his -- [inaudible] they didn't want that word, "missile," to ever be mentioned again. [inaudible] this is just a shame, to think the investigation from day one -- >> as a matter of fact, that's what got me started. because four years after the crash, i met james and elizabeth sanders who came to kansas city to speak to a large twa group. and you're right, sanders, an investigative reporter, terry stacy was a 747 manager and pilot working at the investigation, and the first -- what happened is, and liz sanders was a twa trainer.
and 53 twa employees were killed in that crash. she knew a lot of them, she trained a lot of them, and she was heart broken. she was going from one memorial service to another. she runs into stacy, and stacy says, hey, is your husband still an investigative reporter. and she says, yeah. she goes, or have him talk to me. so stacy and sanders get together, and the first thing stacy tells sanders is, there's a cover-up going on. and so they started collaborating to get information out of the investigation into the mainstream. and one thing that stacy told sanders about was this orange residue on these seatbacks and in one certain section of the plane. sanders asks him to scrape off the residue. it doesn't scrape, so he takes a pinch of foam rubber. puts it in a fedex envelope, sends it to sanders, sanders has it tested, goes public with the results. as a result of that, stacy, sanders and elizabeth sanders are hounded, finally arrested.
elizabeth and james are tried and convicted in a federal court of conspiracy to steal airplane parts. [laughter] and not a single person in the media raised this as a first amendment issue. and when i heard that story, that's when i said, maybe i better get involved in this. so i want to thank you all for coming out. [applause] it won't shock you to know that i've got books over there for sale. [laughter] i appreciate it. if you want to stick around, and i will say this, by the way, if you know anyone who has information, have them go to my web site, cashill.com, and talk to me. communicate through that, okay? appreciate it. [inaudible conversations]
>> every weekend booktv brings you 48 hours of nonfiction books and authors, and here's a look at some of our programs for this coming weekend. tonight at 8:45 eastern, mit film and media professor heather hendershot, author of open to debate: how will william f. buckley put america on the firing line," looks at how he used firing line to open arguments outside of his conservative circles which made him an early pundit. >> as our level of discourse seemed to be deteriorating the shouting matches increasing and so on, it seemed like a particularly important time to be talking about a show that valued civil debate between people who disagreed with each other.
>> sunday on "in depth," the 75th anniversary of the attack on pearl harbor features steve toomey and craig nelson, and we'll be taking your phone calls, tweets and e-mail questions live from noon to 3 a.m. eastern. and at 9 p.m. eastern on "after words," former senate george mitchell looks at the israeli/palestinian conflict in his book, "a path to peace: a brief history of israeli/palestinian negotiations and a way forward in the middle east." he's interviewed by jane harman, president and ceo of the woodrow wilson center. >> president abbas and the palestinian authority have long since renounced violence, have accepted israel's existence and have opted for peaceful negotiation to achieve a state. >> go to booktv.org for the complete weekend schedule. [applause] >> thank you so much.
good afternoon. and i don't think that this is one single empty seat here as i look out, so welcome to miami book fair, and it's truly a pleasure to see so many of you here. i've seen many of you all day long, but we're in for another outstanding session here. i want to thank our sponsors, first of all, the knight foundation, ohl, the grout foundation, the degrout foundation, excuse me, and the bachelor foundation. i'd also like to acknowledge friends of miami book fair, our circle of friends. thank you so much for your support and your ongoing just really camaraderie here with miami book fair international. miami-dade college is the convener for or miami book fair -- for miami book fair, and that has been three decades plus
of outstanding programming, so thank you to miami-dade college. [applause] we're going to get right on with the show, and at this time i'd like to bring mr. philippe basulto of td bank to the podium. and as many of you know, that is america's most convenient bank, from what i understand. [laughter] so thank you. [applause] >> that was paid. [laughter] good afternoon, everyone. it truly is an honor and a pleasure to be here today at this incredible event. miami-dade college does such an outstanding job. but more so, i get the privilege and the honor of introducing probably one of florida's greatest treasures, and, you know, i could read a bio, but i firmly believe by the crowd that's here that we all know exactly who dave barry is. [laughter] [applause]
you know, having a chance, being born and raised here in miami and really loving miami, florida, in general, it truly is an honor that we have an author who not only gets us, but actually writes it and writes it so well. so i don't want to keep boring you with me, because i have nothing to give except an introduction today. it is my pleasure to introduce to you mr. dave barry. [applause] >> thank you. thank you. thank you all for coming out, and thanks to the miami book fair which is the best book fair in the united states, and it's -- yeah. [applause] >> thank you all for coming out. there will be no concert by the rock bottom remainders this year. >> oh! >> the people booing never heard
of the rock bottom remainders. [laughter] no, we are -- we have played here more than any place else, which is not really a tribute to -- [laughter] no other city will have us that many times. we play, it's a genre we call hard listening music. [laughter] but it just, it's the logistics. it's difficult to get everybody, people can roam all over the country that are in this band, which is why we sound the way we do. we never -- other bands, i've been told, practice the songs ahead of time. [laughter] and we don't. we go and play the songs, and then we go, we should have practiced that song, you know? [laughter] which is not the same thing. but what we do, the reason we're still together after 27, 26 years, anyways, the reason we're still together is that we love each other's company. we particularly, after we play we always go out. we go to, usually, a hotel room
or a bar, and we consume adult beverages and talk. [laughter] and that is usually my favorite part of being in the remainders, although one time it produced a scary moment for me. this was in new york city, and we had played a gig. that's a musician term for -- [laughter] we played a gig with chords in it. [laughter] too many chords. and afterward, we went to the hotel bar. i may have had a few too many vodka gimlets. and i was sitting between roy blunt jr. and thot thorough -- scott thoreau, two of my favorite people in the band, and i was torn between the two guys. scott was telling this really long story about his spleen. [laughter] detailed. to the people, you know, kind of listening.
and i was tubing in and tuning out -- tuning in and tuning out and talking to roy and other people, and i kept forgetting whether he had a spleen or not -- [laughter] which was critical to the story. so i asked him, like, can you just remind me, do you have a spleen? he goes, no, i don't have a spleen. that's the point of the story. okay. and then i asked him again, no, i don't have a spleen, that's the point of the story. are you listening? i asked him a third time, and he took a sharpie and pulled up my sleeve and wrote "no spleen." [laughter] in big letters on my forearm. but wait. [laughter] so we all finally finish and go to bed, and we had an early train the next morning to boston from new york. and i get up, and i'm really not in a great state. and i stagger toward the bathroom, and i catch sight of myself in the mirror, and i see there's something written on my arm, which i have no memory of.
and and i look down, and it says "no spleen." [laughter] and you know that urban legend -- [laughter] where the businessman wakes up in a hotel bathtub packed in ice, and his kidney has been harvested? [laughter] i, i'm not kidding, it was a moment of utter terror followed by confusion because i didn't know where to look, i don't know where my spleen -- [laughter] i don't know where my spleen is. [laughter] and also then it occurred to me, it's not really that vital an organ, the spleen. i mean, i think it's a handy organ, but it's not a vital organ which -- nobody would harvest spleens. [laughter] you'd have to be in the spleen-harvesting community, there's probably an expression he's so dumb, he'd harvest a spleen. [laughter] so anyway, that was -- i had a lot more memories of that kind of thing with the remainders
than actual musical ones. [laughter] anyway, we're not here this year. maybe we'll be here next year, i hope. it's kind of hard to get everybody together. i'm really here to talk about a book that i wrote about florida called best.state.ever, and i am going to talk about that book, but i do feel because of recent events -- [laughter] [applause] that i need to address something that happened that's got a lot of people down, including me. i'm referring to the fact that last week my daughter got her florida driver's license. [laughter] and i, i don't know how many of you -- all of you drive down here. my joke always about florida is everybody here drives according to the law of his or her individual country of origin. [laughter] but it's terrifying when your child is out there. we're all used, kind of used to it. but she has, you know, she read
the manual. [laughter] the florida -- it's a pack of lies. [laughter] it says, like, when you come to a stop sign, everybody's going to stop. [laughter] not in miami, they're not, you know? [laughter] so i wanted, i wrote an essay for my daughter. it's actually in a book i wrote called live right and find happiness, although beer is much faster. and i just wanted to read a little essay. this was dedicated to my daughter when she got her permit. i wrote a reality-based florida driver's manual q&a. q: florida law strictly prohibits texting while driving. does this law apply to me? a: haha, of course not. q: if i stop at a red light, how will i know when it turns green? a: you will hear honking behind you. [laughter] this is your cue to start
wrapping up your current text unless, of course, it is important. q: i've noticed that some roads have more than one lane. what is the purpose of the extra lanes? [laughter] a: to provide a place for you to swerve into while texting. [laughter] q: when i come to a stop sign, do i need to stop? a: you personally? q: yes. a: no. q: how is the turn signal used in florida? [laughter] a: it is used to indicate to other motorists that that you do not realize your turn signal is blinking. [laughter] q: could it also be used to signal your intention to change lanes or turn? a: interesting. [laughter] nobody has ever tried that. q: what is the best kind of food to eat while driving? a: any food such as a sandwich, turkey leg, oyster or ding dong that can be eatennen one-handed so you still have a hand free
for texting. [laughter] q: what if an emergency situation arises that might require me to operate the steering wheel? [laughter] a: use your forehead to honk the horn. [laughter] until the emergencies has passed. q: my car's engine seems to have stopped, and i hear a busheling noise. -- busheling noise. what should be causing this? a: are you a senior citizen? >> q: yes. a: you have driven into a swimming pool. [laughter] q: i've had a few drinks, how can i tell if i should drive? a: take this simple test. are you wearing your underpants on your head? [laughter] q: not my underpantses, no. [laughter] a: then you are good to go. q: what is all that shouting? a: are you a senior citizen? q: yes. a: you have struck a pedestrian. [laughter]
and i can make senior citizen jokes, because i am one now. and let's be honest, we're not all the the best drivers. you'd probably -- i believe i've told this story before that they, this was a few years ago, miami police stopped a 72-year-old man driving a chevrolet cobalt which is not that weird except where they stopped him, runway nine, miami international airport. [laughter] that really did happen. apparently, he burst through a perimeter gate without realizing it and was on the tarmac when they finally caught him. which, to me, shows a lack of awareness. [laughter] i don't know about you, but if i'm driving and i notice i'm tailgating a 757 -- [laughter] i say, whoa, i'm not on the lejeune anymore here, am i? rah. [laughter] also, again, not to be knocking the seniors, i am one, but the couples that drive by the seeing-eye wife system? [laughter] you know what i'm talking about? it's a couple. the man drives, why?
because the man drives. all right? man's been driving for 70 years, but he can no longer see. he has outsourced the seeing to his wife. .. no, it's not, turn, that way. no! that kind of finish -- anyway. [laughter] so i will talk a little bit about the florida book, and then i'm going to, i'll take questions and we can talk about whatever you want. i have a feeling i know what we want to the talk about, although i don't know that we really do want to talk about it. anyway, the book is called best.state.ever. i moved to miami in 1986 from the united states, and -- [laughter] no, i've lived here a long, long time, and i feel immersed in the community. my wife, michelle, is cuban-jewish. yeah. they didn't come on rafts, they
parted the caribbean. [laughter] but i, you know, i kind of immersed in the culture. i speak fluent spanish. not the whole language, just -- [speaking spanish] i can say that fluently. and i have long been a defender of the city of miami. and for most of the time i've lived down here, florida really wasn't the joke. miami was the joke. people made fun of -- you know, people back from the miami vice days, people thought of miami as dangerous, cocaine cowboys, crazy place, you know? a violet place. violent place. i actually had bumper stickers once that said come back to miami, we weren't shooting at you. [laughter] which for some reason the chamber of commerce didn't adopt, but i still think it'd be a good slogan. but it was miami when i first got here that people, whoa, how could you live there? not so much florida, miami. really it's this sort of the
feeling of otherness begin to expand and cover the entire state of florida was the 2000 presidential election. which, when florida lived up to its motto, florida, you can't spell it without duh. [laughter] those of you who were here then remember it was not a good it was not a good time to be a and.es the other states were able to figure out who they voted for. k quickly but this completely baffled florida. i was up all night in many buzzword. first they called this date for gore and then they called the state for bush and then they said it was war again and for a while william shatner was leading.shatne by morning new but -- nobody knew what it was a complete mess. for the next few weeks we were the of every joke every nightep
and they were showing on thecoli news the collections officials holding up the ballots that have been chewed by weasels, we did know what to do. but i've the time proposed that because the problem with florida voters were unable to vote on af piece of cord -- cardboard. that's what it came down to. [laughter] so why at the time proposed we have a florida voter-approved ballot which would be you print for degrasse on the ballot and you vote by poking out yourur candidates eyeballs. [laughter] another great idea that nobody took me up on. so anyway, that was when we became the joke state, and we are to this day the joke state. i think you're probably all familiar with the florida man thing, florida man. there's this web site called the florida man devoted to weird stories out of florida, and there are so many of them, it's
almost impossible to believe. i was going to read you, these are actual florida man headlines. florida man poses as superman on side of the road while pantless, urinating. florida man says he danced on patrol car in order to escape vampires. florida man seen masturbating into stuffed animal in walmart bedding department. [laughter] florida man shoots sister in butt with bb gun because she gave him a penis-shaped birthday cake. and those are all real headlines, and that's just every day of the year over and over again. florida is, we do produce an amazing amount of weirdness. my statistic is we have 6% of the nation's population and produce 57% of the nation's weirdness. [laughter] which is a statistic, right? you can quote it. and the thing that bothers me about that and one of the
defenses i mount in the book is that, yes, yes, this is going on on. there are just more weird stories happen here than happen in other states. i think pound for pound, nobody's going to dispute that. but it isn't necessarily florida's fault. and i will give you an example of why i say that. this is a story, true story that you may remember when it happened. it was, made international news, went viral, and it happened in florida. what happened was -- and this involved a woman, not a man. woman was driving south on the overseas highway going to key west. and she was, according to the florida state police highway patrol report filed on this incident later, she was in a hurry because she wanted to see her boyfriend in key west. and she wanted to look good for him. and this is all, again, according to the police report. so she decided to shave her bikini region. now, some people would have pulled over to the side of the road --
[laughter] as i say, she was in a hurry, so she decided to keep driving, operating accelerator, but let the steering be done by her passenger who was, and this is one of the things that makes this a florida story, her ex-husband. [laughter] i'm not making any of this up. this is a true story. so they're going southbound at about 45 miles an hour. she's operating accelerator but not looking at the road because she's shaving her bikini region. he's steering, the passenger, ex-husband. what could possibly go wrong? [laughter] in a one in a million, fluke, the car in front of them elected to slow down to make a turn. [laughter] and they slammed into it at 45 miles an hour, and that was the accident that became international viral news.
do you believe the woman who was shaving herself? here's the thing, that woman was from indiana. [laughter] [applause] she was saving her these your, if you -- laugh -- her hoosier, if you -- [laughter] if you wondered all this time what that word moment. [laughter] but my point is, we, florida, gets the blame. florida, oh, florida. but this is true of many of these stories. people like a guy decides to pleasure himself in a stuffed animal in the bedding d. of walmart -- department of walmart, he's not going to go to ohio to do that. [laughter] he's coming here, okay? we are ellis island for these people, okay? [laughter] so there's that.
that's part of my defense. many of the people doing these things are not really from here. very few people are really from here, let's be honest. and there are some wonderful things about our state. we have terrific weather down here except during hurricane season which runs from june through the following june. [laughter] how many of you got taken in by matthew this year? i was holding out, because i'm so used to this. same drill, yeah, right, it's coming here. no, really, it could. you know, don't -- everybody be calm, but this could kill you. and so, you know, you're staying calm. finally, you know, they keep showing the cone and the thing, and even though you know it's not coming here because it never seems to come here, you just have to go to publix. [laughter] there's a true story. my wife and i both went separately to publix, we both just couldn't stand it anymore. and all the other people buying things they don't.
my wife came home with 9 volt batteries, and i said, we don't have anything that uses 9 volts. and she goes, well, that's all they had! [laughter] but other than that, the weather here is lovely. we love it. he taxes here are low. the that taxes are low. we have no state income tax here which is one of the reasons that you were here right now. what kind of government do we get for that? for tha [laughter] [applause] wait, wait we get in confident and corrupt government. new york has really high taxes and they also have incompetent and really corrupt government. we get in incompetent corrupt government for way less. [laughter] here's the point i'm making here most of the book is in fact a
love letter to the state of florida. a lot of people when they come to florida, now, to them that means they land at the airport in orlando and they go to one of the big theme parks and they go back to the airport and they go home and that's florida. there's a lot more to florida vin and i wanted to write about it in a charmingly florida and older florida so i asked a bunch of people i know many in journalism and one of them was tim dorsey who was here at this very clear a student at the state and i made a list of places that are very florida some old, some new just different and unlikely to be existing in other states that i went to those places and wrote about it and i ranked them mostly tourist attractions and i ranked them on a scale of one to
five. i don't know if you have seen these machines, back in probably the 50 some guy went around and sold these things every tourist attraction in florida.tion they look like i jute boxes and you feed money and i think $2 nothing happens because they are always out of order i did find one that worked. its pneumatic and it produces what looks like a ball of mucus shaped like a mermaid for a turtle or whatever it is. s it's the stupidest thing ever. i love it and every place i went i would almost always find a pneumatic machine but that was my ranking system.to touri mostly i talk about some the other things you can see in the state.th one of my favorite come you may have seen this the wildwood exit or whatever that highway is a beta turnpike there's a giant billboard.'s it's one of these souvenir stores and it says and it's been
this way for years it says windchimes gator heads. how many times that he said to yourself, i need a wind chime and i need a gator head. but i don't want to make two stops. [laughter]rd is that's what that billboard is therefore. [laughter] i went to the research center. route 41 if you have in their youth driven past it a million times. assiscunk aid research headquarters which sounds like a laboratory. it looks more like it tiki bar frequented by motorcycle gangs but it's a creature like bigfoot that lives in the everglades and nobody is seen it except for thr guy that runs the research headquarters.
some people claim to have seen it and we don't know how drunk they were when they did so i went up there and i never didre see it but i did purchase a nice t-shirt for my wife. anybody ever been to weeki wachee? now we are talking. weeki wachee is an old-school florida tourist attractions started in 1947 by a guy named nick perry. new perry was the famous underwater swimmer back in the day. he was actually coached the guy who swam in creature of the black lagoon. i don't know he was in a rubbera suit. the people are attacked by a guy in a rubber suit that nick perry can hold his breath forever and he performs stunts underwater like he can eat and apple. which makes sense because if you spend a few minutes down there you get hungry.
a gushing underwater spring turned into a theater. the women wearing robert bales swim in front of you at and brief their air hoses up occasionally and they drink a beverage and e and apple underwater. this was a big deal the 50s and 60s one of the biggest tourist attractions in the state of along came disney world and wiped out these places although weeki wachee is still there. you say to your kids today hey do you want to see harry potter or space mountain or she would watch women in robert bales eating and apple underwater? his kids today, you know. that weeki wachee is still goinl at the state park. your tax dollars are paying for weeki wachee which they are also paying for rick scott. [laughter] so you decide how you feel about that. i went to a place called the villages. where this wild sex is going on day and night senior citizens
having sex. there is one guy that wrote a book and one chapter where this guy brags about it. he just drove america crazy the idea that senior citizens which people my age are actually having sex. whoa. there are 300 magazine articles written about the villages allse of which mention sex in the first paragraph. i went up there and spend a couple of nights. [laughter]r] there is line dancing is what's going on up there. there's a tremendous amount of line dancing. i like the villages. it's kind of charming because if you go to a wedding nowadays and their younger people and older people they start to play old person music. all the old people get up and all the kids -- this place is
nothing but, no young people laughing. it's like they are enjoying themselves up there. they have a few inexpensive cocktails and they do line dances and nobody makes fun of them.es. i went to gator land. anyone been to gator land? i gave it 3.5. this is where they dangle chickens over the water and gators come up and snatch them and tourists cheer like crazy. it's. [laughter] but i liked it a lot. lock and load, miami where you can rent machine guns and i rented a machine gun and i wetac my pants. not really but i was too scared to wet my pants. as if they would let me have a machine gun that there was a big strong man behind me in case i
did anything.me just let me just say nobody in this room could get in. because it's impossible to get into a hot nightclub. i got in because i'd told strings but if i tried to get in the right way by standing in line and looking attractive years from now you would see my corpse there. still waiting to catch the eye of the mountain. i went to key west with a frient of mine trying to drink all the beer in key west. we came mighty close. i wanted to read you one sii wrote about what i think was probably the most interesting and where does place i went in the state of florida which is a town called cassadaga. some of you are familiar with cassadaga. a round of applause for
cassadaga. cassadaga is a community of spiritualists mediums and psychics so when you drive into this out-of-the-way little town and i went there the week before halloween. the creepiest time to go there and you drive back in a skull road and every house has a psychic medium. if your water heater blew up atu 2:00 in the morning you would get no help but if you needed an emergency tarot card reading, help would be minutes away.i sty i stated the cassadaga hotel which is a really creepy hotel.s the psychoshower in my bathroom, afraid to go to the bathroom in my own hotel. and i wanted to get a tarot card , a reading from a psychic so i went and what you do there's a spiritual center then they have a whiteboard for the
psychic mediums have written their names and phone numbers and there's a phone right there that seemed you can use to call there's also a cash machine. a lot of psychics don't take credit cards. it says to decide which psychic or medium you should use, use your intuition.se you [laughter] so i'm going to read you about my reading. using my intuition i started at the top of the list. after getting several voicemail machines i reached a light medium. she tells me she just had a cancellation so she has an availability right away. she said the session will lastsi 30 to 45 minutes and will cost $60 in cash. following judy's directions i walked a few blocks to a small house on the side street. judy a woman i'm guessing in her 30s ushers me your kitchen a darkened living room where candles are burning in new age music is playing softly that she has mesas on the sofa and she o sits in front of me with a small table between us. judy tells new about the history of cassadaga and explains she is
a trained medium. she said she doesn't use tools, just tarot cards and they claim they can communicate with theat dead and tend to look down on psychics who use cards crystals and other items and have the ability to see into the future. judy produces a sheet of paper and said she will be writing down things as she goes.l so i will have a record of our o session to she writes in large letters on the paper and begins talking. as she speaks she looks past me as if she's seeing his spirit i can't see.an sometimes she talks to the spirit. thank you she will say. judy said said she asim has seen canisters an asset that has any significance to me. i tried to think of canisters that have been significant in my life.[lau [laughter] but nothing comes to mind. for on the psyche go for months without canisters. judy said that might haveju something to do with an auto
shop and placement is important. she goes on for a while talkingt about the placement of the canisters but it's not ringing any bells.s.fe i'm starting to feel bad like i'm letting judy in the spirit community down. judy says she is seeing the number 76. iraq's my brain but all i could come up with is this song 76 trombones which is a rousing show tune but not one with which i feel a deep personal connection. i shake my head. judy said she's picking up something about bowling and brings up placement again that i shake my head again. i'm not a bowler. i'm totally failing at this. judy asked me if i had -- i wish i say.turnin this is turning into a nightmare. judy said she's getting something about a woman who maybe has something to do with race cars. i shake my head again. my wife happens to be a womann and she is a fast driver but not a racecar. she's an suv woman. i began to think dead people have me confused with somebody
else. [laughter] been judy said she's getting something about a turkey, aboutt turkey. a bird or the country i asked.th the bird, she says. i like turkey, i say. judy seems pleased.ter] [laughter] finally we are getting somewhere. judy says she sees something about music. i'm in a band. judy asked about the name ron. i tell her my wife's cousin's husband is named ron.d is n [laughter] we are on a roll nowit spiritually.[l [laughter] been judy brings up my parents. have they transitioned she says? have a what? died, she says.
i tell her they have to and in fact and she asked me if i'd like to contact them by spirit device which enables the dead to mitigate with us. i say, sure. she goes to the closet and brings back a small atomic device which you connect to a tiny speaker. she explains the spirit rocks picks up radio transmissions ans they spirit piggyback on these transmissions to say things to us but she tells me she's going to record me asking validating questions to prove that as my parents i'm connecting to. speaking into the spirit box i asked questions like where my parents were born in what street i grew up on the make up your process were judy plays back my questions and we both listened intently to the spirit box trying to pick up messages from beyond as the bot gets static random sounds. to you, this probably sounds like a load of hooey but i can say for a fact of the person who witnessed it first-hand that you are absolutely correct. [laughter]s a la
it is a large steaming fragrant pile of hooey. i have a hard time keeping a straight face. judy would say did you hear that and i say what? she would say it sounded like love you. listen. then she play a static he random sound that could have been love you but also could have been trampoline neilsen daca montpellier or pretty muche. anything else that i go -- we du that for a while and judyy hearing my parents telling me they're happy being dead and they love me the air is static. mercifully our session ends. i paid judy and leave for the piece of paper for which he has written notes about canisters and placement etc.. i say what we find myself picking about my parents. they both have excellent senses of humor and they would have been immensely entertained by the spirit box. i guess and we judy did connect me with them. so, anyway.
[applause] thank you. i will now entertain yourn be ao questions. he can be about anything. i have a feeling i know the summit topics might come up or if you have a problem at home you would like to share with the group we are here for you. [laughter] >> when you first moved here from the united states, did you have any major experience of culture shock? >> yeah. i mean, for me the really biggest shock really was the driving. i mean, i already i knew on abo, you know, there'd be a lot of people speaking spanish. that didn't bother me. but i was not prepared for the idea for a person who missed an exit on an interstate would back up. [laughter] [applause] to make that turn. so it is, that is still, in a
way, the part that i find hardest. but i love, i love miami. most of what s i love miami most of which shocks people. >> i haven't heard you speak about traffic circles proliferating. in places like england roundabouts work because people have respected here it seems to be i dare you to hit me and i double dare you. >> only miami would make trask trask -- traffic circles into a hostile thing. that i the people that i don't get are the people going to the trafficc circle and then stop.rstand ist i understand you stop beforese because you're confused. there a lot of things that are confusing to people. seen this so many times. they are in elaine and they have a giant arrow pointing left and above that is has left turn only in the light goes on with a green arrow pointing left.
what the hell do we do?coab about the situation. [laughter] let's wait for a few more cycles while we think. that i'm used to but why would you stop in traffic?go i agree with you is what i'm saying.but they but if you go there at the way in england, admit it. i'm going to try going in a circle and turning left instead of right. and see what happens. >> you work for the "miami herald". >> thank you for pointing thatoi out. >> you are welcome. when you go onto the on line site and you click on news there's a menu that says stay, international, local and then. [laughter] >> sorry "cnn." >> was that your idea? >> no, no.
but it makes sense you have to admit. it makes a ton of sense. >> would you care to expound on the subject of low flow toilets? >> low flow toilets. [laughter]t toilets we used to have great toilets in this country. [laughter] we had powerful toilets. we had have toilets over the envy of the world. we had toilets that down the drain and mature. and we have these toilets that don't work. you have to flush it of eight times to get a ping-pong ball to go down. if you a ping-pong ball if your toilet you should see the doctor. big leak echo strongly about is i ran for president on thehe
senate apparently didn't win. i'm here come you know. things we need for the profession to find a way to get the gland other than a way theyy are into it now. [applause] [laughter] who is with me on back? manhater procedure. you are tens and the doctor hates it and you hate it. they wait until the end of the famine they are hoping for a nuclear war. the civilization is destroyed, good news we don't have to do that. they always wait until the end of my doctor may be been in this room, but the first time i had a physical exam i would turn around in my pants are down and he's putting on his clothing yos know. i'm all tense and here's what he said to me at that moment.
he said he know dave when you feel nervous as is when you feel both my hands on your shoulders. [laughter] [applause] that is not my job. that is my doctors. that is curtis amber's joke. hi. >> hi there. my father works for newspaper and write a column. >> your father works where? >> he works for a newspaper. he's the editor of a newspaper in washington today wanted to ask you a thought of the column as a form of writing and where that's going in the next generation. >> your dad is a columnist? it's a great thing. [laughter] no, i fear not to bring everything down but the way journalism is going it's harder