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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  January 26, 2015 9:21am-9:53am PST

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( waves crashing ) this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) >> jon: hey welcome to the daily show, my name is jn stewart. big one tonight. first of all from the fill song one, the delightful anne hathaway is going to
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join us. i can't condition taken myself. ladies and gentlemen i'm to the going to lie to you that is not what i do. last night was the state of the union address. in my time here at let's call it the anchor desk i have covered probably 62 of these. it's become as much as january ritual for me as my midday four-hour seasonal effective disorder nap. so to be honest i'm a little over it with the promising and the clapping and the-- wait is that one of the-- hold on a second. is that-- is that one of the actual founding fathers? sam [bleep] adams, is that you? what? huh? (cheers and applause) so going into last night, i got to tell you less than excited. until i heard what was going to happen. >> this is the biggest night of the year in american
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politics. >> tonight's the big night in washington. >> president obama will take on tax reform in this year's state of the union address in a big way. >> an exciting night in the nation's capitol. >> jon: oh my gosh, tax reform oh my god oh may god, oh my god! (laughter) you know what? i'm in. even if they staged relatively rote exercise and political theater passing for an exciting night in your town makes me sad, it makes me want to take washington d.c. to thailand with leonardo dicaprio and an eight ball and show you what life could really be. but you know what, maybe this will be exciting. it's president obama's second to last state of the yawn, first time presiding over a fully republican congress. he's taking on tax reform in a big way. so i hear. let's do [bleep]. >> let's close the loopholes that lead to inequality by allowing the top 1% to avoid paying taxes on their accumulated wealth. (laughter)
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>> jon: is that it? kuz the news people the news people said you were unveiling a big tax reform proposal and i thought it was go stock like elizabeth warren is going to get a stun gun an we're letting her loose on wall street! i think that is a bolt gun. or maybe there's going to be a new called romney tax which is a tax on romney! but as free as he felt the president never forgot where he came from. >> you know just over a decade ago i gave a speech in boston where i said there wasn't a liberal america or a conservative america a black america or white america but a united states of america. i still believe that we are one people. >> jon: mr. president jon stewart new orleans time pick union. i have one question for you
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being president for six areas in washington d.c. for ten years why would you still think that? (laughter) it's amazing. (cheers and applause) >> jon: you've been in washington d.c. how do you still have that hope. you live in the city america invented for the sole purpose of sending its most pelty most partisan argumentative assholes, a plague evidently so ferbl the house of representativeses who sole purpose is to have representation will not allow it to be represented. look at these people you deal with every day. look at them not react to what under normal human circumstances would be unanimous applause lines. >> this congress still needs to pass a law that makes sure a woman is paid the same as a man for doing the same work. >> 11 million new jobs.
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a stock market that has doubled and health care inflation at its lowest rate in 50 years. (applause) vote to give millions of hardest people in america a raise. (applause) >> jon: what is that? are you sitting because you prefer a lower stock market and fewer jobs? do you sit because you want higher inflation? no. what is clear is that the blue-- the glue that holds us together as a people is not nearly as strong as the glue holding the wood of john boehner's chair to the wood of john boehner's ass! i say that he has wood there-- (applause) >> and let me say this again and i have said this before and i say this to you tonight the american people john boehner is grute. watch, watch, as the
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president has to go remedial on these folks. >> in is good news people. >> jon: this is good news. you [bleep] idiots! after the speech we're going to eat food. it goes in your mouth hole. >> not if you made it. bleh. >> and incidentally democrats didn't mention this good news during the midterms because you know they wanted to keep control of the senate but not at the cost of giving away any state of the union -- >> last night it was like the entire gop realized it was allergic to applauding things. although to be fair to one republican senate majority leader senate mitch mcconnell had rolled on to his back and could not be turned over unaided. he was-- (applause) >> but even though-- he was tired of watching t even though the president speaks with affection for how our country really is unified
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just watch how close to the edge this man's true emotions about the people he works with really are. >> i have no more campaigns to run. my only agenda-- (applause) i know cus i won both of them. (applause) >> jon: that is for my money, that is as close as you will ever hear to i don't go down to where you work and knock the [bleep] out of your mouth from a sitting united states president with the exception of course of president dangerfield. it happened. look it up. he ran on a platform of lack of perspective. but despite all the talk of tax policy trade agreements and verbal dickflap. americans really just want a personal story that feels similar to their own. so the president brought the speech home with some real people. >> seven years ago rebecca
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and ben erler of minneapolis were newly-weds. she waited tables. he worked construction. ben's business dried up. she took out student loans an enrolled in community college and retrained for a new career. rebekah got a better job and a raise, bought their first home america rebekah and ben's story is our story. >> jon: what? their story is america's story? i feel like that's way too much pressure to put on a couple. now they have to stay together. honey, i feel like it's not working out. >> go ahead. walk out on america. (laughter) >> for more we head out to senior married correspondent samantha bee and jason jones in washington tonight. hey guys, how are you. >> hi jon (cheers and applause) >> jon: what did you make what did you make of the president's repeated use of this couple ben and rebekah?
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>> well the concept was brilliant jon. the country is a marriage and their marriage is the country. >> jon: yeah. >> it was absolute boss concept, execution kind of sucked. >> yeah. mostly the casting. >> yes yes. >> . >> jon: why would you hard on them. >> it is awkward to bring up for us but we were actually up for that part. >> not that they didn't do a great job. i mean some of her choices were a little hallmark for my taste. >> jon: you two were going to be seated next to the first lady of the united states seriously? >> uh-huh. >> jon: that was the coup frel "gone the girl" not available? how is that even possible. maybe the president wanted people who genuinely struggled through hard time waiting tables working construction to be representative of the country, not you know tv stars. >> oh my god! tv stars! jon, we're correspondent on a basic cable fake news show. that's the waiting tables of being on television.
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>> plus our boss is a total munt. >> jon: what is a munt. >> it's a man [bleep]. (applause) >> jon: did you just-- i did just get munt punted? >> we needed that gig more than they did. okay what does rebekah get out of being on television, she is a waitress. is she going to sign a deal with paramount. >> is ben going to put it on his construction real. god. >> jon: maybe next year. welcome back to showdown! i'm jerry rice here discussing the big race between the tortoise and the hare. my guest is stephanie branton. jerry, i'm going bunny. shocker. not really. you see, the hare's "thoracic limbs" allow for greater extension and elongated strides. look for the hare to leverage this advantage. ok. vote on twitter for your chance to win a
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yeast. for outstanding achievement in unforced response speech error previous winners include dry lips mcgee. and crazy eyes where i do look? and old bobby [bleep] i'm going to jail. so who is going home with the implodeie this year? >> joni ernst is giving the republican spors. >> a tea party favorite. >> very strong. >> instant gop rock star. >> a woman who rides a harley. >> she grew up cass straight-- castrating pigs. >> trying to make them squeal in washington. >> jon: oh man gop is bringing the funk. without better than a hog ball bull dozein squeal generating harley's angel to grab the attention with vitality of the american people. take it away senator. >> grow-- growing up, hi only one good pair of shoes. so on rainy school days my mom would slip plastic bread bags over them but i was never embarrassed. because the school bus would be filled with rows and rows
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of young iowaans with bread bags slipped over their feet. >> jon: is that you siri? (cheers and applause) >> jon: you know, that seemed like less of a response to the president's address than an application essay to nostalgia university. nostalgia university it was better when your dad went there. what is ernst trying to accomplish by telling herr origin story. >> her job was to humanize the republican party. (laughter) >> jon: well, if her job was to humanize the republican party mission accomplished. all right. so that was the republican
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response. and i guess because she's the tea party sweetheart, it counts as a tea party response as well. so i guess we're done. that's all-- conditions curt clawson giving the tea party response. >> jon: what? i thought 14e was the tea-- all right, i guess he better have something pretty important to say to justify a separate official response. >> decades ago i played basketball at purdue. we had a guard from the west coast a forward from gary a post player from cincinnati,. >> jon: a small-- from tijuana an assistant coach from the third moon of jupiter. and we had a jewish water boy with some kind of speech impediment. it all went-- all right. inspiring basketball melting pot anecdote delivered. those were the two tea party responses and we're done. so that's -- >> rand paul is giving on his own youtube channel a response. >> liberal elites fly over
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my small town but they don't understand us. they simply seek to impose their will upon us. >> jon: liberal elites? you're a doctor and a senator with a 12-term congressman father and a first name synonymous with a russian novelist? that's pretty [bleep] elite. so i guess the engineer here liberal, fine we got the response to the tea party response to the tea party response. i assume that's all. >> a response from another potential presidential candidate ted cruz. >> jon: how many [bleep] people are at this tea party? and what did this guy put on his feet when it rained. >> median incomes have stagnated for over a decade.
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>> let me start over. (applause) (cheers and applause) >> jon: here's a tip. if are you looking to run for president maybe you shouldn't make your response to the state of the union look like a ransom video. (laughter) or the part of the porno everybody fast towards through. senator cruz i present to you this year's implodeie. i would let you give an acceptance speech but nah.
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(cheers and applause) welcome back. welcome back my guest tonight latest film it is called song one. >> you can't tell me that you thought that dropping out of college was a good idea. >> he did not want to go back. what was i supposed to do? >> you never would have let me do that. >> you never would have wanted to have done that ever. and speaking of you you basically dropped off the grid for six months for six months we didn't hear anything from you. and that-- is that okay? >> no i called you. i did text. >> yeah the famous text yeah. >> well, if you would em tea your voice-mail every once in a while. >> that's it, yup that's it
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you're right. you have all the answers. >> i'm very uncomfortable right now. welcome back to the program anne hathaway. come on! >> jon: sit on a chair. >> thank you. (applause) >> thank you (cheers and applause) >> jon: let me ask you this. who did the music in this? the music in this thing is crazy good. >> it is good isn't it? >> jon: who did this. >> jenny lewis and jonathan rice. >> jon: the-- rilo-- what -- >> she was in a band called rilo kylie. >> jon: i'm just going to say the beatles it's easier to say. >> i'm totally happy with that. >> jon: the two of them are in a band. >> they are in a band called jenny and johnnie and they each have their own solo careers. >> jon: did they write
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specifically for this? >> yes. >> jon: that's interesting. it's really good. >> thank you. >> jon: did-- i sort of was expecting you to sing. you have a very nice voice. >> thanks. >> jon: there is not a lot of anne hathaway -- >> a little bit but kind of in a thin voice and very off key. there is a reason for it. >> jon: yeah. they said sounded like me is that what they did? >> that specific note did not come up. but my character i play a young anthropologist getting her-- ph.d in more-- morocco. something happened when she was a teenager that made her grow up too fast. she became an adult quickly young. so she never kind of explored any part of her artistic side. and then her little brother who is 19 calls her up age says i'm dropping out of college to be a musician and she doesn't react very well. they hadn't spoken for six months and he gets hit by a car and is in a coma. (laughter)
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that is my facebook update. and then the movie is done. and there's music. and there's a really great guy played johnny-- he is tremendous. >> jon: but your brother is in a coma that is true. i'm sorry. i've seen t and that was still a bit of a spoiler alert, i'm sorry. >> they told me when that scene came on he fell off his bread mill. >> jon: did he really? -- treadmill. i tell you, here is the only difference between me and that guy. i don't use the treadmill? >> you don't? >> jon: i didn't. but i did fall off. i do not use it. all right. >> it's okay. >> jon: seriously let's talk about art. let's talk about movies.
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>> we're talking about art and movies. >> jon: this is very serious and i think important in depth exploration of family dime in-- dynamics. (laughter) and i appreciated the work you did it in as a producer and as an actress. >> thank you very much. i also want to say that it was-- my work as a producer on this film-- (laughter) that made me want to explore the work of others. >> jon: yes, no i understand. i understand. you are doing a play. >> i am doing a play, one woman show, what is that. >> it's called grounded and it's-- . >> jon: it is the story of a woman who misquestion haves and has to stay in her room for a week. i understand. >> jon spoiler alert. >> jon: yes i'm sorry. a one woman show, where are
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you doing it. >> pe at the public these they are spring, we open in april. >> who is better than you. >> thank you. >> jon: song one, open in select theaters. on demand and itunes on friday anne hathaway everybody. >> thank you. (cheers and applause) [ female announcer ] hot pockets sandwiches are even tastier with delicious quality ingredients. like hickory ham... that's right baby. ...and our buttery seasoned crusts. then we add hot. because hot makes everything better. [ ding! ] [ female announcer ] better taste. better quality. ♪ hot pockets! ♪
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>> jon: that's our show. stay tuned for the nightly. here it is, your moment of zen. >> hey mr. vice president. how do you feel about addressing republicans the president doing so. >> i think it's great. >> and you have members of the house
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>> larry: tonightly, we are talking cosby, we will answer the question, did he do it? the answer will be yes. he says he's sent protesters say he's guilty. there's a statute of limitations on the charges but there's no statute of limitations on my opinion and i am telling you that mother (bleep) did it. so let's do this! [ cheers and applause caption


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