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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 16, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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>> right now on jimmy kimmel actor singer jamie foxx. >> for all of us have a good actor singer jamie foxx. >> for all of us have a good night ♪ >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight. jamie foxx. betty white. director j.j. abrams. plus a performance from jamie foxx featuring chris brown and kid ink. with cleto and the cletones. and now more than ever, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a five star show for you tonight. jamie foxx is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he has a new album coming out. it's his first album in five years. he's going to reveal the title on our show tonight. the title has been a secret so far. i don't know what it is but i predict and this is my prediction, the title of the album will be bumpin'. sounds good, right? [ applause ] also with us on the show the great betty white is here. [ cheers and applause ] wouldn't it be a wonderful thing
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if jamie foxx and betty white fell in love tonight on the show? the white foxx the tabloids are calling it. after a week off we had a new episode of "scandal." any of you dream of "scandal?" i do. i have had strange dreams. this was bizarre. so i'm at a bar in the dream and i order my usual, pee da with three umbrellas. and then i hear a voice and it's jeff perry looking very dapper. i thank him for the drink. >> thank you for the drink. >> jimmy: then he starts to try to make small talk. >> how about the local sports team? i'm allergic to shell fish but sometimes i say heck, i'm doing it.
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women. am i right? the weather today, am i right? >> jimmy: then he asked me if i wanted appetizers. >> mozzarella sticks. want to split a quesadilla? pot stickers. i can hook us up some pot stickers. bloomin' onions, baby krak crab cakes, baby crab cakes. >> jimmy: i don't want any baby crab cakes, okay. and then i splash my drink in his face. he got very quiet and he melted. then i got hungry and i ordered baby crab cakes. i'll take the baby crab cakes. all of a sudden a woman appears. it was barbie stanchfield. she was very twitchy. >> you can't eat the baby crab
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cakes. >> jimmy: why? >> because they are our baby crab cakes. >> jimmy: i look down and sure enough the crab cakes look just like baby us. [ crying ] >> you don't remember, do you? >> jimmy: the baby crab cakes are crying, and then we start crying. we start crying tartare and it was delicious but disturbing. and then i woke up. ever had that dream? [ cheers and applause ] "time" magazine released today the annual list of the 100 most influential people of the year. it included kim jong-un, kim kardashian and kanye west but not the same reasons. kim and kanye were in jerusalem influencing people. this is interesting.
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an ultra orthodox news website cut kim out of a photo for religious reasons. this was the original photo. kim and ka kanye were having dinner with the mayor of jerusalem. this is what they published. they say kim kardashian contradicts ultra orthodox values so they covered her with a receipt. when you cut her out of one photo she reappears in ten more. she cannot be stop bade receipt. if your religion requires you to use photo shop to cover up actual human beings made with receipts by a cash register maybe time to loosen up and look at alternatives. i hear the hindus are accepting new members right now. have you seen the new "star wars" trailer yet? the force awakens came out trailer came out today. i was not expecting it to be a musical. i was surprised. the movie doesn't come out until
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december 18th but they showed the trailer. this was the tenth "star wars" celebration. it is like comic con. people dress up. there are exhibits, panelists carrie fisher and mark hamill were there. they say it is the place to lose an eye to a prop slight saber. guillermo was there. who is your favorite "star wars" character? >> guillermo: cloou chewbacca. >> jimmy: can you >> guillermo: princess leia solo. >> jimmy: ham solo. who did you sit down with today? >> the director j.j. abrams. >> jimmy: may the force be with
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all of us. the first exclusive interview with director j.j. abrams "star wars" a force awakens." ♪ >> guillermo: hi. it is me guillermo. i'm at the "star wars" celebration for my interview with j.j. abrams. let's go. hi. i'm very, very excited for my interview with j.j. abrams. >> how are you doing? >> what's the name of the movie? >> it is "star wars" the force awakens." >> they had a "star wars" before. you don't think you are ripping them off? >> you have to see the movie. hopefully you'll like it. >> guillermo: is beyonce in the movie? >> yeah. >> guillermo: she is, really?
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>> no. >> guillermo: big mistake. what about spider man, is spider man in the movie. >> no. it is "star wars." spider man is not in the >> guillermo: another big mistake. two mistakes already. you know chewbacca. >> i do. >> guillermo: is he is bear or dog. >> he is a wookie. >> guillermo: what's that? >> a cross between a bear and dog. >> guillermo: i don't understand that. you're very smart. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: do you believe in spaceships. >> i do believe in spaceships, yeah. >> guillermo: have you ever been on probed? >> no, i have not been probed.
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>> guillermo: too bad. mr. j.j. abrams, another important question, how's the movie end? >> how's the movie end? >> guillermo: yes. >> i don't think i can tell you how the movie ends. >> guillermo: you will tell me how the movie ends. >> no, i won't. >> guillermo: it didn't work? >> no. >> guillermo: maybe next time do you like space juice? >> do i like it? >> guillermo: i don't know what it is. >> guillermo: bartender two space juice. you will like it. >> i like it. >> guillermo: so do i. cheers. to mr. j.j. abrams. let the force be with you. >> and you too.
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>> guillermo: thank you. good luck on space. thank you very much. back to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: great job, guillermo. you nailed that one. good luck on space. good luck on space. you look like half princess leia and half ewok. we have to take a break. we don't want to but we have to. when we come back, jamie foxx will sing real life tinder profiles to us. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you love our greatest, now try our latest. olive garden's irresistible new duos. featuring two delicious entrees on one plate. get a taste of what you love, like classic chicken parmigiana, paired with new tastes to explore, like chicken lombardy in a creamy alfredo. or enjoy our lasagna classico and savory sausage rigatoni.
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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. jamie foxx on the way but first
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i have some very important health news to convey, especially for those who like a nice fake tan. doctors are warning that tanning beds can spread herpes. why they cancelled jersey shore. i'm surprised it took them so long to figure this out. it makes sense because bacteria thrives in a warm environment. tanning beds, they are literally a hot bed for herpes. it's a hot bed. i think it would have been bigger news if we found out that tanning beds don't give you herpes but i have to tell you something if i have to get a little herpes to look like a rotting orange peel it's just the price i have to pay. while we are on the subject of sexually transmitted diseases, who in our audience tonight is on tinder? nobody? wow. one guy brave enough to admit he is. if you are on tinder, or if you have a friend who's on, you've probably seen the crazy tinder
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profiles. there are a lot of them. they are fun to read. we thought it might be more fun to hear them set to music. here to sing real, actual unusual tinder profiles please welcome grammy award winner jamie foxx. jamie -- ♪ ♪ >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when wo ♪ i'm not here for hook unless you are ♪ ♪ then we should talk
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♪ i once did number one on myself to stay in a soccer game ♪ ♪ if that's not dedication i don't know what is ♪ i don't know what is ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ clapping ] ♪ i'm a sucker for white cheddar popcorn ♪ for white cheddar popcorn ♪ sing it with me ♪ for white cheddar popcorn for what? ♪ white cheddar popcorn ♪ 6'4" and yes you're welcome
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>> this is for everybody in california. this is for everybody on the west coast who eats air for breakfast and wind for lunch. ♪ please don't be vegan please don't be vegan ♪ please don't be vegan [ cheers and applause ] >> country, too. ♪ please don't be vegan please don't be vegan because i like meat ♪ because veganism is a sin please don't vegan please don't be vegan please don't be vegan ♪
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please don't be vegan ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ let me gather myself for this. ♪ it's [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ for valentine's day day to
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[ bleep ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jamie foxx, everybody. we'll be right back with jamie. ♪ dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the new autotrader, where you can find the perfect car for you. the technology changes, the design evolves, the engineering advances. but the passion to drive a mercedes-benz is something that is common... to every generation of enthusiast. the 2015 dream machines, from mercedes-benz. today's icons. tomorrow's legends. visit the
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>> jimmy: we're bachblg tonight on the show, golden girl if there ever was one, betty white is with us. and the wall of america is populated with all of these people behind me as betty white tattoos. every one of them has a tattoo of betty on their body. tonight, i don't know, maybe she will get some of them tattooed on hers. betty is 93 years old. you know. she ran here tonight. she ran three-quarters of the way and finished the last half mile on a pogo stick. next week on the show we have a good show for you. manny pacquiao will be with us, as will courteney cox, dr. phil, the cast of "black-ish," ellen pompeo, michael b. jordan, chef steve martorano, plus music from alabama shakes, chet faker, matt and kim, and earth, wind, and fire featuring chicago. that will be fun. if it were up to me our first
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guest tonight would be here every night. heed a multitalented man with a new album, this is it, the title is "hollywood." please welcome jamie foxx! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm fantastic. i see you gettin' it. >> jimmy: yeah tharks get it. >> that is beautiful. you made tinder romantic again. leave it to you. >> i'm going to put that on itunes. especially the last one. [ bleep ] yourself. which would be crazy.
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how would -- i mean. >> jimmy: it would require a lot of cgi for sure. >> especially for me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? how's life? how's everything? >> life is really good. >> jimmy: the new album. i was wondering what the title would be and they told me it is "hollywood" which is our address here. >> it surprised me too. making albums is different now. like they -- you know -- you don't have the luxury of how you take time and the band get together and go to guam or laos and lay up and smoke a joint and let it come to us. they are like if you don't get this record out we're going to fire your ass. >> jimmy: is that right? >> we don't give a damn. >> jimmy: it has been five years since you made the last album. how much of a rush could they put on you? >> jimmy, it's a lot of weed. no, it's not that.
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this is what i say. when you do ♪ take my money how do you top that? and then ♪ blame it on the goose it's hard. it is like if you come with ♪ don't blame it on the goose. >> jimmy: no, that wasn't work. you can't do that. >> luckily i have a great group of young, young writers that are helping me out with the album. this kid named k.c. >> jimmy: like children, actual kids? wouldn't that be something? >> compared to me very, very young. got to be young but not too young. like my daughter always -- my oldest daughter checks me about being too -- like wearing too young of clothing. >> jimmy: does she really? >> yeah. i had on some shoes. something, i don't know what it
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was but it had a belt and a hook and a ladder and a chain and all and a locket. she is like dad, what are you doing? and i was like you don't like it and she said it is too young. you have old feet. so you should wear she said you have civil rights feet. you should have like shoes for marching. the sit ins. so what we try to do with this is still had a bounce but not be too young. there's one song that i had a little trouble. ♪ smiley face i didn't know what an they got me to sing the lyric and it makes sense.
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women is always women. it is only for women. when the women hear oh, what type of emoji it would be. >> you are really singing in the song. >> it is hot. it is not like ♪ emojis >> jimmy: i thought it would be like that. is in the most fun for you? >> that's what i came out here to do. i went to college on a classical piano scholarship. i wanted to do music the whole time. i fell in to the comedy and fell in to movies and fell in to winning the oscar. >> jimmy: that happens [ cheers and applause ] >> but music is the only thing that makes me nervous. i want people to dig it. you know what i'm saying. i hear your band, these great musicians?
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>> jimmy: you take it seriously. >> i really take it seriously. >> jimmy: it is sweet you take your daughters to events with you. i have seen you at a few events with your daughters. usually your older daughter comes but you went to the grammys with your younger daughter. how sold she now? >> 6. >> jimmy: here she is with katy perry which must have been exciting for her. >> yeah. crazy. >> jay-z. >> what's the hand signal going on there? >> that's my daughter trademarked that. that's her thing. she's been doing that since she was 2 1/2, 3. she just came out of the womb like i'm here. >> jimmy: pharrell. >> "happy." >> yeah. this must have ban big one for her. >> that's amazing. her and taylor swift share the same birthday date, december 13th. >> jimmy: but her feet are very young.
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>> sir paul mccartney. >> jimmy: did she know who he was? >> she did. >> jimmy: how about madonna? here's a picture of madonna. >> what is crazy is she wanted to meet madonna more than anyone. because she saw the performance and she said dad i have to meet madonna because i love her performance. i said she is right up there and she goes up to her and says i think your performance was the best and she said why do you like it, because you have the horns and everything like that so i think you were the best. you know what madonna said, good taste. >> jimmy: by the end of the night there she is with you. looks like she had enough. jamie foxx is here. new album called "hollywood." we'll be right back. ♪ the jimmy kimmel live concert series presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. it sounds like some weird multiple choice test.
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♪ >> jimmy: we're back with jamie foxx and his new are you still working on it? when is it coming out? what's the release date. >> soon. >> jimmy: it's on the way. >> but some songs to look out for. >> jimmy: what are some of the titles and who are you working with? ♪ i'm supposed to be in love by now ♪ ♪ it's been so long for me i
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don't know how ♪ been drowning in the sea of broken vows ♪ but i'm supposed to be in by now in love -- ♪ so i have been trying to get back to the piano. i have two piano songs that's just the piano. just emotion and voice. i'm supposed to be in love and jumping out a window but hollywood is a dope song. i got the song out of what actually happened to me. >> jimmy: what did happen to me? >> this is what you learn about hollywood. sometimes the person you are dating is really not all of that in to you. it's maybe a step up to whatever is next. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i found this out in a weird way. i was supposed to go to a premier and i have 104 temperature. i'm laying in the bed and the girl i was dating at the time was going what are we doing and
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i said, what do you mean? well, it's the premier, the biggest premier. and i said i am sick. i can't. well i got this dress. i was like what? yes. people are going to be on the red carpet for me and i'm going to be me there i get up and go to the closet, grab the dress and say, go ahead but don't back. that was something -- that's something that tripped me out. like yo, you really need that? okay, cool. i understood and seen her float on to somebody else in hollywood and i said, okay. you got there. >> jimmy: guillermo, grab a stack of "us weekly" we need to figure out who it was. >> so the song brilliantly tells that story. >> jimmy: i can't wait for her to hear it. so some things that sort of touched -- like me and chris
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brown were going to do that later on tonight. yeah, chris brown. the title of the song is called "you changed me." i hope he doesn't mind me saying this. i saw chris brown with his little daughter backstage. it was mind blowing. it was like tears for everybody. people ask me about the situation or why chris is on my record. i have known chris since he was 15 and some of the thing people don't see chris on the inside when he comes and dances with my sister who has down's syndrome for hours. so it is blessful things this kid has to offer. >> do you think if he was he would make you go the premier with him. >> too deep. come on, man. [ bleep ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i tell you what, i am
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so impressed by how well you do everything. it is ridiculous. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's unacceptable. it is almost unacceptable. >> it's just a blessing to be able to do it now because think of it, 20 years ago you couldn't do singing -- we got through talking about comedians trying to do music. >> jimmy: you still can't except for you. you are the only whoun has done it successfully. >> watch. this 20 years ago, 25 years ago on "in living color" i played this character wanda, hey! and teddy riley and guy was at the show. if you don't know who that is, google it. new jack swing was going the show. i had just started "in living color" and i'm dressed as want d.a. but i wanted to give my cassette tape
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[ laughter ] i'm dressed as wanda and they are saying teddy riley about to leave. i'm running down the hallway, and i said, teddy. he looks like what in the -- he didn't really know me. i just got on the show. teddy, man, you have to hear my cassette, man. i sing. he looked at me and said impossible. and i was like oh, there i am walking in my pumps and heels like the incredible hulk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know what that would make a nice title for another song. this is jamie foxx's album. going to hear from we'll be right back with betty white. ♪ dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the new autotrader,
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>> jimmy: jim jamie foxx and chris brown. our next guest is one of our country's most-cherished national resources. she is a seven-time emmy-winning actress you know from our most favorite tv shows ever. on april 26th, she will be the recipient of a lifetime achievement award at the daytime emmys. please welcome betty white. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: come over here. >> oh. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. what's going on with your eye? >> oh, well. the makeup lady had a little problem with me. she hit me.
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i was just -- i mean it was so unexpected, you know. i thought she had a powder puff. she had her fist. >> jimmy: i apologize. that's not how we expect our staff to behave with the guests. >> no, i don't think so. how are you? very good to see you. >> i slipped and fell. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> in the kitchen of all things. i never go in the kitchen. [ laughter ] >> because it's dangerous. >> jimmy: it is dangerous. they say it is one of the most dangerous rooms in the house. the last time you were here, which i think was four years ago, you might have driven here. are you still driving? >> not as much. i still drive. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah but i -- people spoil me. i get driven. >> jimmy: you get driven. that is a nice perk to have for sure. you like driving? you enjoy it?
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>> i love to drive. i have a house up in caramel and i love that drive. i could drive forever. i just love it. >> jimmy: do you remember how old you were when you got your driver's license? >> i think i was 4. no that was something else. that is when i lost my virginity. [ applause ] [ laughter ] but i think when i got my driver's license i was 16. >> jimmy: 16 years old. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what year was that? >> if you are trying to find my age i'm 93. >> jimmy: well, i know i'm not good with the math. >> what year would that be? i was born in '22. so 16 is '32 and '38. >> jimmy: 1938.
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>> very good at math. >> jimmy: what was it like driving in 1938? >> lovely. i was thrilled of course. i love to drooive. but when you first start driving it's a thrill. >> jimmy: it's the best feeling. the sec best feeling there is. you know? >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: you are receiving a fetime award on the daytime emmys and a lifetime achievement award on saturday at the tvland awards. >> trust me, i'm the most spoiled old broad in captivity. but i appreciate it so much. how lucky can you be at this age? >> jimmy: it is pretty remarkable. it's unbelievable. we counted it up today. you have received eight lifetime achievement awards.
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[ laughter ] >> that's eight lifetimes. >> jimmy: that's a great honor. i don't mean to diminish it but there's no greater honor, in any opinion, when one of your fans goes so far as to have your face permanently tattooed on his or her body. >> oh, dear. >> jimmy: i don't know if you are aware of this but tonight -- we did research and there are a lot of people who have you tattooed on them. >> really? >> jimmy: all of these people have your tattoo. you can see them right there. there they are right there. let's talk to morgan in the top corner there. morgan is from logan, wv wvmt morgan, bring her up. morgan -- first of all how old are you? >> i'm 20. oh, my god. i love you so much. you are so beautiful. >> jimmy: thank you, morgan. let's see your tattoo.
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show us your tattoo, morgan. >> oh, no! >> jimmy: wow. >> oh, my heavens and you have to live with that all the time. >> i love it. i love >> jimmy: bring up ail h. allen. >> hi, betty. >> jimmy: hi h. allen. how are you? >> i'm doing great. how are you doing. >> jimmy: look at that, betty. there you are right there. all of the "golden girls." >> all the girls. oh, good. >> jimmy: how does this make you feel, betty? >> it makes me feel wonderful and so glad that i'm not them.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: everybody show your tattoos to the camera so we can see all of them. everybody get up to the camera so we can see all of the betty white tattoos that they have. i mean, this is unbelievable. look at that. betty white, everybody. daytime emmys sunday april 26th. we'll be right back with -- do you want to stick around? when we come back we have music from jamie foxx. >> will i be in the way. >> jimmy: you will not be in the way at all. you are more than welcome to stay with us. >> thank goodness all of those tattoos were on their arm. >> jimmy: betty white. we'll be right back. dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.
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i moved our old security system out here to see if it could monitor the front yard. why don't you switch to xfinity home? i get live video monitoring and 24/7 professional monitoring that i can arm and disarm from anywhere. hear ye! the awkward, teenaged one has arrived. switch to modern security. add xfinity home for $29.95 a month and lock in your rate for 2 years. plus save up to 20% on your home owners insurance. call 1-800-xfinity today. i'd like to thank betty white, j.j. abrams. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him.
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"nightline" is next. but first, this is his album "hollywood." here with the song "you changed me" with some help from chris brown, jamie foxx! ♪ ♪ all the things i used to be i ain't no more shorty you're the change ♪ ♪ that i've been hoping for ohh when they turn them cameras on they can't see ♪ oh yeah ♪ when we're all alone change me yes you did ♪ oh ♪ i got a thing for you ain't no other girls in mind it's me and you baby i love you ♪
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♪ 'cause you changed me baby ♪ 'cause you changed me baby ♪ 'cause you changed me baby ♪ never settle down look at me now ♪ change me baby ♪ i be player for life you switched that up in one night, oh baby ♪ ♪ ain't no sense in frontin' when you know i got a thing for you baby i love you ♪ ♪ ♪ the kind of -- never wanna settle down not just the physical you mentally stimulate me ♪ ♪ i'm really in love that's crazy girl you can't even save me you got me thinkin' ♪ ♪ 'bout us havin' us some babies everything about love got me like ♪ ♪ baby come home and put it on me tonight i want it right now girl i can't even lie ♪
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♪ them other girls they ain't you you're the only one i need and that's the truth ♪ ♪ oh baby ain't no sense in frontin' when you know i got a thing for you ♪ ♪ ain't no other girls in mind it's me and you baby i love you used to be the kind of -- ♪ ♪ never wanna settle down 'cause you changed me baby 'cause you changed me baby 'cause you changed me baby ♪ ♪ girl it ain't just me tell 'em how you feel breezy ♪ you know what i'm missin' fiendin' for your kisses ♪ ♪ all night on my phone when you talk i listen sexin' all in the kitchen breakin' all of ♪ ♪ these dishes your crib or my bed it don't make a difference i'm lickin' on your body ♪ ♪ girl i'm feelin' on your booty now you really wanna do the nasty girl i love it when you ♪
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♪ get on your knees you make me disappear like magic girl you don't even know ♪ ♪ all the -- i let go for you ain't no sense in frontin' when you know ♪ ♪ i got a thing for you ain't no other girls in mind it's me and you baby i love you ♪ ♪ used to be the kind of -- never wanna settle down all the things we used to be we ain't no more ♪ ♪ cause you changed me baby ♪ shorty you're the change that i've been hoping for say i never settled down i'm with you girl ♪ ♪ look at me now cause you changed me baby i be player for life you switched that up ♪ ♪ in one night oh baby ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." tonight, call it a custody battle 2.0. sofia vergara fighting with her exover their frozen embryos even though the actress has a new man and they are not the only ones. and so what happens to embryos when things fall apart. hot tubs outdoor kitchens and luxury bathrooms. cebrity real estate expert franklin is the ultimate salesman with multimillion-dollar deals that brought him happy clients and luxury lifestyle. now she sharing his secrets to secret. "star wars" celebrations. super fans


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