chessler fell extremely sick with hepatitis >> at the last moment my father-in-law came and he very carefully intently said i hear about your little plan and i think it's better if you leave on an afghan visa for reasons of health. and he gave me a visa. and i understand in retrospect that he probably didn't know why
his son for whom he had such high hopes had brought home a jewish girl from america. >> whatever the means for her escape shoifs overjoyed back back home. i had to fight it out in america when the state department, the american state department saith said well your visa is up you have to go back to afghanistan. i said no. i will chain myself to the statue of liberty. >> she has written numerous books and campaigns against the treatment of women in the arab world. but some feminists liberals and critics bristle at her strident condemnation >> feminists have understandably been reluctant to finger point. because they don't want to be accused of being racists or being islam folks and therefore they have lost an extraordinary
opportunity to make common cause with muslim feminists and muslim dissidents with whom i work who are anti-fundamentalism. >> she writes: i have offended everyone. a "boston globe" critic says this is true. but chessler does not shy away from her committed attack on islamic society. >> i am second wave feminist leader. and i think the difference is that i'm certainly antiracist but i am not a multicultural relativist. i don't think all cultures are equal. i don't think it's ok to stone women or force them into poll lick mist marriages polygamist marriages. >> is it racist in your mind to talk the way she does about islamic culture? >> with all due respect to her story, i think that the blight
of afghan women and girls is so real and belongs at the top of u.s. foreign policy priorities. i don't understand what her goal is. i feel like her story the does is perpetuate negative scary stereotypes of the angry scary muslim man and all the problems there in the muslim world. and it's dismisssive of the fact that you cannot generalize all muslim countries, all muslim men and all muslim women >> i agree you cannot generalize. i was in turkey and it has to be one of the most westernizedy than many. and there was no doubt that men run that society. it doesn't mean that you are casting a stone at everybody but it puts out front that there's nothing better than a personal story to make people engage with the issues and for real especially when it's told by an
american >> i feel like chessler is casting a stone and the story was pg version of betty and not without my daughter which was released in the late 80s early 90s which was the same story about an american woman who married an iranian man and went back and her passport was taken away. she was trapped for longer. 10 weeks seems like a baby moon. so i feel like the story hasek does of a story we've heard. >> what is wrong you are right in the state department is probably continuing what hillary clinton and condoleezza rice before her started really targeting afghan women trying to help them have more freedom environment laws that are in their favor. why is it bad if she points out her experience? again i'm not -- i have not read every word i don't know what words she uses. but to tell the story >> i think it's fine for her to
tell the story and i think that it's going to sell books. she is being sensational about it. i think it needs to be more balanced. but there is good work. let's not forget that 60% of afghan women have medical degrees and then you know, over 20 years of war, civil war, the u.s. occupation, the russian invation so much happened to the society and kabul is very different from peshawar the border. i wish she was a little bit more inclusive and academic and factual about it. i have been a feminist policy analyst in washington d.c. for a decade. i've worked on noble peace prize campaigns and let me tell you there is a lot of good work being done and the entire attitude is we're fine in america and let us help the brown women people over there.
>> she was telling a story that happened decades ago. so i think we have to draw attention to that that now, there is a lot of good work being done. but that may not have been the case when she was there. we are talking about the 60s. >> she does not have that tone this is my story maybe things are better now >> and having read the book -- what i have read about the book, i would like to point out she is not something that she is talking about 10 years ago but decades ago. >> i've traveled wildly in turkey, egypt, lebanon, it goes on and on. and i see a lot of women there or i have met a lot of women there who are wearing the blackout fits and following their husbands and not allowed to go out alone unescourted and they tell me they are -- that
islam is liberating to them. and that does bother me. quickly because we have 20 seconds. but what is your response? >> i write so much i think we have to be careful that we do not generalize and acknowledge the fact of course there's problems. there's problems here. >> and we talk about that a lot >> and like we live in the confrontation with patriotry is something that women's movements all over the world are trying to conquer. >> that is it for this edition to the contrary. follow me on twitter and visit our website web web where the pbs.org/to the contrary. and whether you think things are to the contrary, please join us next time.
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travel back in time to 1893 to the village of lyn in the province of ontario, where a scotsman named joseph hudson starts a farm, and he gives it a scottish name: burnbrae. "now, what has that to do with women entrepreneurs?" you're saying. well, burnbrae is still there in the village of lyn, the very same farm bearing the very same name, doing the very same work, except that it's grown to be huge. it is now specialized in eggs - very innovative in that field, as you're about to discover. and it has grown to a size where, for instance, a million eggs are laying hens for burnbrae. but they're also doing it for the ceo, margaret hudson, great-granddaughter of joseph hudson. yes, it has lasted that long and done extremely well. here's margaret hudson. margaret hudson, i've been eating burnbrae eggs. this is not an endorsement, but in a way it is. they're very nice. been eating them for years, and when i would see the name on the cartons, i thought, "ah, some marketing guy, some marketing genius, cooked that up, did
a little focus group." but actually no, it's an authentic name, burnbrae. - yes, it is. - how did it come about? - my great-grandfather came to canada in the mid-1800s, and he purchased our 100-acre farm in the village of lyn, near the town of brockville, back in 1893, and he named the farm burnbrae farms, and it's scottish for "creek and hill." - incredible. - or "hill and creek." - and that farm still belongs to your family and to the company, and still produces eggs. - yes, we do. - and you have become, of course, one of the major egg producers, certainly in canada, and therefore in north america, but that wasn't the... it was a regular farm originally. who got the vision down the generations? you're fourth generation. who got the vision to specialize it? - so, my great-grandfather was a dairy father, and my grandfather was a dairy farmer, and it's a really great story how we came into the egg business, because my dad, when he was 13 years old, he had a poultry school project - well,
agricultural class project - and he introduced 50 chickens to our dairy farm, and from that, the largest integrated egg company in canada grew. so, it was my dad and my uncle grant and my grandfather who helped to add poultry to our dairy farm, and the business just grew and gradually took over as the primary enterprise. but we still have cattle. back then it was dairy cattle; now we have black angus cattle on the farm in addition to poultry and horses, so we do have some hobbies there as well. - and poultry farms traditionally, one would think: chickens to eat, right? broilers. to specialize a farm or an agricultural organization on eggs, that was pretty original of you. i mean, eggs were not the focus of any one company; they were usually part of a mix. but your father or grandfather saw clearly that this should be the focus. - yes, that would have been back in the late '40s and '50s, and
i think we did have more of a breeder bird early on that could... that laid eggs but also could be harvested for meat, but gradually they shifted into primarily egg production. we did carry some broiler birds for a period of time, but we sold them off a long time ago. - and it's a huge operation, and it's not limited to that farm. you have other... you have in vermont, and near toronto, and... - yeah, so, we have 7 grading stations, 4 farms that we own fully across canada - so, one in quebec, 2 in ontario, and one in manitoba - and then we also have a processing plant in manitoba, one in brockville, and one in quebec as well, so we have 14 wholly owned operations, and then we're also partners in some other farms. - and the size of the operation, it became obvious to me when i read that you had a tragedy at some point - you had one of your installati