Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 18, 2016 11:37pm-12:37am MST

11:37 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- lester holt. from "children's hospital" actor and comedian rob corddry.
11:38 pm
josh freese. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] excellent to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. today is martin luther king day, and donald trump saw his shadow this morning, so that means six more weeks of racism. [ laughter ] then we're good. [ light applause ] after that, we're good. last night was the final democratic debate before the iowa caucuses, featuring hillary clinton, bernie sanders, and um -- fitz from scandal, i think? [ laughter ] former maryland governor martin o'malley got less than half the speaking time of either bernie sanders or hillary clinton in last night's democratic debate. and i've got to say, it did seem pretty unfair. >> we'll begin with 45-second opening statements from each candidate, starting with governor martin o'malley. >> thank you. [ dinging ]
11:39 pm
we do have to move on. >> seth: that was too short. that wasn't a full 45 seconds. [ laughter ] according to a new report, the most googled question about bernie sanders during last night's democratic debate was, "why is bernie sanders so popular?" though that may have been because one person googled it a bunch of times. [ laughter ] [ applause ] how is this happening? i don't understand. [ applause ] i am not satisfied with this answer. during last night's democratic most speaking time, as well as the most speaking volume. [ laughter ] bernie sanders talks like he always has a bad connection. no, i said milk! [ laughter ] i want you to pick up some milk! and break up the big banks! [ laughter ] chris christie said in a new interview that if elected president, he would not let the government influence what is served in school cafeterias.
11:40 pm
[ laughter ] just blending in. south carolina senator lindsay graham on friday endorsed jeb bush for president. though i imagine getting an endorsement from lindsay graham is about as helpful as being backed up in a bar fight by lindsey graham. [ laughter ] i've got your back, jeb. i'm going to smash a beer bottle on somebody's head! [ laughter ] i love a bar fight! executives from chipotle have announced their restaurants will be giving away twice their usual amount of free food, as part of a -- yeah! [ cheers and applause ] yeah, clap it up. clap, clap, good. as part of a promotion to restore the company's image following its e. coli outbreak. [ laughter ] yeah. [ laughter ] ooh. yeah, burrito -- ooh. although i'm not sure it was a good idea to call the promotion free-coli.
11:41 pm
there we go. [ applause ] and finally, a canadian man was arrested last week after allegedly trying to sneak into vermont while pulling a sled holding almost 200 pounds of xanax. but considering the severity of the charges, he seemed really chill about it. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great, great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] fresh off moderating last night's debate, he's the host of "nbc nightly news." anchor lester holt joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] very excited to talk to him. also, he is a very funny man. a fantastic actor. he's the star of adult swim's "children's hospital," rob corddry joins us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have music from the grammy-nominated duo of brothers osborne. just a fantastic group. [ cheers and applause ] looking forward to that.
11:42 pm
that, on saturday iran announced that it would release four americans who had been in prison there for years as part of a prisoner swap with the united states. and if you thought this would be an occasion for bipartisan celebration, well, you'd be wrong. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ applause ] so republicans have been complaining for months that the obama administration wasn't doing enough to secure the release of the prisoners. ted cruz called it a disgrace for this administration to abandon americans, and jeb bush said it was appalling there's been no effort to try to support the americans held hostage by the iranian government. and jeb knows no effort when he sees it, because that's his campaign strategy! [ cheers and applause ] but it's a good question. why hasn't there been more of an effort to get these americans back? >> after more than a year of top-secret negotiations, four americans who spent years held prisoner in iran finally headed back home. >> this prisoner swap is a culmination of 14 months of secret diplomacy. >> this a good day. >> seth: of course, a good day for obama only lasted seven minutes before republicans
11:43 pm
[ laughter ] which they did, because they were outraged obama traded seven iranian prisoners to get the americans back. >> we shouldn't have to swap prisoners. these folks were taken illegally in violation of international without condition. >> this should have happened years ago, george. somebody said they got seven, we you know, in terms of what the deal is. been told, go capture an american. you want to get terrorists out of jail, capture an american, and president obama is in the let's make a deal business. >> seth: that's right. every bad actor has been told to capture an american. which explains why when i left my apartment this morning, steven seagal was hiding behind a corner with a net. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i see you, steven seagal! i'm not steven seagal, i'm -- i'm the dog catcher. so republicans slammed obama for the deal, even though none of the iranians released were charged with violent acts or terrorism. but in classic trump fashion, donald wanted credit for the
11:44 pm
>> i have been going wild for years about the prisoners. i call them the hostages. our four people. so i've been hitting them hard. and i think i might have had something to do with it. >> seth: it's a terrible deal we should be ashamed of, and not to brag, but it was my idea and you should thank me for it. [ laughter ] so is trump at least willing to share some credit with obama or would he admit that he never thought this would happen. >> you said that was never gonna happen. you blamed obama. ready to give him credit? >> absolutely not. and i never said it was never gonna happen. >> seth: trump never said it was never gonna happen. that's not his style. >> we can talk about the fact that we have four wonderful people over there, and frankly, they're never going to come back with this group. [ laughter ] >> seth: another contradiction from america's favorite contra-dickhead. [ cheers and applause ] so the gop is in agreement. the only acceptable deal is you get the prisoners back without having to give up anything. a negotiating tactic known as
11:45 pm
just give it to me now! [ laughter ] well, it just so happens the obama administration had another negotiation with iran last week. on tuesday, two u.s. ships and ten sailors were detained after entering iranian waters due to what defense secretary ash carter called a, quote, navigational error. should be noted, there was one female sailor on the boat who i'm assuming was the one saying, "just admit we're lost and ask for directions." [ laughter ] either way, no one is disputing that the error was with the u.s. navy. so what do you have to trade for ten sailors, and how long will the they negotiations take? >> ten american sailors held by iran are safe tonight, freed earlier today. quickly sparing another major international crisis. >> the sailors were released less than a day than after they were captured. >> seth: less than a day. so the obama administration basically amazon primed home ten sailors without giving up anything. surely republicans weren't upset with that.
11:46 pm
took a photo of the sailors on their knees and to ted cruz, that photo was an act of war. >> if i am elected president, no serviceman or servicewoman will be forced to be on their knees in any nation that captures our fighting men and women will feel the full force and fury of the united states of america. >> seth: so the full force and fury because our boats drifted into their waters. see it all in the new vin diesel movie, force and furious eight, iranian drift. [ laughter ] [ applause ] so critics of the obama administration like to frame every concession and any deal as an embarrassment to america. but you want embarrassing, how embarrassing is this for iran? according to "new york times," of the prisoners agreed to in the swap, none of the seven men had chosen to return to iran at this time. we negotiated your release. we can't wait to see you back in iran. um, yeah, we might stay here? if that's cool with you? and when it comes to embarrassment, iran also has to
11:47 pm
it's being reported by the associated press today that two iranian poets who were facing prison sentences and 99 lashings each escaped iran and were safe in an undisclosed country. imagine having to give a press conference admitting the poets [ laughter ] they overwhelmed us with metaphor. [ laughter ] so this is a good reminder that iran is still a repressive place where hard-liners arrest poets and believe you shouldn't do the rhyme if you can't do the time. [ laughter ] what's that? i'm fired. i agree. [ applause ] it's important the u.s. continue to foster relations with the moderate factions. at least dealing with moderates is still an option for us. who knows how long it will be an option for them? this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ]
11:48 pm
degree gave women a to understand how much they move,... and created degree with motionsense. the world's first antiperspirant activated by movement, it has unique microcapsules that break with friction to release bursts of freshness all day. keeping you fresher with every move. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degree.
11:49 pm
give extra. get extra. (air horn, trap door opening) rootmetrics, in the nation's largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. verizon won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. at+t got thirty-eight, sprint got two, and t mobile got zero. verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. at+t got text. stuck on an average network? join verizon and we'll cover your costs to switch. [ male announcer ] digiorno? or delivery? digiorno? or delivery? taste for yourself why the shortest distance between you and a delicious, fresh-baked pizza, is your oven. thankfully, it's not delivery. it's digiorno. james drove his rav4 hybrid into the frozen wilderness. the scent of his jerky attracted a hungry wolfpack behind him. to survive, he had to remain fearless. he would hunt with them.
11:50 pm
he'd form a bond with a wolf named accalia... ...become den mother and nurse their young. james left in search of his next adventure. how far will you take the all-new rav4 hybrid? toyota. let's go places. indulgence... no longer comes at a price. well, actually it does... but it's just $9.99 new hot shot whisky chicken applebee's grill & bar favorites made a little better for you. featuring new dishes loaded with flavor, and all under 650 calories. we were below the 88th southern parallel. we had traveled for over 850 miles. my men driven nearly mad from starvation and frostbite. today we make history. >>bienvenidos! welcome to the south pole! if you're dora the explorer, you explore. it's what you do. >>what took you so long? if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico.
11:51 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] so wonderful having them here each and every night. also, sitting in all week with the great 8g band, he's one of the most recorded drummers in the history of music. josh freese is here this week! [ cheers and applause ]
11:52 pm
records and been a member of such iconic bands as perfect circle, divo, sting and weezer to name just a few. thank you so much for being here, josh. such an honor to have you. >> good to have him here. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, in a game show or trivia contest for every question there is a correct answer. but we here at "late night," we believe that there isn't just one answer to every question. there are other ones that maybe aren't right, but aren't exactly wrong either. and to prove it, it's time for "we also would've accepted." [ cheers and applause ] all right, here's how this works. we ask the question, we give the correct answer, and then we reveal any other answers we also would have accepted. first up, here's a good question. what iconic piece of american real estate is currently on the market for sale to the highest bidder? the correct answer is "the playboy mansion." we also would have accepted the white house. [ laughter ] [ applause ] we also would have accepted the white house. speaking of politics, here's a
11:53 pm
race. recently there have been rumors that what person may attempt a serious campaign for president. the correct answer is michael bloomberg. jeb bush. [ laughter ] [ applause ] so far, just a rumor. still waiting on jeb bush. another interesting question about the 2016 election. according to a new report, millennial voters want what to be the main focus of the 2016 election? the correct answer is clean energy. police reform and gun control. we also would have accepted "whatevs." [ laughter ] [ applause ] we also would have accepted "whatevs." meanwhile, in legal news, a federal court ruled last week that wearing these as a protective form of free speech. the correct answer is unearned military medals. we also would have accepted crocs. [ laughter ] still legal under the constitution to wear crocs. meanwhile, here's an interesting question. according to a new report, january is the busiest time of year for what? the correct answer is online dating. we also would have accepted
11:54 pm
[ laughter ] [ applause ] this next one is a -- what i like to call a real puzzler. [ light laughter ] what they put in the script for me to say. [ laughter ] my writers know how i talk. it's a puzzler, you guys. classic seth meyers. [ laughter ] a ft. worth man recently fell into a large construction hole while walking to purchase what? the correct answer is lottery tickets. we also would have accepted glasses! [ light laughter ] [ applause ] show me glasses! in media news here's a puzzler. again? [ laughter ] fox news owner rupert murdoch has announced plans to do what again at age 84? the correct answer is "get married." we also would have accepted shed his exoskeleton. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
11:55 pm
protects him like a cicada. here's a story from across the pond. another expression i use, "across the pond." [ light laughter ] the puzzler as to why they put that in there. [ laughter ] a british man has started a petition trying to ban what from movie theaters because he says it takes too much noise during films. the correct answer is popcorn. we also would have accepted kevin hart. [ laughter ] kevin hart. or as the british call him, "a noisy little chap." [ laughter ] and finally, a missouri lawmaker introduced a bill last week that would require lobbyists to report sex with legislators as what? a correct answer is "a gift." [ light laughter ] we also would have accepted "disgusting." [ laughter ] we also would have accepted that. this has been "we also would've accepted."
11:56 pm
why fit in when you were born to stand out. the 2016 nissan altima has arrived. all right everybody, if this doesn't get your toes tappin',
11:57 pm
we love, love, chocolaty, creamy, with a little something extra.
11:58 pm
cookies or almonds. yumminess. hershey' s is mine, yours, our chocolate. ahh... yeah! ahh... ahh... ah. you probably say it a million times a day. ahh... ahh! ahh... ahh! but at cigna, we want to help everyone say it once a year. say "ahh". >>ahh... cigna medical plans cover one hundred percent of your in-network annual checkup. so america, let's go. know. ahh! and take control of your health.
11:59 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our first guest is the anchor of "nbc nightly news," which airs weeknights here on nbc. lester holt! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so happy to have you here! >> i am delighted to be here. this is a real thrill for me. >> seth: fresh off the debate. there it was, last night. of you in the show tonight. that is big. >> yeah, that was a big deal. >> seth: now do you get nervous >> i actually was, you know? at this point in my career, not a lot of things make me nervous, but that did. it's kind of out of my wheel house. as a journalist, as an anchor, amount of control. you're by the desk. you've got, you know, your but this, you have your questions, you can prepare only so much.
12:00 am
three people that want to be president of the united states. >> seth: yeah. >> and they're going to do whatever they can to get across their message, as you and i would, if we were running. >> seth: if we actually thought we would be good at president. [ laughter ] >> there's that. >> seth: there's that. now, i will say the part that most people and myself included were impressed with that seems to be the hardest moderating debate is keeping people to time and cutting them off. is that nerve-racking, when you are saying one of these three people might be the leader of the free world and i'm just going to tell them, like, "we're done with you right now." [ laughter ] >> the thought went through my mind. you couldn't see on tv, but out of the corner of my eye were lights, and the candidates could and it would flash yellow with a warning and then red, and then and, you know, i wanted to use a little discretion, which i did. most of them actually went over time. but at some point, you have to call it. at the same time, you're like, "well they really deserve to be able to complete their thought." but sometimes the thought ends next thought. so that was tough. guy. as it went to commercial, martin o'malley was asking for >> yes. >> seth: and you just cut him
12:01 am
[ laughter ] >> i'm hearing in my ear, "go to a commercial break." and the sad part of it, not only did i cut him off, but i cut him off to promote, "coming up, anger in america." [ laughter ] >> seth: i hear that. good example. now, martin o'malley got less time than the other two candidates. one could argue that based on the polls, that makes sense. is it true that he did approach the table you were moderating from? >> at the commercial breaks -- i didn't know what to expect in the commercial break. a couple times, he walked up. he made no requests. he simply -- he came up one time and said, "how are you doing?" and i'm like, "great, how are you doing?" [ laughter ] and he came up another time and suggested he would have like to have gotten that conversation regarding a question on the heroin epidemic in the united states. but he was very friendly. you know, the candidates kind of during the commercial break, many of them would disappear. >> seth: disappear? just walk off stage? >> yeah, you know, use the restroom or wherever. they would walk off stage. so very often, the stage manager would say, "30 seconds, coming
12:02 am
and there was no one out there. and i look at andrea like, "is there a plan for this, if nobody comes back?" [ laughter ] >> seth: i think the plan is you say, "i believe that bernie sanders was here." he would -- >> he would say this. exactly. >> seth: one of the things now is moderators of debates are in a strange way being reviewed as much as the candidates. were you aware of that going in? >> i was aware of that. at one point, one of my producers came out, and she wrote something on the pad that says, you know, "good twitter stuff." only i didn't bring out a phone or anything and i still have -- >> seth: that's a good call. i think if you were reading tweets about you during the debate -- >> "hang on one second. this is a good one or a bad one." no, but i recognize having watched the debate cycle that the moderators are judged just as much as the candidates are. and that puts a lot of pressure on it as well. what we try to do is just prepare in a way that i wanted to sit there on behalf of the voter. and wanted to shine some light. "what are the real differences between you folks on these issues?"
12:03 am
that. and that's what i set out to do. i try to stay out of the news as much as i could. >> seth: now, you did a great job, but with all due respect, year, you did the easy one. [ laughter ] >> you think? >> seth: yeah. kind of listen to one another whole time. >> there's that. defense of the republican candidates, nine or ten is so much harder to get your point across. and i feel like there's a lot more desperation to jump in, to cut people off. hypothetically, would you want to moderate a gop debate? >> i would. i mean, i love the political process. i love all of this stuff. it's noisy and it's messy, but it's what we do in america. and i think it's -- personally, i enjoy it. i would love to be in the seat for a republican debate. >> seth: one of the things that happened last night, hillary clinton seemed to tie herself as often as possible to the obama administration. >> she did. >> seth: were you surprised, or was that something you maybe saw coming?
12:04 am
back at what they have been saying over the last few weeks. we knew where the points of disagreement were, and we fashioned our questions to try to shine light there. she kind of hinted at it, but i didn't expect in a big way that she did, in which she kind of aligned herself with the president. i think that's, you know -- i'm not a political analyst, but i think she was trying to put herself in a position where, listen, this is the tried and true course for democrats, and perhaps painting sanders as more risky. that's the only thing i can imagine. but it did come off as a bit of a surprise. >> seth: now, you have obviously been doing this for a very long time. i was in chicago, recently, and stopped by the nbc station over there, and your son -- >> you said hi to stephen? >> seth: yeah, he is the anchor of the nbc morning show there in chicago. >> he is. >> seth: was that something he always wanted to, to follow in your footsteps? >> when i used to do "weekend today," he was in high school, and he would come down to work. "can i come to work with you?" i said, "dude, it's 4:00 in the morning. you're 17. who does that on a saturday?" but he would come down hang around, and then he got into college and ultimately started working at the campus tv
12:05 am
>> seth: now, as a father watching your son doing something, and you also worked in chicago as well, so a lot of similarities. do you find yourself giving him notes, giving him special advice? >> when he first started, i would watch on the sling box, and i would call and say, you know, "you're doing this, you're doing that. you probably should say it this way." basically, i was given him a lesson how to be lester holt. [ laughter ] and i realized early in my career, i didn't like that. because when someone says, "don't do this." >> seth: yeah. >> and you're so conscious, what am i doing with my hands. so we settled into a nice rhythm where i try to give him advice about the business from my years in the business, navigating newsroom issues or, you know, career advice, that sort of thing, in terms of his performance as an anchor and doing his day-to-day job, i stay out of that. >> seth: that's good. >> he's much better than me, anyway. >> seth: that's fantastic. i should point out, my father who never had a talk show, gives me a ton of advice. [ laughter ] >> really? >> seth: yeah.
12:06 am
very good advice, very good advice over the years. now, this is -- i'm so happy to have you on as a proper guest. but i also want to thank you, because very early on in our show, you came on, and we filmed something together called "forced friendship." the idea was because i had a new talk show, nbc was forcing me to make friends with other people at the network. and you and i went out -- and i think my favorite thing is, we went out and took a carrousel ride together. [ laughter ] >> i remember that, over in bryant park. i remember this. >> seth: and the conceit of course was that i was the goofball -- i'll sign that for you. [ laughter ] and that you were very -- you were very serious news man. obviously, we can see having you here tonight, you're not as serious as we made you to be. but one thing was we had lunch together, and in this you only it. that's true. you want to correct the record. >> i didn't want to be biased. to be biased, so all you eat is undressed lettuce. >> i wanted to correct the record. that was hilarious, but i kept thinking, "people are clicking this on, thinking, maybe that's that uptight." no, i'm not. >> seth: okay. >> although i should point out, we never did become friends.
12:07 am
it did not work out. >> i love and watch your show. >> seth: i think we're a lot closer after this than we were after that. >> i would agree. >> seth: so if anyone is in bryant park if you see us on a carrousel, no that it's official now. we're officially -- >> we're beyond dating. >> seth: great job. great job last night. and great job every night on "nightly." everybody, give it up for lester holt. [ cheers and applause ] "nightly news" airs weeknights on nbc. we'll be right back with rob corddry. [ cheers and applause ] man, i'm glad aflac pays cash. aflac! isn't major medical enough? no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses?
12:08 am
at blurlbrlblrlbr!!! here's a little healthy advice. take care of what makes you, you. right down to your skin. aveeno daily moisturizing lotion with 5 vital nutrients for healthier looking skin in just one day. aveeno . naturally beautiful results
12:09 am
this turkey is natural? yeah. it's too good to be true. don't say that. it's called the 60 second six pack. it's called the abinator. it's called the pulsator. (buzzing sound) (groans) finally, something that's not too good to be true. it's oscar mayer natural turkey breast,
12:10 am
[ cheers and applause ]
12:11 am
emmy-winning actor who you know from shows like "ballers" and "the daily show" as well as the "hot tub time machine" movies. he is the creator and one of the stars of "children's hospital" on adult swim, which returns for its seventh season this friday. let's take a look. >> you are moaning in your sleep while you are supposed to be performing surgery. >> oh. no! wait a minute, you know what? this is a dream. yeah. someone is going to wake me up in a few seconds. watch this. a couple seconds. nah, it's real. this kid is dead. time of death, 11:20 a.m. >> seth: please welcome to the show, rob corddry. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's some drummin right there. >> seth: that some real drummin today over there.
12:12 am
>> seth: that's some drumming. [ cheers and applause ] >> i walked into his dressing room, thinking i was walking into mine, and he's like, drumming on all of this stuff. and he's like, "come on in, man! it's okay!" [ laughter ] >> seth: did you think all of our dressing rooms had an extra drummer? >> yeah. every dressing room but mine had a drummer in it. >> seth: congratulations. seven years now -- >> thank you. >> seth: seven seasons of "children's hospital." for those uninitiated, this is a parody of all the sort of medical dramas you can see on television. >> it started out that way, but like those shows themselves just recycle their own ideas and each other's ideas. so, you know, that well got two. >> seth: gotcha. >> so now we're just -- we're meaningless. completely -- basically just like, "well, if we do whatever out of ideas."
12:13 am
insane medical show. i was watching one of the episodes this season. it's the 1,000,000th patient >> yeah, 1,000,000 patients saved. >> seth: but they shoot confetti which goes into the chest cavity and kills the patient. >> which, when you're designing a hospital, seems stupid to put confetti up above the open >> seth: but you also would be excited to save a million >> you're gonna want some kind of fan fair. >> seth: right. now, throughout the course of the show, you have always had great guest stars. one of them, jon hamm. jon hamm plays a character named derek childrens. explain that real quick. >> derek childrens, he's the illegitimate son of the hospital's founder, mr. childrens. [ laughter ] >> seth: you would assume a children's hospital because it's a hospital for children, but no. >> it may or may not be. i don't know. [ laughter ] >> seth: and you created it. >> it's only seven seasons in. we'll tackle that someday. >> seth: jon hamm, heart-breaking for people like you and i because he's very funny and very hand some. >> no kidding, right? >> seth: what's it like having
12:14 am
>> he's the funniest person on set. infuriating. [ laughter ] you know he's the voice of mercedes. >> seth: yeah. >> and he was -- we were just hanging out on set, and he got a phone call and he went, "oh, sorry, hold on, this is probably mercedes." [ laughter ] and you -- when they get those jobs, it's the dream job. >> seth: yeah. >> because you get like a new car every year. >> seth: right. >> i pulled up next to this awesome mercedes, and i walked in, and i was like, "hey, john. i think -- i think someone spray painted a dick and balls on your mercedes." [ laughter ] and without missing a beat he did." [ laughter ] and i was like, "dammit!" >> seth: not fair. >> "stop it!" >> seth: not fair. now, you play a doctor. we see from your clown makeup, you heal with the power of comedy. doesn't always work. there are a lot of -- >> it's a falsehood. >> seth: it's a falsehood. there are new-age, new ways to
12:15 am
day. have you ever in real life tried any of these? >> oh, yeah, i'm a sucker for that [ bleep ]. >> seth: sucker for medical trends? >> sucker. as a matter of fact, the other day i gave my wife -- really stressed out from the holidays. and i'm shooting "ballers" in miami, thank you. cpcp no, please. dwayne "the rock" johnson is not a good friend of mine. it doesn't matter. she was -- she's got the kids alone, and so she finally had a night where she could kind of let loose. >> seth: gotcha. >> and she woke up super hung over. and so i got her this new thing, where you can get an i.v. sent to your home. a nurse comes and hooks you up to an i.v. >> seth: for a hangover? >> for a hangover. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> yeah, they don't even try --
12:16 am
it's like, "it's for a hangover, you piece of crap." >> seth: so did you do it? did you send one to your wife? >> yeah, i sent one to my wife. she was like, "i feel like a million bucks, so --" >> seth: so she signed up. she said it works. >> she had a great time. >> seth: okay, great. >> so that day, i was like, "well, this sounds like a great idea." and i'm a scientist. >> seth: sure. [ laughter ] >> so i decided to experiment with it and proceeded to get [ bleep ] up. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. for science. >> for science. because i'm not going to half-ass it. i've got to get good and drunk if i'm going to get this thing for myself the next day. so i wake up the next day more hung over than -- and i'm 45. like, my hangovers feel like cancer. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's awful. i -- so i called them. i mean, the night before, i, you know, schedule the appointment.
12:17 am
like, shaking on my couch, waiting for them to show up. no-show. [ laughter ] >> seth: the i.v. guy never showed. >> no-show. >> seth: oh, no! >> yeah. >> seth: so you were the dummy -- [ bleep ] >> i had a drink. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, you went old-school. >> well, come on. when you're like -- yeah. >> seth: you -- well, thank you for doing a science experiment for all of us. >> you're welcome. >> seth: i guess the control group is making sure the person shows. >> exactly, yeah. >> seth: you mentioned dwayne "the rock" johnson. you mentioned "ballers." >> did i mention dwayne "the rock" johnson? >> seth: you did. you mentioned both. [ cheers ] you mentioned miami. >> i usually don't. i usually don't. >> seth: i would imagine, look standing next to jon hamm is one thing. standing next to dwayne "the rock" johnson, who often has his shirt off, how was that for you? >> he's a well-built fellow. >> seth: he's a well built giant of a man. >> i don't get in my head about it. but -- the other day, we had to shoot a scene where we're both entering a sauna, and we're just
12:18 am
so i was like, you know, a really insecure dude would be in his trailer doing tons of pushups. get a nice pump going. get a little veiny. [ laughter ] >> seth: sure. >> and i'm comfortable with my physique. but i prefer to have my shirt on most of the time. and so i was like, "i'm not going to do that. i'm just going to be myself." it's even funnier if i, you know, look a little dumpy. [ laughter ] and so i get in my trailer, and i get to my -- i'm putting on the little nudie shorts, and i have a robe. and before i put the robe on, i catch myself in the trailer mirror, and the trailer mirror -- >> seth: not good mirrors. >> it's like a circus mirror. >> seth: yeah. >> i look like a clown cartoon character. people who have trailers don't really care how they look. >> people who -- yeah, exactly. and so i immediately did, like, [ laughter ] >> yeah. shaking the whole time, too, by
12:19 am
>> seth: and then when you walk out, do you think the rock with his knowledge of exercise knows you just did 50 pushups? >> i'm sure there's some sign, like -- you know. i was totally red and out of breath, so -- [ laughter ] anyone would know that i just did 20 pushups. >> seth: i don't blame you. in the shadow of dwayne "the rock" johnson, we would all behave poorly. >> he's a -- i look horrible standing next to him. >> seth: that's all right. i think we all would, though. i wouldn't beat myself up. i want to ask you one last thing because you worked on "the daily show" -- you worked on "the daily show" for a very long time. >> yeah. >> seth: and the final "daily show" last year, they had all of the correspondents back, and you actually got to go back. how was that experience? >> it was great. it was very moving. >> seth: i imagine. >> in a way that surprised me. because i had never really -- it's hard to really comprehend my time on that show. i -- i was backstage, and we were there. and i'm sort of at the back of this tiny hallway, and we're
12:20 am
dance in front of bruce springsteen. and i was like, "oh, wow, this was something." >> seth: yeah. >> you know? and so, you know, as time goes on, i realize just how important that show was to me. >> seth: yes. well, any time you can do comedy and the payoff can be dancing in front of bruce springsteen, you sort of must be thinking, "this went very well." >> is bruce coming out here? are you -- >> seth: i have a very -- >> oh, my god! >> seth: no, he just cancelled. he just cancelled. i'm so sorry. [ laughter ] congratulations on that. and congratulations on season seven. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: rob corddry, everybody. "children's hospital" premiers friday night on "adult swim." we'll be right back with more "late night." performance... ...reimagined. style... ...reinvented. sophistication... ...redefined. introducing the all-new
12:21 am
agile handling. available 12.3-inch navigation screen never has luxury been this expressive. this is the pursuit of perfection. [ male announcer ] digiorno? or delivery? digiorno? or delivery? taste for yourself why the shortest distance fresh-baked pizza, is your oven. thankfully, it's not delivery. it's digiorno. father, why can't we have directv like the macgregors do? we're settlers, son. we settle for things. like having cable instead of directv. hey, jebediah, how's it going? working the land. hoping for a
12:22 am
all right. so we have to live with lower customer satisfaction? i'm afraid so. now go churn us some butter, boy, and then make your own clothes. yes, sir. (vo) don't be a settler. get rid of cable and upgrade to directv. call 1-800-directv. the more you move the more you sweat degree's motionsense technology keeps you fresh with every move. it has unique microcapsules that contain fragrances. friction breaks the capsules... ...releasing bursts of freshness all day. whether you're meeting a deadline... ...grabbing a bite... ...or heading out for the night. motionsense, protection to keep you moving. degree, it won't let you down. hey there, tiny... what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you're a genius, tiny! this apple sauce is the bee's knees. the cat's pajamas! hits ya right in the kisser! emm. redd's apple ale.
12:23 am
the microsoft cloud allows us to access information from anywhere. the microsoft cloud allows us to scale up. microsoft cloud changes our world dramatically. it wasn't too long ago it would take two weeks to sequence and analyze a genome. now, we can do a hundred per day. with the microsoft cloud we don't have to build server rooms. the microsoft cloud is and re-interpret our business. this cloud helps transform business. this is the
12:24 am
>> seth: welcome back, everybody! i wanted to take a second to talk about some of the exciting guests we have coming up next -- i'm sorry, hey, gene, gene. gene, what's going on? >> what? >> seth: well, why did you let go of the camera? >> oh. yra you don't know? i won powerball! [ laughter ] so that means you don't get to tell me what to do anymore! [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, well. congratulations, gene.n'e i mean, i'm super happy for you. >> cram it, you little turd! [ laughter ] i've been waiting a long ass time to tell you off. >> seth: turd? >> no more do i have to stand here and point my camera at your tan little head. [ laughter ] >> seth: jeez, gene! tan little head? >> i don't have to follow your rules no more. rules like, "don't smoke in the elevator." [ light laughter ] "don't ask the guests for blood samples." [ light laughter ] "and don't hide in matt lauer's dressing room anymore." [ light laughter ] >> seth: those are everybody's rules, gene. s, >> and on top of all of that,
12:25 am
saxophone with the band!at m >> seth: i didn't even know you played saxophone! >> i don't. >> seth: gene. [ laughter ] gene, i'm happy for you! i'm happy for you. do you have the ticket? i mean i'd love to see it.e >> i got the winning ticket right here! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and powerball number 6! [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, gene. [ laughter ] gene, buddy. that's not even close to the winning numbers.e i'm pretty sure you just read a post-it note. [ laughter ] >> oh. oh, oh. oh, seth! have i told you how beautiful you are today? >> seth: oh my gosh. that's enough. i should have known you only had like $80 over there. we'll be right back with music from brothers osbourne!th [ cheers and applause ]
12:26 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tonight's musical guest kicks off 2016 with a grammy nomination for best county duo, group performance, and a hit album "pawn shop." performing their grammy nominated song "stay a little longer," give it up for brothers osborne. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, something like a strong wind is coming over me it's got a hold of me thinking and doing things i shouldn't be i really shouldn't be
12:27 am
call leads to one more what you doing right now leads to one more trip to my side of town and you walk right in to one more here we go again one more drink leads to another you slide up close to me tearing t-shirts off each other your hands all over me i tell myself i'm not in love but one more time is not enough one last kiss and then you're a goner i'm lying here wishing you could stay a little longer so, calm and so cool yeah, i try to be like it don't bother me the last time was the last time until i'm all alone then i'm picking up the phone yeah, it's one more call leads to one more what you doing right now leads to one more trip to my side of town
12:28 am
to one more here we go again one more drink leads to another you slide up close to me tearing t-shirts off each other your hands all over me i tell myself i'm not in love but one more time is not enough one last kiss and then you're a goner i'm lying here wishing you could stay a little longer one more drink leads to another you slide up close to me tearing t-shirts off each other your hands all over me i tell myself i'm not in love but one more time is not enough one last kiss
12:29 am
i'm lying here wishing you could stay a little longer stay a little longer wishing you could
12:30 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: brothers osborne everyone! the debut album "pawn shop" is out now. my thanks to lester holt, rob corddry, brothers osborne, josh freese, and of course the
12:31 am
stay tuned for "carson daly."
12:32 am
12:33 am
12:34 am
12:35 am
12:36 am


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on