Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  June 6, 2018 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

11:35 pm
newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> have a good night! captioning sponsored by cbs is what? just so we're clear. and the problem with the president of the united states and the commander of cheese... commander... of... cheese >> and now a response from the commander of cheese. >> i just wa virginia gouda day, i said, gouda day.
11:36 pm
>> it's the late show with stephen colbert. plus, stephen welcomes mandy moore sara bareilles josh groban and musical guest meghan trainor featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, thank you so much. ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) i want you to brace yourself because here's a sentence i
11:37 pm
don't often say: donald trump did something good. today, he pardoned alice marie johnson, a great-grandmother, first-time nonviolent drug offender who received a life sentence for cocaine possession. life-- that seems pretty harsh, but if you've ever been stuck in a conversation with someone who's high on cocaine, that feels like a life sentence. ( laughter ) so, anyway, he did the right thing. he did the right thing. she didn't deserve to be in there. he let her off. but maybe he did the right thing for the wrong reason because there was no formal legal process or review. trump commuted her sentence because of a meeting with kim kardashian. so executive clemency is now just reality tv. stayed tuned for "the pardoner." ( laughter ) "i-- i-- look, i-- ro.j., will you accept this
11:38 pm
( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) and this one-- this is just the latest in a string of pardons that's included sheriff joe arpaio, scooter libby, dinesh d'souza, and the late boxer jack johnson. that last one, that last cause was championed by legal scholar sylvester stallone. ( laughter ) so, remember, if you ever get wrongly convicted, don't call a lawyer. call mickey rourke. and last week, trump floated the idea he might also pardon martha stewart and disgraced illinois governor rod blagojevich, after blagojevich's wife, patti, asked for a pardon on fox news. well that is-- going on fox news is one of the best ways to make sure trump gets your message-- other than writing it on his steak in ketchup. and, and cnn--
11:39 pm
( applause ) why not? we love meat jokes!" and cnn is reporting that the administration has prepared the pardoning paperwork for at least 30 people. "okay let's see who we got here, iron mike tyson, charlie sheen, the hot mugshot convict, the noid, hannibal lecter, fred flintstone, and osama bin laden. take that, obama. now you murdered an innocent man." ( laughter ) and-- thank you, jon. thank you. always there. >> jon: always there. >> stephen: according to one white house official, trump is obsessed with pardons, describing them as the president's new "favorite thing" to talk about, replacing his former favorite topic: "don't you think my daughter is hot? the ( laughter ) ooh, pardon me." insiders say he has become laugh-- ( cheers and applause ) "i-- i pardon myself."
11:40 pm
insiders say trump has become fixated on his ability to issue pardons because it's one area where he has almost unchecked power. and i'm actually okay with that. it's like letting your toddler play with an electric razor. it's going to look crazy when it's over, but he's having a good time. ( laughter ) meanwhile-- oh, there's big news for tariff fans! any riff heads out there? last week, trump imposed steel and aluminum tariffs on the e.u., canada, and mexico, also known as "the legion of people who still like us." ( laughter ) or used to, because they angry, no one more so than canadian prime minister and canadian prime beef, justin trudeau. on sunday, trudeau threatened that his country was slow to anger but dangerous, like one of their national symbols.
11:41 pm
>> i think we're more of a moose. >> you're the moose. >> we're the moose. the moose is, you know, even tempered and, you know, strong. >> stephen: and you know what they say: you mess with the moose, you get the-- i guess they're horns. i know they're like big floap paddles. you get the "head hands." ( laughter ) they're covered with velvet. they're soft. they're weird. i think they've got veins and stuff. and the moose is striking bag en steel and aluminum imports. but now they've gone farther. but it seems like they're making it personal, because look at these actual american imports they plan to tax: hair lacquers. clearly a shot at don jr. ( laughter ) they're going after-- ( cheers and applause ) yes. next, they're going after mayonnaise, which everyone knows
11:42 pm
that's mike pence's favorite drink. and sailboats, motorboats and inflatable boats. so, there goes melania's escape plan. ( laughter ) but the biggest hit of all is that canada will harshly tax imports of maple syrup. that's right. that's right. canada's going after trump's favorite food: topping. but the thing that really has canada's toques in a tangle is that, in order to justify the tariffs, donald trump had to essentially declare that canada is a security threat to the united states. oh, no. it makes sense. no, no, it makes sense. have you ever gotten one of their quarters while doing laundry? that's a war crime. ( laughter ) but trump's declaration didn't sit well with trudeau. turns out, in a recently revealed phone call that happened last month, trudeau pressed trump on how he could justify the tariffs as a national security issue, and trump responded, "didn't you guys burn down the white house?" ( laughter )
11:43 pm
adding, "and if you did, tell me how you did it, because when mueller closes in, i'm torching this dump." now, trump was probably referring to the war of 1812, when, in actuality, britishhe wi house. still, that is shockingly almost accurate. ( laughter ) since when-- when does donald trump know anything about american history? i thought his timeline went: "washington, lincoln, 'home alone 2', obama born in kenya, frederick douglass, me." ( laughter ) >> jon: wow. >> stephen: that's pretty clos >> stephen: he's in there. yeah. ( applause ) oh, check your calendars. if you didn't know this already-- you guys over there partying out-- it's summer. and this is a time when senators take a month off to go home, listen to their constituents' concerns, and then drink until they forget what they were.
11:44 pm
but not this year, because senate majority leader and congressional pupa, mitch mcconnell put an end to that. he made an announcement yesterday that harshed everyone's summer vibe. >> as you may have heard, i have canceled the august recess. we have a lot of important work to do as a result of unprecedented obstruction. >> stephen: damn right! it's been over two years. it is time to confirm merrick garland! but-- you don't even remember. but-- somewhere obama is weeping. >> jon: oh, no! >> stephen: but one person is excited about mcconnell's plan, donald trump. he tweeted, "mitch mcconnell announced he will cancel the senate's august recess. great, maybe the democrats will finally get something done other than their acceptance of high crime and high taxes. what? they're not in charge. that is like-- that is like your
11:45 pm
pilot-- ( cheers and applause ) that is like a pilot going, "ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. the plane is going down. nice job, ya numbnuts." ( laughter ) but according to one republican senator, "the leadership is fearful trump will blast the senate if they're not in session and, therefore, hurt republican chances in the midterms." so trump can't be left unsupervised. they're treating the president of the united states like you would a dog near sandwiches. ( laughter ) and there are fewer people to dog sit him because the white house lost another employee yesterday. this time it was white house communications aide and woma ( cheers and applause ) and woman being told she can't take airplally sadl.
11:46 pm
you might recall that last month, when senator john mccain publicly opposed trump's pick to head the c.i.a., sadler responded by joking, "it doesn't matter. he's dying anyway." wow, wow. a quote like that is really bad for kelly sadler's political career. but it doesn't matter. it's dying anyway. because now-- ( cheers and applause ) because now, according to the white house-- and nearly a month after her comments-- kelly sadler is no longer employed within the executive office of the president. of course, it would be cruel to make a joke at her expense in this difficult time for her and her family. see how easy that was, kelly sadler? ( laughter ) it turns out, this has been coming for a while. one senior administration official said, "the white house had been strategizing an exit for sadler for the last two weeks." how does it take two wee ofng?
11:47 pm
this should go pretty quick. "all right, huddle up! here's the strategy: kelly, you're horrible. get out. now, what should we do for the next two weeks? everybody caught up on 'westworld'? ( cheers and applause ) it's crazy. have you watched "westworld?" rchltsd yeah. >> stephen: it's crazy. the craziest part is fer john mccain remarks might not even be ebe why she got fired. one official says the departure was not spurred by her mccain comments but instead over the fallout from the comment. what does that mean? how is that different? that's like a judge going "well, mr. smith, you murdered your neighbor, and i'm throwing you in jail because we cannot get the blood out of the carpet." lemon juice? soda waters? what do you do? oxyclean! oxyclean! also, she might not even really be fired. according to white house counselor and secret painting in the attic of claudia schiffer,
11:48 pm
kellyanne conway. here she is today, talking about sadler's future at the white house. >> kelly sadler has been told that there are administration jobs that fit with her skill set and her experience and that the rest is really her choice. >> stephen: well, her only known skill is mocking john mccain, so... president? of course, conway wasn't there just to talk about sadler. she also defended trump's recent criticisms of n.f.l. players, and listen to how she referred to the president. >> just so we're clear, and the problem with the president of the united states and the commander of cheese-- ( laughter ). >> stephen: that's right. you heard her right. "the commander of cheese." ( laughter ) now... that's not a slip of the tongue. that would be the commander "in" cheese. the commander "of" cheese is an
11:49 pm
entirely different position, one i will admit trump is qualified for. i mean, after all, he did win wisconsin. ( applause ). >> jon: oh! >> stephen: yeah. wisconsin. ( applause ) and i noticed that kellyanne found a way to deliver her alternative facts with a fun little twist. >> there's a lot of snark and bark, this junk and this bunk. the russian collusion, delusion illusion. ( laughter ) >> stephen: oh! oh! wow! kellyanne can rhyme! she's spitting bars faster than mueller can put people behind them. ( laughter ) well, if kellyanne thinks that simple, repetitive rhymes are the best way to get a message across, allow me to respond. kellyanne, you grin n' spin. you stump for trump with your deflecting and protecting. but we all know what you really are: a town crier for the garbage fire, a deceiver-for-hire, and there's no-one slyer. when things are most dire, you
11:50 pm
conspire to preach to the choir, a denier of our current quagmire. my desire is that you retire before you're fired, because ma'am, you are a liar. we've got a great show for you tonight. mandy moore is here. but when we return, should you dance with your gun? the answer won't surprise you. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪
11:51 pm
11:52 pm
11:53 pm
11:54 pm
( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody. give it up for the band right over there. ( cheers and applause )
11:55 pm
♪ ba-ba-bom-bo"m." >> stephen: good to see you. i like the tan suit. >> jon: thank you so much. >> stephen: very atticus finch. >> jon: feeling good. >> stephen: you know who i'm excited about tonight? >> jon: what's that. >> stephen: mandy moore, i wanted to talk to her for a long time. josh groban and sara bareilles. and our musical guest-- you guys are in for a treat-- meghan trainor will be out here. i'm all about the bass. >> jon: you all about the bass. >> stephen: she's not doing that song, but i'm all about the bass. she will be close enor these people to touch. it will be fantastic. now, ladies and gentlemen, over the weekend, there's been a new contender for "worst dance floor moves. and before i go any further, i just need you to know to enjoy this story: it's okay to laugh because no one got seriously hurt.
11:56 pm
we're all there, great. now, check out what happened in denver when an off-duty f.b.i. agent decided to bust some moves with a fully-loaded gun in his pants. >> stephen: okay. let's see that again, from another angle. okay, he's dancing, does the flip, bang, annnd... into the butt. then he walks away, hands up. there he goes. "sorry, bro! my bad! i just fired my gun blindly into a crowd of people. total party felony!" ( laughter ) i like how he immediately stuffed that gun down his pants. did he think that if he picked woti i dothinere's a five- second rule for shootings. ( laughter ) he didn't even take the time to put the safety back on. and, yes, observer before you ask, the bullet did hit someone, but the guy is fine.
11:57 pm
in fact, the bar just gave him free drinks for life-- though, if that f.b.i. guy keeps dancing, that might not be long. but dancing with your firearm is inexcusable. didn't he remember the training video that all f.b.i. agents have to watch? i believe-- do we have this? jim, show them. >> yo, yoyo. what's shaking recruits. i'm special agent street light. everyone knows as an f.b.i. agent you'll end up break dancing while carrying a firearm, out of sight. when you're on the dance floor with your firearm, remember to keep it tight-- oh, god. reggie. reggie! i shot reggie. he was two weeks away from retirement. i need a medic. man, this is whack! i need a medic. man, this is whack! y we'll be right back with mandy moore.
11:58 pm
with no artificial preservatives, no added nitrates or nitrites, and by waving bye to by-products. so you can get back to loving them. for the love of hot dogs. (wienermobile horn) at&t gives you more for your thing. your getting serious thing. that moving out of the friend zone, moving in together and getting two of everything thing. those fur babies preparing you for real babies thing. that one for me, one for you, us together for the rest of everything. buy one iphone 8 and get one iphone 8 on us. more for your thing. that's our thing. visit att dot com. and we're gonna get the phone- his phone,ry sorry. uh out of you... the important thing is that we're going to make you better. (voice-activated double-tone) okay. here's how to make butter. pour two thirds a cup of cold heavy cream into a one cup canning... snickers® satisifes.
11:59 pm
out of sunscreen, going on a targetwatermelon.ything? water please! and soda! grandpa!! got it! get low prices today and every day. targetrun and done.
12:00 am
♪ charmin ultra soft! it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever... so it's harder to resist. okay enjoy the go! with charmin!
12:01 am
12:02 am
( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is a golden globe-nominated actress who now stars in "this i please welcome to "the late show,"" mandy moore. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> wow! >> stephen: hello. >> hello, hello! wooo! >> stephen: hello. >> hello. >> stephen: it's so nice to meet you. >> it's so nice to meet you.
12:03 am
i'm so excited to be here. >> stephen: we're so excited to have you here. everybody here is a big fan of "this is us." >> thank you! >> stephen: i've got kleenex if this thing goes south. before we get to the beautiful heartbreak that you do on a weekly base for america, i want to talk about something happy that you did that i've always wanted to do. >> really? >> stephen: yeah, you climbed mount kilimanjaro. >> i did! >> stephen: there you are. >> i just did it in april. >> stephen: you just did this. >> in april, yes. >> stephen: okay, that is-- what-- i-- uhh. i don't know where to begin. like, is it the first mountain you've ever climbed. >> first mountain i ever climbed. first time i have been camping, guys. i just dove right into the deep end. >> stephen: wait a second, the first thing you did was climb the highest mountain in africa. >> and camped out. >> stephen: was this glamping. >> no it was the opposite of
12:04 am
glamping. you're sleeping on the ground in a tent and trying to stay warm. >> stephen: how high are we t? how high do you get? >> almost 20,000 feet at the end, the summit. >> stephen: what did you do-- i have a friend who did it and he got sick, actually, going up, because of the altitude. what did you do to prep yourself? >> they said the most important thing was to stay hydrated, which meant we were all peeing a lot -- >> stephen: that will happen. >> and the very first day, i told one of the guides, i was like, "sorry, can you just tell me where the best place is to use the bathroom?" and he said, "no, no. we have a code. we call it 'sending a message'." i said okay i need to send a message. literally, by day two, we were like, "sending a message." and everybody everyone would stop where they were on the trail and turn their back a little bit because somebody had to use the restroom. >> stephen: "send a message. whovment is receiving this
12:05 am
message? >> mother earth. sending a message.f you're not what do you call if you're not sending a message? >> we called it "taking a meeting?" ( laughter ) yeah. and we became absoty obsessed -- i went with my fiance and two of my best friends, and we became obsessed any tiernlg the end of the day, four:00 5:00, we would sit around the dinner table at the camp tent and we would talk about, "did you send a message?" over before we left in the morning, the one and only time to send a message, because on top of having all these incredible porters that carried our stuff. they carried our tent and food for us and our bags and equipment, we just had our backpacks with us. there was one sweet gentleman who carried the throne for us. he carried a little toilet that they sat up-- they sat and sort of set it up at every campsite along the way you want mountain. >> stephen: this was really a seat, only. there was no plumbing. >> it was a seat. but that's where you took your meeting pup had to make sure you took your meeting in the morning
12:06 am
before we left or the evening when we got there. otherwise, you were throaft your own devices in the wild. >> stephen: i've been in meetings like that? >> you have. >> stephen: yes, ternal, terrible. >> we became obsessed. and we were like, was it a conference call? was the boss at the meeting? >> stephen: i don't want to be in a conference call! i'm not into that scene. >> was it just the conferenceg ? en xa >> did you seal the deal? >> stephen: who took the minutes? >> yes! >> stephen: okay, well, so you-- how long does it take to do? >> a week. >> stephen: a week climbing up there. >> yes. >> stephen: is it hiking or is there actually any climbing? >> no, no, it's it's just hiking. >> stephen: are there still snows on kilimanjaro. >> there are, at the summit there ares, the glacier s. >> stephen: i understand you have to go up at night. your final ascent is in the middle of the damn night. >> we supported at night. not everybody does, but i would
12:07 am
recommend it because it's about an eight-hour hike, and so i would just eye would feel so daunted, like, looking at the peak, at the summit, and just thinking like, wow, i still have all of that to go. >> stephen: and i assume you get to see the sunrise. >> we started at midnight. we supported around 7:00, and you get to the top and it's another, like, hour and a half walk around this crater at the top of the mountain. so by the time you sort of are at the top, and you're actually traversing ground to get to the highest point in all of africa, the sun sort of was coming up around me. it felt like this light installation. it was the most incredible thing i've ever experienced. i was so emotional. it was something i'd wanted to do since i was 18 years old. and to finally be there and in the moment and with some of my closest friends was just indescribable. >> stephen: that's lovely. >> yeah, it was great. >> stephen: that's lovely. well, speak of 18 years old, you know, you've been famous since before that. >> yes. >> stephen: i mean, we have o.ctures of you here.
12:08 am
>> stephen: this is you. >> oh, no. >> stephen: this is you, teen machine. >> teen machine. >> stephen: mandy moore. >> i almost did that hairstyle tonight too. like i was really close to wanting to replicate -- >> stephen: what do you have in your hair? >> crystals. those are crystals in my zigzag part. that's what you did in the 90s. >> stephen: i did the same thing. obviously we knew you as a pop star but you actually had a singing gig before the pop star gig. >> yes. >> stephen: so what did you sing before that? >> i grew up in orlando, florida, and my very first gigs were sing the national anthem. and i sort of made it a real job. like the first time i sang was for the orlando magic, because i saw another little girl my age singing. >> stephen: how old are you at this point? >> 12. and i was like, well, i didn't know that was even a possibility. i sent in my little-- my mom recorded me on a camcorder, sent in the vhs of me singing. i got asked to do it, and then
12:09 am
every other sports team that played in the arena-- the arena football team, the roller hockey team, the ice hockey team-- i ended up singing for all th. >> stephen: oh, wow. >> iberofeional part of my life at that point. i had my american flag hair bow. i went out with my pitch pipe. it was a whole professional operation. >> stephen: wow. american flag hair bow. >> i was very patriotic. i was into it. >> stephen: donald trump is distributing those to everyone in the n.f.l. now you're on "this is us." >> i am. >> stephen: it's a huge hit. it's a cultural event this show. are you proud to be a part of it? you must be. >>im so proud, so humble. it's the most incred experience i havhad in my life. >> stephen: you're the only character who is in all the timelines, as you would. >>ph: the only one who ages. >> i am. >> stephen: what is that like for you? what is the aging process like for you? >> i play this character, rebecca pearson, from the ages of 23 to 68. so that entails about three and a half hours of prosthetics in
12:10 am
order to play her present day. >> stephen: me, too. >> really? >> stephen: every night. >> wow! it's really good! it's so seam glls i'm much young thaern this. ( laughter ). >> stephen: three hours of prosthetics. it's not every day. there are days you shoot with the older version of your character. >> yes. absolutely. we jump around in time. it's hard to explain if you haven't seen the show. >> stephen: you tnk that's what you will look like-- >> i hope so. >> stephen: will you please come back and you're 68? >> i will, absolutely. you're still going to be doing the show then? >> stephen: if they strap the prosticts on me. >> i mean, you guys, this is 34 years from now. that's a long time. but i hope that i can age like this character. >> stephen: cbs says, "no, i will not." >> they just informed you. >> stephen: i hope i see you anyway. >> exactly. >> stephen: "this is us" returns this fall on nbc. mandy moore, everybody! we'll be right back with sara bareilles and josh groban. attiré par l'extase ♪ ♪ jes
12:11 am
♪ un tourbillon vert illumine les sirènes ♪ ♪ ♪ oh la fête fo', fo' ♪ ♪ ♪ oui l'endorphine s'est envolée ♪ ♪ ♪ d'une fête foraine deve ♪ (music) [glass squeaking
12:12 am
[marker squeaking] (music)
12:13 am
to take care of any messy situations.. and put irritation in its place. and if i can get comfortable keeping this tookus safe and protected... you can get comfortable doing the same with yours. preparation h. get comfortable with it. rewards me basically aeverywhere.om so why am i doing goat yoga at this mountain resort? because hotels.com lets me do me. ahhh. the smell of goat. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. dad! hiding when i was supposed to be quitting. i thought, i should try something that works. i should try nicorette. nicorette mini relieves sudden cravings fast. anytime. anywhere. nicorette mini. you know why. we know how.
12:14 am
12:15 am
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! >> stephen: folks, my next guests are multi-platinum recording artists with ten grammy nominations between them. they're broadway stars and stg "theystherth s please welcome sara bareilles and josh groban! ♪ ♪ ( se )
12:16 am
>> stephen: hello! it's so nice to have you guys on. >> hi! >> stephen: thank you for make something time to be here. you guys must be incredibly bizzing hosting ons sunday. is everything all set? >> it's in progress. it's a lot of rehearsals and brainstorming. >> i have a tear in my eye right now and it's not because of the rehearsals. i don't know why i have a tear in my eye. we're work so hard. >> stephen: "the tonys" just announced that bruce springsteen will be performing. did you guys agree to host so you could get tickets? >> front-row seats. >> stephen: hard to get tickets to his show. >> impossible. >> the venue is abuzz with energy that bruce is going to be e. day we whearsing and there were 30 people hanging around the stage because bruce was going to rehearse.
12:17 am
people want to be around the guy, and we're very, very chased youoie. out? >> kind of. >> stephen: but you're the hosts! >> that's what i said. >> stephen: he's getting a special tony. >> yeah. >> stephen: he's getting a special tony. is the special tony-- is that bettera ( laughter ). >> it's like an honoraryetter te i got some of them. because i didn't have to do squat. ( laughter ) and now people have to call me "doctor." i totally recommend it. >> okay. >> stephen: do youra >> n yet. >> stephen: you could totally-- are you god at commencement speeches? >> i just did one this year. >> stephen: where did you go? >> high point university in north carolina. >> stephen: beautiful. >> and i-- i did not finishso fe doing a commencement address. but-- i guess it's the same as getting an honorary degree,toger and give-- it was a pretty good speech. >> stephen: "i have no
12:18 am
education are but i'm famous! listen to me!" >> "look at me now!" >> stephen: both of you made your debuts on broadway just last season. became darlings of the great white way. both nominated last year and you're nominated for one of the movie-- it gets mixed up because there are a lot on broadway that were tv shows and are noon broadway. >> very true. >> stephen: did you dream of being on broadway? did you have that theater fever as a child? >> i think we both were theater kids. >> yeah. >> we both definitely, like, did snows our livim. i was lucky enough to go to an art school growing up. we would watch "the tonys" whend be looking at the shows on sunday night and think maybe i could coob there one day. >> we're launching a campaign it's hauled #tonydreaming and
12:19 am
we're inviting people to post pictures under this hashtag. anu n he" >> we want to see pictures of you in a school production. tweent what roles you played. we want to know what dream roles would be. >> and let's be honest it's more embarrassing the better. the better chances -- >> stephen: but clothed. >> clothed, yes. >> stephen: no "oh, calcutta" please. >> stephen: i learned something just recently. i learned something troubling about you, josh groban. >> me. >> stephen: before you were a singer, you were a magician. >> well... ( laughter ) >> let me check your head for a scar. >> thank you, yes. i was a struggling magician. i always loved magic. magician. before i had any heroes in the music world, my hero was harry houdini. >> stephen: not doug henning or david copperfield or any of those people?
12:20 am
>> them too. but there was something about houdini. i read books about him, the escape artist. i auditioned for "the magic castle." >> stephen: out in los angeles. >> out in los angeles when i was, like 11 years old. i wanted to be a junior member. >> stephen: and how did it go? >> horribly. i had a trick ready, a disappearing quarter trick. there was a hankerchief and a box it went in. i pulled up somebody from the audience, who was also a child because it was just a room full of children just trying to get into the magic castle. and the quarter fell on the ground, and the kid-- yeah, thank you. the kid, you know, gave one of the "ha-ha! it's on the ground!" ( laughter ) and, you know, you've got-- like chefs say, "stand by your dish." i had to stand by my trick. >> and picked up the expwrt went, "ta-da!" and i sat back down -- >> stephen: well-- ( applause ). >> and i hoped i would feel them, but i did not. >> stephen: good luck this sunday. i know you guys have a lot of rehearsing to do. >> i hope not to drop the
12:21 am
quarter this time so to speak. >> stephen: don't drop the quarter. it's going to be a great show. there's only one thing that bothers me about the tonys is so many of the shows this year were based, as i said on other forms, like "mean girls," or something like that. people were making musicals about things that weren't muccals and i don't understand why nobody has come along to make a musical of "the tonys" about "the tonys." >> actually, stephen, two people did. >> she means us, stephen. >> jon, hit it. >> ♪ have you ever watched a >> ♪ or tuned into a tv show and wished it was on stage? >> ♪ well, this year's tony nominees you'll certainly adore. >> ♪ because guess what-- it's
12:22 am
stuff you've heard of before! >> ♪ it's not your year if you are some pretentious theater snob. >> ♪ 'cause we got "mean girls," "frozen," and a li'l sponge named bob. >> ♪ we've also got some thoughtful plays for your son or daughter. >> ♪ like "junk" or "iceman cometh" or-- who are we kidding-- "harry potter"! >> ♪ the theater transports you to a different place and time. r plastic cup of $40 wine. >> ♪ so sunday, let's go celebrate this art that we hold so dear. >> ♪ anyone could win 'cause there's no "hamilton" this year. ♪
12:23 am
♪ let's hear it for "the tonys"! >> stephen: ♪ you're going to love what they got! >> ♪ some good old fashioned "tonys"! >> stephen: ♪ the hardest part of "egot"! >> ♪ gather your cronies and turn off your phonies. >> ♪ eat macaronies or dinner at shoney's. >> ♪ pay off your student loan-ies. >> stephen: ♪ can i watch "game of throneys"? >> ♪ no! it's time for "the tonys"! ( cheers and applause ) >> ♪ it's sara and me. >> ♪ and you can watch us for free. >> stephen: that's great because broadway tickets are really expensive. >> ♪ only cbs! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: "the tonys" are this
12:24 am
sunday at 8:00 p.m. on cbs! sara bareilles and josh groban, we'll be right back with a performance by meghan trainor. perfect gift and get kohl's cash! give him a new fragrance or the xbox one s - and get kohl's cash give him the canon rebel eos t6 and you'll get $90 kohl's cash! plus shop other great gifts storewide! the more you spend the more you save! kohl's. surprise people with how much they can get in a small suv. it's the big upgrade in a small package. see what you can get for under 20 grand... with the all-new ecosport from ford. gri've analyzed the data. s. these days all networks are great. yet some humans choose to pay so much more with verizon when they could be saving with sprint. don't forget we've got the best price for unlimited. and, sprint offers 50% off a samsung galaxy s9 lease. we must tell all humans. totally, you should find joanne in marketing a.s.a.p. joanne in marketing tell humans about 50% off a.s.a.p.
12:25 am
(vo) switch to sprint and get excited about the samsung gs9 for people with hearing loss, at 50% off lease. visit sprintrelay.com. ♪ the only match for grandma's salsa recipe was glad. it has febreze freshness that neutralizes the toughest odors with the irresistible scent of gain. every bag tells a story. be happy, it's glad. ♪ ♪ don't juggle your home life and work life without it. business financing to help grow your business. another way we have your back. the powerful backing of american express. don't do business without it. surprise people with how much they can get in a small suv. it's the big upgrade
12:26 am
in a small package. see what you can get for under 20 grand... with the all-new ecosport from ford. my name is jamir dixon and i'm a locafor pg&e.rk fieldman most people in the community recognize the blue trucks as pg&e. my truck is something new... it's an 811 truck.
12:27 am
when you call 811, i come out to your house and i mark out our gas lines and our electric lines to make sure that you don't hit them when you're digging. 1 isrervice. gas lines and our electric lines to make sure that you don't i'm passionate about it because every time i go on the street i think about my own kids. they're the reason that i want to protect our community and our environment, and if me driving a that truck means that somebody gets to go home safer, then i'll drive it every day of the week. together, we're building a better california. ♪ ♪
12:28 am
12:29 am
♪ whatever it is that floats your boat... ...or tickles your tastebuds...
12:30 am
♪ ...or brightens your day... ♪ ...even if you've never tried it before... ♪ ...just know that... you can, in portland.
12:31 am
>> stephen: you can catch my next guest on fox's "the four" starting tomorrow!n,no cheers a) ♪ love me, love me don't forget you love me ♪ when i break things, make things a little bit uncomfy ♪ baby, don't hate me you probably think i'm crazy ♪ and it's stupid and foolish the way we've been behavin' ♪ so don't keep draggin' this on and on ♪ when you know that you're wrong, you're wrong ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, i'ma let you be right ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, i'ma let you be right, let you be right ♪ we can make up if you just kiss me at the next traffic
12:32 am
light ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, i'ma let you be right, let you be right let you be right let you be right ♪ trust me, trust me i need you to trust me ♪ 'cause i say things i don't mean words for me ain't easy ♪ oh, baby, don't hate me you probably think i'm crazy ♪ and it's stupid and foolish the way we've been behavin' ♪ so, don't keep draggin' this on and on ♪ when you know that you're wrong, you're wrong ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, i'ma let you be right let you be right ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, make up if you just kie nt ght don't wna fight tonight,
12:33 am
i'ma let you be right, let you be right ♪ oh, let you be right, let you be right ♪ oh, let you be right ♪ love me, love me don't forget you love me ♪ hey, yeah ♪ love me, love me don't forget you love ♪ hey, yeah oh, hey ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, ma let you be right, babe ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, i'ma let you be right, let you be right ♪ we can make up if you just kiss me at the next traffic light ♪ i don't wanna fight tonight, i'ma let you be right, let you be right let you be right let you be right
12:34 am
♪ so we can make up kiss me at the next traffic light let i be right ♪ get ready for pixar pier!... prepare to be awed... ...prepare to be moved... prepare to make a mad dash... because with the incredicoaster... ...pixar pal-a-round...
12:35 am
...and a bunch of your favorite pixar characters... it's going to be pretty incredible. pixar pier, opening june 23rd. only at disney california adventure park. denny♪$5.99 are you out of your mind?♪99! seriously?! yup! eggs. hash browns. bacon. sausage. and buttermilk pancakes! ♪$5.99 are you out of your mind?♪ we're out of our minds. denny's new! super slam. only $5.99!
12:36 am
late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be nick offerman, niecy nash, and musical guest, lykke li. now stick around for james corden. good night!
12:37 am
captioning sponsored by cbs ed by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org.

406 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on