tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 23, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
>> that's our report. thanks for >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- andy samberg. from "ready player one", lena waithe. and music from buddy guy. and now, one more thing, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. welcome. hi everyone, i'm jimmy,i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. [ cheers and applause ] wow. there's something -- there's a little extra [ cheers and applause ] there's just something in the air tonight, don't know if you can feel it but not too far from
here at the beverley hills home of the buccaneers wealthy individuals are gathering for special guest of honor president donald jessica trump [ laughter ] tickets for this dinner which is happening right now went from a minimum of $35,000 to a top price of $250,000. for $250,000 you get to sit on his lap. could you imagine paying that much to have dinner in a room with donald trump with his head lodged in a bucket of chicken, i don't know how he eats. if you want to give money to donald trump that you never want to see again invest in his business. [ cheers and applause ] thanks guys. there he is arriving holding the world's largest umbrella. [ laughter ] look kids it's harry poppins. his hands make the umbrella look
bigger than it is. that's a cocktail umbrella. they pulled it out of a drink on air force one. this is trump's first visit to california we are not his favorite state. the fundraiser was hosted by the chair woman of the rnc, ronald mc daniel, which makes sense because trump thought they said ronltd ronald mcdonald and went to look at the wall that everyone's going to pay for. >> looking at the wall see through capability with steel and concrete on top. the base you see more clearly back there the larger it is the better because it's very hard to get over the top. who would think. getting over the top. it's easy. these are like professional mountain climbers. incredible climbers. they can't climb some of these walls some they can.
those are the walls we're not using. >> jimmy: so wait, we're going to spend $70 billion to keep the mexico mountain climbers out of the country. [ cheers and applause ] seems excessive. this thing about the wall being see through. i think i figured it out,he's not actually building the wall, he's building an aquarium. his own sea world and we're the fish in it. meantime, the president actually had a lot of fun inspecting his wall samples today. [ laughter ] >> thank you all, i'll see you -- i'll see you at the wall of i'll see you at the wall. >> be ware the orange walker. [ laughter ] it's been a roller coaster 24 hours for team trump. president was riding high after rebound members of the house intelligence committee opted to the end of the russian investigation, i should say their russia "investigation" but putting republican members in the house in charge of find us out if there was collusion with
russia is like finding a team of raccoons finding out who is knocking over the trash. the president was fired up. this tweet from donald trump this tweet from donald trump notice he did it in all caps, no way he knows about caps lock. guaranteed he hit shift before every single one of those letters. that's how excited he was about that. tell you what. i saw that, that tweet reminded me of another stable genius remember this one. that's right. our next president, west. the investigation ended on thursday. so it is surprising they already have their final report written, turns out they wrote the final report first months ago and then moved on to the investigation. major time saver. that way. i guess all 17 national
intelligence agencies unanimously confirmed russia meddled in our election in order to help donald trump were wrong. i mean, that's embarrassing. really is. that's not even the big story of the day. another high-level member of team trump got the boot today. secretary of state rex tillerson this morning out of nowhere learns he's been fired from a tweet. tweet. this is what trump tweeted -- tweeted -- congratulations except including rex. congratulations. [ laughter ] that's how he found out, from a tweet. donald trump spent more time firing little jon then he did firing the secretary of state. rex doesn't know why he was fired especially since trump
tweeted this three and half weeks ago. o. i'm starting to fires people so he can get some going away cake at the party. trump said he made the decision quote, by myself. like a five-year-old. i did it all by myself. of course you did there's no one left at the white house. just you and your slovenian captive. [ cheers and applause ] what? was that too much. i'll make a note of that. so rex tillerson gave a press conference, at which he thanked a lot of people but not donald trump. he's been replaced by cia director mike pompeo which is the italian word for volcano that will kill us all.
here's what trump said about his new secretary of state. te. >> i respect his intellect and i respect the process we've all gone through together. we have a very good relationship. for whatever reason, chemistry. whatever it is. why do people get along. i've always right from the beginning from day one i've gotten along well with mike pompeo and frankly i get along well with rex too. i wish rex a lot of good things i think he will be much happier now. >> did he fire him or have him put to sleep? what is it? [ laughter ] so to recap rex is out, cohn is out, rex tillerson is out, top of that all, yesterday, they fired trump's personal assistant john mcatee was with him last three years was his body man he was fired for being under investigation
by the department of homeland security for serious financial crimes. he really picks the best people. can't argue with that. this is what he looks like by the way. hello handsome. according to members of the white house staff he was escorted out ever the building and wasn't allowed to get his jacket. his problems related to gambling and tax issues. the good news is, even though he had to be removed from the white house he's already new job as senior advisor to trump's reelection campaign. so hakunamatadaa everyone. you know, so many members of this trump team have been eliminated from the white house but just because they're gone doesn't mean they have to be forgotten now for a very low price each one of them can be a every day part of your life. >> we begin with breaking new in washington president trump
firing rex tillerson citing ir reconcilable differences. tillerson finding out about it on twitter. >> well i for one will certainly miss him. >> hi i'm television's george decay now you can pay tribute to all of donald trump's ex-cabinet members with these departed staffer commemorative plates. order now and each month will receive a newly crafted place plate, and they're all here sean spicer, fbi director james comey, steve bannon. anthony scaramucci, and oh, my rosa. and sure to grow. we're adding 50 blank plates so you can affix your own pictures to keep up. look what i did. [ laughter ] and if you act right now you will receive a bonus. a chris christie bottomless pasta bowl. these are hand crafted much like the people on it.
but don't take my word for it, take his. >> one of the greatest deals i've ever seen. >> order all 45 staffer commemorative plates for 24 monthly payments of $19.95. act now. like a trump advisor, this offer won't be around for long. >> available at border wallgreens. >> jimmy: thanks to george you can see him in "allegiance" we have to take a break. we'll come back in honor of spring break will find two people on the street who go naked in public. stick around. we'll be right back. cheer [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: abc's "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by -- by -- ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. music from buddy guy. on the way. first the ncaa can colleg e basketball playoffs are under way. two of the playing game where's today. when you are filling out your bracket, it's important to keep in mind nowhere in the rule book does it say a dog can't play basketball i learned that from "air bud" and stick with it every time. meanwhile i filled out my bracket. we have a pool in the office. my final four xavier, kansas,
arizona, and ivanka that's who will be left. and of course we're also in the middle of spring break any of you here on spring break [ cheers and applause ] things have changed a lot. when i was a teen my spring break was watching other goes on spring break on tv. we wanted to get into the spring break spirit so went on to the street and asked people strolling by a question, have you ever been take in public. you ever been naked in public. this is a game. we will meet a man or woman and together as a community base on the introduction we'll guess if the person has ever been fully on display for others to see. let's play. >> what's your namath where you >> have you ever been naked in public? >> jimmy: okay. so has kensa ever been naked in public? what do you think. most of the audience says no. but quite a few yeses. let's go to the source.
>> i hope so. i hope not! i hope not. no, i have not been. it's on the bucket list though. >> all right that's good. setting attainable goals. see who else is out there. >> jim collins. from north carolina. >> have you ever been naked in public. >> yes! >> something about jim. [ laughter ] makes us feel that maybe he has. let's find out. >> yeah. >> imagine get naked from the waste down. whose next. >> i'm robert from north carolina. >> have you ever been naked in public? >> robert, from north carolina, most everyone says yes but one very firm no in the front. is a robert a relative. all right has robert been naked in public? >>um, yeah. i have. >> what happened?
>> i had sex. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. i did that one time. yeah. our next pedestrian is. >> jn ana, i'm from indiana. >> have you ever been take in public? >> jimmy: i could be wrong seems all of the women are saying yes all of the men saying no. all right. >> yes, i have. >> tell me what happened. >> was in jamaica, swim up pool bar soon as you left the boat you had to remove all your clothes. >> that's what they told her anyway and you know jana she can get wild. next up. >> austin morgan from springfield, missouri. >> have you ever been naked in public. >> jimmy: has austin been naked in public let's find out. >> yes. we were at the bahamas and i had
to pee on my wife's leg because she was stung by a jelly fish. >> you had to get fully naked. >> yeah i was drunk. >> jimmy: and there was no jelly fish we're just into weird things. our next pedestrian. >> i'm olivia from north virginia. >> have you ever been naked in public? >> jimmy: most of the audience says no. all right. has olivia been naked to the world? >> no. no. i had to think about that. >> jimmy: of course not. that's not how it goes. i think we have one more out there. >> ken speech from arizona and it's my 70th birthday and i'm going to see jimmy. >> happy birthday. >> thank you very much.
>> have you ever been naked in public? >> jimmy: ken the birthday boy been naked in public everyone says yes. >> absolutely, who wouldn't be. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, look at that. it's ken. happy birthday, ken. how about that. happy birthday, ken. tonight on the show music from buddy guy. from "ready player one" lena waithe is here, and we'll be right back with andy samberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: hi there. >> jimmy: tonight, from the new steven spielberg movie "ready player one" lena waithe is here. then the album is called "both sides of the sky," this is a collection of previously unreleased jimi hendrix songs covered by the great buddy guy from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] buddy will be joined tonight by original hendrix band member billy cox and the slide brothers. is that will be a lot of fun. tomorrow night, will forte and vanessa bayer will be here, we'll have music from dirty heads. and on thursday, zach braff and music from borns.
please join us then. our first guest is a very funny actor and man, most especially man. he plays detective jake peralta on "brooklyn nine-nine," which returns to our national air this sunday night on fox, please welcome andy samberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> yeah. >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> good to see you. thanks guys. that's more than nice. my tenth time on your show. >> jimmy: you know what it's actually your 11th time. >> my 11th time on your show. >> jimmy: which is good too. >> so what do i get for being on 11 times. >> jimmy: what did we give you for 10? >> nothing.
>> jimmy: hm m, how do we top that? you know for your 11th time you get a charger for an iphone 5 [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! >> jimmy: that's yours. this is not a stunt. you get to take that home. ha, ha. >> i just got to go buy an iphone. so thank you for the gift. >> jimmy: your welcome. i probably have a five somewhere in the drawer if you really want one. if you are aware of this, the olympic gold medal winning snow boarder red gerard is like a kid a teenager he almost over slept and missed the event he won the gold because he was watching brooklyn nine nine. >> i heard that i was pleased to hear that. >> >> jimmy: would you have been more pleased if he actually missed the event. >> i think it's better press for the show he made it and won.
>> jimmy: i think so too. >> i was just pleased, a lot of parents and young kids stop me to tell me they like the show i'm like it's also for the late crowd the taco bell fourth meal crowd. >> jimmy: ha,ha,i know what you mean. >> yeah they get their little giggles on. >> jimmy: yeah,he's not the only one. in fact i think i have a photo graph here. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: the brother and sister team alex and mia. >> sexy sids. >> jimmy: where are you guys? >> the vanity fair party. >> jimmy: and they brought their medal. >> and they were like hold this medal we're taking a photo and i was like you got it sexy sivs they're good winning, athletes from olympics. >> you have a very specific fan base. >> i almost went into sports casting, yeah they're olympic athletes with the olympiads with
medals and they scored the thing. >> jimmy: even better than that, luke skywalker himself mark hamel repeatedly tweets how much he loves your show do you know mark hamel. >> i actually know him because i produced a movie that mark hamel was in and i was in salt lake city sort of crossing paths right as mark hamel was coming in to shoot and we were like we should ought get beers and hang out and chat. at first you're like oh, my god it's mark hamel but he's such a nice guy we went to this big bar, was pretty empty, went to the back and had beers and chatted. after a few minutes it's like it's me and mark hanging out. so it was like we got up to
leave and the bar filled in and soon as we stepped back into the main bar it was like luke! luke skywalk er! luke, i'm your father! luke, holy [ bleep ] it's luke! oh, my god, this guy's life is a nightmare. >> probably hasn't had a beer since. >> yeah, no, he was nice with everybody, took pictures. nicest guy. >> jimmy: do you still watch saturday night live. >> every week. i watched it all the time when i was on and keep watching after. >> jimmy: charles barkley hosted not this week but last weekend. >> yeah he was great. >> jimmy: you were there when he hosted once, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what was it like? because i love when he is here. what happens before he comes here is usually his publicist will send a message saying don't talk about drinking or gambling, charles please stay away from these topics and he sits right down and starts talking about
drinking and gambling, likes, immediately, as if he is doing it to do it to defy them. >> like a sit come between his publicist and he. >> jimmy: they gave up doing it. they know he won't listen. what was he like. when he hosted the show when you were there. >> another guy who is just the nicest. so funny. to come from being an athlete and being that charming is such a rare thing. >> jimmy: i know,yeah. >> he's so much fun. one thing, since he talks about it, we were blocking scenes, getting ready for friday night the show was airing next night live, we are sitting there waiting to block a scene and we're sitting it will with some other cast members and he goes keenon let's go to atlanta city. he's like what. he's like you guys work too hard let's go. he real li wanted to go. he was like, no! i was sitting there thinking,
like, because there's only three words why you would go to atlantic city and they are all about cirque du soleil. 2340. >> jimmy: those are the three words. >> i imagine that's all he was thinking about cirque du soleil. >> jimmy: we'll be right back. andy samberg andy samberg. andy samberg. timethis weekend at kohl'ser? take an extra 15% off or an extra 20% off - when you spend $100 or more! update your cookware! new towels - just $10.19!
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with wonderful andy samberg, "brooklyn nine-nine" is coming up,what season are you on. >> season five. in the midst of airing the fifth one. we shot the final night after the oscars and had our wrap up party two nights after. >> jimmy: is that a fun thing for you as the star of the show? >> yeah. i love the wrap party. i mean the wrap party for any show or movie is always interesting because you shoot so much and it's such long hours you kind of forget about how you look a lot of the times especially if you are in the crew. you're in your pajamas basically. it's fun to go to the wrap party because people get all dressed up. dude that looks like a swamp creature is in like a
three-piece suit and looks really good. and they are used to seeing the cast done up with hair and make up and walk up to them at the party like ah! >> jimmy: it's where everything evens out. >> yeah. >> do you no he if the show is picked up a sixth season. >> we don't know. >> jimmy: now "american idol" is on sunday night that's has to be an unwelcome edition. >> how so? am i being set up here. i don't understand the game. >> jimmy: but how does it work when you shoot the season you don't know if it is the last season do you shoot something that could be an ending? >> yeah last year we did it where we were worried about it. we said screw it everyone's going to jail and hopefully come back another season. >> jimmy: i see. >> and that year we shot a little bit of alts just in case. >> jimmy: wow interesting. >> i wanted to do something nuts where it is like just to have it for safety in case it's our last episode where it's like we all
move to the moon. [ laughter ] and it was not in the budget. >> jimmy: have you ever been naked in public? >> oh, thank you for asking. >> jimmy: your welcome. >> seventh grade pe class willard junior high we were doing something on the basketball courts and they have you in those dinky gym shorts and this girl tam i ka was behind me and she pants me. in front of many kids. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> and i don't remember this for sure but i pretty sure i exclaimed my silk boxers! [ laughter ] thank you i would say that for sure deserved an applause break. i feel we're a lot closer now. >> jimmy: did you wear sill k boxers to high school. >> didn't mean to talk to this
at all but yes. i had silk boxers i bought. >> one pair or was it your thing. >> i had two pairs. bought it at the same store i that sold the gibo jeans. this is probably tmi but when you are in junior high and you're a dude you shouldn't wear silk boxers. they are way too silky. >> jimmy: that's great advice. >> yeah so all you dudes out there and some adult men. don't know. but yeah, it was a challenge. >> jimmy: well thank you for sharing that part of your life with us as painful as it was, was also educational. andy samberg watch for "brooklyn nine-nine" 8:30 sunday nights on fox. rite back with lena waithe. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ es yfor your thing. your getting serious thing. that moving out of the friend zone, moving in together and getting two of everything thing.
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please welcome lena waithe. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: let me just test my knowledge of the young people that's a chance the rapper hat right? >> it is. it is. he gave it to me. it's a reject though. he looked at these and was like nah this is not the one i want. it's not the right design. i was in the studio he was like you want this. i was like sure i'll take your reject hat it's only one. >> you just got back from south by southwest in austin, texas where they had you are prize premier. >> was a surprise to all of the excited people. look i think we got a big movie on our hand. >> jimmy: i've been reading good
things about it. >> thank god. >> jimmy: was it fun being in that theater with all those people for the first time. >> it was phenomenal because i was watching a lot of people that don't probably get out that often. the cool thing is it's a love letter to them. if you are obsessed with games, 80s culture, this is for you. we ask you to leave the basement come out the house with your best t-shirt and put the grease in the hair and come out there, come with us. it was so big we blew the speakers. >> jimmy: for real? >> the sound went out at a time it was not supposed to. >> jimmy: oh, no was steven spielberg there? >> he was. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> i thought it was the best thing that could happen, the fact that the whole crowd was like oh, helm no, come on man not right now not at this point in the movie. i mean they were so hyped even if they didn't come back they would have walked out like yo,
that movie is lit, we don't know how it ends but it's amazing. >> jimmy: wow. >> but they fixed the soungd and the crowd literally stood up. >> jimmy: do you have a relationship now with steven spielberg? >> i do. >> jimmy: did you meet him the first time you were auditioning. >> thank god i did not. i would have been very nervous he made the movie all black people watch which is "the color purple" every easter, it's like a weird thing. i would have been very nervous. so no i didn't meet him. i met the amazing casting directors, lewis and feldman called me and said you got the part steven wants you to play h. i was like this is amazing. so i had met him at the night before party it's a great hollywood charity party so that is where i met him.
i go to this party with my best suit on and they walk me over and he's talking to leonardo dicaprio talking about rich white talk and i go up and he's like leo this is lena this is my white person impersonation. he's like hi. so amazing. it's all downhill from here don't do better than steven spielberg and i was like isn't this fantastic. >> jimmy: that's a lot of confidence. walking up. interrupt a conversation between them. >> i was like i don't know what y'all talking about but hi steven good to be in your movie brother. >> jimmy: i was in a party oprah was talking to the weekend and i stood there about
45 feet away and finally just left. >> smart move. >> jimmy: you are on the show "master of none". [ cheers and applause ] you gave one of the great acceptance speeches. even if people don't know you from the show they know you from that speech. >> you the black girl that won the emmy. you the gay girl. i'm like yep. >> jimmy: you get a lot of people mentioning that to you. >> yeah it is interesting. with the awards some people get jaded but the truth is it means a lot to people. even if you don't watch movies you watch the oscars, you don't watch tv still watch the emmys. so it is important to know that that glass ceiling is broken and to know we have a long way to go in our industry if i'm the first black woman to win because i'm definitely not the first black woman to write a funny script. it's just a matter of the industry catching up to the
times. >> which episode did you win for? >> the episode called "thanksgiving". >> jimmy: the one with the poster of jennifer anniston over your bed, right. >> this is true. >> jimmy: this is something you did in real life. >> well, yeah,i don't know if it was over my bed that's exaggerating. but definitely, people think black people didn't watch "friends" i watched friends and i love it, i got all the seasons on dvd. i got the ten-year anniversary book. >> jimmy: you do wow. >> yeah i used to watch "friends" and i was a geek because i love tv so much and listen to the writer's commentator with marta kaufman and david crane why they did this or that. so i had a love for jennifer anniston, don't want my sisters get mad at me like black beyonce,but thing is yes jennifer is an attractive woman and continues to be she's
like fine wine getting better with time, she's back on the market, but look here's the thing, i think the interviews, that's my thing i'm drawn to people's personality and in interviews she be cursing and smoking and hiding it, she's like a rock star like an actor but dope, she's cool. >> jimmy: it's like a serious crush. >> yeah she's dope. >> jimmy: does she know you feel this way? >> she may know now. if she seen the thanksgiving episode i thought i would have got an e-mail or something, like a well-crafted e-mail that started with dearest lena and wrapped up, with, love, jen. haven't got the e-mail. don't know if she seen it yet but if someone told her to check this out i think she will like it. >> jimmy: i will tell her to check it out. >> give her my e-mail. >> jimmy: i think she would have thought it is a joke not
serious. >> no, man, it's a real part almost like a supporting character on the episode. >> jimmy: you say you're engaged. >> i am. >> jimmy: who is your fiance. >> alano mayo. >> jimmy: will you have a bachelorette party. >> yes she will have a more sinful party than mine. >> jimmy: you will have parties? >> yes i don't drink alcohol, there's a hush. i'm a bit of a square. what do you do for fun, i watch television. but alina has more of a party past, out there,getting after it, she likes to say. her and her friends go to vegas. will be alcohol maybe other things i don't know. me and my friends go s to come to exhale" for the 47th time and
maybe revisit "boomerang." [ laughter ] have a mass use come through. i'm going to post mates. >> jimmy: wow. >> and we're going to talk about our feelings. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: seems like a good night. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well it's great to have you here. >> jimmy: lena waithe! "ready player one" opens in theatres and imax on march 29th. and we shall return with music from buddy guy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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'>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank andy samberg, lena waithe and apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. his album is called "both sides of the sky." here with the song "red house," with help from billy cox and the experience hendrix band, buddy guy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, inside the nightmare, she was accused of her own abduction. >> the police didn't believe me because i wasn't bruised and beat up. >> the woman some call the real life "gone girl" sharing details of all too real kids nap alleged sexual assault. >> with her kidnapper in custody. what she's saying to police now. plus puerto rico rising, six months after hurricane maria, back on the island, american families determined to rebuild. >> do you want to stay here is this. >> i want my house back. >> signs of hope.