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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  January 17, 2022 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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the news continues streaming, good night captioning sponsored by cbs >> virginia has a new governor, glenn youngkin, the republican wasting no time acting on campaign promises, signing an executive order to keep what he calls c.r.t., critical race theory, out of virginia schools. attacking c.r.t. having a ripple effect across the country, including the banning of books, fiction and nonfiction, that delve into issues of race and so much more. >> looking to learn about american history that doesn't make you feel bad? time life books presents the glenn younkin collection. each week, you will receive a new youngkin-approved text which avoids addressing racial inequality, like "a raisin in the fun," "to thrill a rocking bird," "12 beers a dave, and "i know why the caged bird sings
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karaoke." you and your children will love learning that racism is over, ry other titles include "the color urkel," "the autobiography of malcolm xmen," "roots, turnips, beats, and other root vegetables," and even "the complete works of tony morrisoni." >> hi, i'm tony morrisoni, and you will get all my stuff -- like "beloved," that's about my ex-girlfriend gina. point is, take me back, gina. i'm running out of words to say i'm sorry for kissing angela. >> so start avoiding addressing racism today, with the time life glenn youngkin collection. remember, those who don't know history are doomed to be governor of virginia. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert!
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tonight, we welcome senator elizabeth warren and musical guest ingrid andress with sam hunt, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) >> stephen: my goodness! my goodness! my goodness, my friend. ( cheers and applause ) please have a seat. please have a seat. all my friends, welcome to "the late show."
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i'm your host stephen colbert. first of all -- ( cheers and applause ) there it is. there you are. happy, happy, happy, everyone, happy martin luther king day. ( cheers and applause ) ♪♪ ♪♪ >> stephen: it's a day in which we all celebrate dr. king's legacy by taking his words out overcontext to make it look like he agrees with whatever we're saying. as king himself said, you're right, stephen. ( laughter ) the u.s. senate is marking dr. king 's birthday by doing what they do best -- nothing. democrats hoped to spend the holiday passing much-needed voting rights legislation. to do that, they have to modify the filibuster. but that dream died last week, thanks to arizona senator and mrs. hamburglar, kyrsten sinema. last week, sinema took to the senate floor to announce that, while she values voting, the filibuster is her first love: >> while i continue to support
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these bills, i will not support separate actions that worsen the underlying disease of division infecting our country. what is the legislative filibuster other than a tool that requires new federal policy to be broadly supported by senators representing a broader cross section of americans? >> stephen: no. no. not representing a broader cross section of americans. the 50 senators who are currently filibustering the voting rights bill represent 41 million fewer americans than the senators who support it. stop acting like the filibuster is anything other than a -- ( cheers and applause ) stop acting like the filibuster is anything other than an anti-democratic tool. which is also a pretty good description of kyrsten sinema. ( cheers and applause ) and for the record, this is what martin luther king said about voting rights and the
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filibuster: >> i think the vast majority of people in the united states would vote favorably for such a bill. i think the tragedy is that we have a congress with a senate that has a minority of misguided senators who would use the filibuster to keep the majority of people from even voting. they won't let the majority senators vote and certainly they would not want the majority of people to vote, because they know they do not represent the majority of american people. in fact, they represent in their own states a very small minority. >> stephen: the sad thing is, dr. king could make the exact same statement today, and it would be just as relevant, as long as he mentioned wordle. ( laughter ) senate democrats and the president met to try to get sinema and her obstructin' buddy joe manchin on board, but afterwards, biden didn't sound too optimistic
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>> y'all ask questions about complicated subjects like, can you get this done? i hope we can get this done. the honest to god answer is, i don't know whether we can get this done. is this mic on? >> stephen: oh, no! oh -- oh, no! that is the weakest i've seen a president look, since jfk's inaugural: >> ask not what your country can do for you. ask, can your country do anyhing? the honest to god answer is i don't know. is this thing on? hello. where am i? who am i? marilyn, heat up the tub. i'm coming home. snoot it's a bath. it was very cold. >> jon: i was cold. you could see the cold coming out of his mouth. ( applause ) >> stephen: another person who
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has a strange way of celebrating martin luther king day is incoming virginia governor glenn youngkin, seen here after being sworn in as the penguin. ( laughter ) on his first day in office, youngkin signed 11 executive actions, including one ending critical race theory in schools. which, for the record, is not taught in virginia schools, but that youngkin categorizes as any school lessons that define racism as an institutional problem deeply embedded in american society. so, history. after signing it, youngkin returned to the executive mansion in richmond that was built in 1813 by ( hawaiian music plays ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: okay. the next day, youngkin headed over to fox news sunday and used martin luther king to defend his anti-knowledge agenda: >> and the immortal words of dr. martin luther king ring in our ears that we must judge one another by the content of our
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character and not the color of our skin. this is what will be the founding principle of our executive order, what we're gonna do in virginia schools. >> stephen: you think martin luther king's message to america is, "don't teach children about racism?" let's see if he agrees. king said, whites, it must frankly be said, are not putting in a similar mass effort to re-educate themselves out of their racial ignorance. it is an aspect of their sense of superiority that the white people of america believe they have so little to learn. >> stephen: wow. ( cheers and applause ) you know what that sounds li like -- that sounds a lot like critical race theory. glenn youngkin should stop them from teaching about that guy in virginia schools. but it's not just your votes republicans don't want to count. it's also you. we just found out that census officials wrote a memo in 2020, complaining of unprecedented meddling by the former president's administration in the 2020 census.
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it makes sense. the last guy doesn't like counting anything: covid infections, pounds on a scale, eric as his son. ( laughter ) the memo dates from the fall of 2020, when the administration was pressing the census bureau to end the count weeks early. if you end the count early, you're not doing a census. thank god these people were never in charge of a field trip: (as teacher) ok, is everyone back on the bus? one, two, bored of counting. floor it. ( laughter ) ( applause ) fine! shush! i'm drinking! quiet! it wast just moving up the deadline. the administration was adamant that, for the first time ever, the bureau separately tally the number of undocumented immigrants in each state, and had a far-reaching plan to scour billions of government records
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for hints of foreigners living here, illegally or not. oooh-- sounds like somebody was in the market for a fourth wif ( laughter ) but they didn't want to add those immigrants to the census, they wanted to exclude them, leaving an older and whiter population base in states with large immigrant populations, something that was presumed to work to republican advantage. exclude the immigrants and include as many older, white americans as possible. a process which wedding bands refer to as "playing a billy joel song." ( laughter ) ♪ slow down you crazy child ♪ ♪ you're so ambitious for a -- ♪ i love billy joel. the census bureau pushed back hard, to the point where one expert said their efforts to protect the integrity of census operations were nothing short of heroic. yes, america was saved by the latest superhero addition to the m.c.u. -- censusman!
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( cheers and applause ) he was a normal father of three radioactive accountant. speaking of bureaucrats, the c.d.c. updated their covid guidance to suggest that schools cancel football and band. but without football and band, how will our kids learn the lessons you can only get from a football player stuffing you into a cello case? ( laughter ) so far, schools have resisted the guidelines, saying they are unrealistic. according to one former c.d.c. advisor: you've got nerds, literally science nerds, who are writing these things. also explains this guidance from the website: avoid high-risk activities such as eye contact with the pretty girls, questions about 'the game last night,' and any classroom situation in which your boner may be visible through your dockers. ( laughter ) ( applause ) that's a brand flame. capital d on that dockers. tm. tm. you can't blame the c.d.c. for being careful, though. we're learning more about longterm covid effects and they are not good. for instance, scientists have
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determined that 'covid dick' is real. yes, but he prefers to be called ron desantis. ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: thank you. ( cheers and applause ) wow! i rebooted ya with that joke! a study from november found that men who caught covid were about three times as likely to develop a new case of erectile dysfunction as those who didn't. ok, question: can i get a few more boosters just to be safe? ( laughter ) do they have a pfizer i.v.? should my penis be wearing a mask? with best practices is all i want to know. luckily, the condition doesn't appear to affect a huge proportion of men. ok, not great for people trying comfort a struggling partner-- (as partner) don't worry darling, this happens to every, well actually it happens to almost no one. this is really just you.
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( laughter ) thankfully, male sexual issues caused by covid can be treated. according to one urologist, all it takes is penile rehab. ( laughter ) and to get the penis to realize it has a problem, you might need a penile intervention. dear penis, it makes me sad to see you laying around doing nothing. ( laughter ) ( applause ) i want you to get help so that one day, together, we can get back to hearing that beautiful sound: boi-oi-oi-ing. ( laughter ) we have a great show for you tonight! my guest is senator elizabeth warren! but when we come back, i tell you everything i know about modern romance. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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a jelly bean that's good for you? nature's bounty introduces new jelly bean vitamins. good-for-you nutrients in a tastier for you form. more sweet dreams. more flavorful immune support. new nature's bounty jelly beans. live bountifully. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: jon batiste and "stay human." hello, my friends. hello, jon.
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( jon singing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: how you doing, jon? >> jon: i'm good. i'm optimistic. >> stephen: you're optimistic? >> jon: i'm optimistic. >> stephen: i really like that. give me a hit of that optimism. >> jon: you've got to stay optimistic because when you're in the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, baby. >> stephen: for thy rod and staff, they comfort me. there you go. we have an optimist on the show tonight. senator elizabeth warren is here tonight. ( cheers and applause ) optimists, that's what i'm saying right here. so, here's the deal is that she is -- how many times? this is the ninth time she's been on the show. those are some john oliver, neil tyson numbers. she's putting points on the board. i really look forward to talking
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to her. he said to me, hey, mention the podcast. and he also said on the elevator, i want to talk about the other thing, but he said as long as you mention the podcast. we have the entire audio of this show, so it's everything you love about the show and a little less. but there are things that show up in the podcast that aren't in the show. one of the things i said about me not being good for the next variant is probably not in the show, but probably in the podcast. you know what i mean? so let's do that. let's take that out so people go what did he say about the variants? he'll have to go to the podcast to find out what i said. ( piano riff ) i'm tcb-ing it right there!
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folks, if you know one thing about me, you know that i love loving love. in fact, sometimes i feel like "all you need is love." i just made that up. ( laughter ) but these days, romance is constantly evolving, with new terms for hard-to-understand modern relationships emerging at a blistering pace. and i like to tell you all about them in my recurring segment: "romansplaining" ( sexy sax music ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: first up in the love fest, experts tell us that the hot new relationship term is outercourse. which i first assumed was when a baseball game gets so boring the outfielders start dry humping their glove. ( laughter ) but outercourse is, apparently, a catch-all term for forms of nonpenetrative sex. and it's supposed to blow up this year. as one expert put it you've heard of intercourse, now
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it's time to acquaint yourself with its not-so-distant cousin. cuz nothing says, 'sexy' like acquainting yourself with a not-so-distant cousin. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) next up -- weddings are dangerous. next up, in the tunnel of love is the exciting new term "wanderlove," essentially code for a holiday romance such as a tryst on the beach blossoming into a relationship. as opposed to what a tryst on the beach usually blossoms into: herpes. ( laughter ) also, sand in the crannies. ( laughter ) another hot trend in dating is not dating at all. apparently, many people areheutm now call, 'consciously single.' because that sounds way better than "involuntarily undateable." ( ht being consciously single, means embracing the perks of not having a significant other. the biggest perk: pressing play next episode and not having it play episode eight for some
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reason. i thought we were watching yellow jackets together, honey ( laughter ) finally, those looking for love might be interested in letting go of your type for 2022. called untyping. a move perhaps inspired by kim kardashian and pete davidson. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) makes sense. because, at this rate, by the end of 2022, every one of us will have dated pete davidson. ( laughter ) of course, there are many other kinds of relationships out there that have no name. yet. tonight, i romansplain them to you. first up, if you're not ready for outercourse, try 'intra'-course, which is when you -- ( laughter ) i just remembered where this joke is going. ( laughter ) stball ue.
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( laughter ) in this game, all the balls are foul. ( laughter ) and if wander-love isn't really for you, try wanda-love, which is when you have a nice candle-lit dinner with wanda sykes. ( laughter ) doesn't have to get physical. she's just a delightful conversationalist. and if you're not interested in being consciously single, why not try being unconsciously uncoupled? which is when your partner divorces you while you're in a coma. ( laughter ) abandonment not your cup of tea? no problem, try a fleasome, which is when you and your partner want to spice things up in bed, so you invite the bassist from the red hot chili peppers. if you like the way he slaps that bass, wait 'til you see how he taps that ass. and if you're not into speed dating, try swede dating, which is when you hook up with alexander skarsgard inside an
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ikea 'malm' cabinet. we'll be back with senator elizabeth warren. s ♪ wooo! s got our favorites, chicken mcnuggets... let me guess, a big mac? what's that? where's my mcnugget, dad? what mcnugget? i can literally see it! enjoy any two classics for 6 dollars like a big mac or ten piece chicken mcnuggets for a limited time at mcdonald's.
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there's this feeling we chase... like someone upped the brightness on the entire world.
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a full-body endorphin rush we'll chase again and again. feel the hydrow high. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: welcome back,
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everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is a two-term us senator from the great state of massachusetts and a former presidential candidate. please welcome back to "the late show," senator elizabeth warren. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: thank you so much. it's nice to see you again. it's always a shot in the arm to have you here. >> you bet. i'll shoot your arm anytime. i'm ready. >> stephen: you and your husband bruce i just learned got covid in december. >> yes. >> stephen: how did it feel and how are you doing? >> i was kind of flush for about a day and a half and that's it. i'm done. >> stephen: you boosted and everything? >> yeah, because that's the
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deal, that vaccine plus the booster means that, when you get sick, you just get a little bit sick, for most people. so everybody, get vaccinated, get your booster. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: now, everybody here -- everybody here is vaccinated. these are "it" getrs right here. >> good, good. >> stephen: how long were you home? how long were you isolated? >> oh, well you have to isolate, back then, for ten days before they changed it to five. >> stephen: bailey must have been happy to have you guys around all the time. >> you know, bailey wants us there 24-7 at his beck and call, and the parts he didn't like was that we couldn't take him everywhere where he likes to go, but we could take him outside for good walks. bailey is -- you know, he's a dog who has certain expectations. >> stephen: has he stolen any burritos, recently? he's a burrito thief, he learned this from the campaign trail. >> he is, and we try to keep our house a burrito-free zone
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because of bailey. >> stephen: exactly, you don't want to tempt him. >> exactly. >> stephen: okay. let's talk about the voting rights act that's going to come up before the senate tomorrow? >> yeah. >> stephen: tomorrow. okay. in 1957, martin luther king called voter restrictions "a tragic betrayal of the highest man dates of our -- mandates of our democratic tradition" and then tomorrow you vote, the joh. lewis act. how did we get back here to when we need it? >> when dr. king spoke, it was truly the case because of restrictive state laws that, principally, african-americans were denied the opportunity to vote. some other groups were kept out, but that was the principal aim. mid 1960 passed the soargts act, and it opened up opportunities for more american citizens to vote, and voting increased over time and, frankly, that's where
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we would have left everything. but then an extremist united states supreme court a few years ago gutted the voting rights act, but that all by itself just opened the door to restricting voting. donald trump, when he lost the election, he took millions of people down the dark hole of the big lie, and now we've got republican state legislatures all around this country who are trying to outdo each other to keep people of color from voting, to keep african-americans from voting, latinos and people who live on tribal lands and kedge students from voting. anyone they can identify who is likely to vote democratic, they're doing everything they can to put restrictions in place so they won't be able to vote. >> stephen: before the gutting of the voting rights act by the roberts court, that would have had to go before the justice department for the nine statements that historically
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passed most of these now they can just do it without review. >> now they can just do it without review, that's exactly right. and, boy, have they gotten it on. they are out there doing everything they can to keep people from voting, to keep those votes from being counted ando to gerrymander with such surgical precision that an ever shrinking minority of republicans will actually control not only the state legislature but all seats in congress and ultimately distort election of president of the united states. >> stephen: now this past year, there were 19 states that passed 34 laws, but it was already a problem before this latest crisis in the past year where, as you said, being led down a dark road based on this big lie. a little over a year ago when i had the opportunity to interview then president-elect biden, one of the things i asked him was, in your legislative agenda,
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voting rights has to be first, right, because everything else you want to do is for naught unless you get the voting rights first because it will just be reversed by the next person who comes in because there won't be actual representation of the american people if the voting rights restrictions go through. why is it where it is? >> because we don't have enough votes. look, i wish it were otherwise. here's the good news, we finally have 50 -- count them all 50 -- democrats in the same place on what the voting rights protection should look like. understand this, that part by itself was not easy and part of the reason it's not easy is every time we would think now we have the things you have to outlaw, the republicans in some state would figure out something else you could do. like if people were waiting two hours in the hot sun in georgia let's make that illegal to give them a drink of water. so we had to finally keep
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changing the federal laws and got the bill in place. when the voting rights act passed originally, it was filibustered and hard fought. when it was re-upped in the 1990s, 98 people in the united states senate voted in favor of it. now we have not one single republican, not one who will vote to protect the vote in america. so we've got 50 democrats who say then we're going to have to pick this up and do it by ourselves. that's the skinniest majority you can v but we can do that. vice president harris can break the tie, we can make that happen, but we have stumbled on the filibuster, this rule that has its roots in racism as a way to try to block -- it has historically been used to try to block civil rights legislation. right now, we have 50 republicans all standing firm with that filibuster because it
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gives mitch mcconnell a veto, but we've also got two democrats who are with them, and that means we can't change the rules. >> stephen: but certainly the existence of the filibuster is no surprise. >> no. >> stephen: and the, you know, standing shoulder to shoulder by the republicans is not necessarily a surprise. if you know that the vote won't pass tomorrow, what is the purpose, what is the benefit of actually holding the vote? >> so i want to back up just a little bit. the fact that 50 republicans will stand shoulder to shoulder, look you right in the eye and say, you know, it's just fine with me to keep people from going to the polls if they might vote democratic, it's just fine with me to say that if a republican legislature doesn't like the fact that people in their state voted majority democratic that, nonetheless, they plan to keep control themselves and not count those votes. it's just fine with them to
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gerrymander so that a smaller and more extremist majority can continue to control -- minority can continue to control over the majority in this country. it is not something that we should just say, hey, that's okay. one of the two major political parties in america has now said that it is their policy to win by keeping american citizens from voting, and we ought to put them on the record, make them vote on that, make a record of that and hold them accountable in the next election. enough. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: we have to take a quick break, but stick around. when w senator and i will talk about the future or failure of the filibuster. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) to conquer. but he was just kind of over it, you know. watching prime video he realized he should follow his dreams.
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( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) hey, everybody! we're back with senator elizabeth warren. okay, so there are, again, these 19 states and these 34 bills that have been passed. things are bad, things are very bad in 1965. >> yeah. >> stephen: that vote happened in the wake of bloodsy sunday. >> yeah. >> stephen: are things going to have to get much worse before they get any better? what is going to break, in your opinion, this moral failing, this deadlock?
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i don't know, but let me put it this way -- we may not be able to carry this vote tomorrow or on wednesday, but if we don't carry it on wednesday, then we get back up on thursday and get right back in the fight. and if we don't carry it in thursday, en we get back in the fight on friday, and we get back on the fight on saturday and sunday. ( applause ) there is nothing we do as a democracy that is more important than guaranteeing that all american citizens have the right to vote and the right to have that vote counted. ( applause ) so here's the plan -- we're going to vote, hold them to vote and stay after them. i mean, we're going to stay on them like a dog on a bone, we're just going to stay on this, stay on this, stay on this. >> stephen: like bailey on a burrito. >> there you go. bailey on a burrito.
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>> stephen: are you in favor of getting rid of, modifying, getting rid of the filibuster or turning the filibuster into a true talking filibuster. all together. i believe in majority rule, hello! >> that's what it's supposed to be about. the founder looked at the system and considered a super majority in the senate and said, no, they're not going to do that. simple majority in the senate. that's what i want to do. i want to be able to do a lot. understand this, yes, it's about protecting the vote, but it's also about reforming our immigration system, it's also about gun safety, it's also about protecting our environment. if you actually want to use the federal government to help make us build a better country, and you're not just there to try to cut taxes and appoint extremist judges, then you need to get rid
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of the filibuster and go by majority rule. i want to get rid of the filibuster. part one. >> stephen: we'll take a quick break but we'll be back with more senator elizabeth warren, everybody ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) drive an electric car. made by a company whose evs have gone five billion miles. for every highway... every driveway... ...and every speedway. and where the loudest sound... the beat of your electric heart. this is the new nissan. ♪ ♪ (music) this saturday through monday, get 50% off your purchase online. only at facing expensive vitamin c creams with dull results?
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as the first hormonal based therapy. ibrance plus letrozole significantly delayed disease progression versus letrozole. ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections. ibrance may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. both of these can lead to death. tell your doctor if you have new or worsening chest pain, cough, or trouble breathing. before taking ibrance, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills, or other signs of infection, liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. for more information about side effects talk to your doctor. ♪♪ be in your moment. ask your doctor about ibrance. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're back here with senator elizabeth warren. if you can't get rid of the filibuster, what about -- and
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just hear me out and try to hear this objectively. >> all right. >> stephen: what if we just get red to have the senate? ( laughter ) and i'm 100% serious here. it is the most anti-democratic institution next to the judiciary because the judiciary is only the way it is because the senate is the way it is. no one would drop a singletary -- you've already got tenure, you can go back to your other job. you will be fine, spend more time with bailey and bruce. i cannot understand what possible purpose the united states senate provides right now. >> wow. ( laughter ) look, i hear you! ( laughter ) here's what we provide, in theory, is that we are supposed to be the deliberative body. that was what we envisioned. but as long as we are tangled in
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the filibuster, then we don't get to do what the founders envisioned that we would, and that is debate the big issues of the day and then vote on them. when the debate is over and then vote on them. instead, where we are now, is somebody just sends in, i'm filibustering that, and what happens is the things that matter most in our country, the things that affect people right where they live, things that are popular with a lot of people -- you know, we could be doing universal childcare right now, but we get tangled up in the filibuster. we could be doing -- we could be doing negotiation of prescription drugs and lowering the price of prescription drugs. we could be doing it right now. we could be changing the rules around this country. i said earlier about gun safety and saving lives right now. but on all of that, we not only
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don't get to do it at the end, we don't even ever get to have a debate around it. the filibuster keeps us from doing things that are supported by 70%, 80%, 90% of the american people, and that is fundamentally anti-democratic. so, a senate with a filibuster, it's a serious question, why are we there? >> stephen: if the republicans take control of the senate in this next round or any future round ( senator gasps ) >> i'm sorry. >> stephen: how would you feel. >> i put my money on the democracy. ( applause ) if they have a majority, so be it. >> stephen: it's an anti-democratic constitution. 41 million americans are represented more by your side than the republicans and, yet, they could get one more vote. >> but without the filibuster, think about it that way, without
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the filibuster, they can't maintain that. if we protect voting and get rid of the filibuster, then it really is a question of what the american want. so here's the thing, 70% of americans believe in the rule of roe v. wade. they want to protect roe v. wade. let's put it to a vote. ( cheers and applause ) republicans want to vote no on that. fine. i'm ready for the next election. and that's how it should be. ed if you believe in democracy and getting rid of the filibuster when you're in the majority and the minority. i'm not there to say by the filibuster i want to protect myself, i'm there to say this is how democracy is supposed to work. protect the right of the people to vote and i'll take my chances, every six years, two years in the house, every four years in the white house. that's how democracy is supposed to work.
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put these big issues up. let's vote on them! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: senator, good luck! senator elizabeth warren, everybody! we'll be right back with a performance by ingrid andress with sam hunt. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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book now at >> stephen: and now, performing "wishful drinking," ingrid andress with sam hunt. ♪ maybe i'm just wishful drinking ♪ give my heart something to sink in ♪ better make it two, nothing i won't do ♪ for another round of me and you ♪ i know it's a shot in the dark ♪ looking for what's left of a spark ♪ throwing 'em back like i got nothing to lose ♪ it's a slow burn just like you ♪ everybody says, "give it time" ♪ but i'm feeling like i'm stuck on rewind ♪ throwing 'em back like i got nothing to lose ♪ it's a slow burn just like you ♪ when i'm a couple in, i get optimistic ♪ like you and me are realistic maybe i'm just wishful drinking
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♪ give my heart something to sink in ♪ better make it two, nothing i won't do ♪ for another round of me and you ♪ i get hopeful when i'm tipsy thinking you might ♪ actually miss me it's a hundred proof, ♪ nothing i won't do for another round ♪ of me and you i'm wishful drinking ♪ oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh, ♪ oooh-ooh, ♪ with every sip i'm getting closer ♪ to thinking that we ain't really over ♪ i know it ain't right but, baby, just for tonight ♪ i don't wanna have no closure when i'm a couple in, ♪ i get optimistic like you and me are realistic ♪ maybe i'm just wishful drinking ♪ give my heart something to sink in ♪ better make it two, nothing i won't do ♪ for another round of me and you ♪ i get hopeful when i'm tipsy
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♪ thinking you might actually miss me ♪ it's a hundred proof, nothing i won't do ♪ for another round of me and you ♪ i'm wishful drinking ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ yeah, i'm wishful drinking oooh-ooh, ♪ oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh, i'm tracing your footprints ♪ through my memories trying to find ♪ where we went wrong replacing the space ♪ you left with new things nothing i try lasts long ♪ maybe i'm just wishful drinking ♪ give my heart something to sink in ♪ better make it two, nothing i won't do ♪ for another round of me and you ♪ i get hopeful when i'm tipsy ♪ thinking you might actually miss me ♪ it's a hundred proof, nothing i won't do ♪ for another round of me and you (you) ♪ i'm wishful drinking
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oooh-ooh, ♪ oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh, (yeah, i'm wishful drinking) ♪ i'm wishful drinking ♪ i'm wishful drinking ♪ i'm wishful drinking ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: ingrid andress with sam hunt, everybody goodnight that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow, when my guests will be, brian cox and samantha bee. goodnight. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show-oh-oh the late late show woo! ♪ the late late show-oh-ho the late late show-oh-oh!
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