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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  July 25, 2014 11:34pm-12:37am PDT

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mild right now. 74 degrees. you know we're going to have a hot day tomorrow when it is still that warm at this hour. you can see the weekend forecast will hold the hottest temperatures of course in the tri-valley. 98 is going to be the average. and for the south bay, 96. san francisco even warm for their standards at 77. and for the north bay, 97. a little bit more cooling as we head throughout sunday. so if you're heading out to at&t park, come on, giants, you can do it saturday and sunday. let's take these dodgers down. temperatures will be very comfortable, as we head for this weekend as well. >> the emphasis, you know. the passion. we feel it. >> i wanted that grand slam tonight. it didn't happen. >> thanks for joining us. we made to it the weekend. enjoy it. >> bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jon hamm
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brit marling martha stewart and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 94! ♪ and now, here he is -- jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks so much! thank you, everybody. oh. that's nice. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about right there. beautiful! welcome! fantastic! that makes me feel good. welcome, everyone. welcome to "the tonight show." >> woman: yay! >> jimmy: here's what -- yeah. here's what people are -- >> man: i love you.
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>> jimmy: i love you too, sir. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to have fun tonight. let's get to some news here. i saw that pope francis will travel to a well known mafia town in southern italy this weekend to celebrate mass. which explains the way he's blessing people. he goes, "in the name of a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a a guy, who knows a guy. don't worry about it. don't worry about it." [ laughter ] did you guys see this this week? joe biden appeared online in one of those white house white board sessions. you know those things? he talked about an issue that's very important to him using the aid of a dry erase board. [ laughter ] take a look a this. i love it. >> you know, the white house has been doing these white boards for years. and it's my turn to take the pen and talk about something i feel passionately about. [ laughter ] folks, thanks for your time. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: you needed a dry erase board for that? >> steve: wow. [ applause ] should've called it food-gasm.
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foodies. >> jimmy: ah, it is a big issue. >> steve: it is a big issue. >> jimmy: a hot button issue. you just get -- >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this makes me proud to be an american. some students at harvard are making news for inventing a a food called spray cake. >> woman: ew. >> jimmy: which is -- [ jimmy chuckles ] it's not -- [ laughter ] it's not ew. it's cake batter that comes from a can. so, you just spray it into a a pan when you want to make a a cake. or right down your throat when you get stood up on a friday night. [ laughter ] ♪ all by myself don't wanna be all by myself anymore ♪ >> steve: wow. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is a little disappointing here, you guys. it was just announced that the release date for the next "amazing spider-man" movie has been pushed back two years
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to 2018. [ audience aws ] the studio said, "this time, we've decided to wait until everyone has gotten home from the last 'spider-man' movie before releasing the next 'spider-man' movie." [ laughter ] i thought this was nice. lebron james apparently sent cupcakes to all his neighbors cleveland to apologize for all the chaos since he announced his return to the cavaliers. his neighbors said, "oh, you mean that thing that made all of our houses double in value overnight? yeah, thank you for apologizing. we dig the apology." [ laughter and applause ] that's right. lebron james passed out cupcakes to his neighbors, which is great, until his neighbors were like -- "wait, is this spray cake?" [ laughter ] ♪ all by myself >> man: ew. >> woman: ew! >> jimmy: i heard -- [ laughter ] >> steve: ew! >> jimmy: yeah, i get that going down the street now. i go, "hey!" and they go, "ew!" [ laughter ] >> steve: and most people
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haven't even seen the show. >> jimmy: no, they haven't seen the show. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's just my style, yeah. [ laughter ] the fda has approved a new painkiller that is designed to be harder for people to abuse. or as rob ford put it, "challenge accepted." bring it on, man! come on! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: god, i love it. >> jimmy: it's the best photo ever, yeah. >> steve: best photo ever. >> jimmy: it's the best photo ever. poor guy. >> steve: god dang. what happened, did he get shocked? >> jimmy: he was electric shocked, yeah. he was, yeah. [ laughter ] he was hanging out with the "jackass" gang. it's just -- aw, i just feel so bad. [ laughter ] a lot of people are very excited about this. earlier this week, madame tussauds unveiled a new wax figure of ryan gosling. [ cheers ] or, as the abe lincoln wax figure put it, "well, hello
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there!" [ laughter ] "who's the new guy?" that's right. there's a new ryan gosling wax figure at madame tussauds. when asked what happened to the old wax figure, one employee was like, "nothing! it's definitely -- it's definitely not sitting on my couch at home, wearing a a t-shirt that says 'i love colleen' -- with his arm bent like this." [ laughter ] listen to this, you guys. new york's metropolitan opera is preparing for a lockout next week if they can't reach a new contract with employees. >> man: oh. >> jimmy: i'm not saying things are bad, but the fat lady was like, "should i warm up?" [ laughter ] ♪ me, me, me me, me, me it's all about me ♪ [ laughter ] this is not good here. there's a mcdonald's employee in pennsylvania who was arrested for selling crack while he was on the job. [ laughter ] i mean, seriously? how bad of a crack dealer do
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you have to be that you still need a side job at mcdonald's? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he's selling crack! can't pay the bills, man. >> steve: can't pay the bills, man. >> jimmy: the crack business ain't what it used to be, man. [ laughter ] and finally, there's a new report that found that new york is the unhappiest city in america. [ cheers ] that's not -- that's not fair. no. i've seen plenty of new yorkers smile. usually it's when somebody trips in the street, but still they're smiling. [ laughter ] we have a great show, everyone. give it up for the roots! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have got a a fantastic show tonight. this guy is nominated for another emmy award for his portrayal of don draper on "mad men." gosh, we love him so much.
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>> steve: he's a lovely man. >> jimmy: jon hamm is here! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] he's the best! >> jimmy: i can't say nicer things about anybody. he's just great. jon and i have something ridiculous planned for later in the show. >> steve: ooh. what is it? >> jimmy: it's going to get -- it's going to get messy. [ cheers and applause ] very messy. plus, she's a terrific actress. always putting out cool movies. she is in a new movie called "i origins." brit marling is stopping by. brit marling is great. another cool sci-fi flick. [ cheers and applause ] and my pal martha stewart is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] guys, today is friday -- and that's usually when i just catch up one some personal stuff, usually check my inbox. i send out some emails and, of course, send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] and i just was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind, can i write out my weekly thank you notes right now? is that cool? you're the best ever! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ♪ [ laughter ] he's in a good mood.
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>> steve: he looks mad. >> jimmy: he's in a good mood. [ laughter ] >> steve: did he get audited? >> jimmy: no, i think his pocket square is in too deep. [ laughter ] little bit too deep. there. there you go. >> steve: there we go. wow, that was like an emotional pull thing. >> jimmy: yeah, i knew what it was. >> steve: pull it up, the happier it gets. >> jimmy: i knew that's what it was. >> that's not his pocket square. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, toronto mayor rob ford, for delaying surgery on your broken toe until after the election. because if we know one thing -- a little crack won't hurt you and that's the honest truth. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: just his toe bone. >> jimmy: just ask that dude from the mcdonald's, yeah. >> steve: the mcdonald's? yeah. "i'll have a side of crack." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry, i just want a a big mac and a milkshake and small fries. >> steve: and some crack? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh, no, i just want -- just a big mac and small fries and a milkshake.
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that's it. >> steve: okay, quarter-pounder, large fries, two orders of crack. [ laughter ] will that be it, sir? >> jimmy: yeah, second window. sure, i'll pick it up. ronnie, we're getting crack. we're going to get some crack. i don't know a thing. [ laughter ] >> steve: a cracky meal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i've already driven away! i've already driven away from you! stop talking to me! [ laughter and applause ] here's your bag. "did you hear my funny joke?" "yes, i did hear your funny joke. leave me alone." ♪ thank you, british open winner, rory mcilroy, for having a game that's tough for anyone to beat and a name that's tough for tom brokaw to say. [ laughter ] [ imitating brokaw ] congratulations to rory mac-ill-roy. [ laughter and applause ] a great golfer today. congratulations to rory mac-ill-rye. rory mac-hill-hi. rory -- [ muttering incoherently ]
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[ laughter ] >> steve: do you want some crack with that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm all ready at home. how is this guy still talking to me? >> steve: sorry, dude. >> jimmy: my phone's on! stop calling me! [ imitates phone ringing ] hello? >> steve: yeah, do you want some crack with that? >> jimmy: no, i don't! [ laughter ] "crack with that"? no, stop asking! >> steve: hey, whoa, whoa. we got the mcrib. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: your favorite's back. >> jimmy: but why are you calling me at home? >> steve: i just wanted to know if you wanted to have a mcrib. >> jimmy: what have you got for me? >> steve: i got a shamrock shake. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: and a mcrib. >> jimmy: that's cool. >> steve: and three vials of crack. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to hang up. have a good night. [ laughter ] [ imitates phone ringing ] [ laughter ] i'm not going to pick it up. i'm not going to pick it up. [ imitates phone ringing ] i'm going to do anything else. i'm moving on. >> steve: uh, yeah, this is jimmy fallon. leave your name and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my voice -- >> steve: so, if you have a a message for me, just leave a a number -- >> jimmy: that's not my voice.
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>> steve: -- at the beep because i'm not home right now. so, if you want to reach me -- >> jimmy: it won't shut off! [ laughter ] >> steve: hello, hello. >> jimmy: hello? >> steve: yeah, hi. i was wondering if you want some crack? >> jimmy: all right, bye. [ laughter ] >> steve: that was your answering machine. >> jimmy: do you want crack with that? ♪ thank you, apple plans for a a smart wrist watch. wow, a device that can do all the things an iphones can do plus tell the time like an iphone does? count me in! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: what's that -- what's that awful thing around your wrist? >> steve: what, this thing? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: wait a sec. it's my iwatch. >> jimmy: oh, cool. i got one too. it's also a phone. >> steve: really? well, my phone doesn't work but it's an iwatch. >> jimmy: no, this is cool. [ imitates phone ringing ] [ laughter ] hello? >> steve: uh, yeah, do you want some crack with that? >> jimmy: no, i don't want -- [ laughter ] i don't know why i gave that guy my number at the mcdonald's.
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>> steve: yeah, why did you -- why would you give him your number? >> jimmy: i don't know. i was under pressure, and i just wanted to eat. i was hungry, man. that's why i was there. >> steve: you just wanted to get out of there, but you gave him your real number. >> jimmy: i just want to get out of here. take my number. i don't care, man. [ phone beep ] oh, we got a message. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: check your message. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: hold on. >> steve: it's siri. it's siri, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, there's the quicktime. the voicemail, it's siri, yep. >> steve: do you want crack with that? [ laughter ] hey, wait. don't hang up. >> jimmy: all right. ♪ thank you, the new trailer for "fifty shades of grey" -- [ cheers and applause ] -- for already getting two thumbs up. i just don't want to know where. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: whoa! pull the shades. >> jimmy: oo-hoo. ♪ >> steve: do you want crack with that?
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>> jimmy: thank you -- [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, wine tasting, for being a fancy way of saying "getting drunk." [ laughter ] we went to a wine tasting. >> steve: ding dong! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hold on. someone's at the door. hold on a second. [ laughter ] sorry. i'll be right back. someone is at the door, honey. just pause the movie. pause the movie and i'll see what they want. yeah? >> steve: uh, yeah, can i interest you in some crack? [ laughter ] hey, hey! [ muffled ] can i interest you in some crack? i want to show you some crack out of mexico. and i'll take two orders of crack.
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and three orders of crack. hey! >> jimmy: sorry. >> steve: no, i'm sorry. i'm the one who should realize that you're just a human being trying to get along in this world just like me. [ laughter ] maybe i've been buying crack too much. maybe i should just do something with my life. you know what i mean? i've a bit of a rough thing. i've been homeless for a while. actually, graduated from the university of illinois summa cum laude, but uh -- you know. [ laughter ] what happened? >> jimmy: i just bought some crack. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, my gosh. well, you know, it helped the guy out. >> jimmy: i'm never doing it again. >> steve: no, don't do it. >> jimmy: i'm never doing it again. >> steve: look at rob ford. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, man in canada who was arrested this week for handing out free samples of cocaine to people -- [ laughter ] oh, my gosh.
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>> steve: what did he say? what did the man say when he was -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just walk down the street in toronto and the guy would just come out and he says, "do you want crack with that?" >> steve: do you want crack with that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anyways, this joke is not going to work. [ laughter ] ah, man was arrested this week in canada for handing out free samples of cocaine to people or as they call that in toronto, campaigning for mayor. there you go. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with jon hamm, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening was recently nominated for another emmy award for his performance as don draper in the long running hit show "mad men." gosh, we love him. starting august 19th, you can see him starring opposite daniel radcliffe in another cool tv series. it's called "the young doctor's
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notebook" and it airs at 10:00pm on ovation, please welcome a talented actor, here is jon hamm! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: jon hamm! [ cheers and applause ] the hamm bone! jon hamm, "the ham sandwich," they call him. [ laughter ] jon hamm is in the house. >> so good to be home. >> jimmy: thank you! oh, that's what i'm talking about. >> right? >> jimmy: well, welcome, welcome to our show. welcome to our home, and your home as well. do you want some crack with that? [ laughter ] >> he's not still out there, is he? >> jimmy: he's there. yeah, yeah, yeah.
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>> oh, god. >> jimmy: he's just hanging out there. >> that's terrifying. >> jimmy: no, we kind of -- >> you made peace? >> jimmy: like an odd friendship with that guy, yeah. >> how 'bout that? >> jimmy: kind of like a yin yang thing, you know? we come from different sides of the track. >> that's great. >> jimmy: but we meet in the middle and just cruise on past. >> i love it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: silver bullet, man. >> i love it. i'm looking forward to it. seeing how that relationship develops throughout the summer. >> jimmy: i think it's going to be pretty -- [ knocking ] [ laughter ] >> oh-oh. >> jimmy: you want to get it? >> you want me to get it? >> jimmy: yeah. do you mind getting it? i'm just going work on some stuff here. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> steve: oh, hey man. oh my gosh, jon hamm! >> hey, how are you? >> steve: how's it going? "million-dollar arm," love that, man. >> oh, thanks man. >> steve: i just have one question for you. >> yeah, what have you got? >> steve: do you want some crack? [ laughter ] >> no, i'm good, man, thank you. >> steve: you should wait -- [ muffled voice ] come on, do it. [ laughter ] >> i can't. >> steve: come on, do it. come and do this with me. >> jimmy: will you just do it? >> all right, this will be -- >> jimmy: oh, my god! [ laughter ] jon!
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stop! [ laughter ] get out of here! get out of here! i'm so sorry, jon! what happened to you just there? >> i just bought some crack. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't do that! don't do that! don't do that. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] i'm sorry. you all right? oh, my gosh. are you all right? i'm so sorry about that. >> i'll be -- i'll be okay. >> jimmy: all right. good, good, good. i'm so sorry about that. thank you for being here. i'm sorry about that guy knocking on the door. >> it's okay. you know, look, this is what happens with live television. anything can happen. >> jimmy: it's 2014, exactly, yeah. >> this is 2014. >> jimmy: 2015, that's the way we do it. >> it's 2015. it's live. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's 2018. this is what people do. >> it's 2019 and it is live this is happening now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's 3004 and this is what robots do when they talk to each other. [ laughter ] >> like "robot talk show." you know that show. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. [ robot voices ] ♪ robot talk show ♪ robot talk show [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know what i mean? it's the best. >> how have you not heard of this? >> jimmy: jon? >> it's 3019! >> jimmy: for heaven sakes. >> read a book!
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, bleep a -- >> bleep blorp a bloop. >> jimmy: bleep a bloop, man. [ laughter ] >> any way. >> jimmy: anywho. i wanted to know about this show. you're doing a show on ovation with daniel radcliffe. >> daniel radcliffe. >> jimmy: gosh, i love him. >> harry potter. >> jimmy: television's harry potter. >> television's harry potter! >> jimmy: he was on "cheers." it was norm, sam, cliff, and harry potter. >> harry potter. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, it was great. he would walk in and everyone would go -- >> both: "harry potter!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, it was great. so tv's harry potter is on the show. >> yeah, it was this crazy show. i had been over in the u.k. doing another thing. and i met some producers and people over there and they said would you ever want to work again in tv and i said yeah. so, we came with a thing and it was based on this sort of obscure russian novelist. so i know i got you guys all hooked. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so smart, man! >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're ahead of the curve. >> but it happened to be that it was daniel radcliffe's favorite author. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> so we came to him. he didn't know me. i'd had never met him. we just said hey, would you ever want to do this? and he said yeah. and then two months later we
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were making a tv show. >> jimmy: and he's the greatest -- he's a great guy. >> he's the nicest person on the planet. he works so hard. we shot the second series over in london last summer. he was doing a full length play over in london while we were shooting the thing. it's crazy. >> jimmy: he's a hard working guy, just like you are. but it's called "a young doctor's notebook." >> yes. >> jimmy: it's on ovation. and it's -- there's no -- there's no real sense in setting it up really. >> no, 'cause it's completely absurd and crazy. but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but it's fun. he plays a younger you. >> he sort of plays -- i play the older version of him that exists only in his mind. so, the first -- the first season had had us taking a bath together. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i've read fan fiction about that. >> i should remind that you this istaking place in his mind. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. [ laughter ] exactly. >> so the second season has a a lot more of that. and i think we have a little clip here. >> jimmy: we have a clip. here's jon hamm and daniel radcliffe dancing a a waltz in "a young doctor's notebook." check it out. >> she does not thing of you in a romantic light. >> she called me sweet and delicate. >> just like a child. >> she nursed me back to health.
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>> yes, as a mother does a a child. >> she promised to come up and see me before bed time. >> yes. can't you see? this is just another self-destructive obsession that you hold together with lies. >> lies, what lies? >> all of them. you have destroyed that poor girl. >> natasha? >> yes. natasha. she puts on a brave face but she is alone, fragile, vulnerable. >> wait, so you do think that i have a chance? [ door knocks ] >> doctor? [ crashing sound ] >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about right there. "a young doctor's notebook." jon hamm and i are doing something fun after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if energy could come from anything?. or if power could go anywhere?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm hanging out with the one and only jon hamm right there. [ cheers and applause ] congrats on the emmy nomination from "mad men." >> likewise. likewise. >> jimmy: well, thank you. >> are you looking forward to attending? >> jimmy: yeah, i do. i love the emmy awards. seth is hosting. he's gonna do a great job. >> seth's hosting. i remember when you hosted. we sang and we danced. >> jimmy: we did! >> that was pretty fun. >> jimmy: thank you for that. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: well, a lot people know we've been friends a long time. >> long, long time. >> jimmy: we did a -- >> longer than most people know, i think. >> jimmy: we did a tv show together back in the '80s. >> we did. yeah. [ laughter ] it was -- it wasn't the first thing we had done but it was like one of the first things we did. >> jimmy: yeah. it was called "palisades park pet patrol." [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> what? we needed to -- we had to work. >> jimmy: yeah, we had to work.
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jobs are jobs. >> right? >> jimmy: no, we played two animal control officers. >> who were like -- who were like oil and water. they just couldn't -- >> jimmy: couldn't see eye to eye. almost like "lethal weapon" with, like, two mel gibsons. [ laughter ] >> that's a great way to put it. but we basically -- yeah. we would get -- we would go -- kind of go back and forth a lot. >> jimmy: we had a lot of arguments. it would always end up in like, a messy, messy situation. >> we -- >> jimmy: we have a clip of it. >> you've seen this? i've never seen it. >> jimmy: oh, we're gonna bring back memories. this is great right here. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: i can't wait. check it out. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good -- good morning, pat. [ laughter ] >> good morning, pete. >> jimmy: did you pick up any puppies in the park? [ laughter ] >> i picked up a pack of
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puppies and put 'em in the pick-up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's against pet policy! >> don't play with me, pete! this is the palisades park pet patrol! this ain't your papa's playpen, you punk! capisce? [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: point taken. [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] brings back memories? >> that really brings back memories. yeah. >> jimmy: that brings back memories. >> i can almost feel how it was shooting that show. >> jimmy: it really was. well, if you want more feelings, i have another -- we have another clip from the show. >> let's take a look. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: it was a pretty day out there, pat. >> perfect for protecting pets, pete. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: are you eating pumpkin pie? [ laughter ] >> yeah. are you eating pretzels, peanuts and potato chips? [ laughter ] [ mumbling ]
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>> jimmy: way to put the pieces of the puzzle together, pat. >> hey. don't provoke me! [ laughter and applause ] this pumpkin pie is parching my palate. >> jimmy: no problem. let's get a pack of -- [ laughter ] pabst. >> pabst. oh, that's interesting because i prefer -- [ audience ohs ] hawaiian punch! [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pabst! >> punch! [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: pabst! >> punch! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pabst! >> punch! punch, punch! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got emotional. >> no, i mean, it really does. it brings back -- [ laughter ] -- all the stuff. we were so young. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. are you sweating? you hot? >> i'm feeling it, you know? it's like, you can -- it really gets all the senses -- >> jimmy: i just got emotional. i got emotional watching that. >> oh! >> jimmy: and i just -- what's that? we have one more clip. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] let's check it out. >> yeah. ♪ [ laughter ]
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[ audience awws ] >> perk up, pete! palisades park pet patrol has a a prickly predicament! [ laughter ] a porcupine! [ laughter ] i had to shave. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you said something about a porcupine? >> yeah, a porcupine. that pointy pest's been pricking people so keep your peepers peeled, pete. because when you're least prepared -- poke! [ laughter ] you're pricked! pricked, pricked! like pricked from the porcupine. >> jimmy: ohh. yeah, yeah. >> let's have a thing of powdered sugar there, huh? >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right.
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that's nutritious. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's pound this punk! >> wait. not so fast, pete. [ laughter ] this porcupine's got partners. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: what partners? >> what partners? possums, pigeons, peacocks, pigs, penguins, pandas and panthers! >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> let's proceed pronto because we are -- >> both: the palisades park pet patrol! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i went -- i went and i got the same outfit that we wore. >> that's great. thank you so much. >> jimmy: you're so welcome.
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>> i can go home with this, right? >> jimmy: you can keep that. absolutely, yeah. >> it's great. >> jimmy: it brings back memories. >> buddy, it is so good to see you again. >> jimmy: great, great memories. jon hamm, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] stick around. we'll be back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ really... so our business can be on at&t's network for $175 dollars a month? yup. all five of you for $175. our clients need a lot of attention. there's unlimited talk and text. we're working deals all day. you get 10 gigabytes of data to share. what about expansion potential? add a line anytime for 15 bucks a month. low dues... great terms... let's close. introducing at&t mobile share value plans... ...with our best-ever pricing for business.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very talented writer, director and actress. her previous movies "another earth" "sound of my voice" and "the east" have won many awards and much critical acclaim. you can see her new movie "i origins" which is currently in theaters. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome brit marling! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: brit marling. it's nice to see you again, pal. >> hi. >> jimmy: sorry if i smell like -- chocolate pudding and beer and everything.
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>> it, it -- suits you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you! it's so nice of you to say. i want to get into it and talk about this new movie, "i origins." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's another cool movie that you're -- you always -- you pick -- you do these cool movies. i just love 'em. i'm such a fan of yours. >> thanks. >> jimmy: and so this one has got a tricky thing. you're a scientist. >> a molecular biologist, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, sorry. was that similar? >> i mean, kind of. [ laughter ] it's, it's in the same vain. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> same family tree. >> jimmy: did you meet any of these molecular -- >> we did! mike cahill, the director, actually his brother went to johns hopkins. so, michael pitt and i -- [ cheers ] went down to the lab and we put on the lab coats and the gloves and we learned how to splice dna. >> jimmy: no. >> yeah. and that -- i mean, the bad thing is i accidentally broke someone's thesis experiment. [ audience oohs ] and he'd been working on it for two years. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: brit! >> i know! it was really bad. it's the only thing i ever feel i should have been arrested for. >> jimmy: oh, my god, no! >> he passed it to me and i was looking at it through the microscope. and it was so beautiful.
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i got really excited and i turned to pass it michael pitt and -- i dropped it. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] so -- that happened. and it didn't even make it in the film. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what, what happened? >> i feel like i'm confessing right now. >> but then i made it up to him. >> jimmy: okay. >> because i was like, i'm basically your lab slave now. and i just spent the rest of the month pipeheading saline solution into test tubes for him. >> jimmy: and just helping him back out. >> yeah. helping him back out. >> jimmy: ooh, my goodness gracious. >> it was a rough start. being a molecular biologist, it was a rough start. >> jimmy: maybe you should have been a scientists. [ laughter ] >> maybe. >> jimmy: then, you wouldn't had this problem in the first place. >> maybe -- maybe physics would have been better for me. >> jimmy: because the movie is about bascially -- the doctor -- he sees an eye -- an eye pattern. >> it's complicated. [ laughter ] yes. >> jimmy: it's a very tricky thing. >> you're doing really well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. an eye pattern that he's in love with? >> basically, it's about -- do you believe in love at first sight? >> jimmy: yes. >> really? >> jimmy: sure. >> cool. okay, i kind of do too. but in this film --
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>> brit, i'm married. >> right. [ laughter ] no, no. it wasn't even -- of course. yes. >> jimmy: i don't want to do this now. >> it's cool. so basically -- [ laughter ] it's about maybe love at first sight being actually love at recognition. whether or not you've actually known that person in another lifetime. and so these two molecular biologists use the iris pattern of the eye to track souls through time to see if they can find soul mates in fact. >> jimmy: ah-ha! [ audience oohs ] >> scientifically proven. >> jimmy: yeah-ha! here we go. we have a clip. here's brit marling in "i origins." >> i was running the electric -- drill, you know. just another tuesday. and i started sequencing the genes of this strange worm called eisenia fetida? >> go on. >> and -- i found the -- master switch. >> no. >> yes. >> are you serious? >> mm-hmm. >> do you know what this means? >> you found an origin species and we can build an eye from scratch? >> holy. does it have the same amino acid sequence as humans?
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>> i -- i can't even -- i can't even talk right now. i feel like i'm gonna piss myself. can you just come in here? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: brit marling! "i origins" is in theaters right now. [ cheers and applause ] come back, pal. >> i will. >> jimmy: we're cooking with martha stewart next. come on back, everybody! ♪ honey, look i got one to land. uh-huh there's good more... honey, look at all these smart rewards points verizon just gave me. ooh, you got a buddy. i'm like a statue. i just signed up and, boom, all these points. ...and there's not-so-good more. you're a big guy... oh no. get the good more with verizon smart rewards and rack up points to use towards the things you really want. now get 50% off all new smartphones.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy award winning host, best-selling author and has a a very successful product line at macy's. my pal, the one and only martha stewart! ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: martha, a i love you! martha, you look gorgeous. thank you so much for doing our show. we're starting off with a a cocktail. what are we having? >> oh, sour cherry mojitos. sour cherries, are in season. you like sour cherries? >> jimmy: yeah, of course i like sour cherries. >> okay, but you have to pit them. >> jimmy: pit them first. >> pit them. so, you can use this machine, which is very, very elegant. >> jimmy: what do i do? >> you put a whole lot of cherries in there. >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah. >> then you just -- [ laughter ] okay. now you just push that up and down. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] up and down like that. [ cheers ] see? >> jimmy: thank you, martha. >> or you could use this -- >> jimmy: thank you for not looking, quest. >> you can use this one, too. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. >> okay? so then you macerate the
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cherries. >> jimmy: yep. >> you know about maceration? >> jimmy: yep, of course, yeah. i've been macerating for most of my young adult life. [ laughter ] >> and cherries, lemon juice, sugar and basil. >> jimmy: basil? >> unusual, yes. >> jimmy: a little twist. all right, let's taste. quest, you'll do a little taste? >> vodka. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> vodka. >> jimmy: martha! martha, you're driving! be careful. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: cheers, happy summer. >> cheers. and now -- square ice cubes, look. >> jimmy: now, all this stuff is your line -- oh, delicious. all of this stuff is your life of stuff at macy's. >> yeah, yeah. this is all the summer time -- did i hurt you? i'm sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hit me with an ice cube. but, this is all your line of stuff. you can get this all at macy's. >> you like that? >> jimmy: i love that. i more than like it. are you kidding me? >> okay, but now, aren't we doing something special? >> jimmy: yeah, this is a a competition. now that the heat is on. questlove is gonna be the judge. we're gonna have a grilled -- >> jimmy fallon cooking -- >> jimmy: cubano! >> cooking contest. >> jimmy: a cooking contest. here we go.
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quest, you can see or hear what -- 'cause i have a secret ingredient that's gonna just mop the floor with you tonight. [ laughter ] >> should i go now? >> jimmy: i'm just getting competitive all ready. no. >> now, don't forget i bribed you. don't' forget. >> jimmy: no, you can't bribe him. now, look, you can't see or hear what we're making. so we made for you the dome of silence. [ laughter ] you have to put this on. and it has headphones in there. >> and he's going to mess up his hair? >> jimmy: yep. can you get it on there? >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: that's it. >> dome of silence. oh, you have to hold that, right? >> can i keep my drink? >> jimmy: no. here you go. here you go. stop, stop, stop, stop! oh, he can't hear me. [ laughter ] sit down right there! >> what? >> jimmy: no, stop! that's right. you're good. >> he's cheating. >> jimmy: okay, good. are you good? >> cheating. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, pal. all right, ready? let's do it. what are we going to do? let's go. >> okay. now this is cubano sandwich. >> jimmy: a cubano sandwich. >> you've had these before, right? >> jimmy: yes, i have. >> have you been to cuba?
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>> jimmy: yes. no, i have not been to cuba. >> okay. you don't have to do this. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> you're making yours. i'm not showing you how to make it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really? it's on! let's go, martha! >> add swiss cheese. >> jimmy: all right, you've got grilled pork. >> and black forrest ham. they have black forrest ham in cuba. i guarantee you. >> jimmy: i'm going to go with this here. black forest ham. >> i know you love mayo, right? he loves mayo. >> jimmy: it's disgusting. it makes me want to vomit. mayonnaise reminds me of puss. >> oh, here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really, i don't like it. at all. ew! i really hate mayonnaise. gosh, i hate mayonnaise so much. i can't even look at it. >> how can you hate mayo? >> jimmy: oh my! gross! >> it's the essential -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ew! ew! that's so gross, martha. [ laughter ] want to know my what secret ingredient is? here's my secret ingredient. it is -- cold little slaw. >> coleslaw? in a cubano? >> jimmy: yes, in a cubano. >> what are you talking about? >> jimmy: it's 3015, martha. grow up! >> jimmy: all right, stick around. we're gonna see who the winner
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of "the tonight show" grilled cubano off is when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, we're back with the one and only martha stewart right here, and we are about to see who made this better grilled cubano. >> now, is he an expert in cubano? >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> questlove: yes, i am. >> jimmy: he's a foodie, yeah. >> oh, good. >> jimmy: so, we're not showing you which one is which. we switched places, or maybe we didn't switch places. >> you never can tell. >> jimmy: yeah, you never can tell.
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it's just i want you to try and just eat this and just pick the best one, man. already just by presentation -- >> questlove: which one should i do first? i'll make it quick. >> jimmy: well, okay. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> questlove: mmhmm. >> he's the judge. >> questlove: mmhmm. oh. [ laughter ] [ applause ] okay. >> jimmy: the winner -- [ suspensful music ] ♪ [ bell ringing ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes! i beat her! >> congratulations. >> jimmy: what was it? was it the coleslaw? >> questlove: i like the coleslaw. >> jimmy: yeah!
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i knew it! i knew it! ha-ha-ha-ha! >> questlove: i'm sorry. i have to keep my job, you know? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm going to be on the cover of "martha stewart living" next month, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] no, i'm not. the summer issue is available right now, all the recipes we made tonight are in there so, go pick it up! my thanks to jon hamm, brit marling, martha stewart -- i love ya! and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, taye diggs. andy serkis.


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