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tv   Franchesca Ramsey Well That Escalated Quickly  CSPAN  July 2, 2018 10:34pm-11:45pm EDT

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>> everybody welcome. it is so wonderfully blessed to have you here. thank you for coming out you are not here to see me so i will get out of the way.
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[laughter] women are here going to bless us with their conversation and q&a at the end we will be coming around with the microphone these are questions not speeches nobody came to hear you either. [laughter] and then we will lineup at the end for the signing. that is all the housekeeping have the pleasure here we have been around for 11 years and 100 more we love our community and authors that bring their books and you have everybody come out tonight and also for welcoming your little bookstore into your space so
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tonight we have the two friends. [laughter] [applause] beautiful incredible in conversation partner is a wellness advocate based out of harlem and then did the most beautiful thing for her community founding a friend and has a wellness podcast and as speakers network. [applause] and she will be assessing with our main attraction francesca ramsey d2 i don't necessarily need to give. bio but this book really
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struck me everybody who could read the advanced comp be but you long -- copy you answer call you didn't have to answer and you have cap this conversation going so thank you for that creativity that you bring thank you for joining us for this event tonight. [applause] >> i really do not want to cry. [laughter]
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>> okay i'm about to cry mech this is why. [laughter] thank you so much i am part of our first event i am an only child so they set i have to come here to be friends with another francesca. [laughter] this is wonderful thank you so much. so first of all your book is out today even you start from
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the very beginning. >> we have been exhausted what we can francesca share this does not pay well. [laughter] when you try to create a brain -- a brand focused on unity with a sense of empowerment and love it's not easy so we have days we would call each other crying and there was one time and i moved to atlanta and i said i'm done. are going to buy a house i
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will pop out a baby. [laughter] you know how everybody in atlanta has the same house? [laughter] i was ready to go. i was so devastated there wasn't much i could say but then you start questioning why are you doing this? it's so difficult but it comes from the heart that then got a call to be aghast on the roundtable and you were nervous and i saw that it would be about politics which
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i did not feel to be a competent speaker at all and at that time i did not know what the future would bring. [laughter] but i didn't want to do it i was so scared and i felt it was about the republican debates and i did not feel confident at all and they felt it was important to share that we are called to do things out of our comfort but that is why we should do them. >> and you were amazing we were all freaking out. >> that you did amazing and that was the introduction to
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leveling up and then all of a sudden everything changed okay. wow. [laughter] but it was good but larry and the team believed in me especially with the internet and you know this to the stigma we are working with professionals but i was in a room full of people like the daily show or the office fresh prince, in living color, and i
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make videos on the internet. [laughter] but then we have the video we made together and people were mad about that. [laughter] and then where do i find that patient? [laughter] i was so mad because people were going to the site but this was our level of fame to be in a room full of people that is not part of that world is hard to explain to them what i did and why it was there often people project
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their insecurities on to me like how did she get here? and she is a writer here too? right. i deserve to be here so i'm glad i had that experience because i learned i do have the right to be there but it is just so cool to see the doors that it has opened. >> and then calling me and asking me. >> and then say i have this anxiety. i am wild but is this on my
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desk? what is happening? [laughter] so talk about getting used to be on television because it happened overnight. >> i was getting my nails done because i talk with my hands a lot and my nails were busted. [laughter] so i was fortunate because i had a boss after every episode would talk to us about how we did on the show and i had friends that never got feedback then you need to get to the editing room where i look awful because they don't give you feedback. so mary would do the roundtable with us and say get out of your head if you mess
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up the line then just say it over we will edit that i was overthinking everything but also i would be on twitter throwing blows after every episode. [laughter] when time they say you spend a lot of time on twitter that you are arguing like with a rapist. and i would think and i would think t17. in all people that did not make it on their that would take the question to get the answer to a different question
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i would feel they didn't know what i was talking about what was really an exercise to be professional that knowing i was doing the best that i could do and continuously working to get better and abbas that wanted us to get better to give us the tools and the feedback you don't want to do that that topic doesn't feel comfortable to you you should do it and that was meaningful for me. >> we have the same name and you know how we all look alike. [laughter] i would randomly get hate mail. >> sometimes she is hate mail or i get hers so i changed her
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life. [laughter] but meanwhile i'm opening my e-mail. [laughter] what? i am so sorry. >> but it opened my eyes. >> it is bad it is really, really bad and then to continue to push the stream the more visible you get the more backlash. >> i am very fortunate i have an audience that is so engaged in vocal and if you follow me on snapchat you will know. [laughter] that i say i cannot do this anymore and then they say you've got this we are rooting for you.
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for all the negative things about the internet, there is a lot of positives i grew up in west palm beach florida. [applause] we never show up to anything so i had to build my black family later in life so i am very fortunate now but i met that community through the internet i didn't know anybody with natural hair so sometimes you all throw down in the common.
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so i have to remind myself because we all deal with negative people like it's very easy to give them time and attention but giving all this time and energy to people who don't like me meanwhile people say is my birthday and you change my life but then it's probably a russian but probably not even a real person. so i encourage people to listen to my personal story and to divert attention with the people in your life that are supporting you that you are not giving them the things
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for doing that but instead putting it to the people that are not here for you to be a part of that community. >> so talk about becoming an accidental activist. [laughter] sundays i will look at my feed and then follow 600 people max away to feel bad for real. >> i had a regular job and when i say that to people i don't know if they really understand i was at a desk doing stuff on the side but i didn't know this video would
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resonate with so many people or writing for television or peaking colleges or vf that can film festival. [laughter] people are so wealthy. [laughter] does anybody know that i'm not supposed to be here? it is wild i never could have imagined these things happening so what happens that video people were calling for me to have these conversations my parents are amazing that i think they try to shield me from a lot of conversation my mom would just say they are jealous that they did talk to
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me about what privilege meant but not in the context of you are black and that is to special but that is amazing and here i was i had never heard the word micro- aggression before let alone talk about it and i feel like i happen so often you are talking to somebody and you don't know what you are talking about or how to move the conversation forward. and that i had a knack for it to use my sense of humor that i couldn't do anything with and use that for something that is the way i talked about
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activism. >> talk about the practice of getting published did you know that you are going to focus on this activism or did that come once you started with the proposal? >> i started to take notes i had that right after what shit that will say. so the book proposal is so bad. it was ten pages long and each chapter you have to make a chapter outline each chapter was three sentences like i
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wrote three chapters some of the outlines i have five or ten paragraphs i just was not ready. but i knew that i wanted to do something but i just wasn't sure so when something would happen i would take notes and that resonated with people that your audience lets you know okay so let me try this so that story on snapchat went viral and then when the nightly show got canceled now i have to try to write this book i pitched it as the accidental activist and my
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editor would you be interested in changing the title? because now my interest was because you encounter so many people who want to blow smoke up your. i know what works for me with a good critique so i had all these meetings accidental activist is amazing. [laughter] i put that flowchart in my book proposal and said your heart is in the right place but it is fucked up.
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we think the book should be called fucked up. [laughter] but people don't want to be called fucked up. that is what people say every time to a black girl. no. she was in like the idea of accidental activist but is there a way to expand this? so she really thought about it she wasn't saying you should write a book but this is good but can we make it better? so i met with so many literary agents. and randy who is not here tonight said it could be better. [laughter]
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and set it will take your proposal and ripping to shreds but then you have to work with me and i said okay okay. she ripped it into 60 pages and said it doesn't fit the narrative of what the book is about. you can go online to look up sample book proposals so i worked with her i want the coolest book proposal anybody has ever seen i want color and pretty handmade looking font that when you open it it is
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well. not a white vf i had pictures of my fan and pie charts and pictures of demographics with how many followers on twitter and i will call every single person to promote this book. [laughter] i try to make it me and i encourage everybody when somebody open that e-mail i know exactly who this is from. >> with the movies then you're really stressed and say why am
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why are you writing this book? so what was your process? were you hiding out? >> i was so stressed. i was writing the pilot at the same time. everybody wants to work with me. [laughter] but i was stressed i was writing all day that i would write at night and on the weekend i used a lot of voice to text put my headphones on and and would use that to go back to put together the remnants of the great story i had a great editor who would say dig into this story were
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the expert online with every area of friends i told the personal story about the dude i subbed with in college are those who are homophobic. i don't like you i haven't talked using freshman year and britney was like tell me a story about an ask so i had a great support team that it was really stressful but making the involved book proposal helped a lot i know that i am very long-winded. >> so once you got started in the writing process did you
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have it in the back of your mind you would be scrutinizing every single word? [laughter] and some of those stories i would think of your mom. >> i know one of my instagram stories he said i'm very proud of you read your very first book there is language i would not have used in some unknown reveals. [laughter] is and what does that mean and she did not answer so you know. [laughter] >> don't worry about it i couldn't sleep last night and tu
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say your book is a flop. and yes i do worry about it. wht
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believe like what are you doing and so i felt a responsibility to be honest if
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we inappropriate
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and on a basis but i wonder if the stories are not send command here is what my process has been and i often say that's why old and out of control. but i had an assistant and
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sometimes she will say i don't say it's crazy and often times we use it so it is a very heavy weighted word especially as we are going through the struggles that used to be labeled as crazy and it is just humanizing for seeking treatment and talking about the mental illness and so when it was brought to my
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attention i didn't go on this word so for me i feel like leading by example is just the way that it has worked for me. so it's difficult i have to use the analogy like you just learned a. [laughter] and then you are like that is a bad idea. that's how i feel like there are some words this would encapsulate how i'm feeling right now.
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i got called out for that one a few years ago and they still face a lot of persecution overseas. and about the practice of people stealing these children. unfortunately sometimes they have to turn at bat because no one will hire them and so it comes from this idea you can't trust them.
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we did an episode about it and i reached out to a girl on tumbler and she's our consultant for the episode and it is just i.e. opening but it's something that we say all the time like half of the people's stock is in gypsy clothing. it's on everything. >> and especially the spirit animal
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. so there is some people that you talk about.
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and that is a song that i love. can we hear the same song? [laughter] and if there are any concerns. >> i am sure they have google alert. [laughter] i don't know. with that perspective i try to choose my words carefully.
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sorry. but i really do think to be called out means that people believe you can do better. especially it is difficult to put yourself out there and open yourself up that you are too sensitive everybody believes everything about race. so i try to say thank you. and here is how you can be better. and to take the time to read the book not to mention the fact and then i say that i like the song there is a story
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with lena dunham and i do not like her. most people cannot say they have done that. and then to write about this on the internet and hold them accountable. and not always do that on a way that is thoughtful. and while they are lots of things i do not agree with and i told her this is what i would do i got the e-mail. i don't think that this is
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fair. so all of this experience is worthwhile. maybe not on the other end of the story. >> you have a favorite chapter? >> i think my favorite chapter is what has completely changed my mindset. i have spent so much time was se
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completely changed my perspective and realized she was actually working her ass off and i should have been studying what she was getting instead of hatindoing instead of hatingon t grinding, taking every meeting, going to every audition, just
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doing all this stuff i realized i wasn't doing any of that i was just getting stoned and going on instead -- instagram feeling bad about myself. [laughter] dothat experience helped me when it comes to people hating on me i feel like i've been there. when people are like you think you are so pretty, you know what i mean, like they let you know what it is. do you know what i mean when i say people say she thinks she's so great and they list your full resume, and it's like how do you know my resume? that was a great job. that was a fun time. how do you know about that? [laughter]
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so, i was that person and so whenever i tell people that, i feel like they are really surprised. i think think a lot of people n learn something from that and it's easileasily applicable to s and careers. >> and it was giving you the depth that you have now to see on the other side of the spectrum because you've seen that internet gangster. [laughter] now we are going to open up questions to the audience. we had a lot of writers in the audience -- okay, let's go. >> thank you so much.
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my question is in terms of black activism. there's all this concern of having in-house conversations and out of house conversations. how can we as black people in the community talk about our issues and highlights certain things without feeling like we are dragging other black people and leaving this collective much where we are supposed to be uplifting each other, like how do we handle both? >> that is a great question. it's funny because i like and it too you know how when you would get in trouble as a kid and your mom would give you that look that she was going to tear you up when you got home because she wasn't going to do that in the store, and you have to spen hade whole time in the store being like a oh god. [laughter] it's kind of like that, like
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everybody is dragging somebody but they won't say their name. and i think that those conversations need to have beend there is a way to have them without speaking about a specific person. i say that a lot when i think of places like i've often seen people do this. are you talking about this person or this person? the second that you can name people it could be told you i'm not talking about a specific person, i'm talking about a specific behavior. one of the things i talk about in the book is a chapter called youtube callout please and i think that we have to do more of that work. it takes more time and it doesn't always work out but i think that often we need to pull people aside and talk to them
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rather than putting them on the last publicly, in my experience just a lot of people don't learn that way. the community as a whole has a negative repercussions because people that are watching and thinking my gosh, i am so scared something bad is going to happ happen. but to also think of it as successful to lots of people and not one specific person but focus on the behavior. [inaudible] [laughter] my question is i feel like no more thanowmore than ever theref conversation around the forefront of being black and being woke and more recently for
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example having a nonblack spouse. so i want to hear your thoughts about that. >> i talk about my husband and people know him because we went to the podcast together and i think that it is unfair for someone to partner. we are different people in the work that i do i think that it is unfair because he is my partner because i've never gotten a piece of hate mail [inaudible] in my inbox but it never happens and so i think like with donald
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glover in particular, there's legitimate conversations to be had at some of the things he's said about black women, and there's a very important distinction -- sorry, i love and elegies so much. you know when you deal with catcalls and then go dude is like it'slike i cannot complimen and it's like yeah don't be an asshole. people see that happening, and then they assume i must do that. they assume i must want like a lease on monday baby -- lisa monet baby but i'm not like that. my work speak for itself. there is an important conversation to be had when it
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comes to people who are in interracial relationships and they use that inter- relationa l relationship as some kind of a badge or something. like its no it's not that hard t laid. sleeping with somebody of a different race is just not an accomplishment. it's really not. [laughter] i love my husband, that i love him because he's funny and he's very smart and he holds me accountable come he's honest with me and he calls on me to be better and he believes in me. his race is not a part of why i love him. it's part of who he is, the same way the being black is a part of who i am, but i'm a complex person. i mean a lot of different things. i don't think it is an unfair
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conversation. i just wish people would go case by case. >> hello, franchesca. has there been any backlash for you when you are being so vocal and talking about identities, race and politics and have there been any backlash to your career and how do you deal with that? >> i wrote a whole book about it. [laughter] there's a lot of backlash. my mentions and comments are terrible, they are terrible. one of the great things about her is that i never really get incoming mail.
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i don't -- if you want to message me i might go on my website and it goes to my intern, and if she thinks it is an e-mail worth responding to me, she will send it to me. she wasn't being a collection each week like here's some to respond to or she will send them to the appropriate people. i have filters on my e-mail for every spelling of the n-word because they get creative. sometimes they will put three in in. like what? so then i would have to spend time coming up with all of the variations of spelling. i'm just so glad i don't have to look at that stuff anymore. i've also had a time where one of the things i put in the
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activist lens is i used to talk about feeling bad all the time, like i am so fat. and i didn't think about what i was actually saying. and somebody that i've now become good friends with online, she calls me out for it. she doesn't mince words and i don't hold it against her but she's like i'm tired of skinny bitches. people project this stuff on me and i'm eating salad in the park. like all this stuff in here i am like i feel fat because i ate a piece of pizza. so yes i got backlash. weight loss like remember when all of the people were mad about the rainbow oreo?
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i made a video about it. that isn't how it works. not like i was trying to do the right thing. i am dealing with backlash. what i d do amplify and prevent other people to do is to take a step back and reflect because sometimes there is a grain of truth. i don't know where this analogy goes, but a package that we should open. [laughter] don't open packages without anybody else's consent. [laughter] >> not to mention the people that have made a career out of your background. it is wild. there are so many people that have made a career out of me.
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but, you know that's all good. it helps. i can tell yo can't tell you hoy meetings i've been in where it's like they share everything. but for that same reason i say don't share and watch hateful folks because you are putting money in their pocket. a click is a click. i did what you're asking about. i made this tweet where it was like people make this hateful content just so that it will piss you off. everyone is like have you seen this? she is making so much money off of this. so the people that don't like
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me, our views are higher than they've ever been. [applause] [inaudible] good evening. thank you for writing this book. i wanted to know what you thought about the online social media canceling culture. someone does something wrong from three years ago says something in a book. how do we deal in the present with individuals in a fairway? >> it's interesting because so
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often people are canceled and then they are career continues. their career continues. like they are just fine. we were just talking about this before. i don't know if you remember this moment she got on the plane and that i'm going to africa. i hope i don't get aids. it was like a big joke she got fired. like it was my old. like it was a really big deal. everybody was talking about justine being canceled and she is now like the marketing director of the company for match.com so what did it do to justine? a nothing.
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so, i don't think that it's fair sometimes especially when you go digging and i say this to someone that has gone to find what she's been looking for. i don't think that's fair. you have to give people the space to grow into the same grace people have given me and try to get other people. it is a personal choice i don't think we can does the code collectively decide someone is canceled. are there people out here that have legitimacy done people and awful things and they continue to strive? tweeting about them doesn't do anything.
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so stopping watching their movies, stopping listening to their music, you know, telling brands and advertisers sometimes like you saw what happened with the parkland students, the woman from fox and making fun of david for not getting into certain classes in colleges and he clapped back and said here's a list of advertisers. like i don't watch that person's show. how do i cancel something that i do not subscribe to a. i don't think we have to be conscious about how we do that but we also have to. here's how i've lived forward to
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to. people see me for all sorts of reasons and i just have to say [inaudible] >> especially on a tumbler there are so many people that are probably doing the same thing. she's doing this and this. we can't cancel anyone. it is kind of unproductive. >> happy to be here. can't wait to read your book. i wanted to ask a question about black women and respectability politics. especially in the mainstream media. recently -- i forgot her name -- azelea banks criticized cardi b
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and it's a conversation going on about what it means to rise up and achieve success and what does it mean to be accepting of another idea and what it means to be a successful black woman or a woman of color. >> it's funny because i don't think that it drags into this conversation where people will say things like i am tired of every black female comedian being from an upper middle class background and i am of the mind that there is space for all of us. i don't think that it's fair to tell people that they should be one type of black or gay or whatever. the goal is to have a space where everybody can be who they are and be successful because of it and not in spite of it.
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i think that it's also unfair to say it cardi bjob to represent black women in a way that she is never going to make everybody happy. are there things that could be critiqued? sure. i would say the same for azelea banks and lots of different celebrities. but i think that it's really unfair to say now you are a person in the public eye. it's kind of prescribing to the system we are supposed to be fighting against where i see a black person, you know, rob a bank even though i do like they don't really rob banks. [laughter]
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i remember when a girl told me i couldn't come over to her house so much. essentially what you then say you must be perfect so that all black people look good. it's not fair for somebody to look at cardi b and then if she fucks up they say that's what it's like people do, they get pregnant and use bad language and they have a tattoo on their leg and it's like no i don't have a tattoo on my leg. that's cardi b. why are you saying i must be like her or that she needs to embody this imaginary standard that makes all of us look at? that isn't fair. i must also say i understand how that respectability politics have contributed to my success
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because i know that my mother was very strict about the way that i speak. we had a jar i have to put a dollar into and my mom would say to me you don't speak that way and now as an adult i realized why she was telling me that, and i don't blame her. she said you need to speak a different way. this is how people are going to perceive you. and i know that, which is why i think that i have a responsibility to use my privilege to say cardi b is not less intelligent because she doesn't sound like me and she isn't plus intelligent because she doesn't sound like me. i am just as much of a valid block women and leslie jones and whoever else. [applause]
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we are going to do a signing so one last question. >> one thing i love about you as yoisyou are very mindful and its something you've always had to did you just grow into it as you started going into the business and realizing there were things that were bigger than yourself? >> that is a big part of it. keep in mind i'm an artist and i'm sensitive about my shit. i'm very sensitive. i can't even watch certain movies. my nickname in college was [inaudible] like if you tell me about you
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getting hurt i can feel it and when i watch movies it's like remember one time i saw dead pool with some friends [inaudible] [laughter] it's true i make so much noise and i think that i'm like that with everything. like i see myself going through something and i put myself into their shoes and i know what it likes. i just feel so bad. i will message did you see so and so getting dragged i feel so bad. i feel horrible. i feel so bad. [laughter] so that is just part of my personality. and i think sometimes i wish i didn't have this.
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i wish i could feel like i'm goinbe like i'm goingto do whate for some people it makes it successful. they don't obey the rules, they lie. they go on to be the president. [laughter] they literally just do everything wrong and it works out for them like why do i try so hard and care about this. i don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. i wanted to console and help them. it means being a good creator and why my wordpress techniques with people because they can tell that i care so much. >> thank you all so much for coming. [applause] wait one second. i love that you all know.
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>> [inaudible] don't forget we are going to do a signing [inaudible] >> okay let's do this for one second. i just finished my first book talk. i wonder how it went. how did it go? [cheering] i think it went pretty good. [applause] [inaudible] we are excited and we cannot wait to see what happens. thank you so much. [applause] [cheering] let's find some books.
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look at the pens. they are the same color. [inaudible conversations]
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next, syndicated columnist salena zito and gop strategist at brad todd on their books "the great revolt" looks at the swing states that supported president trump and what it means for future elections. they were interviewed on serious xm radio in washington, d.c.. this is just under one hour. [applause] >> thank you and welcome to washington. i'm david with washington examiner, but we are here to talk to brad todd and salena zito, the authors of "a great revolt," and it is a heck of a book imploring both the kind of anecdotes that really tell you who the voters are and what motivates them with the kind of data that can help you extrapolate from what they are actually going to do and why they are going to do it. it's the kind of thing that i think the so-called experts t

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